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The Surly Official 2020 Corching Search Thread of DOOM and DESPAIR

If it ain't Urban, who do you want? 283 members have voted

  1. 1. Speaking of polls, I had sex with South_Austin's mom

    • Fickell
      84
    • Fleck
      12
    • Franklin
      8
    • Fuente
      5
    • Cristobal
      29
    • Allen
      19
    • Some NFL assistant ....name him
      10
    • Some college assistant.....name him
      3
    • Harbaugh
      11
    • Other....name him
      102

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

Featured Replies

Look Herman wasn't a bad bet.  He had promise and we all know many coaching hires don't work out.  The bad bet was extending him after the Sugar Bowl.  That is why we are in the fix we are in now.

 

Hiring another up and comer or a coach from a smaller school is not an auto-fail scenario.

Mainly, I think we need to stop thinking that money whipping some guy is going to magically solve our issues.

Let's find another good bet and make it and see how it plays out.

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  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    I am looking at things like this: Tier 1 - The Job Is Yours If You Change Your Mind & We Haven't Filled It Urban Meyer - dude is a flake. Crazier shit has happened, but folks I trust thi

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    I'm of the opinion that anyone mentioning rehiring Mack Brown in this thread should be neg-bombed into the abyss or outright IP banned from this site. 

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    In a text string with my buddies, including @SydneyCarton and @HenryJames , during & after the TCU game, we started talking seriously about getting Urban Meyer. Maybe more like fantasizing about i

Posted Images

  • Author
1 minute ago, GTX Horn said:

I wonder if Kubiak would try installing his pro-style offense? Either way it wouldn’t necessarily be an inspiring hire to put it mildly.

Per Nahlin:

Gary Kubiak, OC Minnesota Vikings: Your first thought is likely that this is a terrible idea. It was my thought for the first 30 seconds. However, I love his personality for the college game, I love his offense for the college game as well as the personnel on hand (Bijan in that wide zone running game, Card on bootlegs), and I have a lot of confidence he’d make great hires for defensive coordinator and offensive line. From a ’who to hire‘ to recruit standpoint, that would be an issue. Would he come in like Herm Edwards and hire a rainmaker like Antonio Pierce?

Kubiak is David Pierce’s brother-in-law and comes highly recommended. He would recruit the quarterback position extremely well — he’d land one of Quinn Ewers or Arch Manning. Peyton Manning would advocate for him. There’s a lot of subtle value with Kubiak.

Bottom line: The instant improvement in overall coaching, people skills, and ability to game plan would be through the roof. We haven’t heard much on this front since the middle of last week.

1 minute ago, closetohumping said:

Per Nahlin:

Gary Kubiak, OC Minnesota Vikings: Your first thought is likely that this is a terrible idea. It was my thought for the first 30 seconds. However, I love his personality for the college game, I love his offense for the college game as well as the personnel on hand (Bijan in that wide zone running game, Card on bootlegs), and I have a lot of confidence he’d make great hires for defensive coordinator and offensive line. From a ’who to hire‘ to recruit standpoint, that would be an issue. Would he come in like Herm Edwards and hire a rainmaker like Antonio Pierce?

Kubiak is David Pierce’s brother-in-law and comes highly recommended. He would recruit the quarterback position extremely well — he’d land one of Quinn Ewers or Arch Manning. Peyton Manning would advocate for him. There’s a lot of subtle value with Kubiak.

Bottom line: The instant improvement in overall coaching, people skills, and ability to game plan would be through the roof. We haven’t heard much on this front since the middle of last week.

We have officially jumped the shark. What a fucking laughing stock we are in college football.

12 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

IT names:

 

Mullen - not happening he’s just jockeying for raise 

Kubiak - LMAO

 

 

 

 

Campbell - yes

Dykes - no

Sark - yes

Mario - no

Franklin - fuck no

Done

Dude, Kubiak's system would be killer at the college level. QBs would love coming to Texas. Think Kyle Shanahan's offense, which tree'd off of Kubiak's.

Just dunno what kinda staff he'd assemble, or how well he'd be at recruiting etc... It's an interesting thought tbh. 

