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Hey well I dont know if you heard already but we been having some Family trouble's . I have recently been Detain and Arrested by the Police for shop lifting at the United . But this is bull shit for several reasons here let me explain to you why this is bull shit.

 

1 .First off I had only been in the bathroom not the rest of the Store

 

2. Second off what I allegably only stole was the toilet paper that was already in that bathroom .

3. Its bullshit first if all because it can't be stealing because they put it out their for everybody to use as they need . There is no Posted Notice that there is a limit

4 Second what if A Person has some kind of emergency because of an exceptional size turd  or their is a ton of gravy or some other Medical Issue that is not available to be said because of Hippa . It is a right to keep that a secret

So do I have a good Case they wan't me too Please but I dont know what that is . I have too go to Court tomorrow

  • Author

Also they charge me with Shop Lifting not Theft . But it can't be shop Lifting if it isnt for Sell

McHenry vs South United Distributors is existing case law that you can use for your defense. In summary, it clearly states that using toilet paper and soap in a public restroom is A-OK and CANNOT be considered shoplifting with or without Tortuous Interference.

Tell the Judge!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

20 hours ago, BottleRocket said:

Pee the fifth

Put the whole septic system on trial.  

20 hours ago, Handcruser said:

McHenry vs South United Distributors is existing case law that you can use for your defense. In summary, it clearly states that using toilet paper and soap in a public restroom is A-OK and CANNOT be considered shoplifting with or without Tortuous Interference.

Tell the Judge!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

We need to know if this is your specialty area of law practice before advising Chad as to whether or not this is useful info.

  • 1 month later...

If he had to shit you must acquit

Edited by 'stache

  • 1 month later...
1 hour ago, Scraps said:

Update?

Update? Hell, I want to know if he has sold the movie rights yet. Imagine the casting possibilities.

  • 2 months later...
  • Author
On 10/16/2020 at 4:52 PM, Scraps said:

Update?

I am currently Not Aware sense I have not heard back from the court after my Trial

I know a guy who is A Ware if you need any assistance. Won the Heisman back in like '91 or so.

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