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Featured Replies

21 minutes ago, Real Papi said:

Damn was impressed by Sark’s first staff selections but this is horrible IMO.  This jack off was fired by his brother for being horrible and an ass.  Hope someone was just putting this out as a rumor to see what happens.  

No he wasn't.

Edited by Bevo

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  • Sheep Have Wool
    Sheep Have Wool

    https://www.captiongenerator.com/2107502/SurlyHorns-Reacts-to-the-Coaching-Search Enable subtitles if you're watching embedded.  

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    Just got a text from my friend in the Bama program that Flood and Wiggins are going with Sark. It's done.

  • nope, reposding to other posters. You want an asshole? I'll show you an asshole I'm gonna lose to OU THIS many times   Texas fucking sucks now, and you ALLLLLLL know it. Good

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10 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Listen, numb nuts, stop posting. Everyone here knows that at best you know jack shit, and at worst you're mentally deranged and unhinged. You still think that the Texas Legislature has to approve of funds for a football coach, and you still had no clue the hall of fame was in the North End Zone and not the south weeks after the construction had completed. You're a fucking buffoon smelling your own farts. You don't know jack shit about the workings of the AD, Bellmont, or a woman's clitoris. 

Lol.

I wasn't sure I ever mentioned the Legislature has to appropriate funds for college football coaches, but of fabricating such nonsense is important to your narrative, I guess you gotta be you.

And yes, I was wrong about the positioning of the Hall of Fame. And I admitted that major faux pas and corrected myself.

As for your insistence that Bellmont doesn't hide the influence of donors from accountability, or try to control the flow of information surrounding the management of the athletics programs, I think you might be a bit off base.

And by "a bit," I mean "completely."

Not holding donors who insist on involving themselves into the hiring.firing of coaches and ADs accountable for their idiotic decisions is a major problem for a number of programs. It is especially problematic for the UT Austin program. Fabrication a narrative to the contrary might be your way of cooping with the situation, but it doesn't do anything to solve the problem.

As long as CDC continues the practice of trying to control the flow of information, there will be outsiders charging $9.95 to exploit the information vacuum. (Jimmy Sexton and Nick Saban's wife's realtor both say hi, by the way)

Deal with it. Or not. Your choice.

Edited by Randolph Duke

  • Popular Post
40 minutes ago, NoName said:

Baizer is pretty far from annoying?

I appreciate the "?" giving me room to prove you wrong

37 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

Not a popular take but I wouldn't care if he came in as an analyst. The one good thing I can say about Casey Horny was that fucker was put in a dark room somewhere and never heard from for 3 years. If that happened to Stoops I wouldn't really care.

It helped that no one knew what Casey Horny looked like so we didn't know him if we saw him. Mike Stoops would be very different. There would be all kinds of pictures of that Stay Puft Marshmallow Man-looking motherfucker walking around campus.

1 minute ago, Randolph Duke said:

As long as CDC anyone AD in the country continues the practice of trying to control the flow of information, there will be outsiders charging $9.95 to exploit the information vacuum.

you say this like it is unique to Texas when in fact it exists at every P5 program in the country.

in fact, as long as anyone in power anywhere tries to control the flow of information, there will be people exploiting that information vacuum.

thanks for this wealth of wisdom!

Just now, Randolph Duke said:

Lol.

I wasn't sure I ever mentioned the Legislature has to appropriate funds for college football coaches, but of fabricating such nonsense is important to your narrative, I guess you gotta be you.

And yes, I was wrong about the positioning of the Hall of Fame. And I admitted that major faux pas and corrected myself.

As for your insistence that Bellmont doesn't hide the influence of donors from accountability, or try to control the flow of information surrounding the management of the athletics programs, I think you might be a bit off base.

And by "a bit," I mean "completely."

Not holding donors who insist on involving themselves into the hiring.firing of coaches and ADs accountable for their idiotic decisions is a major problem for a number of programs. It is especially problematic for the UT Austin program. Fabrication a narrative to the contrary might be your way of cooping with the situation, but it doesn't do anything to solve the problem.

As long as CDC continues the practice of trying to control the flow of information, there will be outsiders charging $9.95 to exploit the information vacuum. Deal with it. Or not. Your choice.

1.) you said Herman would never be fired this year. Or next, I believe. And you cited funds and money and the Legislature. Defend that, moron.

2) I never said Bellmont didn't try to control narratives...even remotely. As long as we're talking made up bullshit. Please quote where I did. What I said was you're a stupid moron who doesn't know shit about Bellmont. 

The rest of your screed about your personal opinions of whatever the fuck you're attempting to purport are classic Randolph Duke, and as usual about as informative or helpful as Mike Stoops on a defensive football staff. I feel sorry for you. 

