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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#8802
31 minutes ago, nnm said:

When I started working for a European-based company I quickly came to see the advantage of using 24-hour time. So much easier. 
As well as using the “9 March 2020” convention. There’s a reason the military has adopted it. It’s much much easier. 

this is also fucking stupid.  it's like putting the ones in front of the thousands. 

YYYY.MM.DD forever!

#8803

The worst thing about the time change is dumbasses thinking that they need to regale everyone in the office about the entirely predictable manner in which they were confused this morning. 

#8804
7 hours ago, Lobo said:

To be fair, it's not really military time, it's just the timekeeping system that 175+ countries use around the world, each and everyday.  Because it makes infinitely more sense.  Like the metric sense?  

How many days in a year, kids?  365.  Mark them so.  

How many days in a week, kids?  7.  Mark them so.

How many second in a minute, kids?  60.  Mark them so.

How many minutes in an hour, kids?  60.  Mark them so.

How many hour in a day, kids?  24.  Right.  But count the first 6 while you're asleep as AM even though it's "night."  Count the next 6 as while you're awake.  Then count the next 6 as PM for no reason, just to confuse the terms midnight and noon, AM and PM.  And then finally, have some peace within the last 6 hours as we move into PM despite 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 awkwardly repeating themselves in front of you for no reason.  AM/PM is beyond worthless.  

You sound like one of them metric lovers. 

whats-the-best-ron-swanson-quote-2-30459

#8805
9 hours ago, RPM said:

You sound like one of them metric lovers. 

whats-the-best-ron-swanson-quote-2-30459

Like a US Marine? Or Navy Seal? Or Green Beret?  Or Delta Force? Yeah, those guys are sissies. 

#8806
12 hours ago, RPM said:

You sound like one of them metric lovers. 

whats-the-best-ron-swanson-quote-2-30459

There are two kinds of countries in the world. Those who've put a man on  the moon, and those who use the metric system..... Always thought that was hilarious, but suspect it's not entirely true.

It's definitely not true as NASA is using the metric system now.

Edited by Onboard 2.0

  • Author
#8807
2 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

There are two four kinds of countries in the world. Those who've been to the moon,  those who use the metric system, and myanmar. and liberia.

 

ftfy

#8808
On 5/3/2018 at 2:23 PM, Reagan1k said:

I watched two women go from being perfect strangers to best friends to mortal enemies in 4 1/2 minutes over that stick.  They started gabbing and comparing instabook photos without paying attention to the cashier.  Both carts full of groceries were rung up, combined in bags, and carted before they realized it and when the cashier asked for the money they went from 0 to 11 on each other; blaming the other for not using the stick.  Almost came to blows and the manager had to come over and threaten to call the law if they didn't cool it.

I got to go to a newly opened lane and watch while they sorted all that shit out with the manager staying between them to prevent a fight.

Sometimes its fun to stand back and watch the world burn.

 

Haha. It clearly is the job of the person in front to put the divider behind their shit.

I sometimes intentionally don't put it down just to witness the chaos that ensues in front of me. 

#8810
19 hours ago, nnm said:

When I started working for a European-based company I quickly came to see the advantage of using 24-hour time. So much easier. 
As well as using the “9 March 2020” convention. There’s a reason the military has adopted it. It’s much much easier. 

We also used Zulu time in the military. When you're steaming east to west, west to east, constantly going back and forth and dogging the watch every time you turn around it gets a bit old. Why even bother keeping time?

#8811

So you know when to have a cigarette?  

I remember right after my father (PO-3, U.S.S. Liddle) died, I remembered his story about how he was in charge of bunk clocks on the Frigate as it made way from Morocco to the Cuba blockade.  Nobody cared about the timezones en route except for when they could step to deck for their Player's Navy Cut cigarette while the smoking light was on.  The cigarettes were especially cut to be smoked a little faster because of the lights on the beams.  Anyway, after he dies, my wife and I head out to Fredericksburg to hike the Rock and drink wine.  We duck into a little shop, and there's a 50 year old tin of Player's Navy Cut (no cigs, obviously).  I immediately buy it and the clerk tells me, "Wonderful antique, no idea what Navy cut means."  Neither did I, I tell her.  /csb.  

