Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

3 minutes ago, Tony Two K said:

No chance they could lose to a Sun Belt team. Aggy will proclaim Jimbo’s victory over his mentor Terry Bowden to be equivalent to Sark defeating Saban.

xkmoqmoulry0rwdwgylr.jpg

  • Replies 10.2k
  • Views 1.3m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • you guys aren't going to believe this, but i may have misjudged the potential floor here.

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    Aggie - Fisher - Plan 2024 Synopsis, as I've come to hear about it: Spoilered for the tl;dr crowd that doesn't give a shit and doesn't want to scroll.  

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    I have to tell you, I don't know if I can handle this if it is true. They are speculating on the aggie 247 board that, because Elijah Robinson is still an employee at Texas A&M and because he is c

Posted Images

17 hours ago, Mr. Mojo Risin' said:

Bison tits never gets old 🤣

What's wild about that nickname is I first saw it on texags lol. They were clowning on their "highly regarded" recruit, which is really on brand but still incredible. 

On 9/12/2023 at 12:05 PM, texifornia said:

Brauny

F51y9i_XcAANX4i?format=webp&name=mediumF51y9wmW0AAMAYI?format=webp&name=medium

image.png.ade57b0d4a826367510ee5eaa1cde1a5.png

Where does this source rank on the list that includes fan letters from visiting teams and having a good buddy close to the program?

You can take this shit to the bank.

13 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

image.png.ade57b0d4a826367510ee5eaa1cde1a5.png

 

EERbk10XoAE9k-d?format=webp&name=900x900

6 hours ago, TexasTroll said:

Mel Torme

Aggy allways late to the party.

My dad terrorized Mel Torme once in a bar in Dallas. Dad had been a bouncer in an illegal bar and gambling joint just outside the gates of the Texaco Refinery in Port Arthur back in the 50s. The man could be terrifiying. 

I never knew exactly what Torme did. Dad was probably in the wrong, but I wouldn't have told him that. 

39 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

My dad terrorized Mel Torme once in a bar in Dallas. Dad had been a bouncer in an illegal bar and gambling joint just outside the gates of the Texaco Refinery in Port Arthur back in the 50s. The man could be terrifiying. 

I never knew exactly what Torme did. Dad was probably in the wrong, but I wouldn't have told him that. 

Hold up. Your dad went after The Velvet Fog? What the hell? 

1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

image.png.ade57b0d4a826367510ee5eaa1cde1a5.png

Where does this source rank on the list that includes fan letters from visiting teams and having a good buddy close to the program?

You can take this shit to the bank.

Depends. Is the Father able to give me directions to the stadium?

Well I had to look up Mel Torme after all of this... to his credit, Nat King Cole's version of The Christmas Song is the best Christmas carol out there, bar none.

2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Hold up. Your dad went after The Velvet Fog? What the hell? 

I don't even think I was alive yet. The VF was performing in a club where Dad was. Dad was an alcoholic (great man in many ways anyway), so I'm guessing he was loud and Mel said something. 

Not a family point of pride, but it's an interesting whisper of a story.

The only celebrities I’ve ever gone after are Ryan Braun and Mario Lopez. Mel Torme? The dude was like 5’3”. Same as Lopez, I guess. 

  • Popular Post
7 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

 

Not a family point of pride, but it's an interesting whisper of a story.

Well I think that's the tops

619-jimmy.png?w=600

 

  • Popular Post
22 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

The only celebrities I’ve ever gone after are Ryan Braun and Mario Lopez. Mel Torme? The dude was like 5’3”. Same as Lopez, I guess. 

I come from a long line of cowardly bullies.

1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

The only celebrities I’ve ever gone after are Ryan Braun and Mario Lopez. Mel Torme? The dude was like 5’3”. Same as Lopez, I guess. 

well, now i'm curious about the Braun story.

8 minutes ago, NoName said:

well, now i'm curious about the Braun story.

It was a misunderstanding. 
 

what ctj said was “YOU can’t hit, man!”

but bc of his heavy Hispanic accent Braun heard “JEW can’t hit, mayne!”

3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

The only celebrities I’ve ever gone after are Ryan Braun and Mario Lopez. Mel Torme? The dude was like 5’3”. Same as Lopez, I guess. 

Brauny? Fat Hamm? 

