Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

It's November 1st and although it feels a little odd starting this thread during the year of suck that 2020 has been, it's turd-ition. May we all take comfort and find humor in the misery of others between Thanksgiving and NYE.

I feel for those of you who will be forced to make the "should we or shouldn't we gather" decision. Mrs Ghost and I are kidless so no pressure there. We've invited a good friend of ours over. He's 79 but you'd think he was no more than 65. So I'll smoke a small turkey for the 3 of us and we'll enjoy some Redbreast 12 on Thanksgiving which coincides w/ my b'day this year. My gift? Getting a colonoscopy the week before.

Bring it, Surly. We'll get through this together.

Uh, Covid 19 has been around a year now and getting worse as we enter fall/winter.   I would be happy to spend 5 days with my in-laws or my own parents at this time.    To cook for someone else, or to eat someone else's cooking would be wonderful.   To get family to entertain the kids for a change would be wonderful.  

I'm hoping certain members embrace a European style lockdown for themselves and stay the fuck away.

We know that's not going to happen, however...

Good call starting this right before the election.  My family is...diverse...politically, and we managed it bi 100% ignoring politics.  But I see indications it'll boil over.  As if my one vote for the old white man I prefer less is the reason our Democracy fails.  I'm feeling lots of angry eyes on me right now.  Disconcerting.

Edited by Parliament

  • Popular Post

Crazy sister in law (middle child, far right extremist, never wrong, etc) hosted a huge Halloween party a few weeks ago. Told my wife we wouldn't be attending which caused a huge argument between the sisters. Fast forward to last week and at least 6 of the people (including their brother and two of his kids) in attendance have tested positive for Covid.

Hopefully this will keep my interactions with the in laws to a minimum this holiday season...

36 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

This time of year has always annoyed me. 

I hope everyone dies.

This guy Surlys. 

  • Author

Although I like a cooler Thanksgiving I've got my fingers crossed for a mild day. Keep it 65-80 and we can enjoy the feast on our patio with our friend. I can't imagine how some of y'all are gonna manage a big indoor feast.

Every year (Shag and now Surly) this thread delivers.

My mother and her husband have been isolated since March, so it'll just be me, wife, and kiddo.  I can deal with that.
Mom has already said Christmas would be over Facetime.   I am tired of arguing with her about it, so just gonna make the best of it.  It does suck she hasn't been able to hug her grandson though.  

10 hours ago, SJS said:

Every year (Shag and now Surly) this thread delivers.

Did anyone save screenshots of the greatest hits from the other board?  I remember a story about someone's opioid-addicted sister and here enabling parents.  And a sister with a dumbass dog.  Comedic gold.

Maybe this year we can get a "Bitch about your family" and "2020 shart" crossover thread?

22 hours ago, chikin23 said:

Crazy sister in law (middle child, far right extremist, never wrong, etc) hosted a huge Halloween party a few weeks ago. Told my wife we wouldn't be attending which caused a huge argument between the sisters. Fast forward to last week and at least 6 of the people (including their brother and two of his kids) in attendance have tested positive for Covid.

Hopefully this will keep my interactions with the in laws to a minimum this holiday season...

tenor.gif

  • Popular Post

My parents have been divorced for decades but holidays became a true pleasure once I quit speaking to both of them and boxed my mom's side entirely out.
For her, I no longer have to suffer through the canned peas dumped in a bowl and microwaved along with a smoked turkey
because everyone is too lazy to cook unless I offer to do it. No more of the same farm and ranch discussions every single
year like it's the most important thing on earth. No more emotional breakdowns by her, or my brother, or whatever other drama is going on. 

Instead I keep the close company of friends and a small group of chosen family members around the holidays who are nothing but a joy to be with.
If your family sucks, don't be afraid to cut them out. Life's too short and this kind of happiness is liberating. Happy holidays 🤘

On 11/1/2020 at 7:11 AM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

It's November 1st and although it feels a little odd starting this thread during the year of suck that 2020 has been, it's turd-ition. May we all take comfort and find humor in the misery of others between Thanksgiving and NYE.

I feel for those of you who will be forced to make the "should we or shouldn't we gather" decision. Mrs Ghost and I are kidless so no pressure there. We've invited a good friend of ours over. He's 79 but you'd think he was no more than 65. So I'll smoke a small turkey for the 3 of us and we'll enjoy some Redbreast 12 on Thanksgiving which coincides w/ my b'day this year. My gift? Getting a colonoscopy the week before.