Just now, closetohumping said:

Per Nahlin:

Gary Kubiak, OC Minnesota Vikings: Your first thought is likely that this is a terrible idea. It was my thought for the first 30 seconds. However, I love his personality for the college game, I love his offense for the college game as well as the personnel on hand (Bijan in that wide zone running game, Card on bootlegs), and I have a lot of confidence he’d make great hires for defensive coordinator and offensive line. From a ’who to hire‘ to recruit standpoint, that would be an issue. Would he come in like Herm Edwards and hire a rainmaker like Antonio Pierce?

Kubiak is David Pierce’s brother-in-law and comes highly recommended. He would recruit the quarterback position extremely well — he’d land one of Quinn Ewers or Arch Manning. Peyton Manning would advocate for him. There’s a lot of subtle value with Kubiak.

Bottom line: The instant improvement in overall coaching, people skills, and ability to game plan would be through the roof. We haven’t heard much on this front since the middle of last week.

disgusted true detective GIF

Because CDC failed, any other hire is change for the sake of change. We are going nowhere fast. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

We will look back on Herman winning 3 straight bowl games as the good old days. 

Let's roll the dice on Fickell and embrace the suckage. 

1 minute ago, UncleBuck said:

Dude, Kubiak's system would be killer at the college level. QBs would love coming to Texas. Think Kyle Shanahan's offense, which tree'd off of Kubiak's.

Just dunno what kinda staff he'd assemble, or how well he'd be at recruiting etc... It's an interesting thought tbh. 

At least he is the BIL of Pierce so at least has some insight into recruiting and would not being coming in completely blind. Also has 2 years at aggy in the early 90s as a coach.

I agree Kubiak is an interesting idea.

An Aggie but also from the State of Texas.  I do think his offense could translate to college.

As long as you don't overpay, lock into some enormous contract, then I could live with the bet.

 

  • Author
2 minutes ago, UncleBuck said:

Dude, Kubiak's system would be killer at the college level. QBs would love coming to Texas. Think Kyle Shanahan's offense, which tree'd off of Kubiak's.

Just dunno what kinda staff he'd assemble, or how well he'd be at recruiting etc... It's an interesting thought tbh. 

Like Nahlin said, it was a fuck no at first, but Kubiak was a former NFL hc and isnt' an ass.  He could work here honestly.  Bring some old NFL guys as coaches?  That has to help with recruiting.  Kubiak certainly knows offense and Peyton does seem to like him.  Flip side is Kubiak is an aggy and Peyton endorsed Adam Gase

  • Author
1 minute ago, burdine said:

I agree Kubiak is an interesting idea.

An Aggie but also from the State of Texas.  I do think his offense could translate to college.

As long as you don't overpay, lock into some enormous contract, then I could live with the bet.

 

He's pretty old too.  This is likely a five year hire.

8 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Kubiak is interesting - though I assume thats the name @closetojumping referred to as 'cancer'.

 

Correct. I’m checking out if that’s the hire. IT is floating some weak candidates. Sark? Kubiak? Fuck all of that. 

Of all of the names listed, Matt Campbell is the safest hire to prevent a total collapse of Texas football. If we hired Gary Fucking Kubiak we might as well all go fist ourselves. 

Just now, closetohumping said:

Like Nahlin said, it was a fuck no at first, but Kubiak was a former NFL hc and isnt' an ass.  He could work here honestly.  Bring some old NFL guys as coaches?  That has to help with recruiting.  Kubiak certainly knows offense and Peyton does seem to like him.  Flip side is Kubiak is an aggy and Peyton endorsed Adam Gase

Also he'd get some OL drafted high IMO. I had never thought about this. As a Texans fan I wouldn't want him coaching my NFL team, but if done right, I could see this working in college. I dunno. This is a weird feeling for me. 

13 minutes ago, The Beast said:

Jesus's?

He is not.  That guy is going straight to hell.  You heard it directly from Jesus's mouth 

2 minutes ago, JFKFC said:

Because CDC failed, any other hire is change for the sake of change. We are going nowhere fast. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

We will look back on Herman winning 3 straight bowl games as the good old days. 

Let's roll the dice on Fickell and embrace the suckage. 

Whatever.

There are plenty of coaches out there that could beat OU, win bowl games, and the occasional conference crown. We don't need a Meyer-level guy to do that.

(To win an NC soon, yes, we need that, but respectability can be achieved much more easily.)

Kubiak seems like a reasonably good choice considering the circumstances.

