Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Dallas Cowboys 2020 Offseason Thread -- 25th Anniversary of Mediocrity

Featured Replies

That would be the most Jerry hire ever.

  • Replies 4.1k
  • Views 293k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

Posted Images

The fucker's contract is running out. There doesn't have to be some grand announcement and press conference of a firing. Just put out a statement to the press saying Garrett's contract will not be renewed and they are currently in search for a new coaching staff. 

These arky fucksticks could fuck up the simplest of things. 

25 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

My sources say Garrett will be allowed to wrap up his work tomorrow, things like exit interviews, etc.

 

(But my sources are some spare fill-in hosts on The Ticket about 6:30 tonite, so....)

his work is done...he's been around the franchise for a total of  20 fucking years or something, made millions of dollars got a super bowl ring and now he failed at his job ...it ain't sad ...get the fuck out ,...exit interviews? fuck my life 

that shit ass arkansas hillbilly can't even fire a coach right ....

it's such a fucked up franchise from top to bottom they don't do one thing like a normal NFL team .....

giphy.gif

 

This delay is one big "I'm going to do things my way" fuck you to the fans, media, etc.  That or the dumbfuck is really thinking about how he packages keeping him around.  Because unless it is the "fuck you" there is no other logical reason for the delay (to the point above about making a simple announcement of non-renewal and a coaching search for the new guy is under way) . 

Edited by Surly Bevo

Just now, Vic Mackey said:

Go fuck yourself you old senile dumb fucking bitch

 

No shit Vic, plenty of people step down and "fire" themselves when they realize they no longer have it. Whatever "it" happens to be, talent, desire, time, etc.  Newsflash Jerry you fucking suck.

21 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Go fuck yourself you old senile dumb fucking bitch

 

That quote from Jerry sums it all up pretty nicely.

Im glad I figured it out several years ago and just stopped caring. I’ll start giving a shit again when Jerry ain’t the GM. Not holding my breath.

Look boss. I might do better. If I can. Otherwise, you can’t fire me anyway, so whatevs.

Quote

you go do it better if you can.

but he can't do any better.

Quote

You don’t fire yourself.

yes, you do. Lots of business owners fire themselves and hire someone else to run their business. It's pretty common.

Ha. He’s just going to trade one puppet for a new one. He’s convinced he’s always just one _____ away from that “gloryhole”. Every other GM on the planet gets fired for this much mediocrity. But not when the Jones clan are in charge. I’ve said before, this franchise goes nowhere until Jerry is no longer with us. We are the NFC version of the Oakland Raiders with a better stadium.

Edited by mdmost

“Hey Jimmy, please respond to my text.  How the hell did you make it look so easy to cut players all the time? I haven’t a clue how to do this...”

4 minutes ago, mdmost said:

 with a better stadium.

Not for long...

go ahead and just bring that red headed fuckstick back to spite everyone..... he wants to sooooooo bad 

1 hour ago, Surly Bevo said:

No shit Vic, plenty of people step down and "fire" themselves when they realize they no longer have it. Whatever "it" happens to be, talent, desire, time, etc.  Newsflash Jerry you fucking suck.

As I have repeatedly stated, Jerry doesn’t have a winning organization for the simple reason Jerry isn’t willing to do everything in his power to win. Winning doesn’t mean enough to him. If he truly was willing to do everything in his power, he would fire himself. 

he has to be trolling at this point. you can be dumb and still make money.

1 hour ago, Surly Bevo said:

No shit Vic, plenty of people step down and "fire" themselves when they realize they no longer have it. Whatever "it" happens to be, talent, desire, time, etc.  Newsflash Jerry you fucking suck.

As I have repeatedly stated, Jerry doesn’t have a winning organization for the simple reason Jerry isn’t willing to do everything in his power to win. Winning doesn’t mean enough to him. If he truly was willing to do everything in his power, he would fire himself. 

