Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (â‹®) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

3 hours ago, ulukinatme said:

Those that fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it.  Maybe he should consult Paul Batrice for legal advice.

r_5E6DrFZUX_KuJ1IABKe_ctlyfmc4DvPJYvamCm

Damn, looks like the Batrice thread on the old board was deleted.

I'm fairly certain his name is Paul Beatrice and he should be addressed as such.

  • Replies 9.6k
  • Views 1.3m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

Posted Images

Do the commitment videos he creates for recruits for free count as a recruiting violations? Or the free subscriptions he gave to them for his shitty Facebook business?  Does he have to register as a sex offender/pervert for harassing Steven Parker, a high school kid, into a bathroom? Can we report him to the IRS for his fake fb business where I’m sure he didn’t report his taxes on?
 



Yes to all the above.

Let’s do it. Get a list of his booster dirtiness and I’ll call the ncaa on monday.

Can we report him for the unreported cash tips he gets at the glory hole in stall #2

1 hour ago, Leanderman said:

Can we report him for the unreported cash tips he gets at the glory hole in stall #2

Do you really think he’d be good enough at anything (even sucking dick) to where he’d be tipped??

1 hour ago, EZ$ said:

Do you really think he’d be good enough at anything (even sucking dick) to where he’d be tipped??

I'm pretty sure he takes more than just the tips.

10 hours ago, Leanderman said:

Can we report him for the unreported cash tips he gets at the glory hole in stall #2

depends, how much have you tipped him?

I expect Hamm to work as a stewardess at Frontier next. They accept gratuities now. 

Hamm has broken every one of these
As a booster, you may not:
Contact a prospect in-person on-campus or off campus.
Contact a prospect by telephone, email, Internet or letter.
Provide gifts or free or reduced-cost services to a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian.
Employ relatives, guardians or friends of a prospect as an inducement for the prospect’s enrollment and athletics participation at a university.
Become directly or indirectly involved in making arrangements for a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian to receive money or financial aid of any kind.
Provide transportation for a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian.
Provide free or reduced-cost tickets for a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian to attend an athletic event.
Provide any material benefit (e.g., meals, cash) to the coach of a prospect, including high school, two-year college, AAU and summer team coaches.
A lawyer buddy who isnt even signed up but lurks and is texas law said this will end very badly for him, as far as his association with the school goes. Apparently they would shun him from everything because of violations. I say let it ride.
4 hours ago, maninblack said:

This event must be a humdinger
7ec6788f8ccd4263197fe85f6ff11e86.jpg

As what, a boot black?

 

/nohammracist

Hey nerds, the entire SEC is outwardly paying for recruits and the NCAA doesn’t care. They’re certainly not gonna care about minor recruiting violations by a broke-ass uncredentialed pool boy. There is nothing he could do that would result in a sanction of any kind.

I bet the only reason they invited hamm was to provide valet parking?

uh-   thats a bold invite considering its sponsored by Adidas.

"formal attire is strongly recommended" ?

I was almost positive Adidas didnt have a formal line, so  i googled adidas formal attire and all i got were about 50 google images of hippies dressed down:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adidas+formal+attire&client=firefox-b-1&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi7hf2F_OXfAhUEF6wKHVt_ADYQsAR6BAgDEAE&biw=1920&bih=944

 

so yeah, they dont have a formal line but strongly suggest you wear formal clothes for this event as a media pass?

14 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

uh-   thats a bold invite considering its sponsored by Adidas.

"formal attire is strongly recommended" ?

I was almost positive Adidas didnt have a formal line, so  i googled adidas formal attire and all i got were about 50 google images of hippies dressed down:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adidas+formal+attire&client=firefox-b-1&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi7hf2F_OXfAhUEF6wKHVt_ADYQsAR6BAgDEAE&biw=1920&bih=944

 

so yeah, they dont have a formal line but strongly suggest you wear formal clothes for this event as a media pass?

