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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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11 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Seriously, you can just apply it to almost everybody she takes photos with

 

And her right hand.  I think we know what it's doing back there.

 

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that fat bitch should trademark "the incredible hutto council woman"

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

How does anyone not immediately see what a grifting idiot she is?

Birds of the same feather...

On 3/23/2021 at 6:44 PM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

a beej for a discount on the initiation fee.

That works?  

1 hour ago, F250 said:

Birds of the same feather...

 

She's small potatoes. 

4 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

How does anyone not immediately see what a grifting idiot she is?

new to politics eh?

At least she found a new dress

  • 2 weeks later...

Can someone give me a complete cliff's notes/timeline if you can about this person and her involvement with surly (was she on shaggy too?), Lance, and how this city council thing came to be? I know general info but I don't have the context I would like. I ask because she is becoming a damn hero in Wilco where I live.

Edited by used2b

She showed up a while back bragging about a new rack she was about to get. Pretty soon everyone figured out she was a completely vapid moron and has treated her as such since. Showed her tits on the shag, was a cam model, pathological liar, completely full of shit human being. Congrats on having her as an elected official, but I guess that’s how things are these days.

16 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

She showed up a while back bragging about a new rack she was about to get. Pretty soon everyone figured out she was a completely vapid moron and has treated her as such since. Showed her tits on the shag, was a cam model, pathological liar, completely full of shit human being. Congrats on having her as an elected official, but I guess that’s how things are these days.

Thanks. I also just read this written about her in 2014 https://www.dailydot.com/debug/mackenzie-kelly-austin-gamergate/

Based on that info she has always seemed to have/needs lots of online attention from different places. I guess shaggy/surly was just another supply for her.

I also didn't realize she had run before.

 

 

For people like me who didn't know how she made it to shaggy in the first place:

 

23 hours ago, tbone_ said:

She showed up a while back bragging about a new rack she was about to get. Pretty soon everyone figured out she was a completely vapid moron and has treated her as such since. Showed her tits on the shag, was a cam model, pathological liar, completely full of shit human being. Congrats on having her as an elected official, but I guess that’s how things are these days.

How did her shaggy history not shit-can a political career? That’s one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen. 

On 3/24/2021 at 8:02 PM, TexasEd said:

How much is a picture of you with a sharpie?

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#LFL #Draftchoice #waslyingaboutit #notshockedthough

/nobert

On 4/4/2021 at 1:12 PM, used2b said:

Can someone give me a complete cliff's notes/timeline if you can about this person and her involvement with surly (was she on shaggy too?), Lance, and how this city council thing came to be? I know general info but I don't have the context I would like. I ask because she is becoming a damn hero in Wilco where I live.

She fucked around and found out. 

  • Author
2 hours ago, El Diablo said:

She fucked around and found out. 

No, she fucked around and we are finding out.  

Pretty mean to Buccee to compare him to fitlump.

9 minutes ago, demos said:

Pretty mean to Buccee to compare him to fitlump.

Buccee = aggy

On 4/5/2021 at 12:35 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

How did her shaggy history not shit-can a political career? That’s one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen. 

1. Post Trump-era.

2. Would be perceived as sexism and media trying to stay far from that.

3. The entire situation with her even beyond Shaggy is crazy, but that seems to be a trend/feature in a certain party right now.

On 4/4/2021 at 1:24 PM, tbone_ said:

She showed up a while back bragging about a new rack she was about to get. Pretty soon everyone figured out she was a completely vapid moron and has treated her as such since. Showed her tits on the shag, was a cam model, pathological liar, completely full of shit human being. Congrats on having her as an elected official, but I guess that’s how things are these days.

 

didn't @MissingInAction attempt to pick her up a the bar / bang her ?

9 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

didn't @MissingInAction attempt to pick her up a the bar / bang her ?

She was supposed to meet me at kung fu lounge but didn't show.

Stood up by lump. One of many low points in my worthless life.

Edited by MissingInAction

That's one of the saddest sentences I've ever read.

On another topic---Texas looks poised to pickup 3 more U.S. Congressional seats here in a few months.  Can we gaslight her into thinking she should run for one of those seats?  Because of the explosive growth not necessarily within, but all around Austin...they're gonna gerrymander the hell outta this area.  We have 6 Congressional districts that touch some part of the Austin MSA.  I think it goes up to 7 for 2022.  And I think Fitlump is our gal for one of those districts (she doesn't have to physically live in the one she's running for by law).  

