April 9, 20187 yr I'm a smooth MF'er. Knocked one out of the park this weekend with the wife of 24 years. "Hey baby, what are you doing for the next 3 to 5 minutes?" Top that bitches. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N910A using Tapatalk
April 9, 20187 yr Unmarried: "Hey, my name is _______." Married: "You wanna have sex now?" Creative? Fuck no. Effective? 50%, which is pretty good, really.
April 9, 20187 yr Most of mine come from tinder forums.. The dog emoji one that I put in the PoF forum has me 9/9 so far. You remind me of my little toe... I want to turn the lights off and bang you on every piece of furniture I own You + that **** colored top = second sexiest thing I have seen. Her: what is number one You - that **** colored top
April 9, 20187 yr that silk top is very becoming on you. but then again, if i was draped all over your chest like that i'd be coming too.
April 9, 20187 yr Wanna go back to my place and watch cable? KaiserSoze has heard many of my attempts thoughout the years. I'm sure he remembers some. Edited April 9, 20187 yr by mycox
April 9, 20187 yr Back in the 90's I would grab my sister's phone book (gold) randomly flip open a page, dial a number, and ask the girl that answered "where are you taking me tonight?" It worked a lot more often than I thought it would.
April 9, 20187 yr 3 hours ago, BurntEyes said: Are you ready to leave, go to my house and fuck? - applied to random chicks in bars throughout my life. Around sub 5% success ratio but one victory offsets thousands of losses.
April 9, 20187 yr #1 line that confuses the hot chicks: "You ever been fucked like your ugly..?" #2 line that leaves an impression on a drunk chick: "Welcome to prime time bitch..!"
April 9, 20187 yr 4 hours ago, BurntEyes said: Are you ready to leave, go to my house and fuck? - applied to random chicks in bars throughout my life. Around sub 5% success ratio but one victory offsets thousands of losses. 4 hours ago, BurntEyes said: To Ex: You down for a quickie before we head out. Around 1% success ratio, but that 1 offsets thousands of losses. This guy understands its all a numbers game.
April 9, 20187 yr 8 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said: This guy understands its all a numbers game. ...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats. Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes. You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before. Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park.
April 9, 20187 yr 24 minutes ago, kopp0e said: #1 line that confuses the hot chicks: "You ever been fucked like your ugly..?" #2 line that leaves an impression on a drunk chick: "Welcome to prime time bitch..!" For the confusing drunk girls... Let’s flip a coin. Tails you give me head. Heads you give me tail.
April 9, 20187 yr ...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats. Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes. You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before. Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park.Unless you're Vic, in which case you post about all the times you were hit by the pitch
April 9, 20187 yr 1 hour ago, kopp0e said: #1 line that confuses the hot chicks: "You ever been fucked like your ugly..?" #2 line that leaves an impression on a drunk chick: "Welcome to prime time bitch..!" *you're JFC.
April 9, 20187 yr 1 hour ago, BurntEyes said: Please note, while it's true that nobody got to fuck Phoebe Kates, only one person ends up getting laid in that film. Quoting myself: I like chicks that like me. 3, actually. The dude that popped Stacy's cherry, the dude that knocked her up, and Stacy.
April 10, 20187 yr 4 hours ago, elfenix said: 4 hours ago, Brisketexan said: ...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats. Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes. You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before. Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park. Unless you're Vic, in which case you post about all the times you were hit by the pitch Holy shit.
April 11, 20187 yr 1 hour ago, Ifiwaspresident said: Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't I know you? LOL, I like it!
April 11, 20187 yr A wasted acquaintance of mine once walked up to a beautiful woman in line for drinks at a crowded bar and said, very loudly, "Hey! You know I fuck, right?" He bought her drink and got her number. No shit.
April 11, 20187 yr Worked at a Mexican restaurant in college. GM hired this hot, new Hispanic chick. Guys are all peeking into the banquet room to get a look at her. Being fluent in Spanish I tell them I’ve got this. I walk up to her and say, “Hola senorita. Come esta.” She replies, “I’m from India you idiot.” My friends never let me off the hook for that one, though, I did get her and another girl into a threesome several months later.
April 11, 20187 yr You look like someone that would file a restraining order against me, but I'll take my chances.
April 12, 20187 yr Ma'am can you help me for a quick second? Does this rag smell like chloroform? 60% of the time this works every time
April 12, 20187 yr Wanna go back to my place and watch cable? KaiserSoze has heard many of my attempts thoughout the years. I'm sure he remembers some.Holy shit those were fun times... I don't even know where to start. You were the Golden Retriever of that era.
April 12, 20187 yr Wanna play rape? No. I like where this is going.“That’s the spirit” was the response I’d heard
April 12, 20187 yr The true one is that I pulled the larry eustachey line and told a girl she was way to pretty to go to a school like k-state. In my younger day I used that one about once a quarter. The secret was to find something that you are the exact polar opposite on and then make a face like you are really let down. Then drop "You are way too pretty to....." you get to tell the woman she disgusts you and compliment her at the same time. It worked probably a handful of times for me with reactions ranging from a huge smile and them fucking me to them feeling insulted but needing acceptance and fucking me. I used to be so awesome at that shit.
April 13, 20187 yr Way back when I was single:I'll bet you a dollar I can make your boobs wiggle without touching them, you, or your chair. Ok? Ok. Abra-Cadabra! (Wave hands near tits, then grab tits) Aw, what the hell. It's only a dollar. Sometimes you'd get a laugh, a number, and a fuck. If not, at least you got to touch their tits and it only cost you a buck.
April 13, 20187 yr 1 minute ago, Modessit said: Way back when I was single: I'll bet you a dollar I can make your boobs wiggle without touching them, you, or your chair. Ok? Ok. Abra-Cadabra! (Wave hands near tits, then grab tits) Aw, what the hell. It's only a dollar. Sometimes you'd get a laugh, a number, and a fuck. If not, at least you got to touch their tits and it only cost you a buck. and now you would lose your job and have a court case on your hands for sexual assault. ah, the good old days.
April 15, 20187 yr On 4/13/2018 at 8:30 AM, AM Wood said: and now you would lose your job and have a court case on your hands for sexual assault. ah, the good old days. Yeah that was the good old days. I can’t count the number of times I didn’t even need a pickup line. Just see a girl I was into, grab her ass and usually get a positive response of some form. Worst case was probably her being interested despite pretending she was pissed.
April 16, 20187 yr Best pickup line I ever heard was said to me in college: "I can give you a blowjob that will knock your socks off." I had a girlfriend at the time, so I didn't take her up on it. Obviously, I regret that today. Won't surprise some of you to know she lived in the Scottish Rite Dorm.
April 16, 20187 yr speaking of lickety split, let's meet up later, see what's going on. i'm kidding. but seriously, let's hook up. i’m new in town, kind of lonely. looking for my parents.
April 20, 20187 yr On 4/9/2018 at 3:08 PM, elfenix said: On 4/9/2018 at 2:51 PM, Brisketexan said: ...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats. Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes. You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before. Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park. Unless you're Vic, in which case you post about all the times you were hit by the pitch. whale FIFY Edited April 20, 20187 yr by pepper brooks
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.