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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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47 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

That's part of the problem in general and why we needed to raise the salaries (and need to raise them another 40-50% - to make the job attractive to better folks. I have no direct insight here, but from the outside looking in she treats it like the best job she's ever had and works to keep it. I want elected officials to feel that way.  

Council service isn't going to have the best labor pool when it doesn't pay enough to live in more than half the districts. 

 

it's the highest paying job she's ever had

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I think its more than time we pivit to addressing our esteemed councilwoman as Fatlump. 

Edited by Blotto

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@Chopper is clearly concerned that at some point he paid Fitlump for sex.

That's part of the problem in general and why we needed to raise the salaries (and need to raise them another 40-50% - to make the job attractive to better folks. I have no direct insight here, but from the outside looking in she treats it like the best job she's ever had and works to keep it. I want elected officials to feel that way.  

Council service isn't going to have the best labor pool when it doesn't pay enough to live in more than half the districts. 

Double the pay. Outlaw campaign TV ads and videos of any kind. Candidates write up their positions and people can read them. Have a couple of debates. And then vote. Make it so reasonable people might consider going through the process.

But I digress. Apologies.
11 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

@Chopper is clearly concerned that at some point he paid Fitlump for sex.

 

maybe she paid him ?

reno 911 appreciation GIF

On 1/9/2023 at 10:39 AM, Wally Pryor said:

 

If Kelly / her staff are at least returning calls or emails then that's better than the corpse Paige Ellis that serves our district. 

She's fucking useless. 

It really is unbelievable.  She has one of the most politically active and communicative districts, and she does absolutely nothing.  I've tried to contact her on multiple occasions, and never gotten anything by way of response.

2 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

It really is unbelievable.  She has one of the most politically active and communicative districts, and she does absolutely nothing.  I've tried to contact her on multiple occasions, and never gotten anything by way of response.

 

I got nothing to add.

On 1/8/2023 at 6:31 PM, Bozo_Casanova said:

 

Not joking at all: she was probably the third best member of the previous council and will probably stay in the 3-4 slot in this one.

She works very hard and is almost certainly the most responsive and available member of council.

You have as much useful insight as anyone on this thread.

It doesn't surprise me that Ellis continues to get re-elected because, well, it's Austin. But what the hell is the deal with her? She basically ignores constituents.

Chopper is clearly new around here.

1 hour ago, Wally Pryor said:

You have as much useful insight as anyone on this thread.

It doesn't surprise me that Ellis continues to get re-elected because, well, it's Austin. But what the hell is the deal with her? She basically ignores constituents.

Well, her opponent this last go around was a Trumpkin.  Her district is probably 75% Democratic, and when the Travis County Democratic Party clears the field with the exception of a right-winger, reelection is pretty fucking easy.

But it really is amazing.  During her reelection campaign, I didn't see or hear a damned thing from her.  

I did meet her at a campaign event for Beto.  I introduced myself and told her that I lived in her district.  And do you know what she did?  Not a fucking thing.  She walked off.

Her complete lack of give-a-shit really is amazing.

4 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

Well, her opponent this last go around was a Trumpkin.  Her district is probably 75% Democratic, and when the Travis County Democratic Party clears the field with the exception of a right-winger, reelection is pretty fucking easy.

But it really is amazing.  During her reelection campaign, I didn't see or hear a damned thing from her.  

I did meet her at a campaign event for Beto.  I introduced myself and told her that I lived in her district.  And do you know what she did?  Not a fucking thing.  She walked off.

Her complete lack of give-a-shit really is amazing.

Smith wasn't going to win, yeah. Understood.

But Circle C, Travis Country and that area are 75% Democrats?

6 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

It doesn't surprise me that Ellis continues to get re-elected because, well, it's Austin. But what the hell is the deal with her? She basically ignores constituents.

City council folks only run for re-election once and odds are in their favor.

You get elected ... you serve four years ... you get re-elected ... four more years ... you're done.  I think you can get a petition going to serve longer and you can come back later if the terms are non-consecutive, but for the most part that doesn't happen.

