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Featured Replies

1 hour ago, Post Oak said:

I married into a British family and while they are mostly Americanized now every now and then I hear something at the pub that just makes me laugh.

I agree totally on fook and cunt.

 I so admire their total mastery of the English language and their ability to craft an insult around everyday words like "trumpet" or something else random.

 

This here.  One of the funniest and most admirable thing about the Brits.  

 

 

18 hours ago, BigHorn'13 said:

 

El guero chingon-- the badass white boy (me.)

I think you heard it wrong. What they were saying was “pinche guero.”  Trust me, I’m sure that’s what they were saying. Sometimes alternated with “pinche gringo.”  
I was always called guero (usually “pinche guero”) growing up in a Hispanic area. In college, I had a Spanish class, and the first day we went around the room introducing ourselves, with some descriptor. I described myself as guero. My Peruvian Spanish prof said “you’re rotten?”  Yep, that’s the literal translation In the majority of the Spanish-speaking world. Only means blond up here in these parts. 

Pinche is a great all-purpose word in Mexican-Spanish areas. You can combine it with other derogatory words (pinche gringo, pinche aggy, pinche migra, pinche joto, pinche maricón), or just use it as a descriptor. Cabrón of course is also versatile in these parts. 

My favorite, all-purpose one comes from our time in Venezuela (where I was born). “Coño” is an all-purpose word. While it has the literal meaning of a vulgar word for female genitalia, and retains that usage in Spain and some other parts of the world, in Venezuela and some other places it’s become the go-to word for any situation. Bang your finger with a hammer?  ¡Coño!  Your favorite sports team give up a big play?  ¡Coño!  Someone cut you off in traffic? ¡Coño!  Need something to yell when your child is acting up? ¡Coñito!  It’s unbelievably versatile, and through its ubiquitous use has lost its offensiveness, and now you will encounter otherwise proper ladies throwing it around like a southern US woman might say “sugar” instead of shit. 

Asslicker dickface!

Spooge balls bloody vaginal belch.

Suck my assbarf.

Edited by TwiceHorn

43 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Meat head

It's obviously not foreign, but I love it. Dates all the way back to Archie Bunker and watching that show with my dad. (Among his favorites, that and Barney Miller) 

You call someone that and unlike other curses, it gives them pause. It's not fighting words, and it isn't specific enough to be called a put down.

It's fucking perfect for work, personal or the bar.

Yeah, I have a variety of "clean" invectives and meathead and knucklehead are a couple.

I had a gf from upper Minnesota and she called people "doorknob" in that Marge Gunderson accent and it really took them aback.

  • Author
13 minutes ago, RedDirtTexan said:

Hijo de puta

I like "Jijo" done with a really Yiddish cough-to-death J. Dude from Mexico taught me that at UT. Later on some punk-ass said her Spanish-speaking friend from wherever didn't know it. Well fuck that-- I ain't talkin to her friend from wherever, I'm talkin to the dude from Mexico at UT.

Jijo

Hijole

Hijo de su familia, me cago en la leche de tu puta madre.

El Salvadorians say:

"Hijo de la gran puta"

Which is not just saying you're a son of a whore, but son the the biggest town whore. The whore's whore if you will.

A funny comedian once said --that means if there was a whore parade, your mom would be the gran marshal every fuckin year.

  • Author

So we're in a dismal Chinese restaurant one day, place is empty except for us and the lady at the register. She's on the phone speaking Chinese, and she is pissssed. Keeps yelling something that sounds like "TSOW! TSOW!"

I turn to Mrs. Canecutter, and I don't speak Chinese, but I whisper "Bet you 'tsow' means 'fuck.'"

Get home, hit the googles, sure enough. They spell it "cao" but the c means a ts sound.

TSOW. TSOW. TSOW NI MA. TSOW.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cao

On 9/4/2020 at 1:09 PM, RDCanecutter said:

So we're in a dismal Chinese restaurant one day, place is empty except for us and the lady at the register. She's on the phone speaking Chinese, and she is pissssed. Keeps yelling something that sounds like "TSOW! TSOW!"

I turn to Mrs. Canecutter, and I don't speak Chinese, but I whisper "Bet you 'tsow' means 'fuck.'"

Get home, hit the googles, sure enough. They spell it "cao" but the c means a ts sound.

TSOW. TSOW. TSOW NI MA. TSOW.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cao

My Lebanese uncle-in-law is a fantastic cusser in English. I shudder to think of his skills in Arabic or French.

I worked in his deli/wholesale nexus very briefly and loved hearing him screaming at kitchen managers all over Houston. "No. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FIVETHOUSAND TIMES FUCK YOU!"

putain just sounds so musical when you say it

 

cono~ too, because you can draw it out

Cossacks back in the day had a way with words. Here is a response they delivered to a Turkish sultan who demanded their surrender. 

Quote

 

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.

Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

 

Letter inspired this painting:

Ilja_Jefimowitsch_Repin_-_Reply_of_the_Z

On 9/2/2020 at 6:18 PM, BurntEyes said:

Kiwis seem to use it even more than Aussies in my experience, but agreed.

