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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

#12753
fucking escalators are never on the side that youre approaching from

People that get off an escalator and just stop without giving those behind them anywhere to go. They get pushed away and act like I’ve assaulted them.
#12754

When you’re making popcorn, unplug the popper waiting for unpopped kernels to pop so you can dump them into your bowl and the second you think it’s done, one pops and shit goes everywhere

#12755
1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

When you’re making popcorn, unplug the popper waiting for unpopped kernels to pop so you can dump them into your bowl and the second you think it’s done, one pops and shit goes everywhere

You'll put your eye out...

#12756
21 hours ago, HouTex said:


People that get off an escalator and just stop without giving those behind them anywhere to go. They get pushed away and act like I’ve assaulted them.

the end of the jetway coming back into the airport...

 

"Hey Martha, just where the fuck are we?  Where MIGHT we find info on our connecting flight or the rental car?"

 

"oh yes.  Right fucking here in front of other travellers trying to get the fuck out of the airport and make it on their way."

Edited by slorch

#12757
47 minutes ago, slorch said:

the end of the jetway coming back into the airport...

 

"Hey Martha, just where the fuck are we?  Where MIGHT we find info on our connecting flight or the rental car?"

 

"oh yes.  Right fucking here in front of other travellers trying to get the fuck out of the airport and make it on their way."

You have to correct these idiots. They're not malicious or deliberate, just stupid and oblivious. I usually just say "bad place to stop" in the least sarcastic/passive-aggressive tone I can manage (sometimes I fail at this...) as I navigate around them, and they usually have a Eureka moment and get the fuck out of the main right of way. 

It's less satisfying than shoulder checking them though. 

#12758
1 minute ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I usually just say "bad place to stop" in the least sarcastic/passive-aggressive tone

I say the same but in the most sarcastic way.

#12759
5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I say the same but in the most sarcastic way.

I usually say "I remember my first trip" in the most sarcastic way  

#12761

I have found that, while effective, channeling my inner drill instructor and shouting, "Make a hole, maggots!" really upsets people unfamiliar with the ways of Marines.

#12762

Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

#12763
Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

I don’t know much about baseball, but could they substitute some of the champagne showers for golden showers?
#12764
23 minutes ago, Hate said:

Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

It's pretty ridiculous for clinching the division or winning a freakin' LDS.  But I'm a baseball purist, taking the pennant in baseball still means something.  Particularly because for so long the two leagues really did play different baseball and were relatively siloed from one another.  I guess that's been diluted down quite a bit in the last 25 years or so, but I think winning your league deserves some champagne, and then obviously blow it out for the World Series.  But yeah, beating a Wild Card team in 5 games in the LDS isn't something to go on a champagne bender about.  

Old Man Yells at Cloud---if it were up to me, we'd contract the league by a few teams, eliminate all the playoff spots/WC except top 2 records in each league play a 7 game LCS and then a 9 game World Series.  

#12765
51 minutes ago, Hate said:

Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

Big Champagne would like to know your location

#12766

Well judging by the amount of champagne consumption my wife provides, they most likely already know my location. 

#12768

People that use the word “whilst”, either typed or spoken but especially spoken, deserve a throat punch. Don’t be one of these people. 

#12769
1 hour ago, Hate said:

Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

I'd allow for 2: winning a pennant and winning the whole thing.

You don't dogpile in college baseball just because you won a regional (unless you're a 3 or 4 seed, I guess).  Like you still have a lot more games to play. 

#12770

Yeah, I rather enjoy the post-season grind of college baseball, even the conference tournament.  But you gotta win your regional, then your super, then win your bracket in Omaha, just to make it to the Finals Series.  

However, in MLB...I find the expanded field and early rounds to be fucking annoying.  However, I am really looking forward to a 'Stros/Sox ALCS

#12771

Completely on board with fewer champagne celebrations. Pennant and WS makes sense. No other sport has formal locker room celebrations for every advanced step through the playoffs. MLB teams formally celebrate division clinches (or WC clinch), play-in game wins, LDS win, LCS win, and WS win. That’s 5 go-bonkers type parties in a 4 week stretch. 

#12772
People that use the word “whilst”, either typed or spoken but especially spoken, deserve a throat punch. Don’t be one of these people. 

Damn limeys.
  • Popular Post
#12773

every time i look up a recipe...why does everyone think you are interested in a full dish evolution backstory plus an in depth explanation on the emotional impact THIS specific type of paprika had when you were 12 years old?? plus 18 pictures in case you need visuals. 

JUST SHUT UP AND LIST THE INGREDIENTS, KAREN. OR CHAD.

this is why i still have a cookbook collection. 

Edited by mchookem

#12774
7 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

People that use the word “whilst”, either typed or spoken but especially spoken, deserve a throat punch. Don’t be one of these people. 

What if it is used whilst in a situation that calls for it?