6 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

Incoming RD deep dive essay about how the clitoris is a myth with newspaper clipping citation from the Salem Witch Trials.

 

 

tenor[1].gif

1 hour ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

He kind of did though.  First tried to hire him as DC but that was shot down - then tried to sneak him through as a LB coach.  We'll see if he goes for the triple and tries to bring him on as an analyst.

Yeah hopefully Mike Stoops has to go elsewhere now... No room for that asshole anywhere at TEXAS !!!

me checking in during work to see the coaching thread blew up, ooh what good news did we get

 

Send Tom Hanks GIF

 

mike stoops? 

Angry Season 4 GIF by The Office

 

is not happening?

Thank God Seinfeld GIF by HULU

1 minute ago, LTtxfan said:

Yeah hopefully Mike Stoops has to go elsewhere now... No room for that asshole anywhere at TEXAS !!!

I mean I don't give a shit if he becomes an analyst. Would prefer if that didn't happen either but not going to get pissed about it.

4 minutes ago, OnAComputer said:

I appreciate the "?" giving me room to prove you wrong

ha i don't think you are just to be clear!

3 hours ago, SimkinsMan said:

Now saying CDC, who is close to Stoops, may have initially greenlit the deal. Then the phone lines lit up with rage and the deal was taken off the table. Thank god. 

This smells like bullshit culled straight from the ass of Super K.  They haven't been right about much during the coaching search and probably resent CDC utilizing FCB as his preferred leak.

44 minutes ago, Wanker Bob said:

As an outsider who came here for the Trump board and has no college football affiliation (outside of an Ivy league school which I couldn't care less about it's football program) that was one of the biggest things I noticed and mentioned before. Maybe if there was only 1 or 2 of these parasitic leeches then it wouldn't be so bad but there's like 5 or 6 just on this one program. All competing for a limited pool of fan dollars so they will definitely harass players and coaches and at times make things up or guess. In the smart phone social media age that's massively damaging to a coaching staff's ability to control the program and build positive consistency. 

It happened here just like I said where one such place puts it out then several others run with it without any direct knowledge and it becomes a storm of shit requiring the head coach to have to put a stop to it. The same thing happened in the Urban Meyer fiasco when that negotiation should never have been made public in the first place. 

Having that many of those sites is a massive problem for your program. 

 

 

VioletInsecureBallpython-size_restricted

30 minutes ago, 9.95-ers suck ass said:

barack obama middle finger GIF

I see nothing wrong with this account

Edited by 35dimes

27 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

yeah. But I mean, apparently that some people forgot. Also, you can't revisit the classics too often.

My new operating theory here is that the 995er guy is Carl, returning in an effort to scuttle the reputations of 995ers and supplant himself as the only true source for player news. Seriously, it's fucking Carl. 

Hot Christ, you’re right. LMFAO. So good. 

21 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

You are 5'6'' but 6'3'' with the ego. 

This was a solid, subtle reference and I dig it. 

Take this misinformation shitpost down off your fucking Twitter, you fucktard.

We all know you’re disappointed you don’t have your “inside” source now.

 

I’m going to assume that Sark really is “that Guy”- as in, “you MF’ers didn’t need Urban Meyer. His thread is buried on page 4. bwahahahahahaha! I own his ass...wait, wut?  870pgs? Really?  Huh. Ok, watch this...’mike stoops’...

Edited by NTVTXN
Spelling is hard

17 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

1.) you said Herman would never be fired this year. Or next, I believe. And you cited funds and money and the Legislature. Defend that, moron.

2) I never said Bellmont didn't try to control narratives...even remotely. As long as we're talking made up bullshit. Please quote where I did. What I said was you're a stupid moron who doesn't know shit about Bellmont. 

The rest of your screed about your personal opinions of whatever the fuck you're attempting to purport are classic Randolph Duke, and as usual about as informative or helpful as Mike Stoops on a defensive football staff. I feel sorry for you. 

What I said regarding the upcoming legislative battles for higher education funding in the legislature is accurate. There will be serious discussions about which school are and are not truly in need. 

On Sept 1, UT athletics instituted salary reductions for about 200 employees out of “financial necessity” (if we take CDC at his word). Yet, while the money isn’t there to pay the staff or keep the lights on, there is limitless money to hire and fire coaches.

And you can’t see where I’m going with this line of thought. 

I’m not sure I’m the one being obtuse here, and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to help you future out your problem. 

It’s despicable that any money was paid to make a coaching change before a very public announcement was made that the Sept 1 financial cuts were reversed. I’m hardly the only one with this opinion. 

