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^

I'm not one for snooty tasting notes, but that's a pretty shitty sales pitch right there:  "We emphasize the wine’s fruit and acidity rather than alcohol and tannins" and "broad range of palates making it the perfect table wine."  That sounds like the tasting card below the wines of Walgreen's.  Nothing wrong with that, the world guzzles down cheap, fruity wine by the gallon everyday.  But don't call it "hand-crafted Premium California" wine and then follow up with that garbage "value-add" sales pitch.  If you're gonna be cheap, fruity wine for the Trumper masses, embrace it.  And for a $50 donation, of which about $45 is gonna end up in Trump's pocket, I deserve a decent wine and a nice buzz.  

Yet another missed Surly money opportunity.  We should have done Freedom Wine.  We could at least add a white or a rose' to the mix.  

I've already taken the liberty of developing our tasting notes for the sales pitch,

"Our new Trump White is Superior in every way to Old World wines.  With a balance of acid and vitriol, it has strong notes of Freedom and stone fruit.  Trump White makes for an excellent pairing with over-cooked meats, starches, maybe some vegetables, and is the wine of choice for rally tailgates.  Trump White demonstrates Supremacy over other winemakers as the grapes are picked exclusively by natural-born citizens who are not swayed by seasonal labor trends.  For that reason, Trump White is harvested and bottled in April despite overwhelming natural indicators to the contrary.  We guarantee this wine will add much needed refinement to your typical bottled rage around the Christmas table.  The award-nominated Trump White has already been selected as the table wine of choice at Chili's, Applebee's, and is the first American wine to be selected by the Olive Garden Master Sommelier/Bulk Purchase Manager.  We know you love Freedom, so order now and we will ship you your wine, ready to drink, while you're actively driving your flag-draped pickup over the speed limit.  Not available in Pennsylvania, Georgia, or Arizona.  Trump White...FUCK YEAH!"  

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21 hours ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

 

That is one big ass basket of Deplorables.

and they still fucking lost b/c there are more non-deplorables who give a shit than these sheeple.

48 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

I’m convinced there is a really big block of single issue anti-abortion voters. Like maybe 20MM or more. They turn out, and will vote for satan himself if he says he wants to ban abortion. Until you get a pro choice republican for president those votes are baked in

Probably some truth in it. Nevermind that no modern Republican president is ever going to do more than go through the motions of pretending that he wants to ban abortions nationwide. And probably not even that anymore.

The Republicans have done a damn fine job of making themselves out to be the moral choice for weekly church-goers. It doesn't even register that Trump is, at best, agnostic.

There's also a huge block with a little money that will never vote Democrat for any reason. Liberals want all my taxes and to cripple business. The end. The actual numbers don't matter. 

Then another block that will never vote Democrat because they're tired of being called racist, ignorant, privileged, and condescended to...even if it means voting for a racist, ignorant, extremely privileged, condescending prick. One of the more frustrating aspects of human nature.

Then of course the extremist block who fear socialism and know a Democratic government's sole mission is to take all of their guns.

I'd argue that one that last group is comprised solely of idiots. Add in the electoral college, and it's amazing any Democrat ever wins. Republicans are just way better at marketing.

Edited by aggie08

19 minutes ago, Lobo said:

^

I'm not one for snooty tasting notes, but that's a pretty shitty sales pitch right there:  "We emphasize the wine’s fruit and acidity rather than alcohol and tannins" and "broad range of palates making it the perfect table wine."  That sounds like the tasting card below the wines of Walgreen's.  Nothing wrong with that, the world guzzles down cheap, fruity wine by the gallon everyday.  But don't call it "hand-crafted Premium California" wine and then follow up with that garbage "value-add" sales pitch.  If you're gonna be cheap, fruity wine for the Trumper masses, embrace it.  And for a $50 donation, of which about $45 is gonna end up in Trump's pocket, I deserve a decent wine and a nice buzz.  

Yet another missed Surly money opportunity.  We should have done Freedom Wine.  We could at least add a white or a rose' to the mix.  

I've already taken the liberty of developing our tasting notes for the sales pitch,

"Our new Trump White is Superior in every way to Old World wines.  With a balance of acid and vitriol, it has strong notes of Freedom and stone fruit.  Trump White makes for an excellent pairing with over-cooked meats, starches, maybe some vegetables, and is the wine of choice for rally tailgates.  Trump White demonstrates Supremacy over other winemakers as the grapes are picked exclusively by natural-born citizens who are not swayed by seasonal labor trends.  For that reason, Trump White is harvested and bottled in April despite overwhelming natural indicators to the contrary.  We guarantee this wine will add much needed refinement to your typical bottled rage around the Christmas table.  The award-nominated Trump White has already been selected as the table wine of choice at Chili's, Applebee's, and is the first American wine to be selected by the Olive Garden Master Sommelier/Bulk Purchase Manager.  We know you love Freedom, so order now and we will ship you your wine, ready to drink, while you're actively driving your flag-draped pickup over the speed limit.  Not available in Pennsylvania, Georgia, or Arizona.  Trump White...FUCK YEAH!"  

