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This is the thread where you admit you put mayo on your hot dog

Featured Replies

4 hours ago, scottsins said:

Ranch is not “mostly” or even a little bit mayo.

Well gosh, if you say so. Go read the fucking directions on a packet of Hidden Valley Buttermilk Ranch mix or look at the ingredients on a Sysco ranch dressing barrel.

4 hours ago, scottsins said:

Ranch is not “mostly” or even a little bit mayo.

guess you never made the ranch for a low-rent burger restaurant.  I did in high school, and the process started with a gallon drum of mayo. 

Sorry bro that was me.  I fucked his mom before you did and busted my mayo inside her.


And that’s why I went ass to mouth on her.
Dry packets of ranch say for dressings, mix ranch with mayo, dipping sauce, mix with sour cream. Pizza places usually mix the dry ranch with buttermilk.  Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

 Sonofabitch.

 

I just made some like 2 week’s ago, using mayo and milk. How the fuck I forgot that is beyond me.

 

My thought process was “there aren’t eggs or oil in ranch dressing?!?”

 

Neg away.

 

ETA: This is extra funny because I make Ranch from packets pretty often. Can’t stand the bottled stuff now. Like, if I’m ordering shitty pizza and I’m out of ranch...I’ll drive to H-E-B (when it’s open) to get a packet before placing my order.

19 minutes ago, scottsins said:

 Sonofabitch.

 

I just made some like 2 week’s ago, using mayo and milk. How the fuck I forgot that is beyond me.

 

My thought process was “there aren’t eggs or oil in ranch dressing?!?”

 

Neg away.

 

ETA: This is extra funny because I make Ranch from packets pretty often. Can’t stand the bottled stuff now. Like, if I’m ordering shitty pizza and I’m out of ranch...I’ll drive to H-E-B (when it’s open) to get a packet before placing my order.

Get it from sams. Comes in big container and has s plastic scoop. Makes it easy to adjust the recipe and don’t have to fuck with packets. Stays good for a while and makes a metric shit ton. 

No white creamy stuff for me. Don’t like mayo, don’t like sour cream, don’t like ranch, I prefer my condiments to be yellow. 

The only thing that belongs on bologna and white bread is hot sauce just for the record and preferably Louisiana original. That was the lunch of champions at the golf course along with a few ice cold Budweiser’s and hot sauce slathered pork rinds.

Edited by Brew

A good slathering of mayo is pretty tasty on a sliced SPAM and white bread sandwich. So, once every 10 years or so?

Mayo is nasty. I'm team Miracle Whip til I die. And yes, I put it on hot dogs.

  • Author
I’ve been known to eat a peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich a time or two.  


7894fbcaa2652c7a6957f64cf7660863.jpg
Mayo should go on whatever the fuck you like it on.  Stupid rules about what other people are allowed to like are stupid.

I agree. Eat what you like. But I’m allowed to make value judgements about people with shitty taste. If you eat your steak well done with ketchup, you’re a bad person with shitty taste. If you eat Miracle Whip you probably also drink soda by the gallon and add sugar to Frosted Flakes, because it’s basically just mayonnaise with corn syrup. Eat what you want, I’ll judge silently, promise.
2 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I’ve been known to eat a peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich a time or two.  

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I agree. Eat what you like. But I’m allowed to make value judgements about people with shitty taste. If you eat your steak well done with ketchup, you’re a bad person with shitty taste. If you eat Miracle Whip you probably also drink soda by the gallon and add sugar to Frosted Flakes, because it’s basically just mayonnaise with corn syrup. Eat what you want, I’ll judge silently, promise.


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3 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I’ve been known to eat a peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich a time or two.  

you’re going to hell. 

8 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I’ve been known to eat a peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich a time or two.  

Didn't know it was a thing until a couple of days ago when I came across this:

ionr0g.jpg

Where does surly stand on Whataburger Mayo ... only mayo I’ll use

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

 

8 minutes ago, TexasBeta said:

Where does surly stand on Whataburger Mayo ... only mayo I’ll use

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

 

Don't care for it.  Duke's #1, Hellman's (Best Foods west of the Rockies) #2. 

Edited by deadshank

0002100002686_500X500.jpg 

Fuck your Duke's and helmens or best foods or whatever. This is the best Mayo. Serious eats blind taste test even agrees. And if you can't trust an Asian with 3 names that graduated from MIT, who can you trust?

Eggs are good. Olive oil is good. Mixed together they are great. 

