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but not in my car behind the Cheesecake factory.

 

That’s the best part of the story.

 

 

And yes you would.

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  • HornOnTheBayou
    HornOnTheBayou

    Hey @Helobious, would you mind saying, "I don't see any way Salma Hayek shows up at HornOnTheBayou's house and fucks him silly"?   Please and thank you.

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    You're just going to have to try harder.  That's not acceptable 

  • Are you aware of how fantastic of a malapropism this is? 

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I'm not going to lie.  I probably would, but not in my car behind the Cheesecake factory.
But she only gets a 15 minute break.
17 minutes ago, Modessit said:
9 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:
I'm not going to lie.  I probably would, but not in my car behind the Cheesecake factory.

But she only gets a 15 minute break.

Wonder what they did for the other 14 minutes.

As a 50 something software salesman, I'd nail the fuck out of her; as a starting QB in the NFL?  Not so much. 

I can't stop laughing.  Mayfield got a BJ from some fatty behind the cheesecake factory.  It is like a Ferris Bueller rumor.  That interview is hilarious.  

"Did he even buy you a slice of cheesecake afterwards?"

"No he didn't"

"What a guy"

He apparently sent her an artsy dick pic to her phone too.

Edited by Moby Ric

some other bimbo called in and had a very similar story, they both said he said a couple of the same things to them. neither was too impressed with his , uhhmm, size or stamina. 

17 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm not going to lie.  I probably would, but not in my car behind the Cheesecake factory.

So you like Baker, but not that much?

8 hours ago, DixonHur said:

Wonder what they did for the other 14 minutes.

Tearful apology. 

I mean, his standards apparently aren't that high. I'm sure she has a nice little body, but why the long face?

gettyimages-1203426351-e1581451684936.jpg?quality=65&strip=all&w=780

2 minutes ago, Spider2YBanana said:

I heard it was fat girls?

Fat, ugly, both have to work harder.

1 hour ago, 'stache said:

I mean, his standards apparently aren't that high. I'm sure she has a nice little body, but why the long face?

gettyimages-1203426351-e1581451684936.jpg?quality=65&strip=all&w=780

She’s a 9.7 in Oklahoma 

3 minutes ago, perfectchaos007 said:

She’s a 9.7 in Oklahoma 

Image result for false meme

8 minutes ago, perfectchaos007 said:

She’s a 9.7 in Oklahoma 

Hell no. You could open a can of chili with that chin. 

2 hours ago, Sandman said:

Hell no. You could open a can of chili with that chin. 

Image result for family guy chin safe gif

2 hours ago, Sandman said:

Hell no. You could open a can of chili with that chin. 

So, that's an advantage, then, right? As long as she can fetch a beer when she gets you your chili.

38 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Image result for family guy chin safe gif

family guy is fucking ruthless.  who is that supposed to be?

20 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

So, that's an advantage, then, right? As long as she can fetch a beer when she gets you your chili.

And if the chili has beans??????

9 minutes ago, futureman said:

family guy is fucking ruthless.  who is that supposed to be?

Reese Witherspoon I think? 

11 minutes ago, futureman said:

family guy is fucking ruthless.  who is that supposed to be?

Reese Witherspoon, I believe.

4 hours ago, 'stache said:

I mean, his standards apparently aren't that high. I'm sure she has a nice little body, but why the long face?

gettyimages-1203426351-e1581451684936.jpg?quality=65&strip=all&w=780

Image result for troll face

3 hours ago, perfectchaos007 said:

She’s a 9.7 in Oklahoma 

Oklahoma law limits women to 3.2 or less. 

9 hours ago, 'stache said:

I mean, his standards apparently aren't that high. I'm sure she has a nice little body, but why the long face?

gettyimages-1203426351-e1581451684936.jpg?quality=65&strip=all&w=780

For a second there I thought his hat said Mahomes.

On 2/11/2020 at 5:05 PM, 'stache said:

Lol, I ain't gonna listen for 30 minutes, but clicked through and caught that the beej was in his car behind the Cheesecake factory? Cleveland is a classy ass city.

Who hasn't gotten a beej in their car in questionable places?

10 hours ago, Spider2YBanana said:

I heard it was fat girls?

Absolutely.

10 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Who hasn't gotten a beej in their car in questionable places?

depends on your definition of questionable. 

15 minutes ago, futureman said:

depends on your definition of questionable. 

Is downtown Shiro, Texas questionable (just before the railroad tracks)?

1 hour ago, futureman said:

depends on your definition of questionable. 

Parking lot of a Taco Cabana?

Parking area at @Zepol87 old apartment complex in Denton?

12 hours ago, 'stache said:

I mean, his standards apparently aren't that high. I'm sure she has a nice little body, but why the long face?

gettyimages-1203426351-e1581451684936.jpg?quality=65&strip=all&w=780

That bitch is gonna make it Mac tonight.

spacer.png

16 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Parking lot of a Taco Cabana?

Parking area at @Zepol87 old apartment complex in Denton?

Yes you sick fuck. Applebee's in Grand prairie holla though

She’s a 9.7 in Oklahoma 

 

 

Yeah but fracking has really fucked up the richter scale equivalence

10 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

Who hasn't gotten a beej in their car in questionable places?

How about the parking lot at a retirement home?  Ain't nobody out wandering around after about 8:30PM...

33 minutes ago, Loose Stool said:

How about the parking lot at a retirement home?  Ain't nobody out wandering around after about 8:30PM...

Was it from an old woman from the retirement home? Go on...

Edited by Vic Mackey

9 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

Yes you sick fuck. Applebee's in Grand prairie holla though

Don't try to act like it wasn't you giving the bjs

  • Popular Post
27 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Was it from an old woman from the retirement home? Go on...

And the address. 

2 hours ago, Loose Stool said:

How about the parking lot at a retirement home?  Ain't nobody out wandering around after about 8:30PM...

Username.... etc.

19 hours ago, SizzleChest said:

#Baker’s’Cakers

#Bake’sCakes

 

 

The Bake is caked. 

20 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Oklahoma law limits women to 3.2 or less. 

They have recently voted to allow them to be above 3.2 now. 

Who hasn't gotten a beej in their car in questionable places?

GOTTEN a beej? No never.

Whataburger parking lot...spicy ketchup special memory, keeps on giving.

9 minutes ago, Horn Draoi said:

Whataburger parking lot...spicy ketchup special memory, keeps on giving.

best part of the date ended up as a brown stain on the back seat.

Go Cleveland!!!

Both the Burnet & Chief drive-ins, Redbud Isle, and Windy Point come to mind.

Maybe y’all’s moms & grandmas can think of some more.

Remember those lounge areas in the hallways of the UTC, with the couches? Well ...

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