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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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  • Author
1 minute ago, Pasken said:

This was as of July 15th. She'll have to file a final report after the election.

Does she get to roll that over into another campaign for whatever office she is chasing in 2022?

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1 minute ago, atomheartbevo said:

Does she get to roll that over into another campaign for whatever office she is chasing in 2022?

I have no clue.

She's getting campaign finance planning advice from an underpants gnome. I'm sure of it.

  • Popular Post

This showed up in the game thread last night thanks to Phlegm. Posting here for posterity.


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On 9/11/2020 at 3:51 PM, Dr. Beeper said:

Goddamnit I wish I hadn’t read that. My best friend and business partner gave her max contribution. 

Trust me, this surprises no one...

On 9/11/2020 at 4:51 PM, Dr. Beeper said:

I had clearance as Clarence. She’s probably reading this thread. Well, you’re fat, ugly and stupid. You’re a volunteer firefighter, a cam girl, a real whore and attention whore, and a liar. You live in an apartment.  Your husband is fat and has a terrible beard. 

It disgusts me that we are in the same party, but I take solace in that you don’t believe in any ideals. Rather you’re in it for the attention. 
 

because your party is overflowing with morons like Fitlump, QAnon fucktards, and aggy. You choose the company you keep, don't be surprised when the lights come on. 

  • Author
2 hours ago, Foggy Notion said:

This showed up in the game thread last night thanks to Phlegm. Posting here for posterity.


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Her tryout for the WNFLDL was something else.

  • Author
18 hours ago, Pasken said:

I have no clue.

Looked at some of that stuff - https://www.ethics.state.tx.us/resources/FAQs/FAQ_COH_Legal.php#Q2

Quote

I was a candidate in an election, and I lost. Do I need to file any further reports?

Losing an election does not end your filing responsibilities with the Texas Ethics Commission or with your local filing authority.

If your situation meets all of the following criteria, you may file a final report to terminate your treasurer and terminate future filing requirements:

  • you do not currently hold an office, and
  • you lost the election, and
  • you have no remaining funds or assets in your campaign account

The final report will cover the period beginning where your last report ended and ending on the day the final report is filed.

Filing a final report terminates your campaign treasurer appointment and terminates your status as a “candidate” for filing purposes. Please remember that you may not accept campaign contributions or make campaign expenditures without having a campaign treasurer appointment on file. 

If you do not file a final report after the election, you will be required to file semiannual reports until you file a final report. Officeholders who have filed a final report may still have additional filing requirements. See the relevant campaign finance guide for additional information.

This sounds like she had to file some kind of personal financial statement

https://www.austintexas.gov/page/2020-candidate-packet

If she finishes with money in her campaign account, she will have to keep filing reports.  Also, it sounds like she can use that money for future political or charitable causes.  My guess is that she will have very little money left, unless she's planning on a future race, in which case she can keep fundraising.

Edited by atomheartbevo

On 9/11/2020 at 3:51 PM, Dr. Beeper said:

Goddamnit I wish I hadn’t read that. My best friend and business partner gave her max contribution. 

Are we talking about a prominent West Austin business owner?  Because I see one of those and I’m very disappointed and surprised he would throw money away to get rid of one of the best and most pragmatic members of council.

  • Author
1 minute ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Are we talking about a prominent West Austin business owner?  Because I see one of those and I’m very disappointed and surprised he would throw money away to get rid of one of the best and most pragmatic members of council.

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2 hours ago, Dr. Beeper said:

No comment. I can tell you my buddy does not feel the same way about JF that you do. I don’t live in Austin so I’m just gonna stop commenting on it. 

Does your buddy have two older sisters and a younger brother?

  • Author
17 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Does your buddy have two older sisters and a younger brother?

14 minutes ago, Dr. Beeper said:

No. Comment. But, if he theoretically did, one sister looks just like him and the other looks just like his lil bro. 

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Edited by atomheartbevo

41 minutes ago, Dr. Beeper said:

No. Comment. But, if he theoretically did, one sister looks just like him and the other looks just like his lil bro. 

It’s amazing, right? Two have the complexion of the dad and the other two like the mom. 

Edited by Bozo_Casanova

1 hour ago, Dr. Beeper said:

What happened to dad was sad. He was a great man. Taken down very quickly. 

He fought like hell. 

