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#5951
On 5/1/2019 at 5:19 PM, shakahorn said:

Working from home one day, same deal, thought I was on mute, went to take a piss.  Except there were only four people on the call and the guy who works with me knew it was me.  No one said a word at the time.  Big huge horse piss complete with flush.

Your name is Frank Drebin isn't it?

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#5952
On 5/2/2019 at 11:42 AM, 52-80 said:

No reason for nasty interior tho

Well pardon my condoms... sorry for partying. Next time I'll tell your mom to take them with her.

#5953
On 5/3/2019 at 10:48 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

A little spit on the fingertips works well here or get some of these......

10263680.jpg

Why you have all of futuremans condoms?

#5954
On 5/4/2019 at 5:56 AM, Dbeasy said:


You need to get over this one because saying “I am well” sounds haute and dainty.

Everyone has been leaving out the proper response....

"What's it to you bitch"?

#5955
....44db19e655a5391488891d8c272245e6.jpg

Jesus Christ. This shit drives me crazy. The dell warranty webpage for servers may give you three or four of these bastards before they pull up your warranty information. Holy shit I just want to see if this server tag number has warranty left or if I need to call a third party repair company. I’m not trying to play fucking match game.
#5956

Bitchass ice cream companies trotting out their 1.43 QT packaging and making playlike it is a half gallon.

 

Step off with that shit you bitchass muthafuckas.

#5957

How bad are you fuckers at golf that you get irritated by people having the gall to read greens and actually try to make their puts? Like at what level of suck does your give a fuck level drop to just walking up giving it a whack?

#5958

Some acronyms said aloud annoy me.

Example: Car commercials that say "mpg highway."  Just say miles per gallon or fuel efficiency or something. I hate when they say mpg.

"SMH" is idiotic. I hate that crap.

#5961
8 hours ago, Longhorn Al said:

Some acronyms said aloud annoy me.

Example: Car commercials that say "mpg highway."  Just say miles per gallon or fuel efficiency or something. I hate when they say mpg.

"SMH" is idiotic. I hate that crap.

They do that to save time during the broadcast.  Same reason they say APR real fast during the financing information.  

People over 15 truncating full words in face to face conversation, now that is totes annoying for realz. 

#5962
26 minutes ago, Lobo said:

They do that to save time during the broadcast.  Same reason they say APR real fast during the financing information.  

People over 15 truncating full words in face to face conversation, now that is totes annoying for realz. 

I'd have to hear the deets on that convo.

  • Author
#5966

People with cars the color of wet concrete driving around in the rain at dusk without their lights on

Edited by elfenix

#5967
9 hours ago, Lobo said:

They do that to save time during the broadcast.  Same reason they say APR real fast during the financing information.  

People over 15 truncating full words in face to face conversation, now that is totes annoying for realz. 

I know why they do it. Still hate it. 

#5969
6 hours ago, happyfunball said:

On airplanes when people get up to let you out but don’t walk any distance away so you have to brush up against them to exit.

I have a friend with big tits. She brushes by people on the plane with her tits just to get a reaction.

#5970
4 hours ago, mycox said:

I have a friend with big tits. She brushes by people on the plane with her tits just to get a reaction.

Pics aren't showing up. 

#5973
On 5/5/2019 at 8:42 AM, Dbeasy said:

Don’t know if this has been mentioned or not, but I see rage every single time when I do a google search for the start time of a sporting event. They never put the time zone of the start time, forcing you to continue searching until you can somehow find that one web site that shows it, or you can triangulate between web sites that seem to cater to the different time zones. Drives me insane.

You don't check the TV listings in your newspaper?

#5977
18 hours ago, happyfunball said:

On airplanes when people get up to let you out but don’t walk any distance away so you have to brush up against them to exit.

 

11 hours ago, mycox said:

I have a friend with big tits. She brushes by people on the plane with her tits just to get a reaction.

which is exactly why i get up to let people out but dont walk any distance away.

#5978

The royal family. Who gives a single solitary fuck about these people, and more incredibly why do people care that they are able to procreate and choose a name for their rugrat, just like the other 7 billion people on earth manage to do. A few more limo crashes wouldnt be the worst thing in the world. 

#5980
On 5/6/2019 at 11:33 PM, BearMace said:

How bad are you fuckers at golf that you get irritated by people having the gall to read greens and actually try to make their puts? Like at what level of suck does your give a fuck level drop to just walking up giving it a whack?

Badass over here. 

Actual, professional golfers routinely get irritated at other pros for taking too long pre-shot or holding up play, and every shot those guys hit is worth potentially thousands of dollars. 

