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#6151
10 minutes ago, Llogg said:

@slorch you ever think that maybe those people are just politely telling you they wish you had died?

It's understood...

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#6155

And in memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice, let’s get hammered on Keystone Lights and and try to Darwin ourselves on jet skis in a muddy man made lake with other drunk rednecks. The disconnect of what it is and is supposed to be bothers me.

#6156
18 minutes ago, 'stache said:

And in memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice, let’s get hammered on Keystone Lights and and try to Darwin ourselves on jet skis in a muddy man made lake with other drunk rednecks. The disconnect of what it is and is supposed to be bothers me.

St. Patrick was mostly notable as an anti-slavery crusader (the very first in Western history), but his day is celebrated with drunken riots and polluted rivers. Misappropriating holidays for the purposes of debauchery has a long and storied tradition.

#6157
On 5/24/2019 at 6:36 PM, ernest_t_bass said:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. There is nothing on planet earth as annoying as a teenage (middle school age) girl.  If I hear "Yeet!" or "Rip!" or "Legit!" one more time... 

you should date women your own age

#6158
On 5/22/2019 at 9:10 AM, elfenix said:

when you type something on the numeric keypad and afterward realize num lock was off. 

related: why is there a CAPS LOCK key? it seems the only purpose it serves is to make me type a password in ALL CAPS so I can fuck my login up at least once

#6159
1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

related: why is there a CAPS LOCK key? it seems the only purpose it serves is to make me type a password in ALL CAPS so I can fuck my login up at least once

<------

The dumb question amnesty thread is that way. 

#6165
15 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
On 5/27/2019 at 8:09 AM, Texaskimo said:
What's special about a king mattress in the fitted sheet game?

Cheeseweasel refuses to walk more than he has to

napoleon dynamite your mom goes to college GIF

#6166
12 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

related: why is there a CAPS LOCK key? it seems the only purpose it serves is to make me type a password in ALL CAPS so I can fuck my login up at least once

There's a guy in my dept that has to have his caps lock on most of the time for the work he does (not his fault), but whenever I message him I'm always like "damn asshole no need to yell" in my head when he messages back before I remember. 

#6168
12 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

When a light turns red with no incoming cross traffic in sight.

Tyler Texas, where I do my work day driving, leads the world in red light right-of-way granted to nonexistent drivers at the newest intersections with the newest equipment on the poles.

#6169
16 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Every time that @Kyrie Eleison posts, I get that stupid goddamn Mr. Mister song stuck in my head. 

 

wait...

 

That's like saying every time you see Eli Manning, you hate the Eagles.

 

Works for me...

#6170
2 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

When a light turns red with no incoming cross traffic in sight.

I hit this every morning, same light for off ramp traffic but there isnt anybody on the off ramp

Edited by MNLonghornFUKM

#6172

I have a health screening on Friday morning.  So I am on no alcohol, no sugar, no dairy and basically healthy for the week so I can pass.  I am very surly.  Come Friday though I am going to be a big case of fuck it all.

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#6173
I have a health screening on Friday morning.  So I am on no alcohol, no sugar, no dairy and basically healthy for the week so I can pass.  I am very surly.  Come Friday though I am going to be a big case of fuck it all.
3 hot dogs 2 taquitos and 1 nachos with extra chili, cheese, and jalapenos from a gas station?
#6177
On 5/22/2019 at 6:44 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The fact that one of these ATMs is 1.5" lower than all the rest.

I walk past that sumbitch twice a day and it's fucking infuriating. 4ef6c8e790cc489266e46f87be34fcb1.jpg

First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.

#6178
3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

If there's a red light with no traffic and no camera.... just go.

Texas still do the flashing lights during non-peak traffic hours?  Wish they’d do that up here in Upstate NY.  Hated having to stop 5am for a light and no other traffic in sight. 

#6179
2 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.

perfectly summarizes my whole life.

 

All because some asshole doing grading, electrical rough in, column layout.......doesn't give one shit about what comes next.  

 

Also, the architect and engineer have probably issued conflicting documents in regards to the above.

#6182

Shower heads that are knee high to a hobbit.

 

Hey motherfuckers, my bellybutton ain't THAT fucking dirty.

We're staying at a very nice resort for a company meeting.  Everything is very nice...but wholly fok why?  Why so fucking short?

#6183
On 5/14/2019 at 5:48 PM, ztejas said:

I work in an office with all women (for another couple months at least). 

Sometimes I get the question, "What's it like being the only guy?"

Today I come back from lunch to a cupcake tray that a client has gifted us:

20190514-140802.jpg

You must not work in the public sector because you would have to fight the heifers here to even smell that spread.

These whales are so huge that two of them walking side by side will block entire hallways.

#6184
First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.
You've got a good eye for the problems. So good that I suspect you may have been involved with the construction itself.

Here's a standard 3"x3" Post-It Note for scale. Your estimate is much closer - looks like about 4".

And now I'm probably on some sort of Citibank/Treasury Department watch list after having taken multiple pictures of this same bank of ATMs. 55793d9fa9831a8c6f436acc7181f058.jpg7fb69d676043cfcfd7eb4c33a7e3cbdc.jpg
#6188
11 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Some bow tie wearing dickhead is responsible for wonky ATM placement.

What you did there.  It has been seen.

loftin1.jpg

Edited by Buffsoldier

#6189

it's like the Monopoly man molested himself as a child and grew up again and became president of a mid-tiered public university.  

#6190
6 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

What you did there.  It has been seen.

loftin1.jpg

When he gets excited, I bet the tie spins. "What? You wrecked my car??" WHIRRRRRR!!!!!!

#6191

Passed my health screening this morning.  Going to light up a Cuban and have some Scotch for breakfast to celebrate.  Then work on some architectural layouts for Citibank.

#6193

No I posted earlier that I was surly that I had to cut out all the good things in life for a bit to pass a health screen.  I am back on my vices now and less surly.

#6194
9 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

No I posted earlier that I was surly that I had to cut out all the good things in life for a bit to pass a health screen.  I am back on my vices now and less surly.

happy hour drinking GIF

#6195

Trying to open Whataburger straws.  It seems that banging one end of the straw on the table no longer causes the other side to break through.  Now I have to lick my finger to get a good grip on the tip pf the paper to tear it and remove it with my hands.  

#6199
5 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Passed my health screening this morning.  Going to light up a Cuban and have some Scotch for breakfast to celebrate.  Then work on some architectural layouts for Citibank.

Architectural layouts for a Citibank?  Sounds like an artist's dream ;)

#6200
8 hours ago, Lobo said:

Architectural layouts for a Citibank?  Sounds like an artist's dream ;)

Just keep those blueprints away from Slippin Jimmy.

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