Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

Me:  (struggling with her bra) Wow, this thing is really on!

Her:  My dad picked it out for me.

In the heat of it in a pleading moan...

”Hurrrrrry....before daddy comes home & catches me in your room.”.

She was crazy. I mean batshit crazy. Damn I miss her sometimes though. 

 

Edited by Marfa Low Crown
2020 daddy issue thread?

Just now, Bullneck said:

 

did you read the title of the thread?

1 hour ago, Grade of D as in David said:

So how was the rim job?

She was only 16 (so was I) so not that great.

 

6 hours ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

Can you see my Adam's apple?

oh shit, you are the winner. 

In the heat of it in a pleading moan...
”Hurrrrrry....before daddy comes home & catches me in your room.”.
She was crazy. I mean batshit crazy. Damn I miss her sometimes though. 
 
West virginia holla?
  • Popular Post

Let me preface this with the fact that I've been married 16 years and I have three kids, so sex can be anything from wild monkey sex to a 5 min quickie.  Depends on the situation and available time.  My wife does a good job of keeping things fresh, but sometimes it's more of a pressure relief than a drawn-out event.  Last week, Aunt Flo was in town, so my wife offered up a BJ.  I gladly accepted.  Just before beginning, she said, "do you think your mom still gives your dad head?"  I'm usually not one to let things distract me, but I gotta admit, this got into my head.  I powered through, though.  Just took some serious mind shifting.

16 minutes ago, Spaulding Smails said:

Let me preface this with the fact that I've been married 16 years and I have three kids, so sex can be anything from wild monkey sex to a 5 min quickie.  Depends on the situation and available time.  My wife does a good job of keeping things fresh, but sometimes it's more of a pressure relief than a drawn-out event.  Last week, Aunt Flo was in town, so my wife offered up a BJ.  I gladly accepted.  Just before beginning, she said, "do you think your mom still gives your dad head?"  I'm usually not one to let things distract me, but I gotta admit, this got into my head.  I powered through, though.  Just took some serious mind shifting.

Haha sounds like she likes a challenge.

51 minutes ago, Spaulding Smails said:

Let me preface this with the fact that I've been married 16 years and I have three kids, so sex can be anything from wild monkey sex to a 5 min quickie.  Depends on the situation and available time.  My wife does a good job of keeping things fresh, but sometimes it's more of a pressure relief than a drawn-out event.  Last week, Aunt Flo was in town, so my wife offered up a BJ.  I gladly accepted.  Just before beginning, she said, "do you think your mom still gives your dad head?"  I'm usually not one to let things distract me, but I gotta admit, this got into my head.  I powered through, though.  Just took some serious mind shifting.

nm

Edited by Iceman

That’s the wrong hole.

 

Narrator:  It wasn’t.

17 hours ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

In the heat of it in a pleading moan...

”Hurrrrrry....before daddy comes home & catches me in your room.”.

She was crazy. I mean batshit crazy. Damn I miss her sometimes though. 

 

So what's your sister's name?  She sounds kinky. 

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school

7 hours ago, Spaulding Smails said:

Let me preface this with the fact that I've been married 16 years and I have three kids, so sex can be anything from wild monkey sex to a 5 min quickie.  Depends on the situation and available time.  My wife does a good job of keeping things fresh, but sometimes it's more of a pressure relief than a drawn-out event.  Last week, Aunt Flo was in town, so my wife offered up a BJ.  I gladly accepted.  Just before beginning, she said, "do you think your mom still gives your dad head?"  I'm usually not one to let things distract me, but I gotta admit, this got into my head.  I powered through, though.  Just took some serious mind shifting.

You know that she said that hoping that you couldn't power through, and she wouldn't have to go through with the BJ, don't you? 

“Spit in my mouth.”  Which was taken literally.  I was a young man.  

Edited by BearCountry11

  • Popular Post

Got after it with old girlfriend the second we got in the door.  Pulling of clothes, grabbing, groping, tugging and pulling.  She was all ready to rock after a black tie shindig and some champagne.  We just couldn’t get after it fast enough.  

As I’m thrusting into her I notice her toes are curling up and as I de-thrust I notice her toes uncurl.   After 2-3 minutes of this action, she says “deadshank, take my panty hose off, would you?”

43 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Got after it with old girlfriend the second we got in the door.  Pulling of clothes, grabbing, groping, tugging and pulling.  She was all ready to rock after a black tie shindig and some champagne.  We just couldn’t get after it fast enough.  

As I’m thrusting into her I notice her toes are curling up and as I de-thrust I notice her toes uncurl.   After 2-3 minutes of this action, she says “deadshank, take my panty hose off, would you?”

This thread delivers 

5 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

"Does this mean I'll get backstage passes?"

she said that to you? 

For 2-1/2... 3 years, I was stage manager for a band in Fort Lauderdale.

I also ran around in the same circles as Brian Warner before he got fameous & Saigon Kick were 2 warehouse bays over from us.

She wanted to hang @ some of our gigs.

Baby, punch me in the face. No, not a baby slap, a hard punch. (I didn’t)

That was a one night stand to remember.

13 minutes ago, Stunns38 said:

Baby, punch me in the face. No, not a baby slap, a hard punch. (I didn’t)

That was a one night stand to remember.

Yeah, I dodged a bullet with a chick once who told me in advance that she liked that kinda shit.  I knew right then that it was a 1 way ticket to an aggravated assault or rape charge & ended all contact pretty quickly after that.

  • Author
1 hour ago, ROFL BOX said:

For 2-1/2... 3 years, I was stage manager for a band in Fort Lauderdale.

I also ran around in the same circles as Brian Warner before he got fameous & Saigon Kick were 2 warehouse bays over from us.

She wanted to hang @ some of our gigs.

So love really was on the way

“I’m too drunk and you’re too big.”

Narrator: he’s not. She was.

3 hours ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

This thread delivers 

It's definitely delivering 50 year old jokes.

4 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

For 2-1/2... 3 years, I was stage manager for a band in Fort Lauderdale.

I also ran around in the same circles as Brian Warner before he got fameous & Saigon Kick were 2 warehouse bays over from us.

She wanted to hang @ some of our gigs.

oh I thought she wanted to do butt stuff to you. 

6 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

Don't pull out, I have an IUD.

why is that odd 

6 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

Don't pull out, I have an IUD.

God bless that girl. 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.