#8813
21 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

There are two kinds of countries in the world. Those who've put a man on  the moon, and those who use the metric system..... Always thought that was hilarious, but suspect it's not entirely true.

It's definitely not true as NASA is using the metric system now.

Corporate speak for when people should use the word 'STANDARDS" and they insert 'metrics.'   WTF is wrong with you people?  Standards are the expectations and measurements of achievement.  Metrics are just old crescent wrenches.

#8815
1 hour ago, HOOKEM4 said:

The number of people driving around every morning with their hi-beams on makes me ragey.

And many newer cars have stock headlights that are way too goddamn bright. But of course NHTSA won't approve the adaptive headlights used elsewhere in the developed world. 

#8816

We get lights flashed at us from drivers thinking we have our brights on, I rarely use them so I keep my hands on lever to flash back.  

#8817

That reminds me, people with small penises (peni?) driving jacked up trucks that don't adjust their headlights with the result that their headlights are always shining right in the eyes of all of us people with normal to huge penises (peni?)

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

#8818

I hate how the local Amazon packages power tools like cable TV packages.

It's all completely fucking random.  This drill comes with 2 large batteries and a slow chargers. That driver comes with 1 small battery and a case.  The hammer drill comes with no battery with 3 boxes of drill bits and accessories.  Etc.

 

If you build a system up -- which you obviously have to since the battery keeps you captive -- through these packages then you end up with a bunch of surplus accessories.  Like QVC channel and A&E.

 

If you buy things piece-wise, which is the logical way to do it, the prices are insane.

#8820

Radiant Air Conditioning commercials running between 5:00 and 6:00 pm that show a man flushing a toilet over and over is really appealing while I'm preparing my dinner. Nice awareness, advertising agency morons.

#8821

People of low IQ, with reading difficulty, and no sense of humor, playing Evil Apples. Jesus, people, I'm trying to chill. I don't mind losing, provided the obviously funniest card in a hand gets the vote, but when a moron judge takes the full 60 seconds and then picks the dumbest card, well, that's not exactly stress relieving.

#8822
On 3/12/2020 at 5:11 PM, Dbeasy said:

Radiant Air Conditioning commercials running between 5:00 and 6:00 pm that show a man flushing a toilet over and over is really appealing while I'm preparing my dinner. Nice awareness, advertising agency morons.

 

 

#8824
15 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Hotels are getting rid of the travel size shampoo and soap. They’re being replaced by full size bottles that we all use.  Feels very unsanitary 

 Eeeeeeeeeeerwwwwwwwwww

#8825
On 3/11/2020 at 5:04 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

That reminds me, people with small penises (peni?) driving jacked up trucks 

have some sympathy, if you were walking around with multiple small penises growing out of your body, you probably wouldn't be very well adjusted either

#8826
17 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Hotels are getting rid of the travel size shampoo and soap. They’re being replaced by full size bottles that we all use.  Feels very unsanitary 

that will never last, people will send down for a replacement bottle and then raise holy hell if the answer is "no"

#8830
5 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Hotels are getting rid of the travel size shampoo and soap. They’re being replaced by full size bottles that we all use.  Feels very unsanitary 

Some  have the aggy special "conditioner."

#8831
2 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

James Corden isn't funny and just irritates the shit out of me

There's something about him that reminds me of a trained seal or whatever. Like he's just learned how to perform a trick but doesn't truly understand what he is doing. 

Also, he has a poorly concealed and obviously high need for the approval of others.

#8832
14 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Hotels are getting rid of the travel size shampoo and soap. They’re being replaced by full size bottles that we all use.  Feels very unsanitary 

I actually prefer the full size with pump top, I always felt the little travel size packages were a huge waste of resources.

#8833
15 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Like he's just learned how to perform a trick but doesn't truly understand what he is doing. 

