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#9151
1 hour ago, Iceman said:

I see your bet and raise you timing the purchase of your other home so that you neither pay two mortgages nor sleep in the street...

Pulled it off last year and it felt borderline miraculous.  So many little things can blow it all to hell.

I hear ya.  I am much more concerned with being on one property and buying another and the market takes a shit and the property I am not using drops like crazy.  So, not putting a contract on a new place until this one has a contract.  Hopefully that happens by Sunday.  I don’t really mind moving to a high rise or something for a couple months if this one sells before the new one happens. Just not vice verse.  

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

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    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#9152
1 hour ago, Okie State said:

Not really trivial, but dealing with attorneys and getting nickel and dimed for filing paperwork. Fucking leaches.

leeches

 

That'll be $9.95**.

 

 

** Not an attorney.

Edited by Braff Zacklin

#9153



leeches
 
That'll be $9.95**.
 
 
** Not an attorney.


Fuck! Although $9.95 is a steal. Should charge half hour minimum at $250/hr.
#9154
Just now, Okie State said:

Fuck! Although $9.95 is a steal. Should charge half hour minimum at $250/hr.

 

There are only two rates applicable on Surly: $9.95 or tree-fiddy. In lieu of a juris doctor, I could not, in good conscience, charge the latter.

#9155
14 minutes ago, Braff Zacklin said:

There are only two rates applicable on Surly: $9.95 or tree-fiddy. In lieu of a juris doctor, I could not, in good conscience, charge the latter.

But is tree fiddy $3.50, $350, or $350,000?  I think we need a lawsuit to be sure. 

#9158
1 hour ago, NorthLoop said:

Why do you have to pay for half the movies and shows on Amazon Prime when you already pay for Amazon Prime?

It took a while but studios realised how much quality and popular shows and movies are worth, Especially as more people cut the cord. So now we get stuck with either crap or "original" shows. 

#9159
3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Why do you have to pay for half the movies and shows on Amazon Prime when you already pay for Amazon Prime?

Why are there commercials on satellite radio?

#9160
5 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Why do you have to pay for half the movies and shows on Amazon Prime when you already pay for Amazon Prime?

A-Fucking-men. 

And now they are running commercial promos before episodes, WTF!

#9161
On 6/12/2020 at 8:45 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

I'm glad to know companies are with my family during these trying times.

We are all in this together

(Read that with soft slow piano playing in the background)

 

#9162

This goes back to driving on the highway.

When driving at a nice clip there are people who race around you in the left lane to get two spots in front, just so that they get to the off ramp, which is less than a quarter-mile away, before anyone else.

#9163
On 6/12/2020 at 7:40 PM, nnm said:

Freaking realtors. 6% to drive around and drink lattes while the proprietary MLS and title company do all the work. 
I’ll probably trigger a few on here. I don’t care. 

Most over paid service there is.  How many actual hours do Realtors work to sell a home ?  They get 3% of a $2m home for maybe 20 hours of actual work, and that's being generous.  As the cost of homes has increased the % should have decreased.  They aren't doing any more work, actually they do less now with the internet social media, websites, MLS, etc.

#9164
4 hours ago, PittsburghTiger said:

This goes back to driving on the highway.

When driving at a nice clip there are people who race around you in the left lane to get two spots in front, just so that they get to the off ramp, which is less than a quarter-mile away, before anyone else.

As long as they don't slow down BEFORE the ^&*^$# ramp, IDGAF.

#9165

I’ve been listening to books from Audible for well over a year now. Most have been the 40+ hour variety with a few shorter ones sprinkled in. Until yesterday I never paid attention to the sound the reader makes when he inhales between sentences. Now I can’t un-hear it and it’s about to drive me nuts. It’s like being in a Lamaze class but the teacher is reading a Tom Clancy book to me.

#9167
On 6/13/2020 at 2:15 PM, Bullneck said:

Why are there commercials on satellite radio?

What channel are you listening to?

None of the music channels I listen to have commercials.

#9168
42 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

What channel are you listening to?

None of the music channels I listen to have commercials.

Howard 100 for one.  

#9170
37 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

"designed in America, made in ________"

Get the fuck out of here with this shit.

strong enough for a man, but made for a woman

#9171
On 5/27/2020 at 5:49 PM, deadshank said:

I've caught my share of Karen speed walkers / loud cell phone talkers pull apart the bag of lawn clippings left at my driveway by my lawn guy so Karen could stuff her dog's crap in it

you talkin about the big brown paper bags?  not your garbage bin?  I’ll never throw dog shit into a bin but a paper bag of grass is getting taken away in full.  it never even occurred to me that that would bother someone.  

 

On 5/28/2020 at 4:26 PM, Js1 said:

Jokes on you, I usually see how far I can lob that bag of shit onto your roof.  Bonus if it lands in your chimney. 

 there is something very oddly satisfying about flinging a poo bag as high and as far as you can. 

#9172
2 hours ago, futureman said:

you talkin about the big brown paper bags?  not your garbage bin?  I’ll never throw dog shit into a bin but a paper bag of grass is getting taken away in full.  it never even occurred to me that that would bother someone.  

 

We're talking plastic bags.  Tie up to close type.