If the eagles had lost and Garrett backdoored his way into the playoffs no way Jones fires his ass. Hell he's trying to figure out a way to weasel out of firing him now. Cowboys fans need to take a page from redskins fans. Their faans are awesome and just stopped showing up to the point tickets to regular season games were selling for like $6. Do that shit to Jerry and shit would change really fast. Cowboys fans aren't that smart though. 

If the tickets are selling for 6 dollars that means they are in the secondary market and Danny has his money.

Unfortunately corporate entertainment is what pays a big part of the bills at Jerryworld and that isn’t going anywhere. Fans have to stop buying gear stop watching to drive ratings down, eschew any place that partners with Jerry turn off media that spends too much time on the Cowboys blah blah blah and if that hasn’t already happened it never will. people love a fucking soap opera.

jerry doesn't care about ticket sales to Dallas fans because half the building is the opposing teams fans at this point.  

4 hours ago, Randolph Duke said:

As I have repeatedly stated, Jerry doesn’t have a winning organization for the simple reason Jerry isn’t willing to do everything in his power to win. Winning doesn’t mean enough to him. If he truly was willing to do everything in his power, he would fire himself. 

This is the unfortunate truth. As long as that bottom line results in the most valuable sports franchise on the planet, why the fuck would Jerry fire himself. 

Jerrah gonna hire Urban Meyer.  He finally realizes the only successful coaching hires he ever made were Jimmy and Switzer, so why not recreate the situation.  Given the other candidates out there (or lack thereof), the fact that Urban is basically Jimmy/Switzer 3.0 and sitting there available, and that Urban has straight up already said that if the Cowboys come calling, you take that job all day...this is seems like a no-brainer.  May already be done. 

All of the "Jerry hasn't don it yet, and he's fucking with us" posts are making me laugh.

1) as if the motherfucker has ever done things on the schedule of the fans

2) as if it makes a difference as to who replaces Garrett

3) as if some earth-shattering announcement is coming... nothing short of Jerry announcing new head coach will have GM responsibilities and a guaranteed 5 year contract  is going to mean anything significant is changing

Maybe Garrett is just being reassigned within the athletic department.

He will be placed in charge of alumni relations and ordering hot dogs.

1 hour ago, Landomatic said:

Jerrah gonna hire Urban Meyer.  He finally realizes the only successful coaching hires he ever made were Jimmy and Switzer, so why not recreate the situation.  Given the other candidates out there (or lack thereof), the fact that Urban is basically Jimmy/Switzer 3.0 and sitting there available, and that Urban has straight up already said that if the Cowboys come calling, you take that job all day...this is seems like a no-brainer.  May already be done. 

wtf? I could have coached that team to a win. and I was 13 at the time.

Clappy should be saying his goodbyes right about now. Word should reach the street as soon as the first player gets to his cell phone.

26 minutes ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Clappy should be saying his goodbyes right about now. Word should reach the street as soon as the first player gets to his cell phone.

Meeting with the team at noon. 

Exchanging info to keep in touch? How do they not already have that stuff?

Jane Slater is 100 percent useless without her hotness. She just thought "what would I do if I was about to leave the company" and attributed it to Garrett. Everyone there already had his number. 

  • Author

I don't really care if they give Garrett a day to say his goodbyes out of respect, but we better be already on the hunt for a new HC with back channeling.  We should be lining up interviews with Riley, Rhule, and whoever else we want to talk to.

"After self evaluation I uhhhh realized that... in previous years I would have fired the head football coach after uhhhhh... a season this disappointing. Therefore uhhhh.... I have decided to give Jason Garrett a 3 year extension to remain head football coach". 

jerrah GIF by SB Nation

1 hour ago, Patrick Bateman said:

we better be already on the hunt for a new HC with back channeling.  We should be lining up interviews with Riley, Rhule, and whoever else we want to talk to.

