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Alright. Dog's been walked. Coffee's on. Fireplace is on and watching the Yule Log on TV with pets playing in front of the fire & tree full of presents. Bring on the stories of the drunken relatives going bat shit crazy on one another. 

Oh, and peace and love and happiness to all y'all and shit like that.

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@work.  No drama to speak of.  Merry Christmas, fools. 

It’s game time boys. Tighten up those jock straps and give it all you got !

We’re all depending on you 

MIL and FIL already at each other’s throats.  Merry Friggin Crimmus.    

Can’t get out of here fast enough.  

8 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
8 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:


Cosetta? Did he think Ragu was Cosetta?

Yes.

Damn

MIL and FIL already at each other’s throats.  Merry Friggin Crimmus.    
Can’t get out of here fast enough.  


Spike their coffee?

This cup of coffeee has run out of room for whiskey.... 

Woke up to a call from a special lady wishing me a merry christmas...so I am hoping that will bring me through...

Damn
It was funny. Not sure how he even came to that assumption. I know he had a shiner or 2. Cossettas is the goat, he'll usually pick up some sauce and meatballs for the family if he's in the area.

29 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

This cup of coffeee has run out of room for whiskey.... 

Woke up to a call from a special lady wishing me a merry christmas...so I am hoping that will bring me through...

Yeah. I got a call from South Austin’s mom this morning too. 

This is the song we deserve...

 

FIL and I started off with Jack and Egg Nog at 5am. Now it's Mimosa Time!

SIL has shown up and killed our buzz. Constantly trying to put down everyone else, but barely has a pot to piss in. And wouldn't have that if it wasn't for my dumbass wife.

 

Edited by Brothahorn

If she pulls some bullshit...... yes..
Luckily it will be over soon... she is an idiot.

Look, man, a dishonorable discharge for [checks file] carnal relations with a goat belonging to the village chief while on a sensitive mission is nothing to be ashamed of.

Wait...yes, yes it is.
34 minutes ago, Iceman said:

This is the song we deserve...

 

Stolen from the lulz thread:

 

10 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

I take it this is a bad thing. 

 

He was a Master Chief on on the USS Eisenhower.

Things are still pretty calm around here. This afternoon all of the in-laws friends come over. Somebody draw me a bingo board of all the shit boomer trumpkins like to talk about. Muslims, gays, obummer, etc.

The gift from MIL this year was bed sheets. No lecture. Strange but I’ll call it a win.

BIL went to the grocery store this morning to do his Christmas shopping and came back smelling like booze. Still under control though.

SIL did the cooking this morning and did a great job. Of course MIL who over salts everything complained that it was too salty (it wasn’t at all). SIL checks her with a quickness. She is the unexpected hero of the trip so far.

32 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Look, man, a dishonorable discharge for [checks file] carnal relations with a goat belonging to the village chief while on a sensitive mission is nothing to be ashamed of.

Wait...yes, yes it is.

Calling your mom a goat on christmas day is not fair to the other goats I banged while on tour.

Soooo many goats....

Edited by MissingInAction

1 hour ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

I just spiked mine, the first of many.

My wife just commented on the whiskey bottle we opened last night being surprisingly low.  Where did it all go?

15 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

This fucker is so fucking stupid I am honestly concerned he may have a brain injury/nohyperbole.

 

Just picked up a variety pack of mini bar sized liqour bottles.

My plan is to leave them laying around their house like claymores then watch the chaos ensue.

Planting these lil bastards now.

 

Caught up in the in laws group text for xmas. Not a big deal, but I admit to being a dickhead about people simply pressing "like' on their iPhone. If you cant take 5 seconds to type a simple wish or fuck it, even send some emojis then you're kind of a lazy bastard in my book.

My BiL is beginning his second hour of F1 racing talk.

He has a photographic memory and isn’t missing a single detail.  Teams, manufacturers, drivers, etc.

I’m not into F1 racing.

It was funny. Not sure how he even came to that assumption. I know he had a shiner or 2. Cossettas is the goat, he'll usually pick up some sauce and meatballs for the family if he's in the area.



Same. My brother lives there and we always stop and get their sauce and meatballs. So damn good.
4 hours ago, Underdog said:

@work.  No drama to speak of.  Merry Christmas, fools. 

Do you work at 7 Eleven?

26 minutes ago, blacklab said:

No, you need to tell him you like Nascar and drag racing, mainly because the technology is better than F1.

 

The computer does all that hard stuff 

1 hour ago, Larry T. Spider said:

The gift from MIL this year was bed sheets. No lecture. Strange but I’ll call it a win.

You should have acted excited and told her you couldn’t wait to get home and soil them with her daughter. 

