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Yeah, those corporate mobs are pretty tough to fight against. 

Name them the Washington crack heads after their favorite former Mayor.

Washington DC Football Team? Go the soccer route and make it more about the city branding?

In honor of NowThis I submit....Washington Peggers

On 7/6/2020 at 8:49 AM, Rockethorn1978 said:

So Redskins have to change? I don't watch the news anymore but has anything been said about the Chiefs? What about the Cowboys? Seems like everything is getting cancelled by the mob so what about those racist Cowboys that roamed this land back in the 1800's? I saw the Indians stuff was curious about other team names? Texans? there has been a time Texans were racist so that represents a racist right? 

Something like 1 out of 4 cowboys were black. That’s about the inverse of the Cowboys team. I’m not sure if that hurts or helps. 

Dallas Cowboys - A mutant half boy, half cow is tragic and shouldn’t be used as a mascot.

 

Jacksonville Jaguars - Jaguars are driven by evil rich billionaires as they run over poor people.

Los Angeles Chargers - We don't think anyone who has faced down a line of charging riot police would find this name the least bit funny.

5 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

They give you cancer

But only the 5G ones.

17 hours ago, notre dame joe said:

Washingmob Appeasers

I mean it is a sports franchise name. The  whole point of sports franchise names is to appeal to the mob.

10 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Something like 1 out of 4 cowboys were black. That’s about the inverse of the Cowboys team. I’m not sure if that hurts or helps. 

These slippery slope arguments are really tiresome. Sure Cowboy and Chiefs might be offensive if you really contort your mind around and squint but Redskins was just flat out a slur. It is ridiculous "how can you name a team the Jets?! THE NAZIS WERE THE FIRST TO INVENT JET PLANES!!!111" I mean don't be an idiot. There is a difference between looking around for something offensive and avoiding using obvious slurs.

Edited by Valmy77

Redtails, Redhawks, Redasses,  who gives a fk?

Ugh why is this taking so long?  I'm really curious to see which completely bland "strong" name and logo their corporate marketing committee comes up with.  It will surely strike fear into the hearts of their opponents.  

 

Someone up thread (I think it was here) is right:  they should go with the MiLB approach and not take everything so seriously.  This shit is supposed to be fun, isn't it?  But I guess the superfans and some of the weirdo players who GO TO WAR every Sunday wouldn't like that too much.

Edited by MadBurgerMaker

Just for spite I would just be called Washington.  No nickname.  Or, Washington Team.  

On 7/13/2020 at 7:25 PM, Pasken said:

Washington DC Football Team? Go the soccer route and make it more about the city branding?

I've been saying this for a while. There's no name out there they could use that will satisfy everyone and they've been getting heat for years to change it. They should just not have one, go with Washington FC or DCFC. 

Or call themselves the Federals. The other teams will shake with fear when the Feds raid their house/place of business.

Why make it a whole thing putting out an official announcement you're dropping the Redskins brand before you have the new name lined up?  Why not announce both at once?  What a waste of time.

I thought they changed something a few years ago to prevent people from just sitting on names to extort money from others. I thought you had to actually be using the name in commerce to gain protection.

12 hours ago, MadBurgerMaker said:

Ugh why is this taking so long?  I'm really curious to see which completely bland "strong" name and logo their corporate marketing committee comes up with.  It will surely strike fear into the hearts of their opponents.  

 

Someone up thread (I think it was here) is right:  they should go with the MiLB approach and not take everything so seriously.  This shit is supposed to be fun, isn't it?  But I guess the superfans and some of the weirdo players who GO TO WAR every Sunday wouldn't like that too much.

Where did the idea come from that a name has to be "strong" or unique or even non-bland? A bland name becomes powerful if the franchise is successful. The Bears were huge in the 80s. The Eagles were super popular that one year they won a superbowl. Even Cowboys is kinda generic in some respects and they're the most valuable franchise int he world despite having sucked for 25 years.

5 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I thought they changed something a few years ago to prevent people from just sitting on names to extort money from others. I thought you had to actually be using the name in commerce to gain protection.

My Holiday Inn Express wife says you have to demonstrate use in the field you are attempting to trademark. These assclowns that are trademark trolling have no intention of starting a professional American football team called Washington Warriors/Warthogs/Redtails/Redwolves etc. 

On 7/13/2020 at 8:11 PM, Texas Jeff said:

Washington Rednecks.  Offend a different group of folks for a while.