 

Screenshots in spoiler tags below:

Spoiler

702384143_2020-09-1416_30_32-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.jpg.ded1a1b0c233edb3841a8eef8b41fefa.jpg

 

78585148_2020-09-1416_31_04-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.thumb.jpg.3eef54232653b0a8526a3b230438d881.jpg

 

1477356440_2020-09-1416_31_13-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.thumb.jpg.00ecc88a720cc0810f6dca68d5691c6d.jpg1477356440_2020-09-1416_31_13-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.thumb.jpg.00ecc88a720cc0810f6dca68d5691c6d.jpg

 

I'm not going to comment on her political viewpoints but I will state she has a very poor understanding of what the term "weasel word" means, because being called a "Nazi" or a "fascist" doesn't meet that definition. Those are direct and unambiguous accusations.

Not too late to join me for a virtual Flannigan fundraiser on Wednesday evening via Zoom. I'll definitely be asking Jimmy to characterize the political views of his opponents.

1 hour ago, RamjetFDO said:

 

Screenshots in spoiler tags below:

  Hide contents

702384143_2020-09-1416_30_32-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.jpg.ded1a1b0c233edb3841a8eef8b41fefa.jpg

 

78585148_2020-09-1416_31_04-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.thumb.jpg.3eef54232653b0a8526a3b230438d881.jpg

 

1477356440_2020-09-1416_31_13-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.thumb.jpg.00ecc88a720cc0810f6dca68d5691c6d.jpg1477356440_2020-09-1416_31_13-MackenzieKelly(@mkelly007)_Twitter-Brave.thumb.jpg.00ecc88a720cc0810f6dca68d5691c6d.jpg

 

Man, it's a long way down from Leni Riefenstahl to Mackenzie Kelly. 

Man, it's a long way down from Leni Riefenstahl to Mackenzie Kelly. 

“Triumph of the Shrill!”
Nazis would have sent her to a labor camp to plow fields with her horn then dissected it.

Outstanding.
  • Author
12 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Oh the race is really heating up now.

Is it wrong that this is more interesting to me than the presidential race?

Presidential race doesn’t have topless pics lurking in the background.

at least, I hope it doesn’t 

Edited by atomheartbevo

trump-nude-troll-doll-chuck-williams-2.j

May be fake, I cant tell......these internet photo-shops are getting really good. 

 

Pretty spot on fitlump doll other than making the hair cover up the lump.

1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

Presidential race doesn’t have topless pics lurking in the background.

at least, I hope it doesn’t 

Melania?

Melania?
Those aren't lurking
Mein Lump!  I can walk!

(insert fitlump lingerie league training gif)

On 9/3/2020 at 11:54 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Either she is just so happening to bump into various Texas political creatures on her way to crashing and burning in her city council race, or she's playing a long game and plans on running for another office in two years.  And she's showing off her public safety skills during a pandemic.

 

 

How do fundraisers work with candidates at vastly different levels? Is it a 99-1 split? Does Sessions get 100% but she has an opportunity to talk to donors hoping they will throw some money her way? $25 or $50 to stop talking to them. I’ve never been to a fundraiser when candidates are there so I have no idea.

Is she just a bored housewife now or has she been legitimately employed somewhere these last few years?

  • Author
1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

Is she just a bored housewife now or has she been legitimately employed somewhere these last few years?

 

21 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

 

She uses the other spare room in her apartment for her candle making. 

 

28 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

 

The casting desk 

12 minutes ago, Deej said:

She uses the other spare room in her apartment for her candle making. 

 

 

A6433DF3-BD4B-4815-92BB-CD502FD55F04.jpeg

45 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Probably a stock photo and she didn't help start shit and she didn't get laid off. Bitch is lying. 

She never had a job to get laid off from.

16 minutes ago, Continental Op said:

How the fuck do you get laid off from a company you "helped start"? GTFO.  

Lying Kandi Burruss GIF

8 hours ago, Continental Op said:

How the fuck do you get laid off from a company you "helped start"? GTFO.  

I’m sure she’s using the most liberal definition of that term.

10 minutes ago, skittlebrau said:

I’m sure she’s using the most liberal definition of that term.

"Helped start" means she made the coffee in the mornings. 

  • Author

Good habits to engage in during a pandemic.  I'm sure a disaster scientist can chime in.

 

Her attempts to fit in with the movers and shakers in Austin business and politics are unrivaled except by her texts begging one-nut Lance to give it to her 15 seconds of attention.

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