Bellmont couldn’t even make its debt payments last year, yet they had millions for a new football coach. 

That’s not a well run program in my opinion.

Edited by Randolph Duke

2 hours ago, OnAComputer said:

inconsolable

I’d pay at least $9.95 for a recording of that. 

rest in peace in peace

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

re: Carl

Hot Christ, you’re right. LMFAO. So good.

for what it's worth, i am pretty sure it isn't him mostly because of the huge difference in their writing, punctuation and grammar styles.

carl has been around long enough to have at least picked up some 9.95ers names and knows EJ has been gone a while. also, as far as i know there is no reason for him specifically to have a beef with @OnAComputer

 

43 minutes ago, texifornia said:

is-this-real-life-gif.gif?w=364

Wanker's posts often belie his claims of who he is, but he's certainly a wanker.

3 minutes ago, Randolph Duke said:

It’s despicable that any money was paid to make a coaching change before a very public announcement was made that the Sept 1 financial cuts were reversed. I’m hardly the only one with this opinion. 

please take that opinion literally anywhere else on the entire internet that isn't here in the Sarkisian coaching staff thread. this is literally the last place on the internet where that discussion would be considered relevant.

Edited by NoName

This board is a lot better if you just put Randolph Duke on ignore.  Seriously, just do it.

I'm slightly perturbed that Surly hasn't broken the LB hire yet.

  • Author
9 minutes ago, cafe society said:

This smells like bullshit culled straight from the ass of Super K.  They haven't been right about much during the coaching search and probably resent CDC utilizing FCB as his preferred leak.

TFB has won this coaching search. 

  • Popular Post
2 minutes ago, Randolph Duke said:

What I said regarding the upcoming legislative battles for higher education funding in the legislature is accurate. There will be serious discussions about which school are and are not truly in need. 

On Sept 1, UT athletics instituted salary reductions for about 200 employees out of “financial necessity” (if we take CDC at his word). Yet, while the money isn’t there to pay the staff or keep the lights on, there is limitless money to hire and fire coaches.

And you can’t see where I’m going with this line of thought. 

I’m not sure I’m the one being obtuse here, and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to help you future out your problem. 

It’s despicable that any money was paid to make a coaching change before a very public announcement was made that the Sept 1 financial cuts were reversed. I’m hardly the only one with this opinion. 

Oh it's you being obtuse. Let me make it real simple for you, dipshit.

Boosters are rich and can do what they want with their money, even in a pandemic. They can buy new cars, new homes new mistresses, and new football coaches. They're not legally or morally obligated to infuse money into athletic programs to save jobs. Like it or not, this is American where capitalism and freedom of choice rule. You and everyone else can have some kind of moral objection to how the world works, that's fine. But the complete lack of understanding of reality and conflating that with your moral outrage is, well, pretty fucking obtuse. I'm not sure I'm going to be about to help you future out the difference, because you're fucking obtuse. 

1 minute ago, GeoffE said:

I'm slightly perturbed that Surly hasn't broken the LB hire yet.

We are all still basking in the relief of who it isn't.

3 minutes ago, NoName said:

for what it's worth, i am pretty sure it isn't him mostly because of the huge difference in their writing, punctuation and grammar styles.

carl has been around long enough to have at least picked up some 9.95ers names and knows EJ has been gone a while. also, as far as i know there is no reason for him specifically to have a beef with @OnAComputer

 

Finkle is Einhorn.

32 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

One other thing you knuckleheads who insist that this was a trial balloon, or that it was a rumor, or not a real thing need to keep in mind:

Burton basically fucking confirmed it this morning as well. No one is better connected to a combination of regents, boosters, and folks inside Bellmont. That's not TFB perhaps getting info directly from Stoops cocaine addled brain. It was a real hire. 

When? Below are his relevant posts this morning after he initially commented on the Alabama report.

image.thumb.png.0df7404d818e730102215243b8fb4171.png

 

 

Just now, SydneyCarton said:

Oh it's you being obtuse. Let me make it real simple for you, dipshit.

Boosters are rich and can do what they want with their money, even in a pandemic. They can buy new cars, new homes new mistresses, and new football coaches. They're not legally or morally obligated to infuse money into athletic programs to save jobs. Like it or not, this is American where capitalism and freedom of choice rule. You and everyone else can have some kind of moral objection to how the world works, that's fine. But the complete lack of understanding of reality and conflating that with your moral outrage is, well, pretty fucking obtuse. I'm not sure I'm going to be about to help you future out the difference, because you're fucking obtuse. 