So I think no matter what level you are playing at/with, it's 100% justifiable to get annoyed with someone that acts like they are playing Saturday at the US Open.

It's a game. 

#5981
5 hours ago, Blotto said:

The royal family. Who gives a single solitary fuck about these people, and more incredibly why do people care that they are able to procreate and choose a name for their rugrat, just like the other 7 billion people on earth manage to do. A few more limo crashes wouldnt be the worst thing in the world. 

I especially like the accompanying graphics that imply Prince Charles sired Harry. Giggity

#5982
Badass over here. 
Actual, professional golfers routinely get irritated at other pros for taking too long pre-shot or holding up play, and every shot those guys hit is worth potentially thousands of dollars. 
So I think no matter what level you are playing at/with, it's 100% justifiable to get annoyed with someone that acts like they are playing Saturday at the US Open.
It's a game. 

Yeah, and it’s part of the game as well. I like to get the “Well, we’re waiting” from my partner, that tells me everything I need to know.

Now, if you can’t/don’t keep up with the group in front of you.....rage on my friend.
#5984
Being told I'm not "living in the moment"?  While I'm fucking driving.
Youre a shitty free spirit if you're just going to sit behind a steering wheel for the rest of your life
#5985

On my flight just now


Attendant: we need 1 volunteer from rows 4-7 to move to the back for weight balance.


She asked this 4 or 5 times saying the flight isnt moving until someone moves

Finally the pilot had to get on and say it. 1 dude finally got up and received a brooklyn cheer. Hate people.


Fyi I was row 11

#5988
44 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

If it's a worse seat, I ain't moving.  They'll have to bring cops on and beat my ass.  

why? the difference in seats on a plan is fucking marginal. flying kind of sucks no matter what, so put on your headphones and/or eye pillow mask and try to sleep until you land.

#5989

Uh no, it's not marginal at all.  Maybe for the manlets.  Any of us over six feet fucking tall and flying is miserable.  I'm not getting stuck in a middle seat for four hours to JFK.  Or god forbid on an international flight.

#5990
2 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

Uh no, it's not marginal at all.  Maybe for the manlets.  Any of us over six feet fucking tall and flying is miserable.  I'm not getting stuck in a middle seat for four hours to JFK.  Or god forbid on an international flight.

6'2" and not a whiny bitch checking in. suck it up.

#5991
12 minutes ago, Llogg said:

why? the difference in seats on a plan is fucking marginal. flying kind of sucks no matter what, so put on your headphones and/or eye pillow mask and try to sleep until you land.

This is incorrect.

If it were true, move the cows from first class to the back.  See how it goes.

 

No fucking way am i volunteering to sit in a middle seat.  6'2, 240#, I pick the aisle any time I have a choice and the middle is NEVER if I have a choice.

#5992
14 minutes ago, Llogg said:

why? the difference in seats on a plan is fucking marginal. flying kind of sucks no matter what, so put on your headphones and/or eye pillow mask and try to sleep until you land.

Our man is trying to get paid and I don't blame him.  I'll let the cops whoop my ass for a couple of million bucks.

 

1 hour ago, PilotsError said:

They'll have to bring cops on and beat my ass.  

 

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#5993
That Steve Carell/ Lil John / Cardi B Pepsi ad. I want to punch them all.
You could have just said, "Pepsi"
#5994

Tortillas that come in a bag with the zip lock opening on the bottom. Lots of tortillas have ended up on our kitchen floor as a result.

I know, I know, we should buy brands that don’t do this, but somehow we end up with them. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

#5996
If it's a worse seat, I ain't moving.  They'll have to bring cops on and beat my ass.  

It was an Express jet...one side had 1 seat and the other had 2. There wasn't a good seat in the house rather than having to get off the plane ASAP which I doubt none had to do

 

 

And it was an hr flight from Louisville to Ohare

#5997
21 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

That Steve Carell/ Lil John / Cardi B Pepsi ad. I want to punch them all.

You could've just said Cardi B and left it at that. She's the worst. 

#5998
2 hours ago, slorch said:

This is incorrect.

If it were true, move the cows from first class to the back.  See how it goes.

 

No fucking way am i volunteering to sit in a middle seat.  6'2, 240#, I pick the aisle any time I have a choice and the middle is NEVER if I have a choice.

This is correct. I'm 6'2 235 lbs with broad shoulders. Aisle seat only for me. I can't fit in the middle or window seats. 

#5999
1 minute ago, lateshow said:

This is correct. I'm 6'2 235 lbs with broad shoulders. Aisle seat only for me. I can't fit in the middle or window seats. 

Same. 6'2, 235 and my knees can't take the window seat. 

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