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  • South Austin
    South Austin

  • Biff Tannen
    Biff Tannen

    I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities…

  • Save it to pay the Gov't when they ask for it back on April 15th.

Posted Images

I'ma pull a Teddy KGB and pay the IRS in July with ( their own) monies I receive.

31 minutes ago, Js1 said:

I don't think they're being issued by God, so no. 

Then why’s it say god on it, smart guy????

So people making over $100k that get furloughed are SOL? Put the for sale sign out front!

Also, does the $500/dependent only apply to families below the $100k threshold, or all dependents are eligible for $500 regardless?

3 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

Also, does the $500/dependent only apply to families below the $100k threshold, or all dependents are eligible for $500 regardless?

I know a guy where you can rent dependents kids for about $50 a month.....

17 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

So people making over $100k that get furloughed are SOL? Put the for sale sign out front!

Luckily there aren't that many of us in that scenario, what with the (alleged) eradication of the middle class and all...

On 3/17/2020 at 1:57 PM, Moby Ric said:

Save it to pay the Gov't when they ask for it back on April 15th.

I believe you have til July 15th. Put it in a savings account for 5 months at .025 and you'll have a whopping $1000.12. Please don't check my math.

1. Turn check into stack of cash.
2. Pose for pictures holding stack like a telephone.
3. Get a Facebook account and see if Vic will friend me.

Heard that a Portland strip club “employees” started a food delivery service. 
 

Boober Eats. 

1 hour ago, Rusty Shackelford said:

LMAO for real

eefc9797c1cba606e52444c5c68bb31f.jpg

Sheeeit.  I'm gonna print me up a a few million dollar bills and see if the federal reserve will buy then off me.  I'll even sell them at half face value!!

I know it's absurd, but how does that work? If they wanna give us all money, why just literally mail us a check? Do the "printing" with the check printer?

It's a serious question. Naive and uninformed, but serious. I'm asking about the relationship with the Treasury, Fed and and banks and Congress, on a basic level.

10 minutes ago, Parliament said:

I know it's absurd, but how does that work? If they wanna give us all money, why just literally mail us a check? Do the "printing" with the check printer?

It's a serious question. Naive and uninformed, but serious. I'm asking about the relationship with the Treasury, Fed and and banks and Congress, on a basic level.

They can access your direct deposit info from your tax return?

1 hour ago, Parliament said:

I know it's absurd, but how does that work? If they wanna give us all money, why just literally mail us a check? Do the "printing" with the check printer?

It's a serious question. Naive and uninformed, but serious. I'm asking about the relationship with the Treasury, Fed and and banks and Congress, on a basic level.

With the 2008 tax rebate, they mailed checks.  They will still do that for many, but they also have direct deposit info for a lot of folks from tax returns, like js1 said.    They want people spending the money fast.  Or paying credit card bills, or mortgages  or whatever, to keep the banks, lenders, retailers, etc. going   

I keep thinking they are going to fuck this up royally, and leave out a lot of people who need it the most, while many of us toss it in our savings or buy video games or whatever.  
 

I’d be pissed that more money is being wasted. Then, I’d buy a suppressor, HK Mark 23, PvS-14, or another full-size carry pistol.

Not sure if I’ll make the cut on receiving anything, if so I plan on blowing it all at local mom and pop places. AC compressor is starting to go on my truck so 1k is going to my local auto shop either way.

There’s a couple of non-chain restaurants that I frequent. I’ll probably order takeout and throw in a couple of hundred dollar tip at each place.

On 3/21/2020 at 8:14 AM, Onboard 2.0 said:

I know a guy where you can rent dependents kids for about $50 a month.....

 

bbd93643-9a46-4f7e-a126-d53e29a7a43b-m.jpg

22 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

 

bbd93643-9a46-4f7e-a126-d53e29a7a43b-m.jpg

Heheheh strictly sweat shop labor pools no touchy touchy....

On 3/21/2020 at 10:39 PM, Parliament said:

I know it's absurd, but how does that work? If they wanna give us all money, why just literally mail us a check? Do the "printing" with the check printer?

It's a serious question. Naive and uninformed, but serious. I'm asking about the relationship with the Treasury, Fed and and banks and Congress, on a basic level.

As I recall, money is deposited from the treasury into specific banks contracted with the treasury department and then the banks along with an intermediary transfer the money out to individual accounts for a small transaction fee. At least that was how it worked when I was involved with an intermediary that did this for the treasury department 10 years ago.

If you consider a select few candidates will get a percentage of Billions of dollars in transactions, a fuck ton of companies are going to be lining up for the bid or bitching they didn't get the bid.

On 3/20/2020 at 5:36 PM, BearSchlong said:

Surly:

 

quote-we-might-make-a-lot-of-money-but-w

 

tumblr_lepeckGIh91qbyvxso1_400.jpg

 

is 2020 the year we finally get free obamaphones?

On 3/21/2020 at 8:14 AM, Onboard 2.0 said:

I know a guy where you can rent dependents kids for about $50 a month.....

That price has had to have fallen in the past week...

The $10,000 student loan cancellation would have been nice and done a lot to stimulate discretionary spending in my household, but looks like that will be one of the obvious concessions from the house to reach a deal.

Looks like it’s been agreed to just now. Not sure how much we’re getting. I’m eager to see if I’m getting a Denali or boring Tahoe

19 hours ago, 'stache said:

The $10,000 student loan cancellation would have been nice and done a lot to stimulate discretionary spending in my household, but looks like that will be one of the obvious concessions from the house to reach a deal.

