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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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She had to have written that. She's the only person dumb enough to make a tiny sign with a tiny font and post it a foot off the ground in tall grass.

  • Author
42 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

She had to have written that. She's the only person dumb enough to make a tiny sign with a tiny font and post it a foot off the ground in tall grass.

Let's see, it's small, so easily concealed until ready to set it up.

It's illegally posted - you are not supposed to attach 3rd-party flyers/posters to traffic signs.

Hmmmm...

On 9/1/2020 at 6:37 PM, phdhorn said:

In one way some of y'all are taking this way too seriously. This is nothing but a comic vaudeville act. To even hint at a serious run against the candidate who is going to win by 25 points it's getting way too caught up in it. My goldfish stands a better chance against Flannigan.

However, as a few have said here, that's probably not her main goal. She doesn't care about winning anything in the short term except publicity. Her idea is to hobnob with all these Republican bigwigs, and I think she thinks she can actually snoz herself into being a viable candidate for some other office in the future. However, Democrats and Republicans will abandon a loser faster than COVID through a Major league baseball team. She'd better enjoy this faux good time, because after November she will have a tough time trying to even get support to run for current Shaggy moderator

Enjoy the spectacle while you can. Nothing is going to come of it, save for hilarious bullahit out of her pie hole.

Sid Miller and Dan Patrick disagree with your post.  Crazy candidates do quite well in Texas.

Edited by kevwun

2 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

She had to have written that. She's the only person dumb enough to make a tiny sign with a tiny font and post it a foot off the ground in tall grass.

.. and then describe the author as a hero. a first-line disaster scientist hero.

I'm sure she actually took time to look up from her phone while driving to notice that sign. 

what a dipshit.

https://www.google.com/maps/@30.4216986,-97.7944229,3a,90y,322.17h,103.54t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1scs_VtkQ3VyNQRMLytbpbzA!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo3.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3Dcs_VtkQ3VyNQRMLytbpbzA%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D90.452965%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192

She put the sign up where, in order to read it, one would have to stop in the middle of an intersection where traffic doesn't stop.  There are no crosswalks to the location of the sign.  There is no place to park on the street within 300 yards of the sign.  And she had to stand in the middle of the street to take her pic of the sign.

  • Author
56 minutes ago, Hagbard Celine said:

She put the sign up where, in order to read it, one would have to stop in the middle of an intersection where traffic doesn't stop.  There are no crosswalks to the location of the sign.  There is no place to park on the street within 300 yards of the sign.  And she had to stand in the middle of the street to take her pic of the sign.

spacer.png

I agree that she wrote it and placed it. As for tiny, road signs are always bigger close up than you think they'd be, so I bet her sign is about 2 feet wide. As in, big enough where she had to use something bigger than a home printer.

\What I'm saying is somebody else spell-checked it and printed it for her, someone who just might crack.

 

Yep, second look that thing is one of those corrugated plastic campaign signs, that sit on an "H" wire frame, so however big those are.

Edited by RDCanecutter
lump lump lump

Yup.

The “RT if you agree with the message on this sign” gives it away.  It’s precisely why she made the sign.

47 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Are you talking about the same sign that, when I clicked on Twitter, I had to also click on the image and then zoom in from my phone to read? The same sign upon first reading I had to re-read due to the odd phrasing, length and tiny font? At the intersection where you don't stop apparently? 

The placement and design for which some might call a complete disaster

Yeah, I'm sure that's what occured.

SCIENCE!

On 9/1/2020 at 9:35 PM, BradInATX said:

I doubt she spit him out though, nomsayin?

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  • Author

Either she is just so happening to bump into various Texas political creatures on her way to crashing and burning in her city council race, or she's playing a long game and plans on running for another office in two years.  And she's showing off her public safety skills during a pandemic.

 

 

Dude is wearing a shirt with his own name on it. Those two should get married. They're perfect for each other.

37 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

Dude is wearing a shirt with his own name on it.

And he chose the Yoo Hoo chocolate drink font.

7 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Either she is just so happening to bump into various Texas political creatures on her way to crashing and burning in her city council race, or she's playing a long game and plans on running for another office in two years.  And she's showing off her public safety skills during a pandemic.

 

 

Pete Sessions was a party to destroying the career of Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch in exchange for fund raising assistance from Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, and is referred to in their money laundering indictment as “Congressman-1”.  The PR guy he hired to help him distance himself from the scandal was Matt Mackowiak.