This would be fucking AWESOME.

13 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Where did the idea come from that a name has to be "strong" or unique or even non-bland? A bland name becomes powerful if the franchise is successful. The Bears were huge in the 80s. The Eagles were super popular that one year they won a superbowl. Even Cowboys is kinda generic in some respects and they're the most valuable franchise int he world despite having sucked for 25 years.

Moving forward it seems like nicknames will be limited to animals or elements of nature, geography, and space. 

I agree that team performance and success trumps the name. Just pick something and go do your job. I was buying the Redtails early on, but at this point I think something generic might be the safest bet. The Tuskegee Airmen deserve praise, but the progressives on radio and tv are full tilt pushing it as some kind of racial appeasement. Maybe stop making everything about race if you want to start reducing racial tension and real racism. 

Maybe the big news today is that Snyder has been blowing underage tranny hookers and must sell the team, and a lot of this becomes back burner. Northern Virginia Bulldogs it is!

Edited by Murfdogg21

19 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Where did the idea come from that a name has to be "strong" or unique or even non-bland? A bland name becomes powerful if the franchise is successful. The Bears were huge in the 80s. The Eagles were super popular that one year they won a superbowl. Even Cowboys is kinda generic in some respects and they're the most valuable franchise int he world despite having sucked for 25 years.

Agreed that with "boring" names, it's in large part it's about history.

Montreal Canadiens: badass, awesome, classic

Houston Texans: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That said there's plenty of cool names based on regional stuff that would be great as well.

1 hour ago, 'stache said:

Where did the idea come from that a name has to be "strong" or unique or even non-bland? A bland name becomes powerful if the franchise is successful. The Bears were huge in the 80s. The Eagles were super popular that one year they won a superbowl. Even Cowboys is kinda generic in some respects and they're the most valuable franchise int he world despite having sucked for 25 years.

Because 3 out of the last 5 have been named that way.  Bland strength.  Other than the Jaguars (relevant zoo animal at least), Panthers (literally named because panthers are strong), and Titans (...), you got the Ravens (famous resident and good) and the Texans (relevant...local...population?).  To be fair to the Texans, they probably would have been the red/white/blue Oilers if they could, but damn.

Redtails is at least interesting, although also weird since they got the nickname due to the, you know, red tails on their planes.  Reminds me of redasses when applied to people instead of planes.  Redwolves and Warriors are not interesting, but hey Snyder could probably reuse alternate logos with those and keep selling dat merch.  Instead of these types of things, I wish they'd come up with something relevant to their local area or at least fun.  Like the Biscuits.  

Edited by MadBurgerMaker

1 minute ago, MadBurgerMaker said:

Because 3 out of the last 5 have been named that way.  Bland strength.  Other than the Jaguars (relevant zoo animal at least), Panthers (literally named because panthers are strong), and Titans (...), you got the Ravens (famous resident and good) and the Texans (relevant...local...population?).  To be fair to the Texans, they probably would have been the red/white/blue Oilers if they could, but damn.

Redtails is at least interesting, although also weird since they got the nickname due to the, you know, red tails on their planes.  Reminds me of redasses when applied to people instead of planes.  Redwolves and Warriors are not interesting.  Instead of these types of things, I wish they'd come up with something relevant to their local area or at least fun.  Like the Biscuits.  

If they won a super bowl or two in the next five years it would be. Same with the jags, or panthers, or whatever bland name accompanies a winner. LSU is a tiger. Same as Clemson and Auburn who have been winning tons of championships with a bland name. Kansas State was big in the 90s with the blandest of all high school mascots the wildcat. 

Just now, 'stache said:

If they won a super bowl or two in the next five years it would be. Same with the jags, or panthers, or whatever bland name accompanies a winner. LSU is a tiger. Same as Clemson and Auburn who have been winning tons of championships with a bland name. Kansas State was big in the 90s with the blandest of all high school mascots the wildcat. 

I don't know what you're arguing with here.  Most of those aren't interesting either, despite the team success (LSU needs to keep that name history quiet). 

 

2 minutes ago, MadBurgerMaker said:

I don't know what you're arguing with here.  Most of those aren't interesting either, despite the team success (LSU needs to keep that name history quiet). 