Council members have a huge advantage when running for re-election.  They are a known name and they have had four years to make inside connections.  They usually run against maybe one worthwhile opponent and a handful of crazy people, or run against no one at all.

Of the 11 people elected in 2014, five made it all the way to last week, one is now in the the Texas Leg, one left for the US House, and one left to become the county attorney.  Of the three others, one didn't run for re-election and two lost re-election bids.

On 1/9/2023 at 3:12 PM, Mittens said:

image.png.da58ff141dcd138639b4cfd55a2dbd15.png

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 
 

I will also say, for the district I live in, she has gone out of her way to have meetings and talk. Even if they don’t live in the city. The ETJ, the MUD, she is fully aware that what happens in the city affects them all. 
 

say what you will about my profile or her, at least she’s trying. And she is doing a more than okay job. Perhaps it’s wisdom with age or actually giving a fuck but she is a completely different human than she was on surly. And that’s saying something. 
 

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. Look at the monitor article. She’s not a Zimmerman. She’s not a Flannigan. She has found a way to make her way and not be ridiculous. Hate me but it is what it is. And we all have to accept that. 

Please don’t chase her off y’all. This has potential. 

1 hour ago, NopeEver said:

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 
 

I will also say, for the district I live in, she has gone out of her way to have meetings and talk. Even if they don’t live in the city. The ETJ, the MUD, she is fully aware that what happens in the city affects them all. 
 

say what you will about my profile or her, at least she’s trying. And she is doing a more than okay job. Perhaps it’s wisdom with age or actually giving a fuck but she is a completely different human than she was on surly. And that’s saying something. 
 

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. Look at the monitor article. She’s not a Zimmerman. She’s not a Flannigan. She has found a way to make her way and not be ridiculous. Hate me but it is what it is. And we all have to accept that. 

Thanks for the post.  I am all ears.  Do tell.

Well, I didn't think you were Fitlump until you told us, but please, elaborate.

5 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Show your tits and forehead and prove you’re not FitLump.

image.jpeg.afdaa8a545a1b15b4d0b06a91829f858.jpeg

11 hours ago, NopeEver said:

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 
 

I will also say, for the district I live in, she has gone out of her way to have meetings and talk. Even if they don’t live in the city. The ETJ, the MUD, she is fully aware that what happens in the city affects them all. 
 

say what you will about my profile or her, at least she’s trying. And she is doing a more than okay job. Perhaps it’s wisdom with age or actually giving a fuck but she is a completely different human than she was on surly. And that’s saying something. 
 

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. Look at the monitor article. She’s not a Zimmerman. She’s not a Flannigan. She has found a way to make her way and not be ridiculous. Hate me but it is what it is. And we all have to accept that. 

 

bye-whore.gif

On 1/9/2023 at 4:18 PM, jimmyjazz said:

@Chopper is clearly concerned that at some point he OVER-paid Fitlump for sex.

 

13 hours ago, NopeEver said:

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 
 

I will also say, for the district I live in, she has gone out of her way to have meetings and talk. Even if they don’t live in the city. The ETJ, the MUD, she is fully aware that what happens in the city affects them all. 
 

say what you will about my profile or her, at least she’s trying. And she is doing a more than okay job. Perhaps it’s wisdom with age or actually giving a fuck but she is a completely different human than she was on surly. And that’s saying something. 
 

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. Look at the monitor article. She’s not a Zimmerman. She’s not a Flannigan. She has found a way to make her way and not be ridiculous. Hate me but it is what it is. And we all have to accept that. 

Guys--this isn't Mackenzie Kelly.  She clearly says in the first sentence that this is Frank.

Anyway--I'd rather have Kelly represent me than Ellis.  And I agree with the vast majority of Ellis's policy positions and virtually none of Kelly's.  But if I'd have called Fitlump after APD drew down on Mrs.LL in her own goddamned backyard, I bet I'd hear back from her.  From Ellis, I got silence.

