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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

#5602
10 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

How else are you going to disrupt the paradigm?

Value added to shifting the noun/verb market place. Huddle for a scrum with stakeholders for road mapping and parking lot alignment.

We need our customers to lean in on this marketing...

 

What in the living fuck does this even mean?  Yes, contextual clues, but who heard it the first time and thought, "Yes, that sounds smarter than hell..."

#5603
2 hours ago, slorch said:

We need our customers to lean in on this marketing...

What in the living fuck does this even mean?  Yes, contextual clues, but who heard it the first time and thought, "Yes, that sounds smarter than hell..."

Obviously you've never sat thru a Marketing meeting. Everyone else in the company are morons and if it wasn't for the marketing people, you'd all be out of jobs. So I've been told by the marketing people. Synergy. 

#5604
On 4/6/2019 at 11:24 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

The police do if it covers any part of any numbers or letters they can pull you over for it.

#5605
2 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

The police do if it covers any part of any numbers or letters they can pull you over for it.

Yeah,  but only at the end of the month, if it's not raining or lunch time or near shift changes.

Edited by Onboard 2.0

#5606

At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

#5607
49 minutes ago, TornACL said:

At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

I go even farther.  I tell them I will gladly let them leave them on for 1-3 years if hey will take $1000-$3000 off the price.  I call it my fee to market their dealership.

#5608
1 hour ago, Felix said:

I go even farther.  I tell them I will gladly let them leave them on for 1-3 years if hey will take $1000-$3000 off the price.  I call it my fee to market their dealership.

You're nice to them.  I tell them $100.00 per month for the entire time I own the vehicle.

#5609
I'm more pissed at him for being over the age of 8 and having a scooter (at least that's what it looks like).
So I found myself behind Tactical Backpack again this morning, and not having any urgent rush to get into the office, I decided to follow him to see where he works and to learn whatever else I could about the habits and rituals of such a strange creature.

He carried the scooter from Ogilvie Station all the way to Wabash and Monroe before eventually unfolding it and scooting off (map of walking route attached, along with a slightly better picture of his bag of bags.)

He had ample opportunity and clear enough sidewalks/streets to get it out much sooner, but he waited all that time.

Perhaps I spooked him. And maybe he's posting on a Zombie Prepper forum at this very moment about the stunningly handsome shithead who followed him this morning.1a026f3255abb3b13c9e4dd17c579afb.jpg6b5898f24fb908e6e84e4cb66033dd26.jpg
#5610
On 4/8/2019 at 12:51 PM, Buffsoldier said:

You're nice to them.  I tell them $100.00 per month for the entire time I own the vehicle.

You're nice to them. I tell them, "You're a funny guy. I'll kill you last."

#5615

Why is it that every fucking time I need to unlock the door to get in the house my keys are in the same pocket as whatever hand is carrying all the shit I’m bringing in from the car?

I’m forced to do the awkward opposite hand cross body pocket dig.

It makes it all better when my wife is sitting on the couch fifteen feet away from the door.

#5616
5 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

So I found myself behind Tactical Backpack again this morning, and not having any urgent rush to get into the office, I decided to follow him to see where he works and to learn whatever else I could about the habits and rituals of such a strange creature.

He carried the scooter from Ogilvie Station all the way to Wabash and Monroe before eventually unfolding it and scooting off (map of walking route attached, along with a slightly better picture of his bag of bags.)

He had ample opportunity and clear enough sidewalks/streets to get it out much sooner, but he waited all that time.

Perhaps I spooked him. And maybe he's posting on a Zombie Prepper forum at this very moment about the stunningly handsome shithead who followed him this morning.1a026f3255abb3b13c9e4dd17c579afb.jpg6b5898f24fb908e6e84e4cb66033dd26.jpg

You're giving ROFLBOX a run for his money.

#5618

Stores that put trash cans out in front of their building but nowhere near the doors of the building.  I'm not walking through the wall of your store when I am entering and leaving.  I am walking through your doors.  If you want me to throw my trash in your trash cans put them by the doors.

#5619
On 4/8/2019 at 10:10 AM, TornACL said:

At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

And here I thought I was the only one. + rep 

#5620
1 hour ago, EMAWesome said:

Stores that put trash cans out in front of their building but nowhere near the doors of the building.  I'm not walking through the wall of your store when I am entering and leaving.  I am walking through your doors.  If you want me to throw my trash in your trash cans put them by the doors.

assholes who litter

#5621
On 4/6/2019 at 1:57 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

How about license plate frames and stickers from the car dealership? Yeah, I fucking hate you guys so much, but I want to drive around displaying your advertisements...for free. 

I immediately remove those from my vehicles. 

#5622

Just saw a news story about an old couple that crashed their car into a store. The newscaster said “the driver mistook the brake for the gas pedal”. No you idiot, if that were true he would have stopped when he wanted to go. He mistook the gas pedal for the brake you moron.

#5623
On 4/9/2019 at 3:09 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

So I found myself behind Tactical Backpack again this morning, and not having any urgent rush to get into the office, I decided to follow him to see where he works and to learn whatever else I could about the habits and rituals of such a strange creature.

He carried the scooter from Ogilvie Station all the way to Wabash and Monroe before eventually unfolding it and scooting off (map of walking route attached, along with a slightly better picture of his bag of bags.)

He had ample opportunity and clear enough sidewalks/streets to get it out much sooner, but he waited all that time.

Perhaps I spooked him. And maybe he's posting on a Zombie Prepper forum at this very moment about the stunningly handsome shithead who followed him this morning.1a026f3255abb3b13c9e4dd17c579afb.jpg6b5898f24fb908e6e84e4cb66033dd26.jpg

Prepuce, you seem a little "disturbed" or obsessed.

