Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

Featured Replies

  • Replies 5.8k
  • Views 465.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

Posted Images

1 minute ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

We are living in a simulation.

Agree.  As I sit here listening to meaningless standup calls while typing on this keyboard, I'm starting to wonder.  Maybe I don't have life figured out.  Lump is making $ moves while I listen to useless PMs, Scrum whatevers, and shitty coders fight with woke testing teams.  Fuck me. 

17 minutes ago, Shaggy3.0 said:

Agree.  As I sit here listening to meaningless standup calls while typing on this keyboard, I'm starting to wonder.  Maybe I don't have life figured out.  Lump is making $ moves while I listen to useless PMs, Scrum whatevers, and shitty coders fight with woke testing teams.  Fuck me. 

 

If selling your soul and whoring out your conscience to whatever comes around with absolutely no moral and ethical considerations = making life moves, then your perspective on the situation needs to change.

Hah.  She won.  I can’t believe.  Actually, I can. 
 
Didn’t matter what Flannigan did or didn’t do in this race.  Those goonish videos were the best campaign material he could ever have.   Dream material against an opponent. But it wasn’t going to matter.  People were and are sick of the shit. And, yeah, it probably starts with the homeless situation. There’s plenty, but you can start there.  By the day, it’s an unbridled embarrassment and growing by the day. We have $65MM / year dedicated to helping the homeless and this is the best we can do?  Expanding villages of filth, feces and garbage?  Hell, we have so much money in the homeless budget that we can’t even figure out how to spend all  of it.  Yet, look what we have. Every single, batshit crazy council member that continues to support and enable the homeless fiasco needs to be thrown out on their asses, yesterday.  And they need to land on top of Adler who should be thrown out first along with his oversized Sombrero. 
 
Yeah, Kelly is a clown.  Guess what?  She’s joining a clan of clowns.  In a circus whose ringleader is a wet ragged, hypocritical, slimy piece-of-shit.   Kelly better buckle up because she is going to get pummeled.  And I hope she reciprocates and rains down torment upon every one else in that chamber.   Because they all deserve each other.   Crap is crap. 
 
At least it’s over.  The prognostications can end and Bart Scott said it best.   We can now move on to stocking up on popcorn.  By the time Kelly is sworn in there won’t be enough of it. 

Ho Lee Shit. NW Austin voted to be represented by a box of rocks 

How anyone could read her site and think yeah it’s a good idea to elect her... JFC 

48 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

 

If selling your soul and whoring out your conscience to whatever comes around with absolutely no moral and ethical considerations = making life moves, then your perspective on the situation needs to change. simulation we're living in is spot on.

fify

38 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

Hey look a FitLump voter!

 
Not in the district and wouldn’t do so if the case.  Read the thread.  I think Kelly is pure garbage.
 
I don’t differentiate between crap, existing or to be sworn in, regardless of what side of the aisle it’s on.   But I pretty much hate all politicians and don't hesitate in saying so. 
 
 

January 6th is gonna be rough day for her supporters though despite her swearing in ceremony.

7 minutes ago, Lobo said:

January 6th is gonna be rough day for her supporters though despite her swearing in ceremony.

Odds on the Red Dress are at 1:1

If Lump is a red dress.

Well, hang me in rags. 

1 hour ago, phdhorn said:

Does anyone have a full-size gif of her doing her "football fast step" workout?  We need to post that prominently.

The only thing that's left to make this a perfect world is to find out down the line that Greg Casar is fucking around with her.  Please Number One, make it happen!

I've been looking for that gif for awhile now. Can't find it anywhere.

On 12/13/2020 at 9:34 AM, Fuck Tim Beck said:

Eo1gN5-W8AM0dPI?format=jpg&name=small

 

VuDeEGLYJ85uPoEG1VNorsXIpsrwaV3pH9xd7qOx

Wait, so this doctor is in jail for kiddie porn? 

2 hours ago, smokebomb said:

A few comments on this impending train wreck:

  1. A challenger seems to always have an advantage in a runoff, especially since their supporters are more likely to to make the effort to come out & vote. Just look at Cruz defeating Dewhurst. Once she made the runoff, she had a very real chance of winning. 
  2. No one should be surprised about the Statesman’s shitty reporting. Armybrat might be the only one here who can remember when they last had any journalistic ability. 
  3. I think she is an awful candidate & will likely do more harm than good for District 6 & Austin but she is a direct result of the Austin City council’s kumbaya, tone-deaf policies. 
  4. For decent a summary of her past internet history, including her Shaggy posts, a reddit poster linked to the following blog archive (may have been posted in this thread earlier): https://archive.is/ivW52

2020 - the gift that just keeps on giving. 