You would. 😉

Edited by Tex Pete

3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

The only celebrities I’ve ever gone after are Ryan Braun and Mario Lopez. Mel Torme? The dude was like 5’3”. Same as Lopez, I guess. 

rich-eisen-40.gif.8761bc1d12d615758fa42998589f5fba.gif

 

I believe you're forgetting all of the celebs that you've challenged to a 40 yard dash.

6 hours ago, closetojumping said:

The only celebrities I’ve ever gone after are Ryan Braun and Mario Lopez. Mel Torme? The dude was like 5’3”. Same as Lopez, I guess. 

Mario Lopez is a total bitch.  I'll never forget how he behaved on a Southwest flight from Burbank to LAS.  Dude, you're flying Southwest quit acting like you should get first class service.  He also preboarded because he had a "medical condition" that required early boarding. Fucking clown.

Edited by JesusSweatDuck
forgot the S in LAS

Just now, JesusSweatDuck said:

on a Southwest flight from Burbank to LA.

How long was that flight?

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, NoName said:

well, now i'm curious about the Braun story.

 

1 hour ago, hookemATL said:

It was a misunderstanding. 
 

what ctj said was “YOU can’t hit, man!”

but bc of his heavy Hispanic accent Braun heard “JEW can’t hit, mayne!”

@SydneyCarton and I, along with some other folks who are as Surly as Surly can be but don't post on the Internet have a history of planned public trolls against groups or individuals who we think deserve it. I think y'all know that part. What may not be clear is that that approach extends beyond things related to UT or college sports.

Ryan Braun had been caught taking roids after speaking high and mighty about steroid users in baseball while putting up absurd numbers. Then, he got the outcome overturned because of some chain of custody issue with the guy who was delivering the tests to the facility. Then Braun gives a press conference, preaches his innocence, calls the paid-hourly delivery worker several names and implies corruption, and then wags his finger at the media members about presuming his guilt. He gets to keep playing.

Fast forward to some time after that and he tests positive again, for a drug he thought they weren't testing for yet. Then they suspend his ass. He attempted to blame his girlfriend's STD or STD medicine for his positive test. 

This guy was a source of pride for Jewish kids who love baseball and just little baseball fans in general. I had viewed McGwire that way as a kid. So fuck this guy.

We bought 10 tickets on the front row of the Crawford boxes when the Astros were terrible and the Brewers were coming to town. Braun played left field. We asked Sydney to get a banner made, which he did, that read "MVP = Made Via Pharmaceuticals". It was big and long, and yes, that's what she said.

Every time that fucking asshole ran out to left, from the 1st until the 9th, we pulled that banner up across the lot of us. Same for when he went up to bat. It even got on tv a few times with fouls and such. 

Once he was in left field, we heckled him mercilessly. Imagine the worst shit you can say to someone like that without making threats or cussing, and we did it. The rest of the Crawford Boxes got into it. We were chanting shit like "Steroids! Steroids here! Geeett your steroids here!!!" "You have let down your entire heritage!" "It takes a brave man to blame his girlfriend's STD for testing positive for steroids!" "You've made a mockery of your career. You will never be considered for the HOF. You should be ashamed of yourself." "You have shamed your entire family. Little kids despise you, you hypocrite!" I mean, Minute Maid was mostly empty and we were right above the little bitch.

The guy made 2 errors in the game. In the 9th inning, Astros security came out and asked us to leave. A terrible Astros team was beating the shit out of Milwaukee. They pulled Braun after his last AB in the 8th. The Astros people told us that the Brewers and Braun had been complaining about us since the 2nd inning. They waited until the 9th to come get us. 

I don't know what Ryan Braun thinks about when he thinks about his baseball career while he counts his money and pulls the wings off of honeybees and butterflies. What I do know is that when that fucker scrolls through those memories and all of his accomplishments, somewhere in the recesses of those thoughts, he remembers all of the shit we said to him that night and he knows there's truth to it. He was visibly shaken and got worse as the game went on. Fuck that cheating hypocrite.

8 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

How long was that flight?

Can't tell if you're being serious or not, but it's about 45 minutes or so

Heckling and being a complete asshole to opposing baseball players whilst not getting asked to leave is an artform and should be celebrated as such. Fine line between too aggressive and distasteful - probably helped that your crew made up a majority of the fans in the outfield.  Our diamond club tickets back then would oftentimes go unused. 