20 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

Well, her opponent this last go around was a Trumpkin.  Her district is probably 75% Democratic, and when the Travis County Democratic Party clears the field with the exception of a right-winger, reelection is pretty fucking easy.

But it really is amazing.  During her reelection campaign, I didn't see or hear a damned thing from her.  

I did meet her at a campaign event for Beto.  I introduced myself and told her that I lived in her district.  And do you know what she did?  Not a fucking thing.  She walked off.

Her complete lack of give-a-shit really is amazing.

 

Have you ever considered that maybe she just doesn't like you? 

2 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

 

Have you ever considered that maybe she just doesn't like you? 

I considered it.

But it can't be the case.  She doesn't know me well enough yet to realize that she doesn't like me.

13 hours ago, NopeEver said:

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 
 

I will also say, for the district I live in, she has gone out of her way to have meetings and talk. Even if they don’t live in the city. The ETJ, the MUD, she is fully aware that what happens in the city affects them all. 
 

say what you will about my profile or her, at least she’s trying. And she is doing a more than okay job. Perhaps it’s wisdom with age or actually giving a fuck but she is a completely different human than she was on surly. And that’s saying something. 
 

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. Look at the monitor article. She’s not a Zimmerman. She’s not a Flannigan. She has found a way to make her way and not be ridiculous. Hate me but it is what it is. And we all have to accept that. 

I’ll slow clap this. Slow clap to you, lurker, i unironically agree with all of it despite the bullshit with Pio’s stuff.

4 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

I considered it.

But it can't be the case.  She doesn't know me well enough yet to realize that she doesn't like me.

And that's fair.

 

As already noted in the thread, most local politicians don't have to give a shit about anything in this town as their positions are completely secure.   Single party systems are a joke and rife with corruption, and sadly that's the state of most cities.  With the disappearance of local journalism, city councils are running amok all over the place.

13 hours ago, NopeEver said:

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 
 

I will also say, for the district I live in, she has gone out of her way to have meetings and talk. Even if they don’t live in the city. The ETJ, the MUD, she is fully aware that what happens in the city affects them all. 
 

say what you will about my profile or her, at least she’s trying. And she is doing a more than okay job. Perhaps it’s wisdom with age or actually giving a fuck but she is a completely different human than she was on surly. And that’s saying something. 
 

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. Look at the monitor article. She’s not a Zimmerman. She’s not a Flannigan. She has found a way to make her way and not be ridiculous. Hate me but it is what it is. And we all have to accept that. 

You're not concerned about a NY Times like investigation about your fake resume?

“I’m totally not Mackenzie even though I’ve only posted twice ever, both times in the Mackenzie thread, tirelessly extolling the flawless virtues of one Mackenzie Kelly as she navigates the bulging, lumpy road of politics in her district”.  

14 hours ago, NopeEver said:

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. 

What the fuck does this even mean?

1 hour ago, Ghost of LL said:

I considered it.

But it can't be the case.  She doesn't know me well enough yet to realize that she doesn't like me.

were you in a pedobear costume?

Wasn't she friends with Ricky the pedo who got sent away to prison, too? 

7 minutes ago, Deej said:

Wasn't she friends with Ricky the pedo who got sent away to prison, too? 

Yes, our friend Ricky with all the mussels--pedo rapist.  He's probably still working out.  Which means she'd still bang him.

On 1/8/2023 at 6:31 PM, Bozo_Casanova said:

 

Not joking at all: she was probably the third best member of the previous council and will probably stay in the 3-4 slot in this one.

She works very hard and is almost certainly the most responsive and available member of council.

Curious -- who do you put at one and two? 

I know her past, but damn if it was a mayoral matchup between Kelly and most members of council, I'd likely go Kelly. I know I'd take Kelly over Adler. 

I would take Watson light years over her in a mayoral election... not even close. But versus Israel? I'd have to think about it for a second.

2 hours ago, Orange&White said:

What the fuck does this even mean?

McKenzie, why don't you go fetch me and the congressman a couple more drinks, darling. [encouraging pat on ass]

She capitalized "Frank" in the middle of a sentence out of habit.... and that's the name of her so-called "service dog".