It tastes like the back of a fucking L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullshit. Fuckin' Raid.

45 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Our California wine pairs well with a broad range of palates making it the perfect table wine.

Conservative wine from California pairs well with a Chinese-made MAGA hat.

It tastes like the back of a fucking L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullshit. Fuckin' Raid.
I think it tastes good.
5 minutes ago, Upgrayedd said:

It tastes like the back of a fucking L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullshit. Fuckin' Raid.

Make America Grapa Again     ???

14 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

I have nowhere else to put this. As if the last four years of Naziesque buffoonery wasn’t enough, now I have to deal with Freedom Wine. And you know that it is some cheap ass stuff stomped out in a meth lab bathtub.

9cb1883b759c045e49f862b3d6c4677b.jpg

Only comes in white amiright

14 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Oh my friend, I have that topped.

https://proudpatriots.com/pages/trump-space-force-2-bill

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  • MADE IN THE USA - By US Workers
  • LEGAL CURRENCY - Certificate of authenticity
  • 30 DAY GUARANTEE - Full Money Back Guarantee
  • MELT SNOWFLAKES - Guaranteed to melt snowflakes

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Special Bonus!

By purchasing today, you get access to our exclusive Trump Dossier! This ebook reveals how Trump's re-election will affect the economy and what stocks you should be considering for extraordinaire returns. 

The 'Space Force' Trump $2 bill includes an authentic U.S. $2 bill with the United States Space Force on the front along with a beautiful Space Force custom design date. Each bill comes with a certificate of authenticity which shows President Trump signing the document which created the Space Force on December 20th, 2019. This entire collection is handsomely showcased in a premium display holder.

That's almost as pretty as Zimbabwe money.

It's like people took the idea that we have batted around a million times here on Surlyhorns ---- "Hey, we need to come up with ideas and products to fleece these Trumpfucks" -----   created items to buy, and is making money from them.   Trumpybear? Trumpy wine?  Holy fuck.  I'm  embarrassed that these simple-minded peasants are so easily conned and we aren't doing it ourselves. 

Edited by Horn Under a Bad Sign

57 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Probably some truth in it. Nevermind that no modern Republican president is ever going to do more than go through the motions of pretending that he wants to ban abortions nationwide. And probably not even that anymore.

The Republicans have done a damn fine job of making themselves out to be the moral choice for weekly church-goers. It doesn't even register that Trump is, at best, agnostic.

There's also a huge block with a little money that will never vote Democrat for any reason. Liberals want all my taxes and to cripple business. The end. The actual numbers don't matter. 

Then another block that will never vote Democrat because they're tired of being called racist, ignorant, privileged, and condescended to...even if it means voting for a racist, ignorant, extremely privileged, condescending prick. One of the more frustrating aspects of human nature.

Then of course the extremist block who fear socialism and know a Democratic government's sole mission is to take all of their guns.

I'd argue that one that last group is comprised solely of idiots. Add in the electoral college, and it's amazing any Democrat ever wins. Republicans are just way better at marketing.

This is spot on and fucking sad and horrifying. 

9 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

while i see his point, i don't necessarily agree with his police work on this.

trump got 74mm votes, and that is troubling.  but we don't know that "74mm republicans voted for trump in the 2020 election."  trump has/had the ability to turn out his voters, that's for sure, and that's alarming.  but it feels like he also had the ability to turn non-voters into trump voters, and that doesn't really make them "republicans". 

are we to think that these 74mm people would all vote for mitt romney if he ran in 2024?  i sincerely doubt it.

And they couldn't keep Obama out of office, twice.

4 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

It's like people took the idea that we have batted around a million times here on Surlyhorns ---- "Hey, we need to come up with ideas and products to fleece these Trumpfucks" -----   created items to buy, and is making money from them.   Trumpybear? Trumpy wine?  Holy fuck.  I'm  embarrassed that these simple-minded peasants are so easily conned and we aren't doing it ourselves. 

I've occasionally sold weird shit to weird people. It's ok as a one-time thing, but as a regular thing, it'll make you itchy.

1 minute ago, RDCanecutter said:

I've occasionally sold weird shit to weird people. It's ok as a one-time thing, but as a regular thing, it'll make you itchy.

You can take a bath in their money.  That could help?

I think it tastes good.

that sounds like something Jesus would say...
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3 hours ago, Lobo said:

What the fuck is "conservative" wine?  

