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#10751
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Houston drivers make me surly.  They are by far the most incompetent drivers in the entire world, and I've driven in some shithole places.  This morning was the third time in five years that I've been rear ended (go ahead and make the jokes) on I10.  Is it really that hard to leave space between you and the car in front of you and to slow the fuck down when you see brake lights.  One of these days I'm going to go Falling Down on some fuckers in this city.  Fuck all you incompetent texting, eating, and generally shitty ass drivers who need to be relegated to a Metro bus full of covid infected low lifes.

not trivial.

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#10752
Houston drivers make me surly.  They are by far the most incompetent drivers in the entire world, and I've driven in some shithole places.  This morning was the third time in five years that I've been rear ended (go ahead and make the jokes) on I10.  Is it really that hard to leave space between you and the car in front of you and to slow the fuck down when you see brake lights.  One of these days I'm going to go Falling Down on some fuckers in this city.  Fuck all you incompetent texting, eating, and generally shitty ass drivers who need to be relegated to a Metro bus full of covid infected low lifes.
Texas drivers in general suck. I travel each day about 60 miles RT on highway 59. I wont go 2-3 days with some tard that camps in the left lane getting passed numerous times. You would think a light bulb would go off, but no. Totally clueless, even with the giant sign every 5 miles saying LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING ONLY.

Also is true on i20, i30, and 35.
#10753
19 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Houston drivers make me surly.  They are by far the most incompetent drivers in the entire world, and I've driven in some shithole places.  This morning was the third time in five years that I've been rear ended (go ahead and make the jokes) on I10.  Is it really that hard to leave space between you and the car in front of you and to slow the fuck down when you see brake lights.  One of these days I'm going to go Falling Down on some fuckers in this city.  Fuck all you incompetent texting, eating, and generally shitty ass drivers who need to be relegated to a Metro bus full of covid infected low lifes.

Quit driving so slow and get out of my way bro!!!  My life and texts are way more important than your shitty life, duh.  Go back to whatever burb or small town (including Dallas) your from.

#10754

I’ll take driving from The Woodlands to Hobby in morning rush over the regarded mother fuckers in this podunk wanna be town of 130k+/-. Not fucking joking one damn bit.

 

 

#10755
Flat head screws


So much this.

They’re usually in some of your home’s older electrical work - outlets, panels behind a wall, etc. I hate them all.

Being constipated.


Dude....user name does NOT check out. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Also....can you not afford a cup of coffee and a banana? That combo is money for such purposes.
#10756

The equivalent of taking 92 items to the express lane at the grocery store- douchebag at sonic drive through takes like 8 minutes to order and then it takes like 10 more minutes to fill his order.  Pull into one of the stalls for the bullshit, you sorry piece of shit. 

#10757
3 hours ago, markstanco said:

Texas drivers in general suck. I travel each day about 60 miles RT on highway 59. I wont go 2-3 days with some tard that camps in the left lane getting passed numerous times. You would think a light bulb would go off, but no. Totally clueless, even with the giant sign every 5 miles saying LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING ONLY.

Also is true on i20, i30, and 35.

The son was at Lackland, and said he'd never seen worse driving in his life. Tailgating,  15-25 over MPH speeding regularly, and sudden lane changes, terrible no on ramp lanes made for even worse habits, and road rage incidents.

#10758
1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

 


Dude....user name does NOT check out. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Also....can you not afford a cup of coffee and a banana? That combo is money for such purposes.

 

Meat and cheese are my Achilles heel.  They snuck up on me. 

The very best "unplugger" I ever used was the grape jelly in the old C rations.  A tin of that on a couple of crackers and an hour later you're trying to shit everything you ever ate.  Now my go-to is homemade sauerkraut.  Gentle, but thorough.  I don't drink coffee, anyway.

#10759

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

#10760

I was not an English major, but I am with you.  Whether it is a text, an email, a formal memo, a letter, or a novel, if it is written, it should be written to the best of your ability.  Lazy punctuation and grammar, even in a text, reflects a poor education, lack of attention to detail, or both.

#10761
21 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

 

10 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I was not an English major, but I am with you.  Whether it is a text, an email, a formal memo, a letter, or a novel, if it is written, it should be written to the best of your ability.  Lazy punctuation and grammar, even in a text, reflects a poor education, lack of attention to detail, or both.

Amen and amen. 

#10762
1 hour ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.

Of all the shit I might give my friends( and relatives) shit about, that has never crossed my mind.

 

Such a dubious transgression...LOL.

#10763
1 hour ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Start ending every sentence with incorrect punctuation? It will drive him mad;

#10764
2 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I was not an English major, but I am with you.  Whether it is a text, an email, a formal memo, a letter, or a novel, if it is written, it should be written to the best of your ability.  Lazy punctuation and grammar, even in a text, reflects a poor education, lack of attention to detail, or both.

fuk yeh:

#10766
21 hours ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

k

#10768
3 minutes ago, Okie State said:

Claussen pickle shortage. Starting to make me surly.

Best Maid works in a pinch...

pickle.jpg

#10769
On 2/13/2021 at 3:39 PM, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Point of parliamentary procedure:  When discussing punctuation on Surly, the Oxford comma must not be ignored.  Thems the rules. 

 

 

images.jpeg

#10770
1 hour ago, Doze said:

Point of parliamentary procedure:  When discussing punctuation on Surly, the Oxford comma must not be ignored.  *Thems the rules. 