1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

She was supposed to meet me at kung fu lounge but didn't show.

Stood up by lump. One of many low points in my worthless life.

Oh God, the memories:

spacer.png

 

/nobertbutromeo

She was supposed to meet me at kung fu lounge but didn't show.
Stood up by lump. One of many low points in my worthless life.

At least your Username checks out
37 minutes ago, RamjetFDO said:

Oh God, the memories:

spacer.png

 

/nobertbutromeo

Hahahaha. Funny, I was texting Northloop during the entire adventure so he could keep the shag updated. My obamaphone didn't have innernets.

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

That's one of the saddest sentences I've ever read.

On another topic---Texas looks poised to pickup 3 more U.S. Congressional seats here in a few months.  Can we gaslight her into thinking she should run for one of those seats?  Because of the explosive growth not necessarily within, but all around Austin...they're gonna gerrymander the hell outta this area.  We have 6 Congressional districts that touch some part of the Austin MSA.  I think it goes up to 7 for 2022.  And I think Fitlump is our gal for one of those districts (she doesn't have to physically live in the one she's running for by law).  

Conjecture I've read is they'll pack the ultra blue areas of Austin in one district for Doggett or an AOC-type successor and then spread thin the purple 'burbs as much as possible among myriad ruby red rural districts.

Back on point, I was F5ing my way through that evening hoping that MIA would score.

28 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Didn't you have a terminator version of this with my BAC in the HUD?

Ha ha!  YES!!!  I forgot that version!

 

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She's totally running for higher offices
 

God help us
4 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

She's totally running for higher offices

 

This is the most predictable development in the history of ever.

She's going to win a Texas house seat or an actual congressional seat.   Easily.  Like, walk-right-in easily.  Because this timeline.

Kelly voted to obstruct the Oak Hill Y Fix that has been decades in the making. Not sure I understand why but whatever. It still passed.

This is fractal.  No matter how far we drill down, even to bullshit Austin City Council levels, the lunacy of the modern elected official is on full display.

We are so fucked as a country.

On 4/11/2021 at 3:04 PM, Deej said:

FitLump for president of Andorra in 2028.

Fify

6 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

This is fractal.  No matter how far we drill down, even to bullshit Austin City Council & HOA levels, the lunacy of the modern elected official is on full display.

We are so fucked as a country.

Fify

On 4/8/2021 at 8:58 AM, MissingInAction said:

She was supposed to meet me at kung fu lounge but didn't show.

Stood up by lump. One of many low points in my worthless life.

 

On 4/11/2021 at 3:04 PM, Deej said:

FitLump for president in 2028.

I think this fits on several levels Swamp, Presidents of the United States, "Is this lump outta my head" and of course the title. It could be her campaign rally theme music.  

 

 

Edited by TexasEd

6 minutes ago, Dr. Beeper said:

Haven’t read this thread since she won the election. Randomly, I had a nightmare last night that Lump was coming onto me hard. She was pregnant, and was sniffing some milk drink infused with Lysol to get drunk. Apparently the vapors would not harm the baby and she wanted to party. Terrible sleep. 

I would still go get a couple of penicillin shots and bath in bleach, just to be sure.   

  • Author
1 hour ago, Dr. Beeper said:

Haven’t read this thread since she won the election. Randomly, I had a nightmare last night that Lump was coming onto me hard. She was pregnant, and was sniffing some milk drink infused with Lysol to get drunk. Apparently the vapors would not harm the baby and she wanted to party. Terrible sleep. 

Did you drink some Lysol before you went to sleep?

Haven’t read this thread since she won the election. Randomly, I had a nightmare last night that Lump was coming onto me hard. She was pregnant, and was sniffing some milk drink infused with Lysol to get drunk. Apparently the vapors would not harm the baby and she wanted to party. Terrible sleep. 

You might want to see someone about your brain disorder.
Haven’t read this thread since she won the election. Randomly, I had a nightmare last night that Lump was coming onto me hard. She was pregnant, and was sniffing some milk drink infused with Lysol to get drunk. Apparently the vapors would not harm the baby and she wanted to party. Terrible sleep. 

Bad news: that wasn’t a dream; that really happened.

