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2 hours ago, Lobo said:

You said it man.  I'm actually back in Austin, was just identifying with some of the above posts about baptist and Catholic MIL's that were giving their daughters shit for their husbands drinking or leaving to drink after the Christmas proper events.  Sorry for booze-filled empathy on a thread about family bullshit.  

Wait, a catholic MIL giving people shit about drinking?

My small town Texas Catholic MIL drank Bourbon & branch water and gave me a subscription to Playboy.

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My dad, sister and BIL are coming over tomorrow to do our christmas get-together. My sister texted me today, she's pissed at my dad. They had their own gathering with her 2 adult children and my dad, as usual. Like he does every year, my dad gave everyone a little bag of candy and cash. Everyone, that is, except my nephew. No other way to say it other than he's a loser: pushing 30, unemployed for years and lives with my dad. He was there to help dad out during his recovery from heart surgery but that was 3 years ago. Dad lets him live there, rent free. Paid for his gas (until the truck went tits up last week) and buys all his food as well. Nephew didn't get any cash this year and my sister is pissed. I guess she wanted me to agree with her but I wasn't going to go there. I just said dad's getting old, blah blah. 

I already know he's going to give me and my kids some cash tomorrow, I wonder how she'll act? I feel a stinkeye incoming.

44 minutes ago, Sandman said:

My dad, sister and BIL are coming over tomorrow to do our christmas get-together. My sister texted me today, she's pissed at my dad. They had their own gathering with her 2 adult children and my dad, as usual. Like he does every year, my dad gave everyone a little bag of candy and cash. Everyone, that is, except my nephew. No other way to say it other than he's a loser: pushing 30, unemployed for years and lives with my dad. He was there to help dad out during his recovery from heart surgery but that was 3 years ago. Dad lets him live there, rent free. Paid for his gas (until the truck went tits up last week) and buys all his food as well. Nephew didn't get any cash this year and my sister is pissed. I guess she wanted me to agree with her but I wasn't going to go there. I just said dad's getting old, blah blah. 

I already know he's going to give me and my kids some cash tomorrow, I wonder how she'll act? I feel a stinkeye incoming.

Tell your sister that Dad decided to save up all the rent, food and gas money your dad gave to the nephew this year and give it back to him as a Christmas surprise/present.....which is what he did.

Edited by ABSR

6 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Wait, a catholic MIL giving people shit about drinking?

My small town Texas Catholic MIL drank Bourbon & branch water and gave me a subscription to Playboy.

I heard Grace Coolidge had a muff like a tarantula...

My mom arrived at 7:10 at La Gaurdia. It's a 10 minute ride from where I live in Astoria. She got in and slept for a coue of hours. Because she was tired we went to Lincoln Square to the AMC and we watched Knives Out. Fantastic movie. It was my 3rd time seeing it and Daniel Craig does an amazing southern gentleman accent.

We left and went to Bryant Park. I skated and my mom enjoyed seeing me skate. We had to go back to Harlem to get my work shoes so tht was nice.

12 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I guess you haven't ever taken your stripper wife to a southern Baptist family reunion in West Columbia Texas then.

Oh to be a fly on the wall when people used to ask "So, Mrs. NMAS, what do you do for a living?"  

16 hours ago, Lobo said:

Because we visit there all the time you imbecile.  Sometimes Daddy wants to volunteer to go "run errands" and maybe have a few drinks in peace.  But this town literally has 250 people and 2 places are legally allowed to sell alcohol.  And those two places literally report to the whole town who came in there (or whose SIL came by) and who drank what.  What part of that wasn't clear?  Not like Texas doesn't have equally judgey merchants.  You realize how quickly word travels that a Hispanic half-Jew came in came in as customer #3 and drank a pitcher himself while waiting for a to-go pizza?  Especially when you can see all 50 homes in town from the pizza place.  What part are you not getting?  Yeah, I don't live there, but I visit and this kinda bullshit makes it hard.  Do you need diagrams or something or are you just so awesome, you can't picture a small town with cranky people?   On a literal thread of Holiday drama with family, I was talking about how hard it is to get some booze refuge away from in-laws and their town makes it nearly impossible.  And you give me shit for giving a damn about judgy merchants?  I'm honestly woefully curious where the disconnect in your fucking brain is occurring?  Because I want a hit of whatever your dumbass is having.  