#5624
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Just saw a news story about an old couple that crashed their car into a store. The newscaster said “the driver mistook the brake for the gas pedal”. No you idiot, if that were true he would have stopped when he wanted to go. He mistook the gas pedal for the brake you moron.

I'd write a very strongly worded letter to the editor....

#5626

Fucking ebay sellers and their "Make an offer" bullshit. Guy priced his item at 55, I offered 40. He counters at 50 and says "Final price, no lower". Why even do the offer part? I'm not saying he should be forced to take my offer but if 5 bucks is all the margin you have, just stick with the "buy it now" and quit acting like you're doing me a favor. This other douche was at 75, I offered 60. He graciously countered with 72. WTF?

#5627
1 hour ago, Sandman said:

Fucking ebay sellers and their "Make an offer" bullshit. Guy priced his item at 55, I offered 40. He counters at 50 and says "Final price, no lower". Why even do the offer part? I'm not saying he should be forced to take my offer but if 5 bucks is all the margin you have, just stick with the "buy it now" and quit acting like you're doing me a favor. This other douche was at 75, I offered 60. He graciously countered with 72. WTF?

He's expecting you to continue the dance until you settle at 67 or somewhere in the middle. Not rocket science. 

#5629

People who just toss/drop items into their grocery cart.

Damnit, items need to be placed neatly / organized into the cart.

Haphazard carts are indicative of trashy people.

#5630
3 hours ago, Sandman said:

Fucking ebay sellers and their "Make an offer" bullshit. Guy priced his item at 55, I offered 40. He counters at 50 and says "Final price, no lower". Why even do the offer part? I'm not saying he should be forced to take my offer but if 5 bucks is all the margin you have, just stick with the "buy it now" and quit acting like you're doing me a favor. This other douche was at 75, I offered 60. He graciously countered with 72. WTF?

Yeah that's called negotiation friend. Stay strong. 

#5631

dont know what the fuck is up with our luck but half the time we go on vacation or quick getaways the weather is gray and rainy.  same thing again this weekend

#5632
5 hours ago, 52-80 said:

dont know what the fuck is up with our luck but half the time we go on vacation or quick getaways the weather is gray and rainy.  same thing again this weekend

It's because you touch yourself. 

#5633
1 minute ago, lateshow said:

It's because you touch yourself. 

well yes, but i dont see how that affects the polar winds and tide patterns and such

#5634
7 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

well yes, but i dont see how that affects the polar winds and tide patterns and such

I don't either. You'll have to take that up with God. 

#5636

At home with a sick kid today.  School has been a beating lately, so I'm counting it as a day off.  Cool.  Time to sleep in.  Nope.

7:45 - Wife calls.  She left her phone at home.  Call her on this number if need be.

8:01 - Parent of one of my students texts three times to let me know she's sorry her kid hit another kid yesterday.

8:08 - Some robocall re: yearly insurance signups are coming up.

Oh well, at least I got the yard done.  Don't have to worry about it while in Austin for the Spring Game over the weekend.

#5637

I can't imagine being a teacher and giving your cell phone number to Mom's (unless they are hot).

How many "what was tonight's homework?" texts do you get in a week?

#5638
46 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

well yes, but i dont see how that affects the polar winds and tide patterns and such

"I'm not trying to brag or anything but my erection affects the tide, kind of like the moon. So, just sayin"

#5640

3 lane road, and car in right lane isn’t turning right on red.

Granted, it’s not a turn only lane, but still....

If it’s an old, it doesn’t really bother me as much, but typically, it’s just some poor

#5641
2 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So you like to put your erection into a full moon?

I was thinking he was affecting the tide in a filled rocks glass ... at best....

#5642
4 minutes ago, former alkie said:

3 lane road, and car in right lane isn’t turning right on red.

Granted, it’s not a turn only lane, but still....

If it’s an old, it doesn’t really bother me as much, but typically, it’s just some poor

This kills me. Common fucking courtesy people.

#5643
16 minutes ago, former alkie said:

3 lane road, and car in right lane isn’t turning right on red.

Granted, it’s not a turn only lane, but still....

If it’s an old, it doesn’t really bother me as much, but typically, it’s just some poor

What is worse is they sit there during the red and then turn right anyway when the light turns green.

#5644
2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I can't imagine being a teacher and giving your cell phone number to Mom's (unless they are hot).

How many "what was tonight's homework?" texts do you get in a week?

It's a poor school.  I'm generally quite ecstatic when I hear from a parent.  16 students.  I've met about 6 parents.

#5645
50 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

This kills me. Common fucking courtesy people.

This is stupid. It's never wrong to be in the appropriate lane for your course of action. You expecting other people to make multiple lane changes to accommodate the possibility that someone coming behind them might maybe want to turn right on red of the opportunity arises is the height of entitlement.

#5647
33 minutes ago, Llogg said:

This is stupid. It's never wrong to be in the appropriate lane for your course of action. You expecting other people to make multiple lane changes to accommodate the possibility that someone coming behind them might maybe want to turn right on red of the opportunity arises is the height of entitlement.

Yes. I am entitled. Fuck you too.

#5648
38 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

It's a poor school.  I'm generally quite ecstatic when I hear from a parent.  16 students.  I've met about 6 parents.

Damn. That makes me surly.

#5649
3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I can't imagine being a teacher and giving your cell phone number to Mom's (unless they are hot).

How many "what was tonight's homework?" texts do you get in a week?

Ten o clock last night, I ask some insignificant question to the wife about some insignificant shit my 3rd grader has coming up in school. Wife says "I'll text Mrs. ____." I'm like, what? its ten o clock at night.

Before I can even get the words out, the teacher has texted back