Bro, this is a RED CARPET event for a high school 7 on 7 team. There will be media there wearing bow ties. This is a big fucking deal. Please give this event the respect that it deserves.

 

 

 

Seriously - read that. A formal red carpet event for an offseason high school football workout club. Media in tuxedos. This is a real thing that's happening. What kind of fucking wold do we live in now? 

Part of me hopes that this is an elaborate prank that someone is playing on six figs to get him to dress up in an tuxedo thinking he's a big shot media guy and there will be a bunch of Nelson Muntzes there pointing and laughing.

Edited by irishtexan

14 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

uh-   thats a bold invite considering its sponsored by Adidas.

"formal attire is strongly recommended" ?

I was almost positive Adidas didnt have a formal line, so  i googled adidas formal attire and all i got were about 50 google images of hippies dressed down:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adidas+formal+attire&client=firefox-b-1&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi7hf2F_OXfAhUEF6wKHVt_ADYQsAR6BAgDEAE&biw=1920&bih=944

 

so yeah, they dont have a formal line but strongly suggest you wear formal clothes for this event as a media pass?

Shows what you know:

A+vedding+tell+sergei+to+put+on+best+tra

32 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Bro, this is a RED CARPET event for a high school 7 on 7 team. There will be media there wearing bow ties. This is a big fucking deal. Please give this event the respect that it deserves.

 Seriously - read that. A formal red carpet event for an offseason high school football workout club. Media in tuxedos. This is a real thing that's happening. What kind of fucking wold do we live in now? 

Part of me hopes that this is an elaborate prank that someone is playing on six figs to get him to dress up in an tuxedo thinking he's a big shot media guy and there will be a bunch of Nelson Muntzes there pointing and laughing.

It's going to cost that butt-huffing leprechaun $250 to rent a tux and he's going to show up and start immediately barking about the next level nature of an atm degree and why Bilbo Aggins has the best smelling ballsack in the entire Brazos River valley. I guess if he can wear a kid's tuxedo, it will only cost like $150 at Al's, which is probably his angle.

14 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:

Who is the surly paparazzi that will be in attendance?

Hamm, David Garvin, Dave South, Max Emfinger, Ed Brandon, and Jessica Savitch have all already RSVP'd. This is a big fucking deal.

2 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Bilbo Aggins has the best smelling ballsack in the entire Brazos River valley

That's an extremely low bar.

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

It's going to cost that butt-huffing leprechaun $250 to rent a tux and he's going to show up and start immediately barking about the next level nature of an atm degree and why Bilbo Aggins has the best smelling ballsack in the entire Brazos River valley. I guess if he can wear a kid's tuxedo, it will only cost like $150 at Al's, which is probably his angle.

Hamm, David Garvin, Dave South, Max Emfinger, Ed Brandon, and Jessica Savitch have all already RSVP'd. This is a big fucking deal.

Kurt Bohls will emcee the event. Cedric Golden is the maitre d. 

 
2 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

That's an extremely low bar.

Well, look, you're the reigning ballsack sniffing champion of Harris County, so of course you'd look down on someone like Hamm, who's relegated to a ball snorting backwater like Bryan/College Station, but he's apparently a big deal to the folks out that way. Walden Ponderer has ranted about it multiple times.

1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

Well, look, you're the reigning ballsack sniffing champion of Harris County, so of course you'd look down on someone like Hamm, who's relegated to a ball snorting backwater like Bryan/College Station, but he's apparently a big deal to the folks out that way. Walden Ponderer has ranted about it multiple times.

giphy.gif

7 hours ago, maninblack said:

This event must be a humdinger
7ec6788f8ccd4263197fe85f6ff11e86.jpg

I'd imagine something like this should fit Taylor well and suit him for the occasion.

51ixiZMgBTL._UY550_.jpg

2 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

I'd imagine something like this should fit Taylor well and suit him for the occasion.

51ixiZMgBTL._UY550_.jpg

CharmingDownrightGorilla-size_restricted

 

Hamm reported the parody Toilet Smurf Twitter account and got it suspended. So unemployment seems to be going great for him.