You need another drink. 

I guess you haven't ever taken your stripper wife to a southern Baptist family reunion in West Columbia Texas then.
This story been posted anywhere? Sounds like a fun read.

I've never heard about anything good out near Angleton, so I'm assuming this story is awash in colorful anecdotes.  

Oh wait, was the family reunion on her side?  

8 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

My mom arrived at 7:10 at La Gaurdia. It's a 10 minute ride from where I live in Astoria. She got in and slept for a coue of hours. Because she was tired we went to Lincoln Square to the AMC and we watched Knives Out. Fantastic movie. It was my 3rd time seeing it and Daniel Craig does an amazing southern gentleman accent.

We left and went to Bryant Park. I skated and my mom enjoyed seeing me skate. We had to go back to Harlem to get my work shoes so tht was nice.

Movies & skate time with mom sounds cool.

Seriously...  that's the good stuff.  Sorry you had to work...LOL.

Edited by Iceman

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9 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

My mom arrived at 7:10 at La Gaurdia. It's a 10 minute ride from where I live in Astoria. She got in and slept for a coue of hours. Because she was tired we went to Lincoln Square to the AMC and we watched Knives Out. Fantastic movie. It was my 3rd time seeing it and Daniel Craig does an amazing southern gentleman accent.

We left and went to Bryant Park. I skated and my mom enjoyed seeing me skate. We had to go back to Harlem to get my work shoes so tht was nice.

are you Brian Boitano?

My mom arrived at 7:10 at La Gaurdia. It's a 10 minute ride from where I live in Astoria. She got in and slept for a coue of hours. Because she was tired we went to Lincoln Square to the AMC and we watched Knives Out. Fantastic movie. It was my 3rd time seeing it and Daniel Craig does an amazing southern gentleman accent.

We left and went to Bryant Park. I skated and my mom enjoyed seeing me skate. We had to go back to Harlem to get my work shoes so tht was nice.

Daniel Craig’s accent in Knives Out is ludicrous, but otherwise that sounds like a nice day.

9 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

My mom arrived at 7:10 at La Gaurdia. It's a 10 minute ride from where I live in Astoria. She got in and slept for a coue of hours. Because she was tired we went to Lincoln Square to the AMC and we watched Knives Out. Fantastic movie. It was my 3rd time seeing it and Daniel Craig does an amazing southern gentleman accent.

We left and went to Bryant Park. I skated and my mom enjoyed seeing me skate. We had to go back to Harlem to get my work shoes so tht was nice.

Hope you grabbed a sandwich at that grilled cheese haus at the winter village. Shit’s legit.

10 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

We had to go back to Harlem to get my work shoes so tht was nice.

Username not checking out. 

Well, to be fair---Harlem is on the West side of the Island.  And up there a ways...

Can I pause to brag about my daughter? Most of yall know she was a sergeant in the Army. She's out now and going to college. Lives in an apartment about a mile away from me. Sometime around Thanksgiving I notice she was driving her girlfriends car and I asked what was wrong with her truck. She said she needed the break pads replaced. I didn't really give it another thought.

Fast forward to the week before Christmas. I called to see if I could borrow her truck to move a table. She said her truck had no breaks right now and she was saving up to get them fixed.I asked how she was getting to work. She was walking. I told her she could just borrow my suv (I have a work van so I wouldn't be out of a vehicle). She said she was fine walking. I told her I would pay for the breaks. She told me no.

Finally after an hour of arguing I convinced her let me pay for any over what she had saved up. 

I sure as hell wasn't that mature at 23.

 

23 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Can I pause to brag about my daughter? She said she needed the break pads replaced. I didn't really give it another thought.

 She said her truck had no breaks right now and she was saving up to get them fixed. I told her I would pay for the breaks. She told me no.

 

I sure as hell wasn't that mature at 23.

 

How were you as a speller?

But props to your daughter for having her shit together.

yeah. I suck at that. I'm also old enough not to really care about it though

Edited by Jameslaw121

4 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

yeah. I suck at that. I'm also old enough not to really care about it though

I hope I never get that old.

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Can I pause to brag about my daughter? Most of yall know she was a sergeant in the Army. She's out now and going to college. Lives in an apartment about a mile away from me. Sometime around Thanksgiving I notice she was driving her girlfriends car and I asked what was wrong with her truck. She said she needed the break pads replaced. I didn't really give it another thought.

