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#6751
17 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

or a Viking

The pillaging? Sure.... but the raping?

It's never work if it's something you love.

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#6752
The pillaging? Sure.... but the raping?
It's never work if it's something you love.

Those are French benefits, fruits of your labor and stuff. Because you know, one has to pillage in order to get to rape.
#6753
8 minutes ago, General Specific said:


Those are French benefits, fruits of your labor and stuff. Because you know, one has to pillage in order to get to rape.

 

#6754
On 7/17/2019 at 1:57 PM, El Diablo said:

Indian Chief has got to be just brutal. Pow-wows, squaws, setting up and tearing down teepees. Not to mention the white men and their ways. Sheesh.

The easy access to fire-water really soothes those jangled nerves.

#6755

People who litter are horrible human beings.  I hope that all of their personal electronics break, their gas mileage sucks, their tires wear unevenly, and they or their significant other get permanent erectile dysfunction.  

#6756
4 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

People who litter are horrible human beings.  I hope that all of their personal electronics break, their gas mileage sucks, their tires wear unevenly, and they or their significant other get permanent erectile dysfunction.  

This goes for everyone who leaves their trash at their seats after concerts and sporting events.

#6757
On 7/15/2019 at 8:38 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

Heh heh. When we got our first Tahoe, it had Onstar. The kids accidentally locked the doors with the keys inside at the wifes grandmothers house (in her late 80's at the time).

We called Onstar to get them to unlock it. We explained they were sending a signal to a satellite to open the doors remotely.   She was freaking out that we were calling a satellite to come over her house, and that it might crash thru her roof.

That reminds me of that Dave Matthews song.  I think it went “Satellite, fell thru the skylight, whooahooo.”

#6758

I think all late 90s Tahoes came with either a pat green or Dave Matthews sticker on the back window.  Direct from factory.  

#6759
This goes for everyone who leaves their trash at their seats after concerts and sporting events.
And movie theaters.
#6760

No, you charge me seven dollars for a fucking Coke, it's staying in the cup holder when the movie is over.  Theaters can go fuck themselves on the prices.

#6764
10 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

This goes for everyone who leaves their trash at their seats after concerts and sporting events.

I think logistically it's just easier on event staff to use firehoses and wash it all into one spot and then use a front end loader to dispose of it. Plus they're washing down the steps and seats as they go. The sheer volume of the trash at such an event would overwhelm small trash cans leading to a larger mess that would still need to be transported most likely by hand  to a final collection point.

#6768

When food is brought for everyone at the office and nobody covers it up when they're done getting food. It pisses me off to no end. Fucking flies or bugs can get on it or some asshat could sneeze or cough. Just cover it damn it!!!

#6769
3 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Conversely, they don't know shit about it.

Non-Nerds covering nerd shit is like Surly members covering a Miss America pagent.

Sure, we will bicker and discuss, but the content isn't very valuable.

"Look at those RATs my friend."

"Indeed Bob, those are some outstanding bolt ons, but have you seen her knees. Bob, her knees, they are horrifying."

"Maybe Chad, maybe, but that ass!"

"Christ, she is fucking fat!"

Sounds like a pretty solid analysis right there.  I think you need to rethink the whole Surly Miss America thing.

#6770
55 minutes ago, Jersey Man10 said:

When food is brought for everyone at the office and nobody covers it up when they're done getting food. It pisses me off to no end. Fucking flies or bugs can get on it 

do you work in a barn?

#6771
26 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Sounds like a pretty solid analysis right there.  I think you need to rethink the whole Surly Miss America thing.

How about a Miss Surly pageant? Jade v. Fitlump v. That preacher guy who pretended to be a slutty girl. 

  • Author
#6772

When some asshole with a leaf blower blows dirt and crushed leaves all over your just-washed car.

#6773
51 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Jesus fucking Christ, would I be required to participate?

Because you just listed the entire string of Surly women that would participate.

Jade is attractive, but I can't stand the thought of Fit lumps speech alone.

Why don't we just crown Jade and call it a day.

What if Jades talent is chili making? That would be a big deduction.

#6775

When you go through the drive through kfc in Marshall, Texas and get some chicken that may be the best kfc in America.  I mean it was perfect.  Then, when you’re thinking “I’m going to post on surly about how great the Marshall kfc is, this news must be shared,” you realize that they shortdicked you out of your biscuit, and you’re halfway to Carthage.  