Reduced Fat Mayo w/ Olive Oil?  Bet your husband slaps the shit out of you on a regular basis. 

3 hours ago, Stoogey said:

Didn't know it was a thing until a couple of days ago when I came across this:

ionr0g.jpg

jif started out as 20% crisco, using mayo can't be *that* different.  other than P&G mixing it really well for you.

Edited by elfenix
gross

3 hours ago, Stoogey said:

Didn't know it was a thing until a couple of days ago when I came across this:

ionr0g.jpg

I had never heard of this abomination until Dale Earnhart, Jr said it was his favorite sandwich during a promo tour for Hellmann's. 

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gagged a little thinking about mayo & pbj sandwich.

random use i have for mayo - outside of a grilled cheese instead of butter.  i get a far more even, crispy, and overall better toasting than when using butter.  can cover the entire slice with an even layer.  can't taste the mayo once cooked.

9 minutes ago, BlueGreySky said:

gagged a little thinking about mayo & pbj sandwich.

random use i have for mayo - outside of a grilled cheese instead of butter.  i get a far more even, crispy, and overall better toasting than when using butter.  can cover the entire slice with an even layer.  can't taste the mayo once cooked.

BGS...this man knows what he's doing with grilled cheese

I assume you mean f-ing up a perfectly good grilled cheese.

brew... you can't taste it.  trust me.  my wife refuses anything with mayo - it repulses her.  i've never told her how i cook the GC and never will. 

47 minutes ago, Brew said:

I assume you mean f-ing up a perfectly good grilled cheese.

Did it once when out of butter. Turned out great. 

1 hour ago, BlueGreySky said:

random use i have for mayo - outside of a grilled cheese instead of butter.  i get a far more even, crispy, and overall better toasting than when using butter.  can cover the entire slice with an even layer.  can't taste the mayo once cooked.

that’s fucking interesting, man.  that’s fucking interesting. 

I've been doing my sons grilled cheese sandwiches that way for a long time.  It makes the outside nice and crispy and you can't taste the mayo after cooking.

Other than the torchy's jalapeño ranch recipe it's the most useful purpose for mayo.

8 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

There’s no mayo in ranch, been covered.

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On 4/20/2018 at 2:16 AM, 52-80 said:

mayo+ketchup

Here you go, pal.
34i30yd.jpg
Mayochup looks like Big Mac sauce without the pickle relish.
2aaa69u.jpg

3 hours ago, BlueGreySky said:

brew... you can't taste it.  trust me.  my wife refuses anything with mayo - it repulses her.  i've never told her how i cook the GC and never will. 

lies.  it tasted oddly tangy when i tried it. 

 

1 hour ago, Stoogey said:

Here you go, pal.
34i30yd.jpg
Mayochup looks like Big Mac sauce without the pickle relish.
2aaa69u.jpg

 

there's no tomato in big mac sauce.  the color is from food color

 

Quote

Problem is, even a cursory bit of research on the Mcdonald's website reveals that the sauce is actually nothing of the sort. Rather, it is a mayonnaise-based sauce with no ketchup or tomato to speak of consisting of:

Soybean oil, pickle relish [diced pickles, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, vinegar, corn syrup, salt, calcium chloride, xanthan gum, potassium sorbate (preservative), spice extractives, polysorbate 80], distilled vinegar, water, egg yolks, high fructose corn syrup, onion powder, mustard seed, salt, spices, propylene glycol alginate, sodium benzoate (preservative), mustard bran, sugar, garlic powder, vegetable protein (hydrolyzed corn, soy and wheat), caramel color, extractives of paprika, soy lecithin, turmeric (color), calcium disodium EDTA (protect flavor).

Edited by elfenix

On 4/22/2018 at 7:56 AM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I’ve been known to eat a peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich a time or two.  

My grandfather will smear some peanut butter and mayo on some saltines for lunch. Grew up poor in East Texas, so I don't think it exclusive to the Midwest.

I’ve been known to eat a peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich a time or two.  

I’ve eaten this my whole life. Crunchy Jif, white bread, cold Miracle Whip light (watching those calories).

scope the knife in the Pb, then straight to the MW. Then eat. I double dip the knife. I’m the only one that eats the crunchy and the MW in my house so it’s cool.

I'm not sure what I expected when I clicked on this thread, but I do know that I now feel a seeping coldness inside, like a part of me has died, and the food at the wake is horrible.

Holy baby Jesus, y’all some fucked up people. This thread makes me want to drop out of society. No mayo. Fuck.

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