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#7851
4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or she was expecting a delivery from Amazon and didn't realize it wasn't her order until she opened the box. That's happened to me before. 

It was a pair of pillows that were vacuum sealed so that they were smooshed enough to fit into the box.  She not only opened the box, but she opened the vacuum sealed plastic on one of the pillows so it expanded and wouldn't fit back into the box. 

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    Scheiss Meister

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    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#7852
5 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

It was a pair of pillows that were vacuum sealed so that they were smooshed enough to fit into the box.  She not only opened the box, but she opened the vacuum sealed plastic on one of the pillows so it expanded and wouldn't fit back into the box. 

Okay, that's weird. 

#7853
17 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

It was a pair of pillows that were vacuum sealed so that they were smooshed enough to fit into the box.  She not only opened the box, but she opened the vacuum sealed plastic on one of the pillows so it expanded and wouldn't fit back into the box. 

Probably rubbed her butt all over the pillow too. 

#7856
On 10/29/2019 at 8:17 AM, Lat22 said:

The Qtip to wastebasket shot every morning.  I know I'm under 50% even though it's basically a layup.

Put your wastebasket right up against the wall.  Bank shots are much easier!

#7857
4 hours ago, ruitxn said:

Put your wastebasket right up against the wall.  Bank shots are much easier!

Backboards ??!  How quaintly, old school.

#7858
11 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

It was a pair of pillows that were vacuum sealed so that they were smooshed enough to fit into the box.  She not only opened the box, but she opened the vacuum sealed plastic on one of the pillows so it expanded and wouldn't fit back into the box. 

She definitely wiped her ass with your pillows. Enjoy the pink eye. 

#7859
13 hours ago, TornACL said:

She definitely wiped her ass with your pillows. Enjoy the pink  stink eye. 

Fixed it.

#7861

Co-workers who schedule virtual meetings and don't provide dial in or WebEx instructions....

People on the East coast that schedule meetings at 1pm ET.  I love declining them.....

#7862
1 hour ago, gecko said:

 

People on the East coast that schedule meetings at 1pm ET.  I love declining them.....

Why do you hate your superiors so much ?

#7864

Before I was considered borderline Type 2 diabetes no fucking restaurant anywhere ever pushed me to buy their cookies.  Now every damn place I go tries to up sell them to me.  Hell, Barnes & Noble even tried to get me to buy cookies the last time I was there. 

#7865
3 minutes ago, EMAWesome said:

Before I was considered borderline Type 2 diabetes no fucking restaurant anywhere ever pushed me to buy their cookies.  Now every damn place I go tries to up sell them to me.  Hell, Barnes & Noble even tried to get me to buy cookies the last time I was there. 

God damn, the pusher man.......

#7866
On 10/31/2019 at 9:58 AM, gecko said:

Co-workers who schedule virtual meetings and don't provide dial in or WebEx instructions....

People on the East coast that schedule meetings at 1pm ET.  I love declining them.....

Fuck faces who schedule meetings at 4pm on Fridays. Such a douchebag transparent power play. Anyone who does this is a narcissistic cunt, and needs to be burned alive.

#7868
8 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Fuck faces who schedule meetings at 4pm on Fridays. Such a douchebag transparent power play. Anyone who does this is a narcissistic cunt, and needs to be burned alive.

You’re not fooling anyone, back in my FF days we called that shift change. 

#7869
7 hours ago, EMAWesome said:

Before I was considered borderline Type 2 diabetes no fucking restaurant anywhere ever pushed me to buy their cookies.  Now every damn place I go tries to up sell them to me.  Hell, Barnes & Noble even tried to get me to buy cookies the last time I was there. 

 

7 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

God damn, the pusher man.......

C2P7jxvUQAIlV9a.jpg

#7872

When there is about a mile of space behind me, and 1 car length in front -> don't expect me to slow down and let you over.  Get the fuck behind.  what makes it bad is it is ALWAYS the cunts in a Prius, or Kia Sol, or Mini Cooper, or some other tiny fucking thing.  It's like they want to prove they will fit in a small space instead of just going with the flow.  /rant

#7873

I have a friend that always calls people "bud" in his texts.  I fucking loathe when people call me bud.  I think it is condescending as fuck.  Insert south park meme.