That's a great way of putting it-- his humor doesn't feel genuine to me, it feels like a really obvious schtick and the "really obvious schtick" is itself part of the joke. 

#8835
20 hours ago, PilotsError said:

Hotels that don't issue refunds for cancellations.  Go fuck yourselves.  

When you have one that is keeping your deposit (half of the projected cost) for a Bar Mitzvah party that has to be canceled because of Covid19, get back to me.

Although I guess this should be in the Non-Trivial things topic.

#8836
1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

man I'm glad I know what every retailer who ever got my email address is doing to address Coronavirus

I sweatergawd I am about to lose my shit over banal updates on Coronavirus and Company XYZ.

 

Retailers, Websites, Vendors, Customers, Youth Leagues, Coaches, School District, Individual Teachers, ......  FUCK!!!!

I get it already.  

#8837
6 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

I sweatergawd I am about to lose my shit over banal updates on Coronavirus and Company XYZ.

 

Retailers, Websites, Vendors, Customers, Youth Leagues, Coaches, School District, Individual Teachers, ......  FUCK!!!!

I get it already.  

I think that we should all answer those email.  Something like, "Thank you for your efforts in this time of national need.  It frees me up to attempt a new world record for number of ejaculations in one day.  Oh, and thank your wife (daughter, mom, girlfriend) for her assistance."

#8838
5 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I think that we should all answer those email.  Something like, "Thank you for your efforts in this time of national need.  It frees me up to attempt a new world record for number of ejaculations in one day.  Oh, and thank your wife (daughter, mom, girlfriend) for her assistance."

I guess I should be thankful I haven't gotten one with a open send list and the customary Reply All "Thank You" fuckery.

#8839
3 hours ago, Incredulity said:

I sweatergawd I am about to lose my shit over banal updates on Coronavirus and Company XYZ.

 

Retailers, Websites, Vendors, Customers, Youth Leagues, Coaches, School District, Individual Teachers, ......  FUCK!!!!

I get it already.  

"We're in this together."

No we aren't. Fuck you.

#8842

Downy commercial "that's when you know it's half washed."  No, that's when you know you have shitty, old clothes.  Who walks around with "half washed" clothes?  Fuck off.

#8843
On 3/16/2020 at 9:05 AM, closetohumping said:

Hotels are getting rid of the travel size shampoo and soap. They’re being replaced by full size bottles that we all use.  Feels very unsanitary 

 

On 3/16/2020 at 9:22 AM, Onboard 2.0 said:

 Eeeeeeeeeeerwwwwwwwwww

 

On 3/16/2020 at 9:23 AM, SwanderedTalent said:

that will never last, people will send down for a replacement bottle and then raise holy hell if the answer is "no"

 

On 3/16/2020 at 1:08 PM, closetohumping said:

Yea.  Disgusting 

 

On 3/16/2020 at 2:30 PM, deadshank said:

Some  have the aggy special "conditioner."

Sheesh you filthy animals... don't you travel with your own?

#8845

Do not use a washcloth in a hotel room.  Travel with your own small container or bar soap and shampoo, but do not use the washcloths.  

#8846
45 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

The little ones the hotels give are usually free.  And sanitary 

Have you looked at the housekeeping staff lately?  

Thanks but no thanks, I'll buy and carry my own.  Sanitary? KKL may have been the housekeeper and rubbed the bottle on her butt.

#8847
8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Do not use a washcloth in a hotel room.  Travel with your own small container or bar soap and shampoo, but do not use the washcloths.  

Can't say it enough THISTHISTHIS^^^^^

#8848

are the washcloths too little to wash on "hot" with a dab of bleach just like other linen?

WTF did I miss with regard to washcloths?

FTR, i don't use them anyhoo.  I just scoot my fermundah cheese/ butt-funk onto that round body pillow thingy on most of the beds.

Edited by Iceman

#8850

The water they wash towels and wash cloths with at most hotels is so fucking hot they are usually still warm when you check in.

Seriously doubt you should worry too much about them.

The television remote is much worse.

Edited by Steamboat1874

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