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Dallas Cowboys 2020 Offseason Thread -- 25th Anniversary of Mediocrity

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35 minutes ago, Radical Larry said:

Garrett's being reassigned to clean Jerry's glasses in the booth.

It’s either this or wiping Chris Christie’s ass when he’s in the box with Jerry. 

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1 hour ago, miguelito said:

I would've guessed Garrett would go for 3 kids, but not 7.

I would've guessed 1.7 kids (below average)

I would have guessed he just had the clap all the time...

33 minutes ago, Iceman said:

I would have guessed he just had the clap all the time...

I could see him in the room while his wife is delivering just clapping away 

Jason Garrett allowing himself to get patronized like this shows just how big a fucking pussy he is.  

2 hours ago, Beer Horn said:

IMO

JJ is waiting til Wash/NYG to hire before  pulling the trigger. Don’t know if he offers a front office job. He doesn’t  want to have to face him twice  a year and be proven possibly that JJ is the prob if JG is successful  

best new theory in 24 hours.

#1 root cause of the overall problem is skeletor delusion ego.

glove fits.

2 hours ago, MrBig said:

It’s either this or wiping Chris Christie’s ass when he’s in the box with Jerry. 

i've been thinking all day, the best job for clappy to stay in the family, would be luxury suite coordinator.

4 hours ago, Dr Fear said:
4 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:
Ginger doesn't have kids....

7 siblings and no kids? #RedFlag

He had no dick, of course he can’t have kids.

2 hours ago, Beer Horn said:

IMO

JJ is waiting til Wash/NYG to hire before  pulling the trigger. Don’t know if he offers a front office job. He doesn’t  want to have to face him twice  a year and be proven possibly that JJ is the prob if JG is successful  

I saw this theory on the twitter handle black Adam shefter, and it was supposed to be a joke, but it actually kinda makes sense lol. Garrett going to the giants with a young nucleus and having success would be Jerry’s worst nightmare. I bet that’s why the giants wait to hire someone so they can at least get an interview with Garrett and compare him to their other candidates. There was a lot of smoke with Gettleman liking Garrett. 

3 minutes ago, youdunnf'dup said:

I saw this theory on the twitter handle black Adam shefter, and it was supposed to be a joke, but it actually kinda makes sense lol. Garrett going to the giants with a young nucleus and having success would be Jerry’s worst nightmare. I bet that’s why the giants wait to hire someone so they can at least get an interview with Garrett and compare him to their other candidates. There was a lot of smoke with Gettleman liking Garrett. 

It’s like wanting to break up with your girlfriend. But not wanting anyone else to have her

Jerry just working a few extra bj's out of Ginger before he cut him loose.

So I guess Jane Slater pissed in JJs Cheerios or something? Interesting. 

10 minutes ago, Beer Horn said:

It’s like wanting to break up with your girlfriend. But not wanting anyone else to have her

More like not wanting your ex girlfriend to date two of the people you hate more than anyone in the world when you’re still legitimately in love with her. Because Jerry is still in love with Garrett lol. He just knows it isn’t going to work. 

9 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

So I guess Jane Slater pissed in JJs Cheerios or something? Interesting. 

Jerry always came across to me as a Fruit Loops kinda man. 

Dateline Dec 2020: The Cowboys season came to a disappointing end today with the on-field death of quarterback Lamar Jackson (brain-stem). Following last season's blockbuster trade with the Ravens that brought HC Greg Roman and Jackson to the Cowboys, the team was expected to go deep into the playoffs. Unfortunately, GM Jason Garrett's new silk turf experiment proved deadly, resulting in ligament damage to thirteen starters in addition....

 

 

Edited by Irish Wrist Watch

Lincoln Riley......COME ON DOWN!!!  You’re the next contestant.....

30 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

So I guess Jane Slater pissed in JJs Cheerios or something? Interesting. 

Jane's rep around west campus was not bdsm or kink.

1 hour ago, Surly Bevo said:

Jason Garrett allowing himself to get patronized like this shows just how big a fucking pussy he is.  

JFC, this. 

23 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Also be funny if just Ed Werder trying to move the story along.

That would be a genius move. 

30 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Jerry always came across to me as a Fruit Loops kinda man. 

Don't you dare denigrate Fruit Loops that way.  

not sure why it took 4 days. it was obvious he wasnt gonna be the coach anymore.

 

the problem is, who do you hire and can someone kidnap Jerry and lock him in a fucking room without internet or phone for a year so the team has a chance to suceed without him claiming credit for every positive and blaming everyone else anytime there is a negative. 

Dan Mullen?  JFC.  I get the Dak connection but come the fuck on.  

Dan Mullen?  JFC.  I get the Dak connection but come the fuck on.  


Yeah, Mullen doesn’t excite me at all.
4 hours ago, miguelito said:

I would've guessed Garrett would go for 3 kids, but not 7.

he punted on having kids.

8 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Dan Mullen?  JFC.  I get the Dak connection but come the fuck on.  

I remember when Jerry offered the head coaching job to Terry Donahue because he was Aikman's coach in college .....so don't doubt anything that old hillbilly fucker will do 

I meant to throw mullin’s name out there early this week as a gag but forgot. Then I see his name mentioned legitimately. What an embarrassment that would be. 

I'd be tempted to give Chip Kelly a call before Dan Mullen.  

3 minutes ago, Underdog said:

I'd be tempted to give Chip Kelly a call before Dan Mullen.  

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4 minutes ago, Underdog said:

I'd be tempted to give Chip Kelly a call before Dan Mullen.  

Enjoy Jim Harbaugh 

I do actually think Dan Mullen is a good coach, and I wanted him to coach Texas pretty bad when we were looking for a coach after strong. But yeah, no thanks. 

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