Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

9 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

I’ll work from 730a to 5p. I’ll head home, hang out with my kids, and cook some steaks while my wife takes care of the sides. I’ll wash it down with a scotch or four and watch a rerun of Sunday at the 2019 Masters as a nightcap. 
 

I’ll check to see what happened with the election Wednesday morning.

Username sort of checks out.

About to work out, then work all day at the office.

6 pm dinner with the fam.

7 pm tennis with my son.

9 pm watch TV (not election).

10 pm bedtime.

I’m headed up to Home Depot. I want a new, crisp American flag to hang outside tomorrow morning.

Woke up, got outta bed. Dragged a comb across my head.

I thought about putting out our American Flag this morning because I think it's a right and proper expression of Freedom & Democracy.  But sadly, it's been politicized and I don't want all the construction guys next door to think I'm an asshole, I'm the only one on the street they can speak Spanish with.  

But on Wednesday, if things go well tonight, I'm gonna hoist it up proudly and fuck anybody that associates with Trump.  

If things don't go well tonight, I'm gonna hang it upside down I think.  

Edited by Lobo

Workout at 0730

Phone bank from 12-1500

See a client from 1600-1700

Pick up vegan pizza

Watch Americans stand up and take our country back

  • Popular Post
5 minutes ago, SubliminalHorn said:

Pick up vegan pizza

Watch Americans stand up and take our country back

These two statements are in conflict.

If I can take a lunch break, I’m planning to phone bank over lunch. Unsure it will do any good but maybe I can convince someone to vote.

 

3 minutes ago, South Austin said:

These two statements are in conflict.

Lil Nonna’s vegan pizza is legit af

Be good everyone and to those still knocking on doors and working the polls today you have nothing but respect from me! 

11AD2B84-EA9A-4642-B78D-048B4FC9F060.jpeg

My day is a work in progress.  

So far, woke up at 5:30.  

Went to vote at 5:45

Stood in line 5:55-6:50

Voted 6:50-6:55

Work - 7 to whenever

Workout - I have a rower at home, so I am going to intersperse my day with some workouts

Dinner - Eh, might go to the French bistro across the street for a bottle of wine and some good food before polls start closing

Tonight - staying at home to avoid craziness

 

Work, work, work.

Midmorning head out to pick up/drop off a few items.

Call in to Field Office to report on DT thread. (I kid, I kid)

Work, work, work.

Supper-homemade sloppy joes and sides.

Clean up. Let the games begin.

Hang in there everybody.

Work in AM,

workout at noon

spend the afternoon on this site

then Corzo Anejo and sexy time with, checks user name and avatar (fuck), Mala after putting...(goddamnit) Lumpy to bed.  

Then pay closer attention to the returns coming in. 

Look, if things go south today, just spend the next four years imagining that you are a religious minority an a authoritarian Muslim country. Every night you'll go to bed saying "That wasn't as bad a day as I thought it could be."

2 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

I might not make that 7:30 AM call.

Are you in Texas?  If so, we had several days to vote early.

All you fuckers saying "work out" are fucking lying.  Didn't realize we had a site full of olympians here!

^^^ I think they're training for the Civil War II deal that's supposed to start later this week.  If extremist videos have taught us anything, it's that the next war will be fought on monkey bars and involve flipping tires.  

Edited by Lobo

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

All you fuckers saying "work out" are fucking lying.  Didn't realize we had a site full of olympians here!

“Work out” is code for fapping.

Get up
Get smoker lit
Take kid to day care
Come back and get smoker to temp, pork butt on
Work til 5ish
Workout (Legs day.. never skip legs day)
Feed and bathe kid, put him to bed.
Eat bbq, start drinking, watch election on the patio with the wife until about 9pm when she goes to sleep. Then I'll be posting hot takes on Surly and on various text  message group threads until I'm either asleep or comatose.
 
Kid got up at 5am because of DST and I got my smoker too hot on accident. It's all fucked!

DOOM

Workout was only 2.5 hours plus cardio. DOOM

(gym was eerily empty compared to a regular Tuesday morning)

1 trump bro with this “trump 2020: the sequel” shirt.  He fat tho. 

Working.

Taking wife out to eat for taco Tuesday... hopefully to be parlayed with the pink taco later.

Staying the hell away from the news on TV, as it will be Hell on Wheels or some old Bill Burr shit.

Don't really care for the play-by-play.  It has zero bearing on the outcome.