2 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Mario Lopez is a total bitch.  I'll never forget how he behaved on a Southwest flight from Burbank to LA.  Dude, you're flying Southwest quit acting like you should get first class service.  He also preboarded because he had a "medical condition" that required early boarding. Fucking clown.

When we were overtly mocking him in public, it was for similar reasons. On Jan 4, 2006, we were at a tailgate in the Rose Bowl parking lot near where the RVs were parking. The Girls Gone Wild RV shows up and proceeds to take up multiple RV parking spaces. Security comes over and knocks on the door. The RV is already flexing out and extending each side into yet more parking spaces. Someone opens the door, they talk to security, argue against whatever security is saying and then close the door. 

Security gets more security. Knock again. We're all just kind of watching. Next time the door opens, down the little stairs walks AC Slater. He's got his hands out, palms forward with sort of the ol' fellas, fellas kind of thing going on. They're clearly trying to talk their way into just fucking everybody else's ability to park in that lot.

We started mocking that short little fucker brutally as a group. It got to the point where he paused with the security folks and started walking towards us, which really got us laughing and acting like general dickheads. Eventually he turned around, talked further to security, and then went back in the RV. It pulled the extensions in and reparked in one spot. 

It's bizarre because now that dude's sister lives in Houston near us and my wife is somewhat friends with her. Slater comes to town occasionally. Tiny fella. 

I've always wondered if @henrygandorf was on that RV that day and if he remembers any of that interaction between them and the security folks (not us, that part was inconsequential other than our entertainment). 

9 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Can't tell if you're being serious or not, but it's about 45 minutes or so

Burbank airport to LAX? It’s like an hour and 15 minute drive with traffic. I’m now fascinated that there is the demand to support such a commercial flight. 

5 minutes ago, Duane Moore said:

Burbank airport to LAX? It’s like an hour and 15 minute drive with traffic. I’m now fascinated that there is the demand to support such a commercial flight. 

I used to fly it all the time, but that's because it was the connection to get to BUR from AUS that avoided PHX.  There are a lot of people that fly that route to go to Vegas for the weekend.  LAS to BUR was always full of a bunch of currently drunk and hungover individuals.

I used to have the pictures of the banner from sportscenter saved on my phone, but I think they've been lost to time, which is a shame.

 

43 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Can't tell if you're being serious or not, but it's about 45 minutes or so

LOL what? The two airports are 25 miles away from each other. I'm thinking its more like 8-10 minutes.

4 minutes ago, Foosters said:

LOL what? The two airports are 25 miles away from each other. I'm thinking its more like 8-10 minutes.

Taxiing around the runways at big airports like LAX is half the battle.

5 hours ago, closetojumping said:

The only celebrities I’ve ever gone after are Ryan Braun and Mario Lopez. Mel Torme? The dude was like 5’3”. Same as Lopez, I guess. 

Yeah, well that all well and good. But try that to Lloyd Braun.

 

anger GIF

14 minutes ago, Foosters said:

LOL what? The two airports are 25 miles away from each other. I'm thinking its more like 8-10 minutes.

This is Vegas (LAS) not Los Angeles (LAX).  

4 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

This is Vegas (LAS) not Los Angeles (LAX).  

You wrote Burbank to LA. Did you mean LV or LAS?

15 hours ago, texifornia said:

Well I had to look up Mel Torme after all of this... to his credit, Nat King Cole's version of The Christmas Song is the best Christmas carol out there, bar none.

This is facts. It’s worth noting that the arrangement from the version you are probably thinking of, the 1961 version, is perfect. Incredibly well done, from the strings at the top, the jazz guitar/ bass/ drums background arrangement, the solos, the countermelodies. Ralph Carmichael, arranger and conductor. Also really, really well produced and balanced. That album is full of great stuff. 

1 hour ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Mario Lopez is a total bitch.  I'll never forget how he behaved on a Southwest flight from Burbank to LA.  Dude, you're flying Southwest quit acting like you should get first class service.  He also preboarded because he had a "medical condition" that required early boarding. Fucking clown.

You just admitted you fly Southwest. It's a flying clown car.

Who am I kidding? Most airlines are flying Wal-Marts these days. But I do hate Southwest.

23 minutes ago, LOHorn said:

This is facts. It’s worth noting that the arrangement from the version you are probably thinking of, the 1961 version, is perfect. Incredibly well done, from the strings at the top, the jazz guitar/ bass/ drums background arrangement, the solos, the countermelodies. Ralph Carmichael, arranger and conductor. Also really, really well produced and balanced. That album is full of great stuff. 

You sonofabitch. You're going to make me listen to Christmas music in September.

29 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

You wrote Burbank to LA. Did you mean LV or LAS?

Can all of you idiots stop talking about flying to Los Angeles from Burbank? Unless you're taking a helicopter or something private, there aren't flights between BUR and LAX. Jesus.

37 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

You wrote Burbank to LA. Did you mean LV or LAS?

Yes, that LA was supposed to be LAS.  Sorry for the typo.

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

I used to have the pictures of the banner from sportscenter saved on my phone, but I think they've been lost to time, which is a shame.

 

Here I found it for you.

Greg Davis, possible Iowa offensive coordinator | The Gazette

Oh wait, different banner.

  • Popular Post
25 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Can all of you idiots stop talking about flying to Los Angeles from Burbank? Unless you're taking a helicopter or something private, there aren't flights between BUR and LAX. Jesus.

Kobe Bryant Yes GIF

Edited by Deej

25 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Can all of you idiots stop talking about flying to Los Angeles from Burbank? Unless you're taking a helicopter or something private, there aren't flights between BUR and LAX. Jesus.

Im about to board my flight at DFW but I will double check this claim once I land at DAL. 

2 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I didn't even think about that. Too soon?

 

Eh, fuck that guy. (Awful about his daughter, obviously)

17 minutes ago, Deej said:

Kobe Bryant Yes GIF

Hey, that thread got us the @NowThis post.  Worth it?

20 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Here I found it for you.

Greg Davis, possible Iowa offensive coordinator | The Gazette

Oh wait, different banner.

That's still gotta be top 5 ridiculous things this board has pulled off

5 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Hey, that thread got us the @NowThis post.  Worth it?

That's still gotta be top 5 ridiculous things this board has pulled off

The fake Nick Saban airport announcement has to be number 1

3 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Hey, that thread got us the @NowThis post.  Worth it?

That's still gotta be top 5 ridiculous things this board has pulled off

Someone should keep a list, because there is going to be some wild shit coming down the pipe here over the next 12-15 months. 

Banner, Billboard, PedoBear, Wreath (did they really send a fucking wreath to Drunkenstein? I've never figured out whether it happened or not), txtow, Burnt Ends, HWH/TOF, Twitter/x Geoff Ketchum, ?? I know there's a lot more and I know some people can't handle some of it, but all of that shit cracks me up or makes me smile.

One of my personal favorites but I'm aware it's not a full board thing was winning a bet that had @SydneyCarton writing a personal paean to Greg Davis that then had Greg Davis earnestly respond in letter form while Sydney had to write a post on the FB board swearing his allegiance and affinity to Greg Davis, seriously, while being lampooned and shamed by other posters. God, that was pathetically fulfilling. 

3 minutes ago, Noozak said:

The fake Nick Saban airport announcement has to be number 1

See, I don't even know this one. Tell it.

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Someone should keep a list, because there is going to be some wild shit coming down the pipe here over the next 12-15 months. 

Banner, Billboard, PedoBear, Wreath (did they really send a fucking wreath to Drunkenstein? I've never figured out whether it happened or not), txtow, Burnt Ends, HWH/TOF, Twitter/x Geoff Ketchum, ?? I know there's a lot more and I know some people can't handle some of it, but all of that shit cracks me up or makes me smile.

One of my personal favorites but I'm aware it's not a full board thing was winning a bet that had @SydneyCarton writing a personal paean to Greg Davis that then had Greg Davis earnestly respond in letter form while Sydney had to write a post on the FB board swearing his allegiance and affinity to Greg Davis, seriously, while being lampooned and shamed by other posters. God, that was pathetically fulfilling. 

See, I don't even know this one. Tell it.

I can't remember who did it at this point so sorry for not giving credit where it's due. Back when the coaching search kicked off after we fired Mack there were all sorts of rumors that Saban was in town. Someone had the idea to call AUS and have them make a pick up announcement. The announcement said "Would Nicholas Saban please come to passenger pick up". Some employee didn't realize who it was for and went on the speaker and made the announcement. It got picked up on twitter almost immediately, and I am even sure it made it onto ESPN at one point. 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.