1 minute ago, texifornia said:

Hamm reported the parody Toilet Smurf Twitter account and got it suspended. So unemployment seems to be going great for him.

I'm amazed he was successful in doing that. As in I don't believe it. I can't even imagine what grounds he'd have unless that account was spamming child porn or using his name. 

2 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Hamm reported the parody Toilet Smurf Twitter account and got it suspended. So unemployment seems to be going great for him.

What about the real Toilet Smurf account?

45 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

[H]e's apparently a big deal to the folks out that way. Walden Ponderer has ranted about it multiple times.

Well, that may be a bit of an overstatement. To be honest, there's only one place where he is actually big in any sense of the word.

10222_main.jpg?1521599039

I don't think I've ever looked at that account other than what is linked here but having it blocked/removed is some incredibly petty shit. Like it's WAY worse that he got his little feelings hurt and took action against a fucking parody account. Just fucking ignore it, FFS. Hamm gonna Hamm though. 

giphy.gif

 

54 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

giphy.gif

Indian kids win that competition all the time, it must be cultural

the ball-sniffing one, I mean

I am surprised someone hasn't reported him to Facebook for trying to monetize his follows. I thought that was against their rules. I know none of us wants to lose the valuable entertainment his tweets provide, but I figured some concerned aggy would have done the deed by now.

I hope someone has made a backup of the Shag for when it finally bites the dust. There's too much gold there re:Hamm to be lost

6 minutes ago, satyanash said:

I hope someone has made a backup of the Shag for when it finally bites the dust. There's too much gold there re:Hamm to be lost

So I assume the sno cone hut guy got a cease and desist letter too?

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

I'm amazed he was successful in doing that. As in I don't believe it. I can't even imagine what grounds he'd have unless that account was spamming child porn or using his name. 

Toilet Smurf should report Taylor Hamm for being a parody account. 

I cannot wait when they announce a remake of the TV Show "Fantasy Island", Hamm in the bell tower would be priceless.

4 hours ago, satyanash said:

I hope someone has made a backup of the Shag for when it finally bites the dust. There's too much gold there re:Hamm to be lost

I had rather assumed it closed down circa 4/1/18. I just looked over there, and there seem to be two posters starting and conducting all the threads on the football board. There are long stretches of TexasWolf soliloquies alternating with TexasWolf soliloquies. Their advertisers must really like trying to sell hair gel and male hormone boosting diet supplements to TexasWolf and 8badmofo31.

Does Red Carpet mean they're shaving all of Hamm's cunt hair off and gluing it down to make a rug?

1 minute ago, SizzleChest said:

Does Red Carpet mean they're shaving all of Hamm's cunt hair off and gluing it down to make a rug?

A rug that will really tie the room together.

latest?cb=20111216185009

8 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Well, that may be a bit of an overstatement. To be honest, there's only one place where he is actually big in any sense of the word.

10222_main.jpg?1521599039

1361183539m_SPLASH.jpg&f=1

On 1/10/2019 at 8:53 AM, Leanderman said:

Can we report him for the unreported cash tips he gets at the glory hole in stall #2

He kept getting the shaft and it broke him.   

A title loan on his '05 Tahoe is the only thing protecting his  assets from forfeiture.  

6 hours ago, texifornia said:

I can't believe some other reporter beat Hamm to this:

 

Holy shit this is great

Would that be the nail in the coffin if A&M did that to Hamm?  

Would that be the nail in the coffin if A&M did that to Hamm?  

No, he would just spin it as him being so influential that A&M had to release an official statement to keep the NCAA happy.

 

A&M basically did that already without the letter. He has ruined so many recruitments they had to do it. 

The trainers coaches are the only people left who let him near recruits, and they need him to post on Twitter what they feed him. He has a ton of followers. 

He is basically the mouthpiece for them 

22 hours ago, Katfid54 said:

giphy.gif

That kid was such a fucking badass. Best celebration ever. 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.