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Pre-shower shit - do you wipe? 132 members have voted

  1. 1. What's your MO?

    • Wipe as normal
    • Wipe less than normal
    • No wipe
    • I have a bidet you animal

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

Featured Replies

36 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

Ok, I feel like we've talked about this before...

But if you take a shit after you step out of the shower, do you wipe (toilet paper and wet ass) or step back into the shower (similar question to the one raised in the op)? 

Clean your ass and get back in the shower!!

When you embrace the six sigma lifestyle, you will realize that the most efficient morning bathroom routine is to shit, shower, and shave simultaneously. 
the lifestyle does require commitment. OpEx is not just for work. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

Normally I use wet wipes, but to conserve when I know I'm going to shower immediately after, I'll use same shitty toilet paper as the rest of you that doesn't do shit knowing full well I'll have the full use of 80+ psi to get the shit completely out of my crack in the shower.  Nothing bigger than a pinkie nail, my shower head don't fuck around.

9 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Ok, I feel like we've talked about this before...

But if you take a shit after you step out of the shower, do you wipe (toilet paper and wet ass) or step back into the shower (similar question to the one raised in the op)? 

Easy, your towel is handy so go for the Mangino wipe.

image.jpeg.4e26c2062ca0d41a5c28951f53035c48.jpeg

  • Author
15 hours ago, F250 said:

I dropped in just to see if this was an option. The fact that it's not means OP doesn't see the wrongness of his question. Never tailgate with ztejas.

I would never tailgate with a thorough-wiper anyways.

On 9/11/2020 at 3:16 AM, mulletpelini said:

Normally I use wet wipes, but to conserve when I know I'm going to shower immediately after, I'll use same shitty toilet paper as the rest of you that doesn't do shit knowing full well I'll have the full use of 80+ psi to get the shit completely out of my crack in the shower.  Nothing bigger than a pinkie nail, my shower head don't fuck around.

 

Hope you're using the right kind that breaks down right away and not the kind that fucks up your plumbing.

On 9/10/2020 at 11:36 PM, NWBuck said:

Ok, I feel like we've talked about this before...

But if you take a shit after you step out of the shower, do you wipe (toilet paper and wet ass) or step back into the shower (similar question to the one raised in the op)? 

This confuses me I mean we must be talking about a surprise shit here. The leadtime on a shit is just about always longer than a shower... I mean unless you get in to the tub and you’re already Prairie dogging I just don’t get it.

regardless , to answer the question..if I’m expecting to get laid later that day I’d get back in the shower. Otherwise I’d just wipe & go. 

  • 3 months later...

Never underestimate a good towel to buff the ole toothless one to a shine right after a shower.
The trick is try to find a brown or greenish brown towel (try to color match like they do paint at home depot) and bury it in the dirty clothes pile so the Mrs. doesn't cry foul. 454a7c3067838e10e0881a9fe5359f46.jpg

Seems like waiting a few more days and then starting an all encompassing shitting / sharting 2021 meta threas might be the way to go. 

Edited by Marfa Low Crown

5 hours ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

Seems like waiting a few more days and then starting an all encompassing shitting / sharting 2021 meta threas might be the way to go. 

Disagree. 

Apples and horse apples. 

Went on a trip to Cancun senior year at UT and one of the guys in our group would shit after his shower. His explanation was that he didn't want to smell it while he was in the shower. We tried to explain to him that the main purpose of a shower was to clean your ass and this method was counter intuitive, but he wouldn't budge.

  • 2 weeks later...
On 9/10/2020 at 2:03 PM, Druggist said:

I’m confused, is this a from the side wipe or a reach under from the front wipe?

 

ok, now y'all are just making shit up.

 

On 12/30/2020 at 6:58 AM, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

This gif never fails to make me giggle.

Not me. Welcome to oldfartdom.

 
ok, now y'all are just making shit up.
 

I was stunned some years back to find out there are actually human beings who do this.

Is it considered a shart if I shit in the toilet and wiped my ass before getting in the shower? Then while in the shower I felt something I thought was gas. Lo and behold I dribbled down to my feet a warm, yet nutty brown trail down the inside of my leg. Fortunately, the solids were minimal and it all washed down the drain efficiently. After a thorough re-soaping all was well, but I'm still leery of any pressure now felt in my southern hemisphere.

Edited by Longhornstampede
because ???

I had to go wash my hands after reading #71.

3 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Is it considered a shart if I shit in the toilet and wiped my ass before getting in the shower? Then while in the shower I felt something I thought was gas. Lo and behold I dribbled down to my feet a warm, yet nutty brown trail down the inside of my leg. Fortunately, the solids were minimal and it all washed down the drain efficiently. After a thorough re-soaping all was well, but I'm still leery of any pressure now felt in my southern hemisphere.

But why be leery? How often do you have liquids preceding solids? I'd say it's pretty safe just to let everything loose.

3 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Is it considered a shart if I shit in the toilet and wiped my ass before getting in the shower? Then while in the shower I felt something I thought was gas. Lo and behold I dribbled down to my feet a warm, yet nutty brown trail down the inside of my leg. Fortunately, the solids were minimal and it all washed down the drain efficiently. After a thorough re-soaping all was well, but I'm still leery of any pressure now felt in my southern hemisphere.

Roxanne-Roxanne-Nasty-Motherfucker.gif

 

Some of y'all need more fiber in your diet.

Since half this thread is people admitting they use soap on their chocolate star fish, Google it. All you need is warm water. If you have a bidet, the closest your fingers ever really need to get to your shart box is with a loose wad of TP to dab dry the bidet water.

You fuckers that scrub with toilet paper then rub it with your fingers in the shower are truly child-level with your rectum care. Do you put your pants on the floor at the urinal?

27 minutes ago, B00M said:

Since half this thread is people admitting they use soap on their chocolate star fish, Google it. All you need is warm water. If you have a bidet, the closest your fingers ever really need to get to your shart box is with a loose wad of TP to dab dry the bidet water.

You fuckers that scrub with toilet paper then rub it with your fingers in the shower are truly child-level with your rectum care. Do you put your pants on the floor at the urinal?

What about the azns that dig around their fartbox and then wash it off their hands.  How do we like them assholes?

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