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Any of you assholes having any of that secret santa mickey mouse horseshit at your office?

Busybody with no life at my office wants to do one that encompasses five (!) gifts over five days. Another busy body with no life wants to do a cookie exchange, where everybody brings 2 dozen homemade christmas cookies, we have a cookie tasting party, everybody votes, and best cookies wins some sort of prize.

 

 

It is rampant among every department at my office, but luckily the rest of the IT staff are assholes like me. We don't decorate or even recognize the bullshit holiday.

This post reminds me that I need to post up my annual hate rant. 

Secret Santas are discriminatory, racist, misogynistic, colonialist, imperialist, sexist, ableist, classist, capitalist, fascist, and methodist.

I have been the Back Door Santa for neighborhood women in the past.  It was a secret.  Is that the same thing?

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Busybody with no life at my office wants to do one that encompasses five (!) gifts over five days

I would give her one gift.  A punch in the cunt.

1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

It is rampant among every department at my office, but luckily the rest of the IT staff are assholes like me. We don't decorate or even recognize the bullshit holiday.

This post reminds me that I need to post up my annual hate rant. 

Is that you, Frank?

 

Other than sending my mother and disabled sister  gifts and cash at Christmas, I have never under adult’s fascination with expanding gifts with other adults.  Is it some bizarre humblebrag deal?

 

Give some anal lube, somehow someway someone is gonna get screwed during the holidays.

4 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Any of you assholes having any of that secret santa mickey mouse horseshit at your office?

Busybody with no life at my office wants to do one that encompasses five (!) gifts over five days. Another busy body with no life wants to do a cookie exchange, where everybody brings 2 dozen homemade christmas cookies, we have a cookie tasting party, everybody votes, and best cookies wins some sort of prize.

 

 

I usually organize it but I’m currently in India and then leaving my job on the 13th so fuck them all 

5 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

Secret Santas are discriminatory, racist, misogynistic, colonialist, imperialist, sexist, ableist, classist, capitalist, fascist, and methodist.

blazing saddles GIF

7 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

It is rampant among every department at my office, but luckily the rest of the IT staff are assholes like me. We don't decorate or even recognize the bullshit holiday.

This post reminds me that I need to post up my annual hate rant. 

I can't wait. The Puritans were right.

15 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

5 fucking gifts ?

is she fucking crazy ?

Does she have tits? I’m asking you... does she?!?!

only secret santa i ever enjoyed was at my last job (just retired 2 months ago) and we did it among our management team, only 8 of us, offsite, usually with booze, $25 limit and the goal was to make it as funny/inappropriate as possible. then we'd vote on the 'best' gift and there'd be a prize (usually a bottle of something).

i won last year - my gift was a Squatty Potty.

 

I had a friend who received a live mouse as a white elephant gift.  Kind of funny, but pretty shitty thing to do all things considered.

people didn't understand what "white elephant" means and i got an OG gameboy, which was awesome

I do this once yearly at my buddy's house - we eat chili or gumbo, watch UFC, and do the white elephant exchange.

Buddy is a defense lawyer, but since it's a small town the party is attended by a few cops and judges that are old friends.

The best gift I've seen is a portable breathalyzer machine.

Edited by BearSchlong

19 hours ago, Lobo said:

Other than sending my mother and disabled sister  gifts and cash at Christmas, I have never under adult’s fascination with expanding gifts with other adults.  Is it some bizarre humblebrag deal?

 

No clue, but I'm in agreement with you.

It's not that work colleagues can't be friends, but I like to work at work and beyond basic socializing, prefer to get the job finished and do the socializing elsewhere. I have participated by giving funds towards custodial staff at special times, retirement presents, that kind of thing.

The shagster that made the lady cry because she opened his framed personal glamour shot still wins the prize. Will be hard to top that

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I give my folks collectibles that will come back to me at several times their market value after they die.

Any day now, those beanie babies are gonna be worth 10s of dollars!!

On 12/5/2019 at 3:44 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

Busybody with no life at my office wants to do one that encompasses five (!) gifts over five days.

I'd say she sounds the opposite of busy.  Who the fuck has time at work to arrange this shit?  She should be fired with extreme prejudice

On 12/5/2019 at 6:32 PM, Liquor and Poker said:

I have been the Back Door Santa for neighborhood women in the past.  It was a secret.  Is that the same thing?

 

On 12/5/2019 at 9:02 PM, Bevo&Pevo said:

Give some anal lube, somehow someway someone is gonna get screwed during the holidays.

So getting pegged & lube are the surly recommendations {thumbs up}

  • 2 weeks later...

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