My initial thoughts on Kubiak

Offensive witch, his system would kill in the big 12.

No idea about recruiting, he'd have to hire some rainmakers.

With his experience he has a ton of connections he could mine for staff hires, would be very interested to hear who he would consider for DC.

Kubiak could bring in Wade Phillips, get the band back together

1 minute ago, Frank Gallagher said:

I thought Kubiak had a stroke.

I think it'd be best for him to stay a coordinator tbh. I don't see how being a college HC at a big time U would be healthy for him. 

1 minute ago, UncleBuck said:

Also he'd get some OL drafted high IMO. I had never thought about this. As a Texans fan I wouldn't want him coaching my NFL team, but if done right, I could see this working in college. I dunno. This is a weird feeling for me. 

I agree. the texans part of my brain hates it...but his offense would play well in college IMO and hes smart enough to know to make the right hires for DC.......recruiting would be worrisome unless he brings an absolute rainmaker with him

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Correct. I’m checking out if that’s the hire. IT is floating some weak candidates. Sark? Kubiak? Fuck all of that. 

Why do you hate the idea of Kubiak?

Just now, SimkinsMan said:

Kubiak seems like a reasonably good choice considering the circumstances.

Because our circumstances are shit, the Kubiak hire would be shit. Kubiak is a tool. He's a cake-eater. He's a clown and a bad coach, and I don't like to cast aspersions on a guy, but he's going to get us all killed. 

2 minutes ago, UncleBuck said:

I think it'd be best for him to stay a coordinator tbh. I don't see how being a college HC at a big time U would be healthy for him. 

Compared to big time college programs, the NFL is a 9-5 job.  If the stress consumed him at the Texans, can't see it working.

Kubiak has 4 Super Bowl rings, one as a Head Coach.

I think the job probably wouldn't be too big for him at least.

He probably knows some really good OL coaches.

I like him better than Fickell or Cristobal types.

The key thing is not to get locked into some enormous contract.

  • Author
3 minutes ago, tx ind said:

Kubiak could bring in Wade Phillips, get the band back together

I think Wade is a little long in the tooth.  

 

Think of getting a guy like Schlereth as OL coach or Demarcus Ware as DL coach?  I'm just throwing shit out

2 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

recruiting would be worrisome unless he brings an absolute rainmaker with him

Yah, I have no clue how recruiting would be. Seems like every candidate we're down to discussing has at least one of the important boxes he doesn't check off. Kubiak's would be recruiting at the moment. Also, would be be too controlling of the offense like he was in Houston? Not saying I'm on board, but it's just a name I had never considered, but know a lot about. 

Just now, closetohumping said:

I think Wade is a little long in the tooth.  

 

Think of getting a guy like Schlereth as OL coach or Demarcus Ware as DL coach?  I'm just throwing shit out

Christopher Reeve Meme GIF

Just now, theBigHen said:

Why is Tom Allen not a viable option? 

he looks like an alien. Pass. 

6 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Like Nahlin said, it was a fuck no at first, but Kubiak was a former NFL hc and isnt' an ass.  He could work here honestly.  Bring some old NFL guys as coaches?  That has to help with recruiting.  Kubiak certainly knows offense and Peyton does seem to like him.  Flip side is Kubiak is an aggy and Peyton endorsed Adam Gase

Charlie Weiss did that, it didnt work. If we go Kubiak, he would need to go with some recruiting witches at the positional coaches and a top flight OC/DC for it to have any chance at all. And I just don't think it would. 

Just now, UncleBuck said:

he looks like an alien. Pass. 

Good point. 

I forgot about the stroke thing, probably not a good idea for him to take a job like Texas HC.

  • Author
3 minutes ago, burdine said:

Kubiak has 4 Super Bowl rings, one as a Head Coach.

I think the job probably wouldn't be too big for him at least.

He probably knows some really good OL coaches.

I like him better than Fickell or Cristobal types.

The key thing is not to get locked into some enormous contract.

He's also from Texas, has a great network, one would think.  I don't think he's after a big contract, maybe he wants to live in Texas again and mentor kids?  He's aggy, but I also think he's an ok guy.  