Dreamed I was in a Western Auto store that sold ammo and they had shelves full of it.

That’s how I knew it was a dream.

she's starting to get, not sure I'd say a following, but get mentioned in stories by right-wing sites somewhat frequently.

https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/bryan-preston/2021/04/12/austin-police-officer-shot-on-duty-just-one-city-council-member-gives-him-backup-n1439347

Quote

Austin Police Officer Shot On Duty; Just One City Council Member Gives Him Backup

Early Friday morning, an Austin, Texas, police officer was shot in the line of duty in the city’s northeast. KXAN reports:

According to Interim Austin Police Chief Joseph Chacon, it began when someone called 911, saying someone in another car was shooting at them. Minutes later, officers found the 911 caller, who had not been shot. Officers then found the vehicle of the person they believed fired the shots.

Police say officers got behind the vehicle, turned on their lights and stopped the vehicle. As they exited their vehicle, the person in the car began shooting at them. Two officers returned fire.

One officer and the suspect both suffered gunshot wounds.

The suspect, who has not yet been named, opened fire on the officers and wounded one. The incident could have gone so much worse than it did. Any police call or stop can turn violent in a flash.

Friday’s incident marked the 4th APD officer shot on duty in 2021. That’s double the number of APD officers shot across all of 2020, according to the Austin American-Statesman.

A source familiar with the details of the shooting tells PJ Media that it was a “miracle” that both officers survived. Split-second action based on their gunfighting training saved them both, according to the source. The officers’ body cameras were activated and captured video of the shooting.

“Having watched all that video, it’s chilling, and we are lucky right now that we don’t have more people that are injured, particularly our officers, who in the face of this danger displayed bravery,” interim police chief Joseph Chacon said in a press briefing after the shooting.

The officer was taken to a local hospital and underwent surgery Friday morning. He has gone home and is expected to make a full recovery. Both officers involved are on administrative leave pending investigations of the shooting, per APD policy.

While the officer was in the hospital, most of the Austin City Council did not visit him or offer public support for him. Councilwoman Mackenzie Kelly (District 6) has only been on the job since January. Kelly visited the wounded officer and showed APD support by stopping by the headquarters of the Austin Police Association.

Austin Austin Councilwoman Mackenzie Kelly visits APA after visiting a wounded APD officer who was shot in the line of duty.

Mayor Steve Adler did issue a tweet (about two days later, after his silence was noticed).

Austin’s city council voted unanimously to defund its police department by about $150 million in August 2020. Since that time, violent crime has skyrocketed in the city. The Texas Municipal Police Association made a direct connection between that vote and the rise in violence across Austin that has seen four officers shot in the first quarter of the year.

The Texas Municipal Police Association (TMPA) stated it supports any [new anti-violent crime] initiatives out there, but say it’s possible the increase in violent crimes may be a pitfall of budget cuts.

“We need to renew our efforts to provide law enforcement agencies with the resources they need to do their jobs,” Kevin Lawrence, the TMPA’S executive director, said. “Kudos to the interim chief for making this effort, and we’ll keep our fingers crossed.”

Just last week, PJ Media exclusively reported that APD is suffering a flood of officers leaving the force in the wake of the council’s massive budget cuts. If separations continue at their present pace, APD could lose about 10% of its officers in 2021. With police academy classes suspended until at least June, APD has no way to replace any of the officers it is losing. Friday’s shooting takes two more officers out of action for an undetermined amount of time.

this is all to say that it seems like she's slowly gaining a recognition among conservatives. if it keeps up she could develop a following.

Edited by Viper

4 minutes ago, Viper said:

she's starting to get, not sure I'd say a following, but get mentioned in stories by right-wing sites somewhat frequently.

https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/bryan-preston/2021/04/12/austin-police-officer-shot-on-duty-just-one-city-council-member-gives-him-backup-n1439347

this is all to say that it seems like she's slowly gaining a recognition among conservatives. if it keeps up she could develop a following.

Why are they so quick to follow grifters?

24 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Why are they so quick to follow grifters?

I think it's more guys that can't get laid thinking they have a shot with a heinous whore. 

  • Author
3 hours ago, Orange&White said:

"Heinous Whore" would be a great death metal band name.

It rolls off the tongue better than “The Austin Servant Girl Annihilator” 

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