Here too, but oh well 3 more years left anyway.

Can't say I'd be in favor of an outright cancellation, but a multi month deferment or reduction seems totally acceptable.  

I'm in the over $100k crowd, and self employed  so I don't see any relief coming, but I'll quickly be in the under $100K if clients don't start calling in a few months.  Right now I have work that will get me thru for a while.

The wife isn't in the over $100k group so I assume we'll get something, but it's token at best when you factor in a mortgage, office rent utilities, food, etc. 

Should probably change the title to "what will you do when the U.S. treasury sends you a lump of coal?"

 

1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Can't say I'd be in favor of an outright cancellation, but a multi month deferment or reduction seems totally acceptable.  

I'm in the over $100k crowd, and self employed  so I don't see any relief coming, but I'll quickly be in the under $100K if clients don't start calling in a few months.  Right now I have work that will get me thru for a while.

The wife isn't in the over $100k group so I assume we'll get something, but it's token at best when you factor in a mortgage, office rent utilities, food, etc. 

Wife and I are both in this position.  We will see no relief, but if my clients are not at work I am not getting paid.  So this should make for some interesting few months for me.  She will still be fully employed and fine.  Me........depending on how long this lasts I may not.

14 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

Wife and I are both in this position.  We will see no relief, but if my clients are not at work I am not getting paid.  So this should make for some interesting few months for me.  She will still be fully employed and fine.  Me........depending on how long this lasts I may not.

I was getting ready to send out a round of invoices, and frankly feel a bit weird about it right now.

I've got a client who's ignored a past due invoice for a decent amount of money. This is kind of uncharted territory.  Don't wanna be the dick threatening legal action with all the shit going down. but it's been going on for a couple months now.

I was getting ready to send out a round of invoices, and frankly feel a bit weird about it right now.
I've got a client who's ignored a past due invoice for a decent amount of money. This is kind of uncharted territory.  Don't wanna be the dick threatening legal action with all the shit going down. but it's been going on for a couple months now.

Oof yea..did you invoice him before pre Coronavirus? If so then I wouldn’t feel like it’s a dick move
2 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


Oof yea..did you invoice him before pre Coronavirus? If so then I wouldn’t feel like it’s a dick move

Oh yeah, 30 days plus ago.  

Quote

The package would give one-time direct payments to Americans — $1,200 per adult making up to $75,000 a year, and $2,400 to a married couple making up to $150,000, with $500 payments per child.

https://www.startribune.com/white-house-congress-agree-on-2-trillion-virus-rescue-bill/569086042/

I won't be seeing anything from this.  But you know that individual who makes $75,001/year is cussing right now.

The package would give one-time direct payments to Americans — $1,200 per adult making up to $75,000 a year, and $2,400 to a married couple making up to $150,000, with $500 payments per child.
https://www.startribune.com/white-house-congress-agree-on-2-trillion-virus-rescue-bill/569086042/
I won't be seeing anything from this.  But you know that individual who makes $75,001/year is cussing right now.

Should be almost 100k per single person and 150 for married couples

Is this where we all start posting how much money we make?

1 minute ago, tokamak said:

Is this where we all start posting how much money we make?

Gonna be more like how much money we ain't making before too long.

4 hours ago, F250 said:

Should probably change the title to "what will you do when the U.S. treasury sends you a lump of coal?"

What does that translate into in terms of hand sanitizer and TP?

And for those who provided their bank info (such as those getting a return), it’ll go right in at some future date.   Apparently based on 2019 if you filed early, or 2018 taxes.   Checks will take weeks longer.

Sounds like it will be one-time, could push into late April/May because of staffing issues due to virus.

Found more info:

Quote

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin has said they hope to start issuing checks within three weeks, with the remainder of the checks to be mailed by the end of May. However, the stimulus bill does not provide a specific timeline for payment distributions.

“We want to make sure Americans get money in their pockets quickly,” Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said last week. “As soon as Congress passes this, we will get this out in three weeks.”

But that’s subject to change obviously, for those getting checks.   

2 hours ago, tokamak said:

Is this where we all start posting how much money we make?

Yup.  Honestly it is good that it is means tested.  It isn’t “nothing” but it needs to be for the hardest hit.  The corporate bailout is pure horseshit and will he used for more buybacks indirectly.  

3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

https://www.startribune.com/white-house-congress-agree-on-2-trillion-virus-rescue-bill/569086042/
I won't be seeing anything from this.  But you know that individual who makes $75,001/year is cussing right now.

Should be almost 100k per single person and 150 for married couples

It's phased out right? So that person will still get something. 

It's phased out right? So that person will still get something. 

Last I read was it reduces $50 for every 1k over ther $75k/$150k


Doesn’t meant t will be in the final bill though
1 hour ago, Hefeweizen said:

Yup.  Honestly it is good that it is means tested.  It isn’t “nothing” but it needs to be for the hardest hit.  The corporate bailout is pure horseshit and will he used for more buybacks indirectly.  

I've only given it a quick glance but it looks like a lot of people will fall through the cracks. I'm thinking of self-employed and contractor types that did well in 2018 but are currently not bringing in the same level of income.

If you’re over the income level do you still get the money for the kid? Ordering shit for her to do is adding up. 

If you’re over the income level do you still get the money for the kid? Ordering shit for her to do is adding up. 

You should be rich enough to afford it
I'm poor and a minority so this is good.

Hookers and blow... obviously.

We expect you to buy some pussy like MiA is suggesting.

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