Bring it, Surly. We'll get through this together.

I’m getting my colonoscopy tomorrow. (No missing election ballot jokes please).

We will be cooking, but family members will have to settle for takeout service in our driveway.

Edited by Armybrat

On 11/1/2020 at 7:27 AM, Nivek said:

Uh, Covid 19 has been around a year now and getting worse as we enter fall/winter.   I would be happy to spend 5 days with my in-laws or my own parents at this time.    To cook for someone else, or to eat someone else's cooking would be wonderful.   To get family to entertain the kids for a change would be wonderful.  

I thought you meant you would want to spend time with your in-laws because you could give them covid and they would die. A little light bulb went off in my head. I'm going to see my in-laws in Tampa on Thanksgiving, and I'm taking the Greyhound bus there to do it. *cough cough*

  • Popular Post
I’m getting my colonoscopy tomorrow. (No missing election ballot jokes please).
We will be cooking, but family members will have to settle for takeout service in our driveway.

So the doctor will be stuffing the bird this year?

Great news!!
I just found out that we won’t be visiting the in-laws this Thanksgiving. No boxed mashed potatoes and cans green beans this year.

  • Author
2 hours ago, luke duke said:

Great news!!
I just found out that we won’t be visiting the in-laws this Thanksgiving. No boxed mashed potatoes and cans green beans this year.

Was this a mutual decision between your wife & her family and due to safety precautions? Or did you threaten to provide your own special glaze for the turkey if you had to eat the fake potatoes again?

We need another Waco holiday lights tour narrative. 

Best story ever.  My God I laughed so hard.

Wife's grandmother died in May at 88.  Married to pops 72 years.

Novermber 2 and Pops, 94,  is on his deathbed, hospice just making him comfortable.  If he makes it another 2 days I'll be surprised.

MIL's house is being remodeled, the goal was to have it done in time for a big family Thanksgiving, probably not gonna happen.

Looking more and more like the family gathering will be at the family crypt - 30.349888, -92.775319

Still, they had a hell of a run.

I'm sure I'll find something to bitch about, I always do.

 

  • Popular Post
So Pops was 22 when he married his 16 year old bride?
Very surly approved.
He was 21, it was 1948. And her folks had to sign for her. He was a recently discharged WW2 vet, had fought zee germans, they settled down and farmed just north of Welsh, LA. Boudreaux family.

Between em, they had 23 siblings, some who are now in their late 90s.

I'm sitting with him now.


6 hours ago, BHMCruiser said:

I thought you meant you would want to spend time with your in-laws because you could give them covid and they would die. A little light bulb went off in my head. I'm going to see my in-laws in Tampa on Thanksgiving, and I'm taking the Greyhound bus there to do it. *cough cough*

My in-laws are awesome.  Remodeling a house for us to stay in when I visit, feeding me drinks until I slur nightly, take the kids out for a walk, feed us.  Sure there is a little mother-daughter drama but I am immune to that.   FIL loves cfb and though he is a Mizzou alum, I went to Texas and so did his son, so he follows Texas a bit.  I also use their farm truck when I go hunting up there.    I want them to live forever. 

  • Author

Nivek's got the unicorn in-laws. Bravo.

Speaking of grandparents, my gramps proposed to my gramma eleven times and was politely turn down each time. He proposed a twelfth time shortly before shipping over to Europe in '44. Gramma said she couldn't stand the thought of him dying alone in battle so she said 'yes.' They had 70 good years together. He passed at 94 in '14, she followed 2 years later and also made it to 94.

Oh, and as much as I love my gramma, she made the driest turkey known to man. You could pour a gallon of gravy on it and it would still taste like drywall.

3 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

He was 21, it was 1948. And her folks had to sign for her. He was a recently discharged WW2 vet, had fought zee germans

God I’ve wasted my life

On 11/1/2020 at 10:27 AM, MissingInAction said:

This time of year has always annoyed me. 

I hope everyone dies.

Summer is the best time of the year, holiday season, especially Christmas sucks.

 

I'll be using the covid excuse to not see any family at all for thanks-a-lot or christmas. We will be staying home and chlling, maybe camping if its not too cold over thanks-a-lot.