Both will bust out a “mother cunt” every now and then, at least the ones I’ve hung out with will.

On 9/3/2020 at 7:30 AM, williemackgarza said:

Me la pela.

Always like that one.

 

Scottish buddy of mine, "See you next Tuesday! Hey!"

Apparently, I have a poor vocabulary. My wife is undisturbed by it all. Unless I say, “caca.”

On 9/2/2020 at 4:29 PM, slorch said:

Cocksucker still works.

 

 

3 hours ago, ulukinatme said:

 

I’ve worked and negotiated with a lot of Italians. That video plays in my subconscious whenever I interact with them. Good stuff. 

I remember watching inside the actors studio. Lipton would always ask the guest their favorite curse word. Most times it is one syllable that gets beeped out but you can see that they said fuck or whatever. Holly Hunter answered cocksucker in her drawl, and they only beeped out the cock so there was no mistaking it. 

The ones I use the most in Brazil (well, also at home) are:

filho da puta

vai tomar no cu

puta que pariu

porra

caralho

puta merda

Spanish is more or less the same:

hijo de puta

puta mierda

carajo

 

On 9/3/2020 at 12:49 PM, BurntEyes said:

Meat head

It's obviously not foreign, but I love it. Dates all the way back to Archie Bunker and watching that show with my dad. (Among his favorites, that and Barney Miller) 

You call someone that and unlike other curses, it gives them pause. It's not fighting words, and it isn't specific enough to be called a put down.

It's fucking perfect for work, personal or the bar.

My dad used that one when I was growing up. And knot head a lot as well.  

Edited by Longboard Horn

14 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

The ones I use the most in Brazil (well, also at home) are:

filho da puta

vai tomar no cu

puta que pariu

porra

caralho

puta merda

Spanish is more or less the same:

hijo de puta

puta mierda

carajo

 

caralho is very musical

  • Author

I learned my practical French in bars in Picardie (the Fargo accent of France is just north of there. Picard dialect might qualify as French Yooper.) I wish I could remember half the bizarre shit they taught me.

Normal Picard accent sounds like cussin even when it isn't--- for "What's that man over there doing?"

Standard French: Cet homme-la, qu'est-ce qu'il fait? [Set omla, keskil fae? all dignified n shit]

Picard accent: Ch't'houmme-lo, qu'est-ce qu'y fout? [SHTOOM-law, keshky FOO? yelling across the street like you're sellin fish.] With the word for "do" being the same as Standard French for "fuck." The effect is kinda like saying

Yo Yo Yo d'FUCKS e DOIN? except it's just normal small talk.

All kinds of expressions with "con" (cunt)

Con, espece de con, conard, conasse (pronounced "counasse" in Picard, ie, coonass), conasserie (might be makin that up, but they'd understand it.)

Pauvre con, vas-t'en (shove off ye old cunt)

Y'a des cons partout (They's assholes everwhere)

Putain (mentioned in a previous post) is awesome, you can drawl out the second syllable pu-TAIIIIIINNNN, it literally means "slut" but gets used like DAMMMMMMN and wouldn't offend a woman. "Pute" will offend her, plus broadcast to the bar that you had no game.

"PuTAIIIIINNNNN, fille, tu as la patate? Tu veux m'aider a tirer ma crampe?" DAMMMN girl you doin good? Wanna help me bust this slump?

[Her, talk to the hand pose] "DeGAGE-euh."

"Quoi? Quoi? PUTE!" followed by a full engueulade (episode of shit-talking, jaw-jacking, somebody-HOLD-Me-Back stuff), and somebody getting banned from the club.

On 9/2/2020 at 2:47 PM, Beau Vine said:

image.png.b3a4bc15086f1af6378d6c6294cffa61.png

YES!   This is going straight into the front of Beau Vine's vocabulary.

 

Also, this guy is the best:

 

 

LOL

"He is the Michael Jordan of masturbation, he is Malaka."

What I enjoy about learning about foreign language cuss words is the attempt to convey the imagery of the word when explaining the meaning.

I have some staff in South America and was in a Zoom meeting a couple of weeks ago regarding a customer needing some work completed immediately. A few of the guys were pushing back on the short timeline and without thinking I dropped "no seas huevón" on them. The account manager based out of Madrid was on the call and I forgot she was there but before I could regret my words she bursted out in laughter. The Chileans were all WTF? Then the South Americans and the Spaniard spent 10 minutes discussing the nuances of  huevón.

For HR purposes I just said it means something about an egg.

 

A little off topic but I've encountered a lot of people in South America with German names that are fluent in German. They usually just explain it as "my grandparents came to South America because of the war in Europe."

 

Me: They were from Germany and "had to leave" because of WWII?

I See You Reaction GIF by swerk

There are millions of Brazilians of German descent. The vast majority of their ancestors arrived to Brazil well before World War II.

6 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

There are millions of Brazilians of German descent. The vast majority of their ancestors arrived to Brazil well before World War II.