If you respond to that booger-eater one more time, I hope this entire board revolts in a crowdsourcing effort against you. If you need someone to arbitrarily argue with about bureaucratic nonsense, give me a call and I'll have an analyst read you our employee handbook, word for word. Or the latest Ian Boyd hagiography about Kwiatkowski and his defensive prowess, all 736 pages.

4 minutes ago, GeoffE said:

I'm slightly perturbed that Surly hasn't broken the LB hire yet.

Sounds like Surly literally broke it.

1 minute ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

When? Below are his relevant posts this morning after he initially commented on the Alabama report.

image.thumb.png.0df7404d818e730102215243b8fb4171.png

 

 

So you think him choosing to report the information he got from a "legitimate source" and running with it isn't tacitly saying "I think this is happening?" Enough to report news he knew would be bad? Ok bud. 

Just now, closetojumping said:

If you respond to that booger-eater one more time, I hope this entire board revolts in a crowdsourcing effort against you. If you need someone to arbitrarily argue with about bureaucratic nonsense, give me a call and I'll have an analyst read you our employee handbook, word for word. Or the latest Ian Boyd hagiography about Kwiatkowski and his defensive prowess, all 736 pages.

Fuck you, I'm still pissed that Mike Stoops was a real fucking option. I need this outlet. 

Just now, SydneyCarton said:

So you think him choosing to report the information he got from a "legitimate source" and running with it isn't tacitly saying "I think this is happening?" Enough to report news he knew would be bad? Ok bud. 

He is referring to the Alabama $9.95er you cement head. 

41 minutes ago, RollLeft said:

Don't forget plump...allegedly.

I feel like "plump" is a female adjective. Let's go with portly. I guess we'll all see at the Surly Sprint-off on September 4th.

My .02c on Mike Stoops from experience-

Dude is bipolar AF- Says all the right things, funny, great story teller, and everyone wants to hang around him. But he's also arrogant, short temper, kind of crazy, and just an all around a$$ hole

Old school recruiter, one of the best in the game at negative BS narrative, used car salesman type, but he's really good at it. (does that tactic still work in 2021, who knows?)

As a LB coach, he's good to great. 

At x's and o's, he's good to great.

As a play caller, well.... you know the story there. 

At developing relationships with players- refer back to first line. 

Looks like Mike took down all the likes and RTs from last night. Hopefully that's the the last time I ever have to look up that Barney Rubble fuck.

Just now, UncleSonny said:

Looks like Mike took down all the likes and RTs from last night. Hopefully that's the the last time I ever have to look up that Barney Rubble fuck.

What did Barney Rubble ever do to deserve this comparison? 

 

Just when I thought it was safe to get back into Longhorn football, Sark goes and hires a cockgobbler, and a disgraced one at that?

Mikey could stay in Saban rehab until he retires, still wouldnt wash the Stoops out of him. *facepalm*

  • Popular Post

Sark: we're hiring Lupoi

Compliance dept: no way, he's too risky, he's gonna get us in trouble

Sark: i thought you might say that, good thing i have a backup plan. Gonna pivot to mike st-

Compliance dept: oh fuck you. Here's Lupoi's badge and parking pass.

 

 

That is the fairy tale that i will tell myself to get over this.

Edited by Pam Cummings

Any word if we are going to get a second S&C coach
Zenitz thinks Barry Switzer is a candidate.
49 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Listen, numb nuts, stop posting. Everyone here knows that at best you know jack shit, and at worst you're mentally deranged and unhinged. You still think that the Texas Legislature has to approve of funds for a football coach, and you still had no clue the hall of fame was in the North End Zone and not the south weeks after the construction had completed. You're a fucking buffoon smelling your own farts. You don't know jack shit about the workings of the AD, Bellmont, or a woman's clitoris. 

For God’s sake stop hitting him!!!  He’s dead!!!

Edited by stork642

My .02c on Mike Stoops from experience-
Dude is bipolar AF- Says all the right things, funny, great story teller, and everyone wants to hang around him. But he's also arrogant, short temper, kind of crazy, and just an all around a$$ hole
Old school recruiter, one of the best in the game at negative BS narrative, used car salesman type, but he's really good at it. (does that tactic still work in 2021, who knows?)
As a LB coach, he's good to great. 
At x's and o's, he's good to great.
As a play caller, well.... you know the story there. 
At developing relationships with players- refer back to first line. 
Will he neg recruit against blowU? Thats the question. Once a cockgoblin, always a cockgoblin.
  • Popular Post

What were your favorite moments of the Mike Stoops era at Texas?

20 minutes ago, GeoffE said:

I'm slightly perturbed that Surly hasn't broken the LB hire yet.

We have broken it. Tosh to Texas confirmed. Now lets go eat a goddamn snack!

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