These people have no idea who or what she is.  It's amazing.  But she fits right in.  Pete fucking Sessions.

scout and rex kramer doing the lord's work, still up on her sign thread 40 hours downline.  the crash is going to be fantastic when it happens.

lumpbert.png
free photo website hosting

1 minute ago, Hagbard Celine said:

i just figured it out.  she looks like a lizard.

Spot on.  I'd been thinking she was reminiscent of something, but couldn't quite place it.  You're exactly right.

39 minutes ago, Hagbard Celine said:

i just figured it out.  she looks like a lizard.

Land Of The Lost GIF

Fitlump tweeted out a link to a press release on her campaign’s FB page disparaging Flannigan for his position on police funding.

From the press release:
"Flannigan has not only 'reimagined' APD but also his own position on funding law enforcement," said Mackenzie Kelly, the leading candidate to replace Flannigan in November. "District 6 residents deserve a Council member who will not flip-flop on an issue as critical as police funding. I will be a champion for full funding for public safety and will never bow down to pressure from radical activists and especially not violent protesters."

Reimagine?

Sounds like a word a ‘hero’ would use.

 

C0B23D01-1213-4272-87DB-35560698941E.jpeg

Edited by Foggy Notion

Where's the pic of her in the blue body paint? That ought to get some voter's attention. 

On 5/9/2020 at 9:50 AM, Brisketexan said:


Getting your ass signed by Lo-Pan is no small thing. Respek.

I thought that was Flaco Jimenez the first time I saw that. 

She got her start as a block-walker, no?  

  • Author

Take back Austin from?????

Did Austin magically change in the past few decades, outside of getting larger?

2 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Take back Austin from?????

Did Austin magically change in the past few decades, outside of getting larger?

She's one of them herself. Subterranean lizard people of Pct 6.

 

  • Author

Says the woman who loves to post photos of herself without a mask, hanging with other people 

 

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Is that a Batman shadow
The lump comes out at night to feed.

From the article above, in the "you can't make this shit up" dept. (in orange):

bubble.png

56 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Says the woman who loves to post photos of herself without a mask, hanging with other people 

 

Isn't her candidacy Austin's newest home for live comedy? 

10 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

So Lisa Birkman is her "Role model",

Don't do it. 

000_09702-1024x538.jpg

 

Edited by Cheeseweasel

So lump will be backed by Fight For Austin PAC... FAP. 

 

  • Author
5 hours ago, B00M said:

So lump will be backed by Fight For Austin PAC... FAP. 

I....I thought you were making that up, but FAP is a real thing.

https://www.statesman.com/news/20200909/new-austin-pac-aims-to-raise-300000-to-push-public-safety-agenda-in-council-races

Quote

Eight weeks before the November elections, a new political action committee says it plans to raise $300,000 to support Austin City Council candidates who prioritize public safety and support reinstating a ban on homeless camping in the city.

Quote

Founders of the Fight for Austin PAC, which describes itself as nonpartisan, include Travis County Republican Party Chairman Matt Mackowiak, former Austin City Council member Ellen Troxclair, and Cleo Petricek, a founder of the SAFE Project, an Austin advocacy group.

 

  • Author

How the fuck is that not Surly's own personal PAC?

And why can't Foxy Troxy have been the one who had a cam girl past?

I thought this new one was "Our Fight for Austin" PAC?  Or is the Judean People's Front PAC?  

2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I thought this new one was "Our Fight for Austin" PAC?  Or is the Judean People's Front PAC?  

Fuck off!  Judean People's Front.  It's the People's Front of Judea.

3 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Fuck off!  Judean People's Front.  It's the People's Front of Judea.

SPLITTERS!!!!

I guess they somehow ruled these out...

Clean Underpasses Now Texas

Fight Unwelcome People Austin

Take Austin Intersections Now Texas

PAC Underpass Blight Extermination

3 minutes ago, B00M said:

I guess they somehow ruled these out...

Clean Underpasses Now Texas

Fight Unwelcome People Austin

Take Austin Intersections Now Texas

PAC Underpass Blight Extermination

At this point, I'd donate to "4-burner BBQ Limit for Underpass Cookouts & Moderately Soiled Mattresses in Plain Sight for Austin Super PAC"...if any of those candidates had a shot.  There's only two vulnerable liberal City Council members and neither is up for re-election right now.  Their three candidates just aren't going to win, plain and simple.  They'd be better served putting those resources and names behind ballot props now, and then making a serious push to get rid of some dead weight on council next time around. 

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

SPLITTERS!!!!

All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what has the Austin City Council ever done for us?

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