 

 

images.jpeg

* Them's

#10771
On 2/13/2021 at 3:39 PM, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Hopefully prior to any period you mentioned that he typed like a Phag and that his shit was all regarded.

#10772
Start ending every sentence with incorrect punctuation? It will drive him mad;

What about ending a sentence with a preposition AND bad punctuation? What sort of hissy fit will that throw one into:
#10773
On 2/13/2021 at 10:39 PM, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Were these people men? I cannot for the life of me imagine telling another adult how to text.

#10774
On 2/13/2021 at 6:30 PM, BearMace said:

The shitty text to voice generator people are using on Instagram videos makes me wanna stab people.

Fixed it.

#10775
On 2/13/2021 at 1:10 PM, Scheiss Meister said:

Meat and cheese are my Achilles heel.  They snuck up on me. 

The very best "unplugger" I ever used was the grape jelly in the old C rations.  A tin of that on a couple of crackers and an hour later you're trying to shit everything you ever ate.  Now my go-to is homemade sauerkraut.  Gentle, but thorough.  I don't drink coffee, anyway.

Cheap diabetic chocolate candy. Better than Ex-Lax.

#10776
On 2/15/2021 at 6:52 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

Were these people men? I cannot for the life of me imagine telling another adult how to text.

Yeah, but I have to give the guy credit.  He's funny.  I sent him a picture of my Weber Kettle with 8" of snow around it and a chimney burning on it today.  He responded, asking if I was wearing shorts, and crocs with socks.  That fuckin' guy.

#10777
On 2/15/2021 at 10:44 AM, Shoxthemonkey said:

Cheap diabetic chocolate candy. Better than Ex-Lax.

Are you a dog?

Edited by Superhero

#10778

I love the premade meals sold at Central Market but why do the cashiers have to flip them over in order to scan the barcode? There's always someone who does that shit to me and I end up having a salmon/mashed potato/squash medley. What the fuck! Who mixes all of their food together like that? Babies.

#10780
On 2/12/2021 at 1:34 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Houston drivers make me surly.  They are by far the most incompetent drivers in the entire world, and I've driven in some shithole places.  This morning was the third time in five years that I've been rear ended (go ahead and make the jokes) on I10.  Is it really that hard to leave space between you and the car in front of you and to slow the fuck down when you see brake lights.  One of these days I'm going to go Falling Down on some fuckers in this city.  Fuck all you incompetent texting, eating, and generally shitty ass drivers who need to be relegated to a Metro bus full of covid infected low lifes.

Fuck.  I just got the word that they totaled my vehicle.  I've had it 10 years and put a little over 200,000 miles on it and it was still in great shape and ran beautifully.  It's been the best vehicle I've ever owned and I really wanted to get 300,000 miles out of it.  I know I'm going to get screwed on the settlement and I'm very pissed.  Fuck Houston drivers in the ass with a rusty shovel.  I just put new tires on it too.  Lexus drivers can lick my taint.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

#10781

Lips got chapped to hell during the cold last week and bottom lip developed a crack in it that has been bugging the shit out of me for the past 5 days now and just refuses to heal. Trivial little thing making me quite surly.

#10782
40 minutes ago, Storm the Field said:

Lips got chapped to hell during the cold last week and bottom lip developed a crack in it that has been bugging the shit out of me for the past 5 days now and just refuses to heal. Trivial little thing making me quite surly.

tenor.gif

#10783
48 minutes ago, Storm the Field said:

Lips got chapped to hell during the cold last week and bottom lip developed a crack in it that has been bugging the shit out of me for the past 5 days now and just refuses to heal. Trivial little thing making me quite surly.

super glue might help.

One lip at a time though...

#10785

Battery power on my phone. When it gets below 70 I stress. No idea why. At 45 right now but fine because I'll rack within the hour. Buy if I was at 45 on a weekend and out I would be worried.

#10787

Fucking vehicles with loud ass pipes.

These guys have smaller dicks than those driving huge pick-up trucks that are jacked up off of the ground evidently.

Get that shit out of here and do not get on my lawn either motherfuckers. 

#10788
5 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Fucking vehicles and Harleys with loud ass pipes.

These guys have smaller dicks than those driving huge pick-up trucks that are jacked up off of the ground evidently.

Get that shit out of here and do not get on my lawn either motherfuckers. 

Slight revision.

#10790

"You know what they say about our state (insert state), wait 15 minutes and the weather will change."

Yea, Texas and California and New York and Wisconsin and Florida sometimes drop 20 degrees in 2 hours and all the sudden it snows. Or it is sunny and starts raining.

Thats called weather on the planet called earth. It has nothing to do with political boundaries. Fok those 28 iq people who think they have extreme weather in their state.

#10791

To be fair, Brownsville and Dalhart are worlds apart on climate, especially in the winter.  Cali has some similar extremes.  Florida doesn't.  Neither do Wisconsin or New York.

#10792
On 2/14/2021 at 3:11 PM, slorch said:

Best Maid works in a pinch...

pickle.jpg

I used to be Team Best Maid, but the last couple of jars I bought were disappoint. Something changed.

  • Author
#10795
Amber alerts for a city 3.5 hours away from me
Amber alert in Laredo? Yeah I should definitely be on the lookout here in Houston.
#10796

Went to Autozone over the weekend.  Everytime I said something or asked a question he responded with "copy that."  Must have been around a dozen godamn times. I could feel my eyelid start twitching toward the end.

Motherfucker we aren't NASA pilots, we're just two dudes talking car parts.  Stop that shit.

#10800

Roger, Roger.  

What's your vector, Victor?  

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