"They stole the election from us!" 

"The democrats are being mean!"

"All lives matter!" 

"But her emails and Hunter's laptop!"

"Too many brown people are voting!"

Those would all qualify 

I'm assuming that wine also has the electrolytes that plants crave.

Not plants.  Vines.  But yes.  Trump White Wine is also now proudly served at Carl's, Jr. and Taco Bell.  It pairs really nicely with the #6 combo and you'll have to take a huge Kraken afterwards.  

1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

Yes, those are called "asked prices."  Let's see the bid prices now.

Those are sold listings. See the checkmark under "Show Only" on the left side of the page. 

54 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

"They stole the election from us!" 

"The democrats are being mean!"

"All lives matter!" 

"But her emails and Hunter's laptop!"

"Too many brown people are voting!"

Those would all qualify 

Lol what happened to hunter’s laptop?  That ruse fizzled pretty damn fast. Morons. 

Sweet baby Jesus.  My neighbor that had the Trump sign now has a Release the Kraken sign.  

Complete loss of respect.

11 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Sweet baby Jesus.  My neighbor that had the Trump sign now has a Release the Kraken sign.  

Complete loss of respect.


You should innocently ask him/her why they want to release a legendary sea monster of gigantic size and cephalod-like appearance from Scandinavian folklore and if he/she thinks such a thing running lose in the neighborhood might be a health hazard. 

 

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1 minute ago, Hornius Emeritus said:


You should innocently ask him/her why they want to release a legendary sea monster of gigantic size and cephalod-like appearance from Scandinavian folklore and if he/she thinks such a thing running lose in the neighborhood might be a health hazard. 

 

Or, and I'm just spitballing here, take a giant shit in their yard and when confronted just say you thought that's what they wanted.

7 minutes ago, Llogg said:

Or, and I'm just spitballing here, take a giant shit in their yard and when confronted just say you thought that's what they wanted.

nice humblebrag

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image.thumb.png.f74db6a8f96f539213b4c43932534139.png

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

Lol what happened to hunter’s laptop?  That ruse fizzled pretty damn fast. Morons. 

I think that the caravan of illegals took it.

1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Sweet baby Jesus.  My neighbor that had the Trump sign now has a Release the Kraken sign.  

My neighbors have had those up for a couple of months now...

release-the-kraken-logo-BF968A23CB-seekl

I don’t even know what that means. Pretty sure they don’t either. 

Edited by Biff Tannen

Only two ways to fight that sign.

Perseus killed the Greek Kraken.

Davey Jones killed the pirate Kraken.

Both statues would be good yard art.

1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Sweet baby Jesus.  My neighbor that had the Trump sign now has a Release the Kraken sign.  

Complete loss of respect.

Hope they sent payment directly to Sidney.

 

So it’s looking like Trumps reign of terror over America will last almost exactly as long as Tom Herman’s reign of terror over UT football. 
 

This begs the obvious question. Was trump worse for America than Herman was for UT football or the opposite?

I will go with trump for now. But I can be persuaded. 

https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/28/politics/federal-workers-white-house-budget-office-trump-administration/index.html

Via executive order, Trump is trying to reclassify a few thousand federal employees just prior to the Inauguration. This could allow them to be moved to other roles if not flat out fired without the current administrative review.

I recall stories in the early days of the Trump administration that Bannon was advising Trump to drastically cut personnel without regard of the consequences. Basically slash jobs and worry about the consequences later.  Bannon saw this as a once in a lifetime opportunity to change the federal govt. If Trump fires thousands of federal workers, could Biden just hire them back the next day, or is there a federal hiring freeze that would prevent that action with congressional support?

2 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Lol what happened to hunter’s laptop?  That ruse fizzled pretty damn fast. Morons. 

Turns out it was just a pizza. 

1 minute ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/28/politics/federal-workers-white-house-budget-office-trump-administration/index.html

Via executive order, Trump is trying to reclassify a few thousand federal employees just prior to the Inauguration. This could allow them to be moved to other roles if not flat out fired without the current administrative review.

I recall stories in the early days of the Trump administration that Bannon was advising Trump to drastically cut personnel without regard of the consequences. Basically slash jobs and worry about the consequences later.  Bannon saw this as a once in a lifetime opportunity to change the federal govt. If Trump fires thousands of federal workers, could Biden just hire them back the next day, or is there a federal hiring freeze that would prevent that action with congressional support?

 

Would be really funny if Biden  writes up and drafts unofficial executive orders and posts them on Twitter or whatever.  He can say "it's all ready, just need to print it on official paper and sign it!".

48 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

I think that the caravan of illegals took it.

 

52 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

My neighbors have had those up for a couple of months now...

release-the-kraken-logo-BF968A23CB-seekl

Makes sense if you live in the Seattle region.