Co-inky-dink?

Service dog? The dog who services her?

5 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Curious -- who do you put at one and two? 

Ranking the last council in terms of their responsiveness, ability to get things done, and service to their district I’d say 

1) NHM

2) Casar (obviously very polarizing, not likely to be popular here, and got some things very wrong but that’s how I see it)

3)  Pio & Kelly (tied)

Edited by Bozo_Casanova

22 hours ago, NopeEver said:

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 
 

I will also say, for the district I live in, she has gone out of her way to have meetings and talk. Even if they don’t live in the city. The ETJ, the MUD, she is fully aware that what happens in the city affects them all. 
 

say what you will about my profile or her, at least she’s trying. And she is doing a more than okay job. Perhaps it’s wisdom with age or actually giving a fuck but she is a completely different human than she was on surly. And that’s saying something. 
 

she is now the “darling” of the party and every year she is away from her past she is going to predicate the future. Look at the monitor article. She’s not a Zimmerman. She’s not a Flannigan. She has found a way to make her way and not be ridiculous. Hate me but it is what it is. And we all have to accept that. 

Brady Bunch K GIF

On 1/11/2023 at 2:40 PM, Ghost of LL said:

Well, her opponent this last go around was a Trumpkin.  Her district is probably 75% Democratic, and when the Travis County Democratic Party clears the field with the exception of a right-winger, reelection is pretty fucking easy.

But it really is amazing.  During her reelection campaign, I didn't see or hear a damned thing from her.  

I did meet her at a campaign event for Beto.  I introduced myself and told her that I lived in her district.  And do you know what she did?  Not a fucking thing.  She walked off.

Her complete lack of give-a-shit really is amazing.

You went to a campaign event for that f...ing loser? Bwahaha

You went to a campaign event for that f...ing loser? Bwahaha

Hot ass at Beto event: lots
Hot ass at Cruz event: not
Scoreboard: GOLL
Just now, Brisketexan said:


Hot ass at Beto event: lots
Hot ass at Cruz event: not
Scoreboard: GOLL

Nothing but weirdos at a Beto event.

10 hours ago, Orange&White said:

What the fuck does this even mean?

She’s sucking GOP dick and therefore the world is her oyster.

On 1/11/2023 at 9:21 PM, NopeEver said:

I hate to say this since you all think I’m Kelly, but to be quite Frank she has done more than any other member. She does treat this as the best job she has ever had and that’s what I’d want from an elected. Maybe she went to counseling and figured her life out. Maybe not. But she has proven, time and time again, she is willing to take the hard stances. (Ex the Adler shit about him using city resources to campaign which is against the city charter and bypasses party lines) 

So Kelly, is the long game here that once you've finished your term(s) as a council member you resurrect your career as Cam Girl Faith? How many pairs of official panties worn at a council meeting or public event are you looking to sell?

9 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Hot ass at Beto event: lots
Hot ass at Cruz event: not
Scoreboard: GOLL

 

9 hours ago, GlobalWarming2478 said:

Nothing but weirdos at a Beto event.

I'm a Beto supporter. I have the t-shirt to prove it. Like it or not, globalwarming is right here. I went to a rally, and it wasn't the best looking crowd. I guess it's better than the weird uniformity at an Abbott rally. Maybe political rallies just invite the weird.

12 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Ranking the last council in terms of their responsiveness, ability to get things done, and service to their district I’d say 

1) NHM

2) Casar (obviously very polarizing, not likely to be popular here, and got some things very wrong but that’s how I see it)

3)  Pio & Kelly (tied)

Thank you, but I hate your answers.

The fact that Casar is in Congress makes me sick. 

13 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Ranking the last council in terms of their responsiveness, ability to get things done, and service to their district I’d say 

1) NHM

2) Casar (obviously very polarizing, not likely to be popular here, and got some things very wrong but that’s how I see it)

3)  Pio & Kelly (tied)

What has she actually gotten done or accomplished? Serious question -- I'm not trying to be an ass.

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