True of most of South America, and mostly pre-war, which I think is why it attracted Nazis post-war.

Fair number of Italians and Central/Eastern Europeans, too.

One of my college roommates was Croatian-Bolivian.

The Chileans were all WTF? Then the South Americans and the Spaniard spent 10 minutes discussing the nuances of  huevón.


Chile isn’t in South America?

Who was the poster that had an Aussie chick tell him to “chuck it in me dumpa”?

3 minutes ago, luke duke said:

 


Chile isn’t in South America?

Poor wording on my part.

There were South Americans other than Chileans on the call. I mentioned the Chileans because the phrase has a different connotation in Chile than elsewhere.

1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

True of most of South America, and mostly pre-war,

That's what they want you to think.

 

Living in Korea:

씨발 (ssi-bal) - fuck

병신 새끼 (byeong-sin saek-ki) - diseased or deformed person used like motherfucker

씨발년 (ssi-bal-nyeon) - bitch

씨발새끼 (ssi-bal-saek-ki) - SOB

백치 (baeg-chi) - Idiot

I do a lot of online gaming here to pass time and the people online are a mix of Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Russian and Filipino mostly. Most often heard, used in in text chat are:

Bobo <Filipino> - dumbass

сука блять <Russian> (ssOO-kah blyat) - bitch whore 

白痴 - <Chinese> (báichī) - idiot

ばか <Japanese> (Baka) -  stupid    or ばかやろう (Bakayarou) - idiot/asshole

 

 

 

Pillock - British, idiot -- something about the intonation is satisfying

grandisimo cornuto - Italian, the greatest cuckold in the world

8 hours ago, Trinity said:

grandisimo cornuto - Italian, the greatest cuckold in the world

hi-res-64fbf35c45885b545cb6cddfe79da5bf_

A little off topic but I've encountered a lot of people in South America with German names that are fluent in German. They usually just explain it as "my grandparents came to South America because of the war in Europe."

 

Me: They were from Germany and "had to leave" because of WWII?

200.gif

Argentina is full of this. I dated the prettiest blonde haired blue eyed girl there you ever saw. She went to a German school full of girls just like her.

 

Plus they had so many Italians their Spanish is littered with Italian - “laburo” instead of “trabajo” for work for example. It’s a European country plopped down in South America. Quite a mix of different people.

  • Author

Yeah, there were Brits, Germans, French, Italians all up and down Latin America before the world wars. Hell, I think the French invented the term "Latin America" under Nappy III or thereabouts, when they wanted to horn in on "Anglo-Saxon" British and US commercial interests there, seeing themselves as simply the northernmost Latin "race."

In Pre-Revolution Mexico, Porfirio Diaz jump-started industrialization by giving concessions to all sorts of Europeans, as well as the US. Probably spread it around to keep any one group from calling the shots.

If you are into cool stuff about WW1-era Mexico, get a copy of "The Secret War in Mexico" by Friedrich Katz. You'll see Carranza playing off the Americans (who want to seize more territory,) the Brits (who want a coup,) and the Germans (who just want to burn down all the oil rigs so the Brits can't use them.) There is also insight into German commercial expansion into Mexico after a victory in 1918, because for a good bit of 1918 they still thought they'd win. As for art, pretty sure Frida Kahlo's dad's family was Hungarian.

Also, if you can find old travel guides to the region from WW2 or before, it was a different world. The best one I've seen so far is Harry Francks' "Vagabonding Down the Andes: Being the Narrative of a Journey, Chiefly Afoot, from Panama to Buenos Aires." Decidedly un-woke, but a good view of life at a walking pace through a pre-WW1 world of almost no roads, no bridges (he sees his first wheeled vehicle after hundreds of miles, in Cuzco,) No hotels (he travels with letters of recommendation to friends of friends,) at one point he's using buttons and pins for small change because nobody knows what to make of the gold Sovereigns he has sewn inside a belt. (I mean, they probably knew what they were, but the fact that a strange hobo is waving one around might have put them off.) Franck went back after WW2 to find that the infrastructure had made a giant leap, and credited the new hotels and restaurants to European refugees, particularly the Jews.

Next time your local library is chucking out some old books so they can install more computers, see if you can find those old travel books.

Quite a few Germans throughout Latin America (Guatemala of all places has relatively large population of German descendente). However, Brazil still has more people of Italian and German descent than any country in Latin America, including Argentina.

My family was mostly Portuguese descent by way of France before Portugal then Brazil. My wife though is half Italian and her small town in São Paulo is mostly Italian descent. All her friends growing up had Italian surnames. Her aunt lived lived with them growing up. She was one of the older siblings and my mother in law was the youngest. I would go every weekend to eat lunch and hang out with the family and her aunt would walk through the living room, stop and look at what we were watching on tv. 90% of the time she didn’t like what we were watching and would cuss under her breath in Italian. Things like vaffanculo, puttana, impiastro, etc.

The lack of Tex Mex cuss words is lacking here 

 

Stupid  Pendejo

Suck my huevos

You big panocha 

You fat culo

 


 

 

 

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