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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

#14853

Every time I watch a show or movie about football.   They’re Usually way off in terminology, make no logical sense (he’s taking my spot, bro there can be more than 1 wide receiver) and they’re too cheap to pay for extras so usually there’s like 19 players on a team 

#14854
2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Every time I watch a show or movie about football.   They’re Usually way off in terminology, make no logical sense (he’s taking my spot, bro there can be more than 1 wide receiver) and they’re too cheap to pay for extras so usually there’s like 19 players on a team 

Same thing for me with any show or movie about oil and gas stuff, or legal stuff.

Case in point:  I recently watched “Dark Winds” on AMC because I loved the Hillerman books back in the day. One of the plot points was an explosion at the “derrick.”  The equipment in the shot was a pump jack. Which blew up because they were drilling through uranium, or something like that.

And the AIM-inspired Native American group was seeking to stop the mineral exploration by buying up the surface. But that’s not how mineral rights work. And if there were minerals on the Navajo Reservation they’re Tribal anyway. Etc., etc.

Loosely followed the Hillerman book “Listening Woman.”  Watchable because of that, but some of the acting was turrbull. Also watchable for me because most of the outside shots were where I lived, played, and worked everyday when I was young. 

#14856

We just hired a 400 lb Cliff Clavin and he's on my shift 2 nights a week. I'm hoping he won't last long because he annoys the shit out of me. We chew through new hires pretty quick and he isn't keeping up.

#14859
42 minutes ago, Bill Brasky said:

people that refer to southern France as the "south of France" 

people referring to all/any parts of the netherlands as holland

#14860
7 hours ago, Atxracer said:

Kids in planes….oops, that was mine.

Kids in planes that have nothing to do...

Luckily my wife always had puzzles, workbooks and toys for the kids to play while on the plane. 

Kids who are shits on the plan usually come down to the parents.

#14861
8 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

people that refer to southern France as the "south of France" 

Is Lubbock in Western Texas?

#14863
4 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Kids in planes that have nothing to do...

Luckily my wife always had puzzles, workbooks and toys for the kids to play while on the plane. 

Kids who are shits on the plan usually come down to the parents.

Not all of us have Asian parenting skills. 

#14864
Just now, ztejas said:

Not all of us have Asian parenting skills. 

See? That's why you have to pay attention in school and do your homework before the piano teacher gets to your house.

#14865
Just now, Superhero said:

See? That's why you have to pay attention in school and do your homework before the piano teacher gets to your house.

I don't want the reed. 

#14866
On 7/22/2022 at 1:53 PM, HouTex said:

Dumbshits that for some reason assume every lobby-level elevator is empty and block people trying to leave the elevator.  Some of them even try to get in the elevator before everyone has gotten out. 

I actually like this when I'm feeling surly.  Gives me the opportunity to just shoulder check the bitchez out of the way.  And whenever I do that, which is less than once/year, none of them ever complain.  Almost like they know they are screwups and getting what they deserve.

#14867
59 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Kids who are shits on the plan usually come down to the parents.

Is it bad parenting or bad planning?

#14868
8 hours ago, shakahorn said:

I actually like this when I'm feeling surly.  Gives me the opportunity to just shoulder check the bitchez out of the way.  And whenever I do that, which is less than once/year, none of them ever complain.  Almost like they know they are screwups and getting what they deserve.

Look everybody, Internet tough guy. 

#14869
10 hours ago, Superhero said:

See? That's why you have to pay attention in school and do your homework before the piano teacher gets to your house.

Did you spell Jewish wrong?

#14872
7 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Sir, you have the monkeypox. 

I wish. Would be more pleasant than fire ants. 

#14873
17 minutes ago, nnm said:

I wish. Would be more pleasant than fire ants. 

"Things I don't miss from living in SE Texas" for $500, Alex.

 

My posit for the thread today:

Nails/ screws in a parking lot, see also: gum on the sidewalk/ parking lot.

Fuck you people who don't give a fuck about others, and may you burn in hell.

#14874
On 7/23/2022 at 3:38 PM, 52-80 said:

people referring to all/any parts of the netherlands as holland

George: What is Holland?