You gonna drive back to Marshall for a biscuit?  Nope, just soak in your misery, sans biscuit.

Dammit.

 

 

 

 

#6776
16 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

This goes for everyone who leaves their trash at their seats after concerts and sporting events.

There's a difference between just throwing trash out the window on some random stretch of road and leaving trash in an area that is designated for cleanup by people getting paid to clean it up.

Leaving your trash at your concert seat or movie theater seat or wherever just makes you a normal dick. Going out of your way to litter makes you a fucking asshole. 

#6779
How about a Miss Surly pageant?


I did that 10 years ago. mdmost is the only one who still posts with any regularity.
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#6780
48 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Plus, sometimes you see kids and poors scooping up all the souvenir cups to take home. 

@DougOyou're wanted on Line 1. :) 

#6783

Mdmost is a woman?

#6785

FuZZY WUzzy?

 

#6786
1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

You say this, but clearly didn't know mini-baller, Trumpet, nor Rhinowoman.

Trust me, we are way better off without them.

And I haven't even been laid in a while so my thirst is real.

Was she the racist Asian? If so I was around for a bit of her nastiness.

#6787
When you go through the drive through kfc in Marshall, Texas and get some chicken that may be the best kfc in America.  I mean it was perfect.  Then, when you’re thinking “I’m going to post on surly about how great the Marshall kfc is, this news must be shared,” you realize that they shortdicked you out of your biscuit, and you’re halfway to Carthage.  
You gonna drive back to Marshall for a biscuit?  Nope, just soak in your misery, sans biscuit.
Dammit.
 
 
 
 

Serves you right for passing by Riverport BBQ in Jefferson and not getting a rack of ribs to go.
#6788
People who don't take in their trash/recycle containers at the end of pick up day.   There are ~ 15% of my neighbors who let them stay out for an extra day or so.  JFC, how lazy can you get?

Well
I work till 11 pm. You want me causing a ruckus putting it away at midnight or mind your own fucking business and I’ll put it away in the next day or so.
  • Author
#6789
Plus, sometimes you see kids and poors scooping up all the souvenir cups to take home. 

Couple years ago I grabbed about 60 Chick-fil-A free breakfast cards at the cotton bowl

 

#6790

A couple hundred years of development of petrolium based combustion engines and they still haven't come up with a better version of the dipstick for checking actual physical fluid levels. I hate dipsticks, especially for clearish stuff like tranny fluid. I still can't read that shit.

#6791
When you go through the drive through kfc in Marshall, Texas and get some chicken that may be the best kfc in America.  I mean it was perfect.  Then, when you’re thinking “I’m going to post on surly about how great the Marshall kfc is, this news must be shared,” you realize that they shortdicked you out of your biscuit, and you’re halfway to Carthage.  
You gonna drive back to Marshall for a biscuit?  Nope, just soak in your misery, sans biscuit.
Dammit.
 
 
 
 
#6793
2 hours ago, 'stache said:

Was she the racist Asian? If so I was around for a bit of her nastiness.

I thought she was a redhead from South Africa. Though I'm probably confusing one xenophobe for another -- they all look alike to me.

#6794
2 hours ago, EE2B said:


Serves you right for passing by Riverport BBQ in Jefferson and not getting a rack of ribs to go.

The correct order at river port is the bbq fries and a bologna sandwich.

 

#6796

How does every Taco Bell in the world manage to fuck up your order like 70% of the time?  Is it in their corporate training to leave shit out of your bag?

#6797
7 hours ago, DougO said:

A couple hundred years of development of petrolium based combustion engines and they still haven't come up with a better version of the dipstick for checking actual physical fluid levels. I hate dipsticks, especially for clearish stuff like tranny fluid. I still can't read that shit.

Talk about a floater right over the plate.....

#6798
9 hours ago, elfenix said:

Couple years ago I grabbed about 60 Chick-fil-A free breakfast cards at the cotton bowl

 

#winning

  • Author
#6799
7 hours ago, 52-80 said:

How does every Taco Bell in the world manage to fuck up your order like 70% of the time?  Is it in their corporate training to leave shit out of your bag?

no idea how they confused a doritos taco for a chicken roll with mayo sauce last night, but they did.  that roll was fucking disgusting.

#6800
Also, if a website doesn't let you print a page, can't you just use the snipping tool, and save the image? Granted it's a picture of what you want, but it should work.


Snipping tool? What is that?

Oh, you mean the scissors?

Yes, mom.

Well I that was for cutting stuff.

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