Since 7:30 AM eastern time: Not one stretch of more than 2 minutes without a reprimand, complaint, gripe or bitching.  

FML

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2 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

I need to find out if @pearlandhorn outdid receiving a weedwhacker replacement string this year.

Ahhhh here we go.

Batteries this year. Double A, triple A, a battery for my drill...batteries. I also did get a new scope for my deer rifle.

SILs got a literal small box of hundreds. My wife? Nope. My in-laws either hate me or feel sorry for my SILs because every fucking year since we’ve been married, they’ve given them cash and my wife nothing. Maybe it’s due to the fact they know I make a lot of money from my job and my wife has everything she needs and wants. Still irritates the fuck out of me. My wife finally asked where her cash was this year. They didn’t say anything.

28 minutes ago, pearlandhorn said:

Ahhhh here we go.

Batteries this year. Double A, triple A, a battery for my drill...batteries. I also did get a new scope for my deer rifle.

SILs got a literal small box of hundreds. My wife? Nope. My in-laws either hate me or feel sorry for my SILs because every fucking year since we’ve been married, they’ve given them cash and my wife nothing. Maybe it’s due to the fact they know I make a lot of money from my job and my wife has everything she needs and wants. Still irritates the fuck out of me. My wife finally asked where her cash was this year. They didn’t say anything.

That's bullshit. Skip next year. 

You could double or triple the cash and wrap it up and give it to your wife to see the look on the inlaws faces.

1 minute ago, B1G said:

You could double or triple the cash and wrap it up and give it to your wife to see the look on the inlaws faces.

Listen to this man. He's Pre-Med.

Xmas fajitas update : pre packaged fajitas from Costco were damn good. Much more tender than HeB (and I’m a life long heb fajita fan) 

family crisis adverted 

BIL left to go visit trashy gf instead of bringing her here. Missed out on a damn good opportunity there. People are coming over at 4:00. He will be late....and drunk. MIL will be pissed about both.

SILs husband cooked the rib roast last year and it was great. MIL is refusing to let him do it again this year because it wasn’t burned to her tasting. SIL saves the day again and he is cooking 1 of the 3. I’ll be first in line for the good shit.

We have enough fire wood for the next 5 years. FIL just left to buy fire wood. Whatever, he probably just wanted a break.

 

BIL left to go visit trashy gf instead of bringing her here. Missed out on a damn good opportunity there. People are coming over at 4:00. He will be late....and drunk. MIL will be pissed about both.
SILs husband cooked the rib roast last year and it was great. MIL is refusing to let him do it again this year because it wasn’t burned to her tasting. SIL saves the day again and he is cooking 1 of the 3. I’ll be first in line for the good shit.
We have enough fire wood for the next 5 years. FIL just left to buy fire wood. Whatever, he probably just wanted a break.
 
Keep us updated on the rib roast. Maybe take a pic of the devoured good one vs the shoe leather one
1 hour ago, pearlandhorn said:

Ahhhh here we go.

Batteries this year. Double A, triple A, a battery for my drill...batteries. I also did get a new scope for my deer rifle.

SILs got a literal small box of hundreds. My wife? Nope. My in-laws either hate me or feel sorry for my SILs because every fucking year since we’ve been married, they’ve given them cash and my wife nothing. Maybe it’s due to the fact they know I make a lot of money from my job and my wife has everything she needs and wants. Still irritates the fuck out of me. My wife finally asked where her cash was this year. They didn’t say anything.

25-ECDC5-B-1-C6-A-4-CD1-8-FFE-7-BE667780

 

52 minutes ago, B1G said:

You could double or triple the cash and wrap it up and give it to your wife to see the look on the inlaws faces.

Do it.gif

50 minutes ago, B1G said:

You could double or triple the cash and wrap it up and give it to your wife to see the look on the inlaws faces.

Better safe than sorry and triple up the cash and give it to yourself from as a gift from your wife. 

5 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

I just spiked mine, the first of many.

Met some rando Brownsville native in Padre during Spring Break '90. He was fucking hilarious, and one of his best stories involved him spiking the ice tray at his parents' dinner party with acid. Not a ton, like four hits scattered over 12 cubes, so everybody got just a little over half a hit each. He said the guests were all saying things like "Oh my god, this is the best punch ever! Where did you get the recipe?" whil he,  the son, just watched and cackled.

So, file that away for next year.  

40 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

Xmas fajitas update : pre packaged fajitas from Costco were damn good. Much more tender than HeB (and I’m a life long heb fajita fan) 

family crisis adverted 

I meant to respond.  The Costco pre marinated fajitas are the shit.  Better than HEB. Better than La Michoacána

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