#7874
1 minute ago, ernest_t_bass said:

I have a friend that always calls people "bud" in his texts.  I fucking loathe when people call me bud.  I think it is condescending as fuck.  Insert south park meme.

Lighten up, pardner / chief / bruh / bro / brah / cuz / sizzlechest / nitz / pal. 

#7875
2 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Lighten up, pardner / chief / bruh / bro / brah / cuz / sizzlechest / nitz / pal. 

The judges would have accepted Francis as well.

#7877
10 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Too easy

The classics never go out of style Pal/ bud/ friend-o /sport/      maxi zoom dweeb (not in general use at the time).

#7878

The size of the opening on the Lays dips.  Why the fuck wouldn’t they make those things wider so you can dip into them when they’re more than about a third empty without getting it all over your damn hands?  Pisses me off.

#7879
4 hours ago, Landomatic said:

The size of the opening on the Lays dips.  Why the fuck wouldn’t they make those things wider so you can dip into them when they’re more than about a third empty without getting it all over your damn hands?  Pisses me off.

Peanut butter jars. 

Should totally be in a container like margarine or sandwich meats (wide, with the top open), but our nostalgia for mamaw's preserves means that we get a jar and copious amounts of pb on our hands when we try to get the stuff from the bottom third. 

(or, at least the wimmins do when they make sammiches) 

#7880

Non-ISO paper sizes.  i.e. the 'letter' and 'legal' 8.5x11 and 8.5x14" bullshit.  Doesnt conform with logical standards.  Always have margin issues when printing. 

 

Get with the times man

#7881
3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Non-ISO paper sizes.  i.e. the 'letter' and 'legal' 8.5x11 and 8.5x14" bullshit.  Doesnt conform with logical standards.  Always have margin issues when printing. 

Get with the times man

Who still prints?

Get with the times man

#7883
Who still prints?
Get with the times man

All you mother fuckers need to print everything! Also, fuck that email receipt option. You need to have them print that bitch two or three times. I need twenty more years in this fucking place and then you can stop.
#7884
6 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Non-ISO paper sizes.  i.e. the 'letter' and 'legal' 8.5x11 and 8.5x14" bullshit.  Doesnt conform with logical standards.  Always have margin issues when printing. 

 

Get with the times man

Are you saying fuck the standard American paper sizes dubbed "letter" and "legal"? If so, I'm on board. A4 4eva

#7885
3 hours ago, Landomatic said:

Who still prints?

Get with the times man

i print all the emails where people beg to "think before printing"

#7887
4 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

A4 paper is some kind of a commie euro trash plot to undermine American society.

This  ^^^. you commie loving, hippy, bastards !!  A4 schmay 4.  It's legal, and letter.... and this (#) is not a hash tag it's a pound sign ... God dammit !!!!!!

Now get the fuck off my yard  !!! (fuck that lawn shit ).

Edited by Onboard 2.0

#7888
On 11/2/2019 at 7:00 PM, Thetexashammer said:

Use a COCKTAIL STICK!!!!

I thought the whole time he was saying "cocktail STAKE"  

#7893
21 hours ago, Landomatic said:

The size of the opening on the Lays dips.  Why the fuck wouldn’t they make those things wider so you can dip into them when they’re more than about a third empty without getting it all over your damn hands?  Pisses me off.

Mother fucking this.

 

I've got to the point that I just pour it into a Tupperware container whenever we get that stuff

#7895
On 11/4/2019 at 9:27 AM, EE2B said:


All you mother fuckers need to print everything! Also, fuck that email receipt option. You need to have them print that bitch two or three times. I need twenty more years in this fucking place and then you can stop.

il_570xN.1555199875_6iiq.jpg

Found your ID badge. 

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#7896

people who send you an email saying to call them but don't provide their phone number in said email

#7897
people who send you an email saying to call them but don't provide their phone number in said email

This right here. Every email should include the sender’s phone number (office and cell) in a signature line.
#7898
56 minutes ago, HouTex said:


This right here. Every email should include the sender’s phone number (office and cell) in a signature line.

With a quote from an obscure philosopher. 

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#7899
24 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

With a quote from an obscure philosopher. 

i've never needed to go dig through my files to find a quote from an obscure philosopher. 

#7900

People who use about 10’ of the turn lane, absolutely eliminating any utility whatsoever in said lane’s very construction... and straight fucking people over behind them.

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