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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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Born that way = botched abortion. Very fitting MK would identify with that.

  • 2 weeks later...
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I don't know about y'all, but I have no desire to belong to any club that would have me as a member.

 

She just posted something on Twitter, going to break into the real estate game. That resume is going to look like the definition of ADHD with all her career moves. At least she has the LFL to fall back on.
 

A realtor? Based on what I’ve seen of the profession lately, she’ll be storming the US Capitol any day now.

Nah, she’s taking a cue from Cabo Steve and getting into the bigtime grifting business.

A grown ass adult woman and city councilperson treats her Twitter like it's a fuckin' Myspace account. Good job north Austin.

Is she still fucking around with an iPhone 4? How are all these pictures so awful? Other than their subject.

10 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

I don't know about y'all, but I have no desire to belong to any club that would have me as a member.

 

Do you think she is really a member or did she just take a picture in front of the entrance and pull the typical Fitlump bullshit?

9 minutes ago, F250 said:

Do you think she is really a member or did she just take a picture in front of the entrance and pull the typical Fitlump bullshit?

Maybe her in-laws were already members?

Good thing my brother moved out of Balcones Village 10 years ago. He opted out of their country club 10 years before then after joining in 1971.

12 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

I don't know about y'all, but I have no desire to belong to any club that would have me as a member.

 

 

Much more likely Kelly belongs to this club:

5df35b7cc8f0293612c571c82ce1441b.jpg

 

 

I'm sure the CC fees were 100% paid by campaign slush funds. Gotta reach out to the voters!

I live in 78750 and Balcones Country Club is not exactly competing for members with Austin Country Club, Barton Creek, etc.  In fact, there are some VERY affordable memberships, if memory serves.  They had 2 courses in the past, but shuttered 1 around 2008 (if I recall correctly) when membership dropped precipitously.  The remaining 18-hole course is "so so" but I'd rather play Hancock, to be honest.  [Disclosure - I stink at golf and when I play, I prefer to play 9]

That all said, I like seeing BCC adding members, as it makes it less likely that it will be sold off to a random developer.

I'd choose Balcones over Peter Pan.  More parking at Balcones and the driving range is a little better.  You can only drive 1 or 2 at Peter Pan before the manager offers to throw you out.

Edited by boilerhorn

"BCC? I thought it said BBC." - Fitlump

56 minutes ago, boilerhorn said:

 

I'd choose Balcones over Peter Pan.  More parking at Balcones and the driving range is a little better.  You can only drive 1 or 2 at Peter Pan before the manager offers to throw you out.

 

I still think it's a tragedy that Butler International and Peter Pan never got together for a hole that starts on a Butler Tee Box and ends at the T-Rex. A nice six iron over Barton Springs Road. Preferably during ACL Fest.

15 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

 

I still think it's a tragedy that Butler International and Peter Pan never got together for a hole that starts on a Butler Tee Box and ends at the T-Rex. A nice six iron over Barton Springs Road. Preferably during ACL Fest.

Actually you would get a 2 stroke  bonus if you laid up in the El Alma parking lot and hit a rat with your ball.

I priced Balcones Country Club last year. It was like $1200 initiation and like $250/month. That was the golf rate. I am sure she found some "Social Membership" for like $50/month. 

It's not like she is breaking the bank here.

Especially since this $75k/year job is the best money she's made in her life since cam whoring.

Someone told her to quit getting hammered at Shennanigans and The Mill if she wants to keep climbing that political ladder. This gives her a place to drink where she can still swerve herself home and maybe not kill anyone while drunk driving. 

Edited by Orange&White
golf/gold

53 minutes ago, Orange&White said:

I priced Balcones Country Club last year. It was like $1200 initiation and like $250/month. That was the golf rate. I am sure she found some "Social Membership" for like $50/month. 

It's not like she is breaking the bank here.

Especially since this $75k/year job is the best money she's made in her life since cam whoring.

Someone told her to quit getting hammered at Shennanigans and The Mill if she wants to keep climbing that political ladder. This gives her a place to drink where she can still swerve herself home and maybe not kill anyone while drunk driving. 

This is the first legit job she's ever had that paid more than $24 Grand a year. She's fucking RICH. Today, it's a country club membership, tomorrow it will be a leased Benz. She'll be up to her eyeballs in debt before her first re-election campaign. 

31 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

This is the first legit job she's ever had that paid more than $24 Grand a year. She's fucking RICH. Today, it's a country club membership, tomorrow it will be a leased Benz. She'll be up to her eyeballs in debt before her first re-election campaign. 

thats where the real estate grift comes in.  what better place to meet potential buyers/sellers than the local CC bar.  "Its always a great time to buy or sell!"

 

2 hours ago, Orange&White said:

I priced Balcones Country Club last year. It was like $1200 initiation and like $250/month. That was the golf rate. I am sure she found some "Social Membership" for like $50/month. 

 

Yeah, she's not going there to golf. There are some old tennis courts & a shitty pool/clubhouse (god knows how that's survived; it was a dump in the late '80s).

Plus she probably got the retired military dude who took her to some "fancy" event there a few years ago to sponsor her & gave him a beej for a discount on the initiation fee.