Waking up at 2:30, not able to get back to sleep
Out of bed at 5:30
Canvassing at 6:00
Clean up dog piss at 8:30 b/c even tho he was out just 3 hours ago he pisses in the elevator
Check work email to see if anything needs done
Pass out hopefully about 9:00 am.

Working. And then drinking and smoking a LOT of weed. Hopefully end with banging my girlfriend with my freedom dick. 

 

Hey, you asked. 

11 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

I like Emma but do a Kendall metal ride instead to get your game face on.

 

11 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

She kicked the shit out of me on Saturday on a Pop ride. I might need some positive reinforcement from the Boo crew.  

 

11 hours ago, washparkhorn said:

image.png.30e49ea1366c60f671ddc48dfa23f586.png

 The Kendall Toole metal rides are the hardest ones I've fucking taken. 

4 am - Wake up, take a shit, fuck around on phone
5 am - Took a 45 minute Ally Love tabata ride and a cool down. Obligatory:

tenor.gif?itemid=18890680


6 am - Shower, get dressed, pack kid's lunch
7 am - Wake up kid, coax him into fucking eating his bfast, eat my bfast
7:45 - Take kid to daycare
8:15 - arrive at work, make coffee, surf this fucking website, answer emails
9-10 am - morning meeting
10-1130 - Work, but probably surf this fucking site
1130 - 1 - lunch. Maybe watch something on the DVR
1-4 - work
4-5 - Hit total wine, where I probably will NOT buy bourbon because I'm an irresponsible child and can't be trusted left to my own devices, head home
5-6 - play outside with kiddo, make his dinner
6-730 - feed kid, get him ready for bed, watch Disney Jr. 
730-4 am:

200.gif

 

No work on Wed. 

9:00 am curse whoever decided that the first thing maintenance needs to do each day is run a leaf blower for an hour

My company has us pushing to deliver something before our earnings call tomorrow, so I'll be glued to my desk all day and potentially into the night.  I told our CTO he could take his voter suppression and shove it, but he just laughed at me.  Any livestream better than any of the others?

Work, workout, lunch, work, dinner, stop work early and then get my mariachi music and tequila ready for tonight. As soon as off work drinking eagle rare and might celebrate with a good tequila or michters 10yr bourbon. Haven’t decided yet. Be safe out there tonight!

and if you hear mariachi music and Mexican gritos in queens, that’s me! USA USA USA!!

Trying to convince myself to put on pants and go vote between conference calls. I may just go without the pants. 

Listening to some tunes while working.  Fuck Donald Trump:

 

4am-7am: Triathlon

7-8am: steak, oysters and champagne

8-11am: Cocaine and group sex with Victoria's Secret models aboard Gulfstream en route to one of my islands

Noon-2pm: Work phones, install Urban as UT coach. Lunch at my own private Michelin 3-star restaurant.

2pm-6: More cocaine and group sex, this time with the last four cover girls of SI's swimsuit issue

7-11pm: Watch election returns while doing another triathlon; ensure election goes as planned. You're welcome, America. 

13 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

Trying to convince myself to put on pants and go vote between conference calls. I may just go without the pants. 

they call that the Hunter Gambit

52 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

The Kendall Toole metal rides are the hardest ones I've fucking taken. 

4 am - Wake up, take a shit, fuck around on phone
5 am - Took a 45 minute Ally Love tabata ride and a cool down. Obligatory:

+1 on those metal rides from Kendall being freaking hard. 

Also, I don't know how you early workout people can do this... I can barely power through a low impact ride at 8am. Just not a morning workout person I guess. 

7am work out

8am-10am conference calls

10am work out

11am lunch

12pm nap

1pm work out

2pm shower

3pm work out

4pm check emails 

5pm happy hour

6pm work out

7pm-9pm election coverage 

10pm work out

11pm work out in shower

12am sleep

 

Prerty straight forward day minus the election coverage 

Be useless at work all day and then come home and twist the cap.

11 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

Be useless at work all day and then come home and twist the cap.

Interesting euphemism.

Working, but checking Surly as often as time allows in order to witness the carnage.  Woke up early this morning and it seemed threads are already starting out angry, and as more people get their day drunk on, they will only get angrier/crazier.  By night I'm expecting to see pure unadulterated whackadoo.

Pretty sure I'll run out of laugh rep today, one way or the other.

 

Edited by MC Fresh Breath

Going to HEB if it’s open 

Well, my vote for Klan-Killah Dougie J got counted a week ago, so I have a clean conscience and have no idea what this election stress is that y'all are talking about.

But since you asked, gonna try to have a normal Monday on a Tuesday after hosting family who needed electricity and warm meals after Zeta ripped down 90% of the power lines in our ancestral county.

