Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

Featured Replies

4 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Surly needs to design a challenge coin and send it to her.....

A sharpie in the ass is an absolute must.

  • Replies 5.8k
  • Views 465.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

Posted Images

On 4/22/2021 at 4:23 PM, RPM said:

I have to admit I'm severely disappointed in Austin. They let an obvious con/attention whore get a council seat. This was the most obvious slamdunk loss ever, but you elected her. No outing of her attention horse past. You guys get what you deserve with this one. Somebody has to nut up and expose her.

Kelly is slime but small potatoes vs the shit that is and has been running the city but has yet to be "exposed".  Pulling back the curtain on anyone in this city should start with the wet rag but it never will.

Not sure what planet you're on.

48 minutes ago, Wally Pryor said:

Kelly is slime but small potatoes vs the shit that is and has been running the city but has yet to be "exposed".  Pulling back the curtain on anyone in this city should start with the wet rag but it never will.

Why do you hate Robert Barnstone?

She's already outgrown her new dress.

2 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Surly needs to design a challenge coin and send it to her.....

Her office is below water level on Town Lake?

  • Author

I'm honestly surprised she's pushing vaccines. Maybe that online Harvard training paid off?

 

22 hours ago, Deej said:

Her office is below water level on Town Lake?

Rep this man for saying Town Lake.

  • Author
4 hours ago, South Austin said:

Syphilis vaccine?

MLR Vaccine - Measles, Lump, Rubella.

An update on Jimmy Flannigan, the city council member that lost to Kelly...

https://theaustinbulldog.org/flannigan-loses-election-lands-plum-job/

The day after he lost, he was offered a job as president of Austin Convention Enterprises.  This is a non-profit that runs the city of Austin owned downtown Hilton hotel.

The president is the only employee of the non-profit.  Flannigan does not actual run the hotel -- the non-profit hires Hilton to do that, he just maintains the non-profit.  This involves working on the website, preparing for once monthly board meetings, working with vendors associated with the non-profit.

The job is limited to 20 hours per week and his compensation was set at $140,000 per year, plus $6000 for health insurance.

As a council member, Flannigan voted to appoint the three directors that then hired him and to create the position that he now holds. Two of the directors donated to his reelection campaign.

 

Rep this man for saying Town Lake.

It’s not town lake?

It got renamed Lady Bird Lake a while back. The only thing more annoying than people calling it Lady Bird Lake is when people complain about other people calling it Lady Bird Lake.

11 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

It got renamed Lady Bird Lake a while back. The only thing more annoying than people calling it Lady Bird Lake is when people complain about other people calling it Lady Bird Lake.

That’s not as annoying as people complaining about people complaining about calling it Lady Bird Lake.

1 minute ago, South Austin said:

That’s not as annoying as people complaining about people complaining about calling it Lady Bird Lake.

Don't even get me started on 19th Street and 1st Street!

1st Street is the street that runs parallel to Town Lake on it's north shore. The Congress Avenue Bridge crosses Town Lake and intersects 1st Street.

What about the intersection of 1st & 1st?  

On another note, that doesn't surprise me about Jimmy Flannigan.  What was surprising is how quickly after his narrow defeat he took that position, almost as if he had been planning to lose the whole time.  

12 minutes ago, Lobo said:

On another note, that doesn't surprise me about Jimmy Flannigan.  What was surprising is how quickly after his narrow defeat he took that position, almost as if he had been planning to lose the whole time.  

Sounds like a much better gig than working with the other idiots on City Council.

He was as crooked as the rest of 'em, but he was a lot smarter and a fuckton less condescending.  Ellis, Flannigan, and Renteria are nice in real life.  I don't know anything about Madison, Kelly, or Fuentes.  Tovo and Alter are a mixed bag, but are very smart. Casar, Kitchen, Pool, and Adler are all especially troubling.  They're all up-and-down in public and private complete, utter, and overwhelming assholes of the highest order.  None of them is particularly smart.  In fact Casar and Pool suffer from extreme versions of Dunning-Krueger.  And all are beyond corrupt and morally bankrupt beyond the pale.  In most other countries on this planet, they would have been rounded up and imprisoned. 

And all of them suffer from condescending bitch resting face.  And what's the cure for that?  You guessed it!  Buying hotels!

1 hour ago, DalTxHornFan said:

Don't even get me started on 19th Street and 1st Street!

Mayor Waller might have a word with you about Pecan Street.

I’m assuming that all of the downtown streets will be renamed by the time I’m 70. I love this town, but fuck it sometimes.

It got renamed Lady Bird Lake a while back.

If they say Lady Bird Lake, it’s a good way to know who the interlopers are.
  • Author
21 minutes ago, demos said:


If they say Lady Bird Lake, it’s a good way to know who the interlopers are.

tenor.gif

I gotta say her first 4 months in office have been a grand disappointment. Just being a good time deaf incompetent attention whore doesn't move the insanity needle the way she's fully capable of doing.

  • Author
15 minutes ago, Pimphand said:

I gotta say her first 4 months in office have been a grand disappointment. Just being a good time deaf incompetent attention whore doesn't move the insanity needle the way she's fully capable of doing.

Agreed.

Sounds like she's got staffers who are reining her crazier shit in.  She's got some kind of marching orders to stick to certain topics, and don't stray from the script.

The thing I hate, is I know people in her district that like her, and they have no idea about her background.

11 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Agreed.