I hear they have a pond there.  And a pool.  Could work out nice for the homeless.  Natural Springs.

2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Yeah, she's not going there to golf. There are some old tennis courts & a shitty pool/clubhouse (god knows how that's survived; it was a dump in the late '80s).

There was a huge recession in the area in the late 80s.  Everything was a dump, esp. in far NW Austin.  Hell, houses on the hills on 360 were attainable to young IBM engineers then.  And we all know IBM was not making their young engineers rich at the time.  The pool is fairly well kept, as is the clubhouse.  It's less impressive from the outside.  If memory serves, many of the memberships have a minimum spend at the club.  That's where fitlump will hold court.

 

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

I hear they have a pond there.  And a pool.  Could work out nice for the homeless.  Natural Springs.

 

2 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

We should start a secret fund to relocate homeless to the golf course there.  

All you funny guys with aspirational goals for the local homeless can go pound salt.  If there is anything positive about Adler's idiotic handling of the homeless, it has been allowing them to live in plain sight.  In the past, just about any hike I would take would expose a new "hidden" homeless camp in the area.  Oh, and screw Adler, for good measure.

Wait, are we funny, wrong about Adler, right about homelessness solutions (or lack thereof), or supposed to go pound sodium chloride instead of sand?  We are very confused.  Do you think we're fitlump fans or Adler fans or both or neither?  

10 hours ago, boilerhorn said:

There was a huge recession in the area in the late 80s.  Everything was a dump, esp. in far NW Austin.  Hell, houses on the hills on 360 were attainable to young IBM engineers then.  And we all know IBM was not making their young engineers rich at the time.  The pool is fairly well kept, as is the clubhouse.  It's less impressive from the outside.  If memory serves, many of the memberships have a minimum spend at the club.  That's where fitlump will hold court.

 

 

All you funny guys with aspirational goals for the local homeless can go pound salt.  If there is anything positive about Adler's idiotic handling of the homeless, it has been allowing them to live in plain sight.  In the past, just about any hike I would take would expose a new "hidden" homeless camp in the area.  Oh, and screw Adler, for good measure.

Look, man, I’ve lived in this shithole since 1984.   One of my previous jobs was busting dragworms and keeping them out of places like the Zetas parking lots.   It’s not happening.  

Btw, I agree with you on the point about Adler.   You didn’t see homeless people at Southpark Meadows and the Braker and 183 overpass in the old days, because those places didn’t exist.  

Edited by Judge Roybeanbag

5 hours ago, dcar00 said:

thats where the real estate grift comes in.  what better place to meet potential buyers/sellers than the local CC bar.  "Its always a great time to buy or sell!"

ferengi rule of acquisition #34: war is good for business

ferengi rule of acquisition #35: peace is good for business

5 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

We should start a secret fund to relocate homeless to the golf course there.  

i'm in for $100 to randomly concentrate homeless in adler's neighborhood

On 3/8/2021 at 4:31 PM, ulukinatme said:

She just posted something on Twitter, going to break into the real estate game. That resume is going to look like the definition of ADHD with all her career moves. At least she has the LFL to fall back on.

 

The next Jenna Ryan!

On 3/10/2021 at 7:49 AM, Deej said:

Need a Surly Happy Hour that coincides with one of her little talks. The question and answer part would be interesting. 

How much is a picture of you with a sharpie?

This guy is gonna be a contender on any "punchable face" rankings

 

15 minutes ago, Blotto said:

This guy is gonna be a contender on any "punchable face" rankings

 

She's got the worst receding hairline of any council member.

  • Author
11 minutes ago, Deej said:

She's got the worst receding hairline of any council member.

Holy shit, you could apply that to everybody she takes photos with

 

 

  • Author
12 minutes ago, Deej said:

She's got the worst receding hairline of any council member.

Seriously, you can just apply it to almost everybody she takes photos with

 

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  • Popular Post

Jabba the Hutto

Edited by atomheartbevo

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Worst. Quinceañera. Ever.

6 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Seriously, you can just apply it to almost everybody she takes photos with

 

That moment when you realize the day a tree fell on you wasn't the worst day of your life. 

  • Author
2 minutes ago, Deej said:

That moment when you realize the day a tree fell on you wasn't the worst day of your life. 

"Squint your eyes if you want us to pull her away from you!"

1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

So incredible she doesn’t even know her name! 

A.  Eric Bana

B.  Edward Norton 

C.  Lou Ferrigno 

D.  Mark Ruffalo 

E.  This Woman

Who played the best "Incredible Hutto"?  

8 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Cheesah beecha wonky Chewbacca!

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

A.  Eric Bana

B.  Edward Norton 

C.  Lou Ferrigno 

D.  Mark Ruffalo 

E.  This Woman

Who played the best "Incredible Hutto"?  

E.  I mean, the advances in CGI these days.

9 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

 

There are times when that knot on her forehead looks like a life form trying to get out.

11 hours ago, Blotto said:

This guy is gonna be a contender on any "punchable face" rankings

 

That dude's left hand...where is it?  And is it holding a fistful of sharpies?

 

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