The offenders either place their poop bag on top (it festers and falls off; trash guy picks up bag of lawn clippings and leaves poop bag on sidewalk) or offenders untie plastic bag and put poop bag inside bag of lawn clippings and then exit stage left without re-tying the bag of lawn clippings (grass clippings fall out of bag, poop bag falls out of bag and now more offenders see open bag as low-hanging fruit as they now don't even have to go to the effort of untying a bag to dish off their dog poop bag).

So, yeah, it makes me surly. 

#9175
35 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Why do I always put my keys in my left pocket when I fucking know I will be needing them in my right hand?

you dont want the jingling to attract attention when playing pocket-pool with your right hand

#9176
4 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

you dont want the jingling to attract attention when playing pocket-pool with your right hand

Are you suggesting that my left hand is cheating on my right hand? That fucker!!!

#9177
1 hour ago, deadshank said:

We're talking plastic bags.  Tie up to close type.

The offenders either place their poop bag on top (it festers and falls off; trash guy picks up bag of lawn clippings and leaves poop bag on sidewalk) or offenders untie plastic bag and put poop bag inside bag of lawn clippings and then exit stage left without re-tying the bag of lawn clippings (grass clippings fall out of bag, poop bag falls out of bag and now more offenders see open bag as low-hanging fruit as they now don't even have to go to the effort of untying a bag to dish off their dog poop bag).

So, yeah, it makes me surly. 

I hate dog shit as much as the next guy but putting in a plastic bag with a zip tie is about the dumbest fucking thing in the world.

Let's see......let it just just naturally biodegrade or put it in a plastic bag so it will last hundreds of years in a landfill?

#9178
1 hour ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Soon to be grandparents crafting their own names. Ex., recent duo wants to be called Lolli and Pop.

THIS THIS THIS. No. You get your "nickname" from what the kid calls you. That's how it works. That's how it always worked. Fuck your memaw privilege. 

#9181
1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

THIS THIS THIS. No. You get your "nickname" from what the kid calls you. That's how it works. That's how it always worked. Fuck your memaw privilege. 

That's fair.  But if no children are around and you make references to people named "Mee-Maw" and "Pop-Pop", I get to hit those people in the face. 

#9182
On 6/13/2020 at 11:01 AM, NorthLoop said:

Why do you have to pay for half the movies and shows on Amazon Prime when you already pay for Amazon Prime?

I finally gave in a signed up for Amazon Prime unlimited music mostly because it would ask me everytime I turned it on. Now it asks if I want the family plan....

#9183
21 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I finally gave in a signed up for Amazon Prime unlimited music mostly because it would ask me everytime I turned it on. Now it asks if I want the family plan....

Big Fish Sport GIF by Outside TV

#9184
3 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Soon to be grandparents crafting their own names. Ex., recent duo wants to be called Lolli and Pop.

I have a preference, but i bet it ends up being whatever the fuck the grandkids want it to be.

edit: Cheeseweasel beat me to it.

Edited by Iceman

#9186
3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I don't care what the grand kid calls me, just as long as the parents don't call me when there's a dirty diaper

Thee daughters, eight grandkids,  Been changing dirty diapers since 1976.  From the first diaper to the last it always nauseated me. Never got used to it.

#9188
6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Why do I always put my keys in my left pocket when I fucking know I will be needing them in my right hand?

And somehow its always when I'm carrying a heavy box or bags of groceries. 

#9189
6 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Soon to be grandparents crafting their own names. Ex., recent duo wants to be called Lolli and Pop.

They sound like a couple of dum dums. 

#9191

You ever have one of those days where it seems like the whole world found out you had plans and conspired to make sure they don't come to fruition?

Wife is supposed to be visiting her family this weekend. Was gonna hit the road this morning. After ~3 months of being stuck at home together almost non-stop, I was salivating at the thought of a quiet evening with the house to myself, all alone. Grill a steak, drink some good beers, watch a nerdy sci-fi movie, play some video games...etc. Welp, shit came up with her job and now she's not planning to leave until tomorrow morning, if she even goes. Then some friends of ours suggest we go grab dinner since she'll be in town after all. Then a neighbor texts a second ago and asks if they can come over and jump in the pool this afternoon.

So, basically the exact fucking opposite of what I had in mind as of the time I went to bed last night. 

#9192

The way toilet paper and paper towel companies adhere the first sheet of a roll that it never separates cleanly

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#9194

People who back into spaces at the top of a ramp but leave their lights on thereby blinding everyone coming up the ramp.

#9195

Male ended electrical cords that don't have a notch in 'em that makes up with the cord when you wind it up around the device.

Forgetting how to post a picture.

Splattered bugs on the windshield.

#9196

Every commercial on TV being COVID themed.  There's about 400 commercials right now with people in Zoom meetings telling everyone how we're all in this together and to stay safe.  Is there only one person in advertising making the exact same commercial for everybody?

#9197

Hey if you enjoyed this post can you go and smash that like button? It really helps me out. Also, don't forget to subscribe for more content and hit that little bell so you won't miss any of my upcoming posts. Thanks.

#9198

Brand new Subaru Forrester replete with paper tags still on it with a “Beto” sticker slapped on the back window.  

Nothing against Beto but the vehicle owner needs to know the wars over.   

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