#12777
13 hours ago, mchookem said:

every time i look up a recipe...why does everyone think you are interested in a full dish evolution backstory plus an in depth explanation on the emotional impact THIS specific type of paprika had when you were 12 years old?? plus 18 pictures in case you need visuals. 

JUST SHUT UP AND LIST THE INGREDIENTS, KAREN. OR CHAD.

this is why i still have a cookbook collection. 

Yes, I finally broke down and bought a pellet smoker a couple of months ago. I’m sure the purists here will turn up their noses, but it’s easy, and produces outstanding smoked meats. 
However, searching for recipes and instructions is maddening. Every one has a lengthy backstory and tons of completely irrelevant information. I have to scroll half the page just to get to something basic like temperature and time. 

#12779
On 10/14/2021 at 12:17 PM, Js1 said:

I'd allow for 2: winning a pennant and winning the whole thing.

You don't dogpile in college baseball just because you won a regional (unless you're a 3 or 4 seed, I guess).  Like you still have a lot more games to play. 

I think it depends on the team. If you're the Yankees or the Dodges: Pennant and WS only.

If you're the Mariners, as soon as you clinch a wild card spot.

If you're a Rangers fan (as I am) win #81 in the regular season seems like a good milestone.....

  • Popular Post
#12780
57 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I think it depends on the team. If you're the Yankees or the Dodges: Pennant and WS only.

Doge: doge

#12781
On 10/14/2021 at 10:18 AM, Hate said:

Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

I would throw in an exception for winning the pennant.

#12782
On 10/14/2021 at 11:18 AM, Hate said:

Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

Plus, don’t they get some kind of swag with each round? 

Division, Pennant, WS.  That’s it.  

Edited by Underdog

#12783

Hey Amazon Music. I like your app. I pay for your service. I don't want the "upgrade". You don't need to ask me EVERY FUCKING TIME I open the app.

#12784
9 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Hey Amazon Music. I like your app. I pay for your service. I don't want the "upgrade". You don't need to ask me EVERY FUCKING TIME I open the app.

Same thing with YouTube music.

Google Play >>>> YouTube music.

#12786
On 10/18/2021 at 7:25 PM, Superhero said:

 

Google Play >>>> YouTube music.

 

This is no lie.  Google took the best music streaming user interface and ruined it, IMO.  There was no reason to get rid of it for Youtube.

#12787
On 5/30/2021 at 8:41 AM, Okie State said:

My dog recently decided that she would only shit on my patio. It's her new morning routine.

 

On 5/30/2021 at 8:55 AM, deadshank said:

Good dog. 

"Shit, Ubu, shit."

#12788
On 10/14/2021 at 10:18 AM, Hate said:

Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), there should not be champagne celebrations after every round.  It's absolutely stupid and I can't stand it.  There should only be one champagne shower and it should be for the team that wins the World Series. 

It's hard as hell to keep winning.( or to get started for that matter.)

Let em fucking party.  WGAF?

Edited by slorch

  • Author
#12789

people who don't know how to zipper merge, either by merging too early, by getting mad at people merging at the correct point and not letting them in, or by sitting on the stripe and not letting anyone by. 

people who move from the middle lane into the right hand lane just at the point where the entrance ramp hits the right hand lane, just as you, merging on, need to go there. 

people who are getting onto the highway from a ramp lane trying to out brake you, exiting the highway onto the ramp lane with your signal on. 

Edited by elfenix

#12792

When the Northwestern-Michigan game, the Illinois-Penn State game, the Cincy-Navy game, and the local sports radio station are all in a commercial break at the same time. 

#12794

BD75ED2C-9A23-4C65-BCA0-920374864370.thumb.jpeg.4ded4a6da565335d32482c4fc7660cdf.jpegHad a fried seafood basket tonight and chipped a tooth on what I assume is a tiny pearl.

Edited by conVINCEd

#12795

Cottage cheese. Specifically, the highly variable consistency of it. Even within a given brand like Borden's or HEB, sometimes it's a runny, soupy mess, and at other times it's a thick, congealed lump with the consistency of drywall mud. 

 

#12798
1 hour ago, Paper_jam said:

Cottage cheese. Specifically, the highly variable consistency of it. Even within a given brand like Borden's or HEB, sometimes it's a runny, soupy mess, and at other times it's a thick, congealed lump with the consistency of drywall mud. 

 

And sometimes it’s on the back of the skank’s legs that you met at the bar and found out about it way too late. 

#12799
Just now, deadshank said:

And sometimes it’s on the back of the skank’s legs that you met at the bar and found out about it way too late. 

We really didn’t need to read that . I’m now having ………visions …..

#12800
7 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

For scale

You didn’t have a quarter on hand? Or a nickel? Or a penny? Or a dime? How are we supposed to know how big or small your head is?

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