Fast forward to the week before Christmas. I called to see if I could borrow her truck to move a table. She said her truck had no breaks right now and she was saving up to get them fixed.I asked how she was getting to work. She was walking. I told her she could just borrow my suv (I have a work van so I wouldn't be out of a vehicle). She said she was fine walking. I told her I would pay for the breaks. She told me no.

Finally after an hour of arguing I convinced her let me pay for any over what she had saved up. 

I sure as hell wasn't that mature at 23.

 

Pics of her truck?

5 hours ago, RollLeft said:

Pics of her truck?

fuck that, pics of her GF instead please. 

7 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Username not checking out. 

Girlfriend lives there. Pretty nice area.

7 hours ago, Lobo said:

Well, to be fair---Harlem is on the West side of the Island.  And up there a ways...

Spanish Harlem. 

8 hours ago, wd40 said:

are you Brian Boitano?

Out of rep. That actually made me laugh out loud.

8 hours ago, The Ace of Aces said:

Hope you grabbed a sandwich at that grilled cheese haus at the winter village. Shit’s legit.

I have not, but I love grilled cheese. Probably stop by Monday evening to get one. Thanks for the recommendation.

I want deaths sweet release right FUCKING NOW!

i have managed to avoid the hillbillys for 2 days but i'll be fucked if they didnt decide to sit down and watch "the football championship bowl game thingy".  One 80 year old hillybilly (MIL), the SIL who i want to fucking murder (know it all who has a PhD but teaches high school chemistry in fountain lake arkansas...good use of that education you cunt).  throw my wife in the mix who is the most wonderful person in the world....until her family comes to town.

they have asked "will they turn on the mercy rule?", "can we flip it over to lifetime since this game is no good?", "turn down the volume", "we are hungry, are you going to cook prime rib again tonight? (cause the one last night wasnt enough i guess)".

oh, the mercy rule conversation turned into me grabbing a knife.  SIL-cunt, argued that in arkansas once a team is up by 30 points they stop the game and that its a "national rule" to stop games when one team is up by 30.

 

heading to the patio for another beer to wash down the burbon.

you should have told the SIL that there is a caveat to the mercy rule, if ou is getting donkey fucked the mercy rule doesnt apply, and in fact, running up the score is encouraged vs ou

25 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

fuck that, pics of her GF instead please. 

That took way too long. Y’all gloss over that part? 

2 hours ago, chesthair said:

I want deaths sweet release right FUCKING NOW!

i have managed to avoid the hillbillys for 2 days but i'll be fucked if they didnt decide to sit down and watch "the football championship bowl game thingy".  One 80 year old hillybilly (MIL), the SIL who i want to fucking murder (know it all who has a PhD but teaches high school chemistry in fountain lake arkansas...good use of that education you cunt).  throw my wife in the mix who is the most wonderful person in the world....until her family comes to town.

they have asked "will they turn on the mercy rule?", "can we flip it over to lifetime since this game is no good?", "turn down the volume", "we are hungry, are you going to cook prime rib again tonight? (cause the one last night wasnt enough i guess)".

oh, the mercy rule conversation turned into me grabbing a knife.  SIL-cunt, argued that in arkansas once a team is up by 30 points they stop the game and that its a "national rule" to stop games when one team is up by 30.

 

heading to the patio for another beer to wash down the burbon.

Does your SIL live in New Mexico? 

Did she bring a sketchy looking friend along who calls everyone bitch?

 

Yeah, she's basically "Ozark" meets "Breaking Bad."    This could get interesting.

Having to take the golf cart to go smoke weed with the cows has been about as rough as it’s gotten this year.

I took the mule to smoke with the cows...all is well.


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3 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

She’s in 7th grade dude...

I'd say I'll ask you in 5 years, but this website will probably have gone through 3 more iterations by then.

6 hours ago, Surlymermaid said:


I took the mule to smoke with the cows...all is well.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

She caught the Katy and left me a mule to ride. 