Rhule's name hasn't even been mentioned because the first thing he said was "full control - all or none".  The Browns publicly made him say no, and now the Browns as of this minute look like they are going to ditch their GM.

No doubt Stephen is calling agents... "will your client work for our current GM?"

Rhule's agent clearly said no fucking way.

Until others are named and decline, their agent's response ipso facto has been and is "what does that mean?"

Until clappy is announced as gone my take is clappy is insurance against Joneses landing a big name "willing to work with the current GM".

  • Author
27 minutes ago, Hagbard Celine said:

Rhule's name hasn't even been mentioned because the first thing he said was "full control - all or none".  The Browns publicly made him say no, and now the Browns as of this minute look like they are going to ditch their GM.

No doubt Stephen is calling agents... "will your client work for our current GM?"

Rhule's agent clearly said no fucking way.

Until others are named and decline, their agent's response ipso facto has been and is "what does that mean?"

Until clappy is announced as gone my take is clappy is insurance against Joneses landing a big name "willing to work with the current GM".

Rhule isn't getting full control in New York with Gettleman staying on but is interviewing with them.  And the Browns are in the midst of a power struggle between two guys who want the GM position and it looks like Dorsey will lose and DePodesta will be the full decision maker.  Not sure if the narrative about him needing full control is bluster, cover, or just misinterpreted.  I don't necessarily think he'll be the next coach of the Cowboys, but I think his agent certainly takes the call and we get an interview, if nothing more to drive up his price.

I knew Roman would get some burn for job openings, but we don't have Lamar Jackson on this roster.  Should/Could Dak's legs be used a little more?  Sure, but nothing like what the Ravens do.  The offense doesn't need to be overhauled, it probably just needs to be tweaked.  Special Teams needs to be overhauled.

 

Edited by Patrick Bateman

17 hours ago, Deej said:

We're getting Jeff Fisher, aren't we?

Deej, I've always like you until now.  Don't be spreading the bad Karma.

Edited by Bullneck

1 minute ago, Patrick Bateman said:

Rhule isn't getting full control in New York with Gettleman staying on but is interviewing with them.  And the Browns are in the midst of a power struggle between two guys who want the GM position and it looks like Dorsey will lose an DePodesta will be the full decision maker.  Not sure if the narrative about him needing full control is bluster, cover, or just misinterpreted.  I don't necessarily think he'll be the next coach of the Cowboys, but I think his agent certainly takes the call and we get an interview, if nothing more to drive up his price.

I knew Roman would get some burn for job openings, but we don't have Lamar Jackson on this roster.  Should/Could Dak's legs be used a little more?  Sure, but nothing like what the Ravens do.  The offense doesn't need to be overhauled, it probably just needs to be tweaked.  Special Teams needs to be overhauled.

 

Rhule doesn't want GM control, he just wouldn't want to work with Jerry.  That's the point of the fictional play you quoted.

The old arky fuckstick was on the radio saying the problem with college coaches is their busiest workday is Sunday so they don't watch any NFL and know nothing of NFL personnel. So they take at least a year to get up to speed at NFL level which is why Jimmy went 1-15 year one. Does it mean he's not going with a college coach? Who knows. He's a moron  

2 minutes ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Rhule doesn't want GM control, he just wouldn't want to work with Jerry.  That's the point of the fictional play you quoted.

Amazingly he apparently wants full control over his own roster to actually choose who plays and who doesn't. The nerve of some people. 

4 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Thumbs up their asses....thumbs up their asses

schechter/espn:

FAMILY.  FAMILY.

FAMILY.

stop confusing us with facts.

FAMILY.

Jerrah hiring Jeff Fisher would be the ultimate troll move.

4 minutes ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Rhule doesn't want GM control, he just wouldn't want to work with Jerry.  That's the point of the fictional play you quoted.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe why haven't we heard the names connected?  It's the best possible choice other than Dabo or Belichick (in my opinion).

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.