#3 is true & is the most telling about those who support the current city council fuckups.

(#2 - the AAS has never really touched on corruption of the local politicians. The LBJ cabal insured that tradition)

Can you guys repost the pic and name of the dude she took a picture with at the gym who is also in jail? Can't find that in the archive. It looks like the http://nokellyforaustin.com website was taken down.

 

Edited by Pasken

Austin City Council have themselves to blame for this creating this crazy bitch. Homeless free for all, the optics of defunding the police (Yes I know we did not defund the police), crazy expensive bond programs, teeing up every feel good social program, etc. If anything her crazy ass will balance out Cesar, the champion for every got damned thing progressive and the idiot who thinks that homeless have more rights than homeowning tax paying citizens.

CC is a circus now. She's just a new clown in that circus.

28 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

I just spammed all her support tweets with the archive link

 

https://archive.is/ivW52

Did you get removed by twitter?  I don't see any of those tweets.

1 minute ago, Wally Fairway said:

congrats - you are about to join the blocked by Kelly group on twitter 

Are elected officials allowed to block twitter accounts?

I think Leslie would have done a better job in city government.

 

This person holds power. We all need to stop and think about shit for a minute in a very real way. The endtimes have begun. 

Edited by Doc Reeves

52 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

She'll probably be governor some day and then the presidency.

This is accurate.

I wish I was kidding.

This is the model for new American leadership now.  It's only going to get more outlandish.

11 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

This person holds power. We all need to stop and think about shit for a minute in a very real way. The endtimes have begun. 

Begun?  Dude, we're well along the way.  She jumped on an already moving train.  It's only going to get more absurd.

3 hours ago, Celery Man said:

will be interesting to see what happens when you elect an amoral person incapable of serving to torpedo an institution you don't like

 

51 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Did you get removed by twitter?  I don't see any of those tweets.

Well, maybe I'm not as good at spamming as I thought. Or I'm blocked.

this is the most far-fetched event to actually happen in 2020.  no lie.

i'm stunned.  i'm pissed.  it's Fitlump.

1 minute ago, Jive Turkey said:

i'm stunned.  i'm pissed.  it's Fitlump.

Would make a fantastic T-shirt.

3 hours ago, Bob Lives! said:

Anyone have that blue avatar pic of her all painted up?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

spacer.png

 

spacer.png

spacer.png

 

I'm much more disappointed that Lugo is now on the school board than I am about Kelly winning.  My money is that Kelly steps down within the year.  Lugo will actively work to destroy what is left of an already crumbling school district, and can actually have an impact.  Kelly won't impact anything (unless that horn rams into something).

So i'm assuming she's required to attend city council meetings correct? What happens if she no-shows? Because you know she will. 

She looks 60 years old with that blue paint on her face. Yikes.

17 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

I'm much more disappointed that Lugo is now on the school board than I am about Kelly winning.  My money is that Kelly steps down within the year.  Lugo will actively work to destroy what is left of an already crumbling school district, and can actually have an impact.  Kelly won't impact anything (unless that horn rams into something).

She's not going to give up a guaranteed salary.  I think it's more likely she's indicted by the end of her term.

18 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

So i'm assuming she's required to attend city council meetings correct? What happens if she no-shows? Because you know she will. 

Most city charters have removal procedures for Council or board/commission members with excessive unexcused absences.

Or she'll do something to get the city sued and we'll be spending tax dollars to defend it in court.

So will this be the highest paying and most stable job she's ever had?

Hope she doesn't spend it all on paint and fake Harvard certificates.

What’s the recall process? I could see an attempt to get her recalled down the road. After she shows up hammered and wearing a random cast or bandage a few dozen times.

So when she posted her tits and said it wasn't like she was running for office, which one of you degenerates planted the seed and said she should totally run for office? Because I think we can blame him.

3 hours ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

Some of the comments are great:

 

 

El Jefe Grande coming through. 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.