13 hours ago, chesthair said:

I want deaths sweet release right FUCKING NOW!

i have managed to avoid the hillbillys for 2 days but i'll be fucked if they didnt decide to sit down and watch "the football championship bowl game thingy".  One 80 year old hillybilly (MIL), the SIL who i want to fucking murder (know it all who has a PhD but teaches high school chemistry in fountain lake arkansas...good use of that education you cunt).  throw my wife in the mix who is the most wonderful person in the world....until her family comes to town.

they have asked "will they turn on the mercy rule?", "can we flip it over to lifetime since this game is no good?", "turn down the volume", "we are hungry, are you going to cook prime rib again tonight? (cause the one last night wasnt enough i guess)".

oh, the mercy rule conversation turned into me grabbing a knife.  SIL-cunt, argued that in arkansas once a team is up by 30 points they stop the game and that its a "national rule" to stop games when one team is up by 30.

 

heading to the patio for another beer to wash down the burbon.

" No, Hon, the mercy rule is for your mouth...now put a sock in it.  Nobody GAF about Arkansas."

or you could always go with, " You're the dumbest smart person I know..."

The dumb questions, or possibly even the visits will be on the wane soon if you employ such tactics.

Edited by Iceman

they are leaving...i started grabbing bags and taking them to the car.  wife said "slow down, we are going to eat breakfast"...i let them know traffic would be horrible if they dont leave now.  

12 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

She’s in 7th grade dude...

And she's already had a train run on her?

88329253501cb0581e64349622fbb9d6f97bf08b

2 minutes ago, luke duke said:

And she's already had a train run on her?

88329253501cb0581e64349622fbb9d6f97bf08b

7th grade has a football team...

On 12/28/2019 at 10:09 AM, Jameslaw121 said:

Can I pause to brag about my daughter? Most of yall know she was a sergeant in the Army. She's out now and going to college. Lives in an apartment about a mile away from me. Sometime around Thanksgiving I notice she was driving her girlfriends car and I asked what was wrong with her truck. She said she needed the break pads replaced. I didn't really give it another thought.

Fast forward to the week before Christmas. I called to see if I could borrow her truck to move a table. She said her truck had no breaks right now and she was saving up to get them fixed.I asked how she was getting to work. She was walking. I told her she could just borrow my suv (I have a work van so I wouldn't be out of a vehicle). She said she was fine walking. I told her I would pay for the breaks. She told me no.

Finally after an hour of arguing I convinced her let me pay for any over what she had saved up. 

I sure as hell wasn't that mature at 23.

 

I know a way she can earn $20.

6 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

7th grade has a football team...

Yes,  Tanner Boyle even fought them. 

On 12/28/2019 at 10:09 AM, Jameslaw121 said:

Can I pause to brag about my daughter? Most of yall know she was a sergeant in the Army. She's out now and going to college. Lives in an apartment about a mile away from me. Sometime around Thanksgiving I notice she was driving her girlfriends car and I asked what was wrong with her truck. She said she needed the break pads replaced. I didn't really give it another thought.

Fast forward to the week before Christmas. I called to see if I could borrow her truck to move a table. She said her truck had no breaks right now and she was saving up to get them fixed.I asked how she was getting to work. She was walking. I told her she could just borrow my suv (I have a work van so I wouldn't be out of a vehicle). She said she was fine walking. I told her I would pay for the breaks. She told me no.

Finally after an hour of arguing I convinced her let me pay for any over what she had saved up. 

I sure as hell wasn't that mature at 23.

 

Them's the brakes

I'd like to apologize, after a lot of neg rep and self-reflection for my hasty posts in which I bitched about family holiday drama on the "bitching about family holiday drama" thread.  It wasn't so much what I said, but how I said it...my tone...if you will.  I hear that a lot...from women with low self-esteem and a handful of surly posters.  So this hits close to home.  

Levity aside, safe travels to y'all coming back from the front.  This thread is a wonderfully cathartic release.  What the hell did our grandfathers do back in the day?  Happy New year!

Edited by Lobo

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

I'd like to apologize, after a lot of neg rep and self-reflection for my hasty posts in which I bitched about family holiday drama on the "bitching about family holiday drama" thread.  It wasn't so much what I said, but how I said it...my tone...if you will.  I hear that a lot...from women with low self-esteem and a handful of surly posters.  So this hits close to home.  

Levity aside, safe travels to y'all coming back from the front.  This thread is a wonderfully cathartic release.  What the hell did our grandfathers do back in the day?  Happy New year!

They left to go to war.  

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