2 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

Charlie Weiss did that, it didnt work. If we go Kubiak, he would need to go with some recruiting witches at the positional coaches and a top flight OC/DC for it to have any chance at all. And I just don't think it would. 

nm

Edited by UncleBuck

My dad played baseball with Kubiak. Said he was slow as shit & would always get thrown out stealing. 

I forgot about the stroke thing, probably not a good idea for him to take a job like Texas HC.

1 minute ago, Vertigo said:

Charlie Weiss did that, it didnt work. If we go Kubiak, he would need to go with some recruiting witches at the positional coaches and a top flight OC/DC for it to have any chance at all. And I just don't think it would. 

I agree about recruiting witches, just because we can't be so sure how Kubiak would be, but I will say: the guy is likable as all shit. Dude would win over every mom and dad. 

2 minutes ago, theBigHen said:

Why is Tom Allen not a viable option? 

1 COVID successful season at Indiana.  Napier, Fickell, Campbell would all be well ahead of him in the pecking order. 

3 minutes ago, elguapo said:

I forgot about the stroke thing, probably not a good idea for him to take a job like Texas HC.


The fact that we are talking about a coach who had a stroke makes me want to kill myself. 

After losing my mind last night I'm much more optimistic about things this morning.  You could talk me into just about any candidate (Tom Allen can stay the fuck in Indiana) and its going to be an improvement over Herman.  Tom is hated by players, coaches, boosters, Admin, and fans.  He got his dream job and then did everything he could to sabotage himself, the people that work under him, and the players most of all.  We need to cut that cancer out.

And if it means Gary Kubiak, or Jeff Traylor, or Steve Sark end up as the next head coach of the Texas Longhorns I'll be excited about it.  Because Tom Herman is no longer the head coach and embarrassing the university on a daily basis.

10 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Correct. I’m checking out if that’s the hire. IT is floating some weak candidates. Sark? Kubiak? Fuck all of that. 

These candidates all suck and are likely to be no better than Herman. I have posted this on other threads, but this is why we need to think outside the box and completely change how contracts are written in college football! We need a sellable plan to the BMDs that we can buy out Herman and his assistants, yet not cost much more than if we kept Herman. Herman has $18.75mn left for the final 3 years of his deal and a $15mn buyout. If we offered only a $4.5mn guaranteed contract over 3 years, we would be paying only $750k more than if we kept Herman for the next 3 years and we would get rid of his smug ass and save our 2022 recruiting class!

Why do we have to keep giving these G5 coaches a 5 year $5mn per year guaranteed contract coming off $1-$2mn contracts at their small schools?  This just leads to our constant cycle of locking into the wrong guy and having to beg big donors to buyout bad contracts. 

We should reset how contracts in football are made by finding coaches who are hungry to win at UT. Offer a short-term incentive-laden contract, which is say 3 years and a $1.5mn per season. But, you get a $2mn bonus for a 10 win season, an added $1.5mn bonus if you beat OU, an added $2mn bonus if you win a conference championship, an added $2 million bonus if you make the playoffs, an added $2mn bonus if you make the championship game and another $2 mn bonus if you win the National Championship. So, we are only guaranteeing $4.5mn over 3 years, but a coach can make up to $13mn and should make at least $5mn (win 10 games and beat OU or win conference).  We can always extend 2 years if he is a badass for recruiting purposes. We can also offer EVERYTHING we offered Meyer like $3mn for assistants, complete control and his own assistant AD for recruiting who can coordinate player “imaging rights” with big donors going forward, etc. That way we have some institutional deniability and reason to fire with cause yet provide CDC and Hartzell some cover should the new assistant AD/new coach get caught stretching the limits by a completely neutered NCAA (i.e. we won't be punished by the NCAA bc we will be doing what every $EC school does)

Coaches like Jamey Chadwell (who has worked miracles at Coastal Carolina, which did not even have football 4 years ago, and who makes just $375,000), Jeff Traylor (who makes a base of $800k at UTSA), or Bill Napier (who only makes $880k and up to just $950k at Louisiana Lafayette) would totally jump at this contract offer! They would just want the chance to be the UT coach, much less double or more their base salary and have a potential to make $5mn+ just for meeting expectations and up to $13mn in a year.