So:

Coffee (done)

Tend critters (done)

Promote my weird-ass artwork on Instagram (done)

Check Surly (in process)

Do some more weird-ass artwork

Figure out how to run Etsy discount coupons for previous customers of weird-ass artwork, so they will buy even more weird-ass artwork

Take my own ass for a long hike. I was in the Army when we learned pace counts. It's awesome. I take a handful of twigs and pass them from the left hand to the right every time my left foot hits the ground 100 times. Using the Army's 30" step, 1000 of these double paces equals 5,000 feet, ie, 1 Roman mile. Since I am long free of the Army, and am not a stunted-ass Roman carrying a ton of Roman crap, my step is a little longer, giving me a pretty accurate 1000 double paces = a Countries That Went To The Moon mile, 5280 feet for you GPS-needing phone-staring slack-jaws. Prolly hike past the polls to spy it out some.

Have a couple glasses of wine while I see which pretty colors the Illuminati have picked for each state this time.

Hopefully get up Nov 4 and do something similar.

33 minutes ago, YChang said:

+1 on those metal rides from Kendall being freaking hard. 

Also, I don't know how you early workout people can do this... I can barely power through a low impact ride at 8am. Just not a morning workout person I guess. 

I wager that my bedtime in no way resembles your bed time, is how. But if you do anything long enough, your body adjusts. Crossfit used to be at 530. You just incrementally move the wakeup time down...

5 minutes ago, MC Fresh Breath said:

 By night I'm expecting to see pure unadulterated whackadoo.

 

spacer.png

 

I just voted. In person. I meant to vote early but kept putting it off because it's a little bit of a drive. If the outer belt is a clock, I'm at 10:00 and it's at 2:00. I was expecting a long line. I brought a book. I didn't need it. 

I was in and out in less time than it would've taken me to drive to the board of elections. Probably took me 15 minutes. 

12 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

kentucky scotch whiskey?  does not compute. 

try the rye. it’s better. 

He said scotch, but the angel's envy pic he posted clearly says Bourbon. 

Man I just had an idea to get a beer from each swing state and open them as they're called (hopefully) for the good guys. Too late to execute though.

so are the liquor stores busier today...

or tomorrow?

Peregrine, this is Falcon. In sniper position 6. All clear east of the bunkers. Out.

Ooops. Wrong coms. Sorry guys.

Out.

I've been pretty much a bag of shit most of the morning trying to "work."  I think I'll hit the Peloton with my boy Ben at lunch to see if that clears the head a bit.  I've been on sober October and carried it through the weekend, so I'm looking forward to having the last few fingers of Pappy 15 I've been hanging on to for the last 5 or 6 years.  If things don't go the way I want them to, I'll leave that in the back of the cabinet in favor of some other swill that will do the trick. 

I'm ready for this shit to be over and am going to try my hardest not to be so fixated on f'n Twitter and this forum after the election is over. 

8 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

Man I just had an idea to get a beer from each swing state and open them as they're called (hopefully) for the good guys. Too late to execute though.

I don't know about swing states. But Two Hearted Ale from Bell's Brewing in Kalamazoo, MI and Commodore Perry IPA from Great Lakes Brewing in Cleveland, OH would both be worthy selections if they're available to you. 

I'm going to pick up some Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale because it's in season and it rocks. It's not like CA is a swing state but it's probably my favorite of the Christmas season beers. 

8 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I don't know about swing states. But Two Hearted Ale from Bell's Brewing in Kalamazoo, MI and Commodore Perry IPA from Great Lakes Brewing in Cleveland, OH would both be worthy selections if they're available to you. 

I'm going to pick up some Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale because it's in season and it rocks. It's not like CA is a swing state but it's probably my favorite of the Christmas season beers. 

 

image.thumb.png.d1b67e4c2773b4e2c620cfa3bc07f2fa.png

 

I can do almost all of it at Total Wine. Have a Kilt Lifter or two in the garage fridge to cover AZ and TX is covered obviously. I can't find anything from NC there, though. If I can do it in one trip I might make it happen.

1 minute ago, BradInATX said:

 

image.thumb.png.d1b67e4c2773b4e2c620cfa3bc07f2fa.png

 

I can do almost all of it at Total Wine. Have a Kilt Lifter or two in the garage fridge to cover AZ and TX is covered obviously. I can't find anything from NC there, though. If I can do it in one trip I might make it happen.

I think you should drink one beer for each swing state that goes wrong for you, and two beers for each one that goes right.

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.