 

People complain about "bland" or boring nicknames. I'm arguing that it doesn't matter, and that a "local" or flashy or unique nickname can be just as weak or stupid. If they went with Washington Wildcats it wouldn't fucking matter. If they continue to suck, then it sucks. If they won a super bowl, it would be popular in all of our heads. 

What is "bland" or "boring" to us today was not necessarily so when some of these names were chosen in years past.

2 minutes ago, 'stache said:

People complain about "bland" or boring nicknames. I'm arguing that it doesn't matter, and that a "local" or flashy or unique nickname can be just as weak or stupid. If they went with Washington Wildcats it wouldn't fucking matter. If they continue to suck, then it sucks. If they won a super bowl, it would be popular in all of our heads. 

Teams can suck and have good names.  Teams can be great and still just essentially be [LOCALAFFILIATION #31] [TEAMNAME #27].  The best ones are the types that are relevant to their location.  For example:  Patriots, Cowboys, Ravens, Packers, 49ers, Saints.  Those are good names that make sense for where they are.  Or when they were created in the case of the Saints.

4 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

^add Oilers. Double damn. 

Yeah that sucks bad.  The Roughnecks looked...correct...playing in Houston with a name and logo like that.

The Navajo Nation is lobbying for "Code Talkers" as the new name.

https://nypost.com/2020/07/14/navajo-nation-suggests-code-talkers-as-washington-football-team-name/?utm_medium=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow

The statement continued: “We strongly encourage the NFL Washington organization to rename their team in such a way that truly honors and respects the First Americans of this country. Renaming the team ‘Code Talkers’ to honor the Navajo Code Talkers, and other tribal nations who used their sacred language to help win World War II, would set the team on a path to restoring its reputation and correcting the historical misrepresentation of Indigenous peoples.”

 

Of course in a few years they could decide to send a letter revoking their previous letter of approval, like the Port Neches Groovy saga.

4 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

Code Talkers

Pretty sure the Patriots lost some draft picks for doing that.

5 hours ago, Sandman said:

I've been saying this for a while. There's no name out there they could use that will satisfy everyone and they've been getting heat for years to change it. They should just not have one, go with Washington FC or DCFC. 

Or call themselves the Federals. The other teams will shake with fear when the Feds raid their house/place of business.

Agreed.  They can use some DC monument imagery (a la the Caps) for a logo, or maybe the outline of the district itself...they'll want something put on merch.  But they don't need an official nickname.  

Any nickname they choose now will seem trite.  Even Red Wolves, which I'm told are indigenous to the area would seem kinda lame right now.

Edited by SnowAggy

This may be too longcat to fit on a helmet, but don't care; it's awesome

[Hook:]
Washington
Washington
6 foot 8 weighs a fucking ton
Opponents beware
Opponents beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

[Verse 1:]
Let me lay it on line he had two on the vine
I mean two sets of testicles so divine
On a horse made of crystal he patrolled the land
With the mason ring and schnauzer with his perfect hands

Here comes George in control
Women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll
Ate opponents brains and invented cocaine
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

[Hook:]
Washington
Washington
Six foot twenty fucking killing for fun
Spread Spread Delaware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming


[Verse 2:]
Sue me if I go too fast but the sons of his opponents wish that he was their dad
Got a wig for his wig got a brain for his heart
He'll kick you apart
He'll kick you apart

He'll save children but not the British children
He'll save children but not the British children
He'll save children but not the British children
He'll save children but not the British children

He had a pocket full of horses fucked the shit out of bears
He threw a knife into heaven
And could kill with a stare
He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky
Killed his sensei in a duel and he never said why

[Hook:]
Washington
Washington
Twelve stories high made of radiation
The present beware
The future beware
He's coming
He's coming He's coming

[Outro]
Did I mention his four nuts
Well he also had four dicks
If you took of his boot you'd see the dicks growing off his feet
I heard that motherfucker had like thirty goddamn dicks
He once held the hand of one of his opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid at a party

45 minutes ago, SnowAggy said:

Even Red Wolves, which I'm told are indigenous to the area would seem kinda lame right now.

Ah ah ah, can't use that one.

 

RedWolf1.jpg

Maybe take some inspiration from the truly inspiring, such as the Tokyo Carp, Nippon Ham-Fighters, Thailand Tobacco Monopoly, Webster Gorlocks, Teutopolis Wooden Shoes, Yuma Criminals, Mpumalanga Dangerous Darkies and Watersmeet Nimrods.

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