Jerry: What do you mean, 'what is it?' It's a country right next to Belgium.

George: No, that's the Netherlands.

Jerry: Holland *is* the Netherlands.

George: Then who are the Dutch?

#14877
1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

George: What is Holland?

Jerry: What do you mean, 'what is it?' It's a country right next to Belgium.

George: No, that's the Netherlands.

Jerry: Holland *is* the Netherlands.

George: Then who are the Dutch?

There are two things I can’t stand in the world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.

#14878
5 minutes ago, 66BUFF said:

There are two things I can’t stand in the world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.

3f1fb445-c2e5-48d3-b95c-6b64ecfbdae6_tex

#14879

Paper towel packing trying to convince me I’m really getting 20 rolls worth of paper towels in the eight pack. Bitch, that’s eight rolls of paper towels.

#14883
Fire ants make me surly. Pics below are a small sampling of the approx 50 bites I got while replacing sprinkler heads in my yard  9D20DE85-86BE-40F2-967D-079B661EFFCA.thumb.jpeg.841a3f4b92a2198075924447bb403a83.jpegBAB71F0D-AB1E-49A6-9C2A-58BD16FC0FDD.thumb.jpeg.15741bb7a475eb44f3228f79a6ceaacf.jpeg
https://www.texasmonthly.com/travel/fire-ants-from-hell/
 
That article was from 1988, about 6 years after I first learned about fire ants. 34 years later, here we are. 
 
Apply vinegar right after being bit. Greatly reduces swelling so you don't scare women and children with your hideous swollen hands.
#14884
19 hours ago, Superhero said:

Day 95 and counting...

Got this on day 96... You think shooting up their ceiling will make them approve me faster?

 

image.png.81a2b09982833a1b370a2f0955e04a1f.png

#14887

There's a chance the application is being waitlisted on grounds of using a yahoo email address alone.

#14888
26 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

There's a chance the application is being waitlisted on grounds of using a yahoo email address alone.

Perhaps FUCK-THE-TSA@yahoo.com might have been a poor choice

#14890

I'm stranded at Dulles for 4 hours and it appears the place only sells Pepsi products. Did Gym Jordan take over operations? Did I enter an Ohio wormhole? No wonder our government doesn't function.

#14892
8 hours ago, DaysOff said:

I'm stranded at Dulles for 4 hours and it appears the place only sells Pepsi products. Did Gym Jordan take over operations? Did I enter an Ohio wormhole? No wonder our government doesn't function.

Ohio State only sells Coke products in its sports and entertainment facilities. 

#14894
On 7/23/2022 at 9:14 PM, ztejas said:

I don't want the reed. 

That’s fine. Then you get the feather duster or the bottom of my slipper. 

#14895
On 7/27/2022 at 1:51 AM, 52-80 said:

sir, have you considered applying under a more White Anglo-Saxon Protestant name?

I will re-apply using the name Kristoffer Cuthbert.  Kristoffer will be a dead give-away that my parents are white. 

#14896
On 7/23/2022 at 3:38 PM, 52-80 said:

people referring to all/any parts of the netherlands as holland

then who are the Dutch?

Edited by Biff Tannen
I see I am very late to this party

#14897
17 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

then who are the Dutch?

Apparently the folks who fart into ovens

#14898

These twitchy, herky-jerky MFers that shake their legs up and down while sitting at a bar or at a table.  Looks like they’re working double kick drums like a Neil Peart Double Live at Budokan drum solo.   
 

Settle down already.  No wonder your parents beat you. 

#14900
29 minutes ago, deadshank said:

These twitchy, herky-jerky MFers that shake their legs up and down while sitting at a bar or at a table.  Looks like they’re working double kick drums like a Neil Peart Double Live at Budokan drum solo.   
 

Settle down already.  No wonder your parents beat you. 

I was in a beach side bar in Oceanside with some other Marines and a guy came in, sat down, then started twitching his legs like frog legs in a hot pan.  I wondered two things: what is he on, and how many of John Wesley Hardin's victims just happened to do that around him and that set him off?  Wierd and annoying.

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