1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

I'm reminded of the poet and erudite, Clark Griswold:  "Worse? How can things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell!"   Tech coming in to raid from the west, OU and Ohio State in the north, ATM, LSU, Bama and the rest of the SEC and Clemson to the east, and USC possibly hiring someone competent in the near term, we need to wake up every day and thank God there is no one to the south. We're Rome in 476 if we get this next move wrong. We need someone who will call the fucking banners and take back the empire. 

 

tumblr_n9srf9JBPA1rhuccro1_500.gif

Edited by LTtxfan

Just now, UT Lax said:

These candidates all suck and are likely to be no better than Herman. I have posted this on other threads, but this is why we need to think outside the box and completely change how contracts are written in college football! We need a sellable plan to the BMDs that we can buy out Herman and his assistants, yet not cost much more than if we kept Herman. Herman has $18.75mn left for the final 3 years of his deal and a $15mn buyout. If we offered only a $4.5mn guaranteed contract over 3 years, we would be paying only $750k more than if we kept Herman for the next 3 years and we would get rid of his smug ass and save our 2022 recruiting class!

Why do we have to keep giving these G5 coaches a 5 year $5mn per year guaranteed contract coming off $1-$2mn contracts at their small schools?  This just leads to our constant cycle of locking into the wrong guy and having to beg big donors to buyout bad contracts. 

We should reset how contracts in football are made by finding coaches who are hungry to win at UT. Offer a short-term incentive-laden contract, which is say 3 years and a $1.5mn per season. But, you get a $2mn bonus for a 10 win season, an added $1.5mn bonus if you beat OU, an added $2mn bonus if you win a conference championship, an added $2 million bonus if you make the playoffs, an added $2mn bonus if you make the championship game and another $2 mn bonus if you win the National Championship. So, we are only guaranteeing $4.5mn over 3 years, but a coach can make up to $13mn and should make at least $5mn (win 10 games and beat OU or win conference).  We can always extend 2 years if he is a badass for recruiting purposes. We can also offer EVERYTHING we offered Meyer like $3mn for assistants, complete control and his own assistant AD for recruiting who can coordinate player “imaging rights” with big donors going forward, etc. That way we have some institutional deniability and reason to fire with cause yet provide CDC and Hartzell some cover should the new assistant AD/new coach get caught stretching the limits by a completely neutered NCAA (i.e. we won't be punished by the NCAA bc we will be doing what every $EC school does)

Coaches like Jamey Chadwell (who has worked miracles at Coastal Carolina, which did not even have football 4 years ago, and who makes just $375,000), Jeff Traylor (who makes a base of $800k at UTSA), or Bill Napier (who only makes $880k and up to just $950k at Louisiana Lafayette) would totally jump at this contract offer! They would just want the chance to be the UT coach, much less double or more their base salary and have a potential to make $5mn+ just for meeting expectations and up to $13mn in a year.

Cool man you should go start a thread about it.

If someone like Traylor or Kubiak or similar were to become Head Coach - Texas would need to have a big say in Assistants and support staff.  We can't let yet another head coach bring in a G5 level staff.

33 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

IT names:

 

Mullen

Kubiak

 

 

 

 

Campbell

Dykes

Sark

Mario

Franklin

Isn’t Sark more of a drunk than Herman?

26 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

So you want a coach that's never lost to a team with inferior talent? Then your list is no one. Games all have a win/loss probability. Crazy things happen that lead to upsets. The point is that those odds get much better with UT talent, so a 7-2 ISU team becomes an 8-1 or 9-0 UT team. In other words, a playoff team.

Saban was 34-24 at Michigan St. and they are a stronger program than ISU. Urban was 8-5 his last year at Florida.

Is Louisiana a bad loss? Of course. But they're actually ranked this year. Ok St definitely has more talent in terms of recruiting rankings.

The difference is that Herman played cupcakes every single week at UH, not the weekly competition of a P5 conference, so it was a much bigger transition. Campbell is already doing it in our conference against the exact same opponents.

Now, I would like to see Campbell maintain his success without Purdy but that's not an option for us.

No I only mentioned the final year before moving on to their NC job. By not losing to lesser talent in the final year before getting a bigger job it tells me they learned along the way how to perform and coach to the point that they maximized their talent to its' fullest. They played to a higher standard and only lost to better or equal talent. Also, in my criteria they have at least 4 years coaching experience so it means they are doing the job with their recruits. It means the players on the field have been in his program for the entirety of their careers and are not using prior culture to help the new coach win.

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