Sounds like she's got staffers who are reining her crazier shit in.  She's got some kind of marching orders to stick to certain topics, and don't stray from the script.

The thing I hate, is I know people in her district that like her, and they have no idea about her background.

Yeah something has got to give... My guess is when it does give it will be glorious and we will finally get the shenanigans we so richly deserve. Until then just more WTFs.

Previous post meant to say tone deaf not time deaf.

2 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Agreed.

Sounds like she's got staffers who are reining her crazier shit in.  She's got some kind of marching orders to stick to certain topics, and don't stray from the script.

The thing I hate, is I know people in her district that like her, and they have no idea about her background.

it's quite beautiful and emphasizes that every sentient structure has a few camwhore, kid-neglecting, fake job history, and back alley hemispherectomy blemishes in their histories which strengthens the rich tapestry of this simulacrum.

Well, if she does have handlers, they need to work on this more than anything.

me.png.82096ad618218e8abbadd612e0745275.png

I still don't know why Flannigan didn't use all her bullshit social media history and outright false information against her.  It does kinda speak to the idea that he didn't actually want to win.

Why worry about winning when you have a cushy job lined up

  • Author
13 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:

Whose fault is that?

Certainly not Surly's!

  • Author
On 4/24/2021 at 5:42 PM, South Austin said:

Rep this man for saying Town Lake.

Should have been named Townes (Van Zandt) Lake.

 

  • Author
8 hours ago, South Austin said:

I’m assuming that all of the downtown streets will be renamed by the time I’m 70. I love this town, but fuck it sometimes.

Mackenzie Kelly Avenue will not have a single pothole.

But holy shit will it be bumpy.

And the pavement will inexplicably change color from AM rush hour to PM rush hour.

11 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Should have been named Townes (Van Zandt) Lake.

 

Lake Shibboleth

12 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Mackenzie Kelly Avenue will not have a single pothole.

But holy shit will it be bumpy.

With speed bumps?

18 hours ago, demos said:

Why worry about winning when you have a cushy job lined up

At twice the salary and only pretend work. 

On 4/25/2021 at 11:01 AM, Lobo said:

He was as crooked as the rest of 'em, but he was a lot smarter and a fuckton less condescending.  Ellis, Flannigan, and Renteria are nice in real life.  I don't know anything about Madison, Kelly, or Fuentes.  Tovo and Alter are a mixed bag, but are very smart. Casar, Kitchen, Pool, and Adler are all especially troubling.  They're all up-and-down in public and private complete, utter, and overwhelming assholes of the highest order.  None of them is particularly smart.  In fact Casar and Pool suffer from extreme versions of Dunning-Krueger.  And all are beyond corrupt and morally bankrupt beyond the pale.  In most other countries on this planet, they would have been rounded up and imprisoned. 

And all of them suffer from condescending bitch resting face.  And what's the cure for that?  You guessed it!  Buying hotels!

Jimmy and I went to elementary school together, so I'm not going to say a bad thing about him.

Which Prop E vote would make it less likely for someone like Fitlump to win a race?  I'm guessing yes to avoid low turnout run-offs?

And is 11 idiots better/worse than 10 idiots on council?

 

The odd/even thing was really meant to balance out in case a strong mayor platform emerges.  For a city growing as fast as ours in certain places, not a bad idea to evaluate every 10 years how many districts and how they're drawn.  Plus helps spread the number of constituents to more manageable numbers.  But yeah, a major U.S. city, you never want to get above 15 total voting members, IMO.  Unless you get to a mega-city like New York or Chicago (50+ there).  I feel like our neighborhood just south of the River near downtown doesn't have much in common with the rest of our district that is more "suburban" in feel/look/distance/demography

Holy crap, 100 to 1 says that's a freaking lie.

Kelly: So I regrettably tweeted that out of anger and frustration for what happened to me earlier that day. I was nearly assaulted by somebody who was homeless.

Quote

'Well, I'm also kind of the mayor of the Republicans.' 

gross gag GIF by Anime Crimes Division

On 4/25/2021 at 11:01 AM, Lobo said:

He was as crooked as the rest of 'em, but he was a lot smarter and a fuckton less condescending.  Ellis, Flannigan, and Renteria are nice in real life.  I don't know anything about Madison, Kelly, or Fuentes.  Tovo and Alter are a mixed bag, but are very smart. Casar, Kitchen, Pool, and Adler are all especially troubling.  They're all up-and-down in public and private complete, utter, and overwhelming assholes of the highest order.  None of them is particularly smart.  In fact Casar and Pool suffer from extreme versions of Dunning-Krueger.  And all are beyond corrupt and morally bankrupt beyond the pale.  In most other countries on this planet, they would have been rounded up and imprisoned. 

And all of them suffer from condescending bitch resting face.  And what's the cure for that?  You guessed it!  Buying hotels!

Flannigan is a grifter of the highest order and not a bright bulb in general.  Alter actually was one of 2 that voted against removing the camping ban but she is a wolf in sheep's clothing IMO.  If I had to bet, she'll agree with telling the police not to enforce vagrancy and loitering statutes and she's all in on buying hotels with our money.

On 4/25/2021 at 8:52 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Mackenzie Kelly Avenue will not have a single pothole.

But holy shit will it be bumpy.

Narrator:   They were lumps.

Was her old username really FitLump?  Did she ever give a reason for why she picked that?  

6 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Was her old username really FitLump?  Did she ever give a reason for why she picked that?  

It was FitLove. FitLump became her de facto username.

Edited by Deej

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.