2 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Lol what happened to hunter’s laptop?  That ruse fizzled pretty damn fast. Morons. 

The actual lawyers explained why it would never be admissible in court, and that it sounded pretty hoax-ish that Hunter would fly thousands of miles to drop his laptop off at a computer shop ran by a guy who is legally blind and couldn't pick Hunter out of a lineup, but made sure to identify himself to the guy as Hunter Biden, instead of Turd Ferguson or Dirk Ironjaw or whatever, and then said guy somehow decided it was a good idea to give this laptop to Rudy Giuliani's people and/or shop it around the Ukraine.  

Because apparently it's a thing in Rhode Island or Delaware or whatever for computer repair shops to take customer's laptops and shop them around in Eastern Europe and to Rudy Giuliani.  Actually, some of them probably do shop the personal data around.  That would explain the massive amounts of amateur porn on the internet.

Edited by atomheartbevo

1 hour ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I recall stories in the early days of the Trump administration that Bannon was advising Trump to drastically cut personnel without regard of the consequences. Basically slash jobs and worry about the consequences later.  Bannon saw this as a once in a lifetime opportunity to change the federal govt. If Trump fires thousands of federal workers, could Biden just hire them back the next day, or is there a federal hiring freeze that would prevent that action with congressional support?

I am of the somewhat uninformed opinion that Donald Trump has proven the President can do whatever the fuck he wants to do.

5 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I am of the somewhat uninformed opinion that Donald Trump has proven the President can do whatever the fuck he wants to do.

*If he's a republican.

1 hour ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/28/politics/federal-workers-white-house-budget-office-trump-administration/index.html

Via executive order, Trump is trying to reclassify a few thousand federal employees just prior to the Inauguration. This could allow them to be moved to other roles if not flat out fired without the current administrative review.

I recall stories in the early days of the Trump administration that Bannon was advising Trump to drastically cut personnel without regard of the consequences. Basically slash jobs and worry about the consequences later.  Bannon saw this as a once in a lifetime opportunity to change the federal govt. If Trump fires thousands of federal workers, could Biden just hire them back the next day, or is there a federal hiring freeze that would prevent that action with congressional support?

I’m pretty sure anything done by EO can be reversed by EO. Kind of hard to argue the first is valid but not the second 

19 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

I’m pretty sure anything done by EO can be reversed by EO. Kind of hard to argue the first is valid but not the second 

He’s not firing them by exec order but changing their job classification.  Then they could be fired on Jan 19th. It’s possible there are rules in place about hiring people that an exec order can’t get around.  I don’t know. I just find this a weird story. 

2 hours ago, JimmyJames said:

So it’s looking like Trumps reign of terror over America will last almost exactly as long as Tom Herman’s reign of terror over UT football. 
 

This begs the obvious question. Was trump worse for America than Herman was for UT football or the opposite?

I will go with trump for now. But I can be persuaded. 

image.png.9877321643ccf16285059d94ca1d9bd6.png

24 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

He’s not firing them by exec order but changing their job classification.  Then they could be fired on Jan 19th. It’s possible there are rules in place about hiring people that an exec order can’t get around.  I don’t know. I just find this a weird story. 

I think that’s a distinction without a difference. Make an EO to change the classification back and make it retroactive to the date of Trump’s EO. Then the firings are illegitimate. 

22 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

I have nowhere else to put this. As if the last four years of Naziesque buffoonery wasn’t enough, now I have to deal with Freedom Wine. And you know that it is some cheap ass stuff stomped out in a meth lab bathtub.

9cb1883b759c045e49f862b3d6c4677b.jpg

In my experience, you could never have a conservative wine, because not a single one of them knows when to put a cork in it.

Edited by TexLonghorn

1 hour ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

He’s not firing them by exec order but changing their job classification.  Then they could be fired on Jan 19th. It’s possible there are rules in place about hiring people that an exec order can’t get around.  I don’t know. I just find this a weird story. 

Everything about Trump is weird.

In my experience, you could never have a conservative wine, because not a single one of them knows when to put a cork in it.

Hiiyooo!!!
Sweet baby Jesus.  My neighbor that had the Trump sign now has a Release the Kraken sign.  
Complete loss of respect.
You should move, bro.
4 hours ago, NWBuck said:

My neighbors have had those up for a couple of months now...

release-the-kraken-logo-BF968A23CB-seekl

Honest question, did you consider your neighbor a fucking idiot before he put up the Kraken sign?  Was it obvious or were they somewhat normal?  I understand a Trump sign.  There are a lot of intelligent and educated people that voted for Trump.  However, anyone that doesn't see that Sydney Powell is either an awful grifter or terribly mentally ill is a fucking idiot.

Edited by Cousin Strawberry
grammer

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