225K+ dead, but that is the silver lining. 

My cousin and her husband in Houston have volunteered to host.  There will be several kids, all of whom have been going to school, plus several more adults from Houston, a few from SA, and allegedly me from Austin.  I figure that room will only have been exposed to about half the freaking state.

Plus there will be some aggy there.

The Austin contingent ain't gonna make it.

 

Edited by TexArcher

  • Popular Post
So Pops was 22 when he married his 16 year old bride?
Very surly approved.
Pops just passed peacefully, surrounded by family. Waiting for the hearse now.

Died as he lived, with quiet dignity.
  • Author
Pops just passed peacefully, surrounded by family. Waiting for the hearse now.

Died as he lived, with quiet dignity.
Glad you were able to be there during this time. Peace and love to your family. Safe journey, Pops.
10 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Pops just passed peacefully, surrounded by family. Waiting for the hearse now.

Died as he lived, with quiet dignity.

Lame. Mine died heroically rescuing his family from a sinking battleship. 

Edited by ztejas
obviously kidding. 94 in hospice surrounded by family isn't a bad way to go.

14 hours ago, Nivek said:

My in-laws are awesome.  Remodeling a house for us to stay in when I visit, feeding me drinks until I slur nightly, take the kids out for a walk, feed us.  Sure there is a little mother-daughter drama but I am immune to that.   FIL loves cfb and though he is a Mizzou alum, I went to Texas and so did his son, so he follows Texas a bit.  I also use their farm truck when I go hunting up there.    I want them to live forever. 

well....that's not my experience

 

2 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Pops just passed peacefully, surrounded by family. Waiting for the hearse now.

Died as he lived, with quiet dignity.

Sorry for your loss.

Is this thread where I get all pissed about all the Christmas decorations and songs coming too early?  Because i hate that shit.

 

the lady friend just cried in my chest over meeting my family on thanksgiving

i didn't remind her she has a 'bf' in rehab and staring down dui #3 (im not the bf). ill remind her tomorrow 

39 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

i didn't remind her she has a 'bf' in rehab

She needs to rip that bandaid off

3 minutes ago, ztejas said:

She needs to rip that bandaid off

 

im getting 90 days (minus 12 days and ticking) of great sex. she needs to stay in love 

5 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

im getting 90 days (minus 12 days and ticking) of great sex. she needs to stay in love 

Morgan Freeman Good Luck GIF

I wait every year for this thread

  • Popular Post

Ummmm... OK I'll play, It's a little before full on bitch about your family at the holidays time, but it's gonna be in full force, "I'm hating the holidays" mode, all the way thru Jan 1. 

My dad has inoperable pancreatic cancer.  He's in a full cost covered rehab facility to get some strength, and weight back on his bones.  He's been complaining the whole time about wanting to be home with his wife, and family, hates it there, it sucks.. etc. etc. etc.  It's exactly where he needs to be, because his second wife (kind of a bitch) wasn't taking care of him properly.  She was also beginning to show some early signs of dementia.

She died of a sudden, massive heart attack Wednesday. My father still doesn't know because you can't enter the facility because of Covid issues, and he wasn't thru the 14 day quarantine period where he could then go outside to talk to people, and I said we're for damn sure not telling him over the phone.

We were already making arrangements for him to go back home, but their house was completely unsuitable for him to be there, not safe, and he wasn't getting any care at all from his wife.  His house will not be ready for a couple more weeks, when he can (if he wants) go home, and pay for full time, 24/7, in home caregiver services, out of his pocket at $15,000 a month.  

So, we're now moving him to our home tomorrow, hospital bed, 24/7 in home care, etc. where we can tell him what's happened, with all the siblings there to break the news  of her sudden passing. He already thinks I fucked him over for putting him there, so somehow this will be my fault.  

And now for the rest of the story.  We're giving him our first floor master bedroom from now till Jan. 4 when our house sale closes, and we move out for good.  Now we'll have my dad, and his deceased wifes' socially unaware, and slightly conniving children (Their mantra: we're gonna get all the money, and property because your dad is gonna die before our mother) that we'll have to entertain off, and on from now, thru Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  

God damn I hate people !  I am going to be very fucking drunk this holiday season.  The only silver lining here is that maybe he, and I can have some quality time over this, his last holiday season.  

Damn, Onboard, my condolences.  That sucks.  Hopefully you can enjoy some good time with your dad.

Yeah, sorry to hear that man.  Hope you can make this holiday season a good one, or as good as it can be.  Peace be within you.  

On 11/2/2020 at 11:46 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

I'll be using the covid excuse to not see any family at all for thanks-a-lot or christmas. We will be staying home and chlling, maybe camping if its not too cold over thanks-a-lot.

225K+ dead, but that is the silver lining. 

Yep, that's where we are. Avoiding family gatherings this year. Reserved a turkey last week and thought about getting a small one since it's just me, my wife (who is having jaw surgery Wednesday and won't be chewing for 3+ months) and 3 boys 9 and under. 

Decided "Fuck it, I'm getting a big boy" and will have turkey 3-5 meals a day for a week. I plan on cooking a huge soup as well and freezing most of it for later.

3 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Ummmm... OK I'll play, It's a little before full on bitch about your family at the holidays time, but it's gonna be in full force, "I'm hating the holidays" mode, all the way thru Jan 1. 

My dad has inoperable pancreatic cancer.  He's in a full cost covered rehab facility to get some strength, and weight back on his bones.  He's been complaining the whole time about wanting to be home with his wife, and family, hates it there, it sucks.. etc. etc. etc.  It's exactly where he needs to be, because his second wife (kind of a bitch) wasn't taking care of him properly.  She was also beginning to show some early signs of dementia.

She died of a sudden, massive heart attack Wednesday. My father still doesn't know because you can't enter the facility because of Covid issues, and he wasn't thru the 14 day quarantine period where he could then go outside to talk to people, and I said we're for damn sure not telling him over the phone.

We were already making arrangements for him to go back home, but their house was completely unsuitable for him to be there, not safe, and he wasn't getting any care at all from his wife.  His house will not be ready for a couple more weeks, when he can (if he wants) go home, and pay for full time, 24/7, in home caregiver services, out of his pocket at $15,000 a month.  

So, we're now moving him to our home tomorrow, hospital bed, 24/7 in home care, etc. where we can tell him what's happened, with all the siblings there to break the news  of her sudden passing. He already thinks I fucked him over for putting him there, so somehow this will be my fault.  

And now for the rest of the story.  We're giving him our first floor master bedroom from now till Jan. 4 when our house sale closes, and we move out for good.  Now we'll have my dad, and his deceased wifes' socially unaware, and slightly conniving children (Their mantra: we're gonna get all the money, and property because your dad is gonna die before our mother) that we'll have to entertain off, and on from now, thru Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  

God damn I hate people !  I am going to be very fucking drunk this holiday season.  The only silver lining here is that maybe he, and I can have some quality time over this, his last holiday season.  

Does your dad care for his step kids? Cause if not, fuck ‘em.

 

 

And fuck cancer. (Pouring one out tonight for my homie Alex T.)

3 hours ago, Wiler77 said:

Yep, that's where we are. Avoiding family gatherings this year. Reserved a turkey last week and thought about getting a small one since it's just me, my wife (who is having jaw surgery Wednesday and won't be chewing for 3+ months) and 3 boys 9 and under. 

Decided "Fuck it, I'm getting a big boy" and will have turkey 3-5 meals a day for a week. I plan on cooking a huge soup as well and freezing most of it for later.

I don’t think I could do turkey five meals a day. 

1 hour ago, OrangEngr said:

Does your dad care for his step kids? Cause if not, fuck ‘em.And fuck cancer. (Pouring one out tonight for my homie Alex T.)

yeah this may be the operative issue going forward.  Once the news is broken to him, you might need to follow up about a week later on what he wants both families to get.  and you may need to hire an independent lawyer to take note of his wants for the disposition of the estate.  Sounds like no matter what, the other kids will contest the will unless its a 50/50 family split (which may not be the worst thing)

5 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

And now for the rest of the story.  We're giving him our first floor master bedroom from now till Jan. 4 when our house sale closes, and we move out for good.  Now we'll have my dad, and his deceased wifes' socially unaware, and slightly conniving children (Their mantra: we're gonna get all the money, and property because your dad is gonna die before our mother) that we'll have to entertain off, and on from now, thru Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  

Obviously condolences on the loss of your step-mother and hope Dad's final seasons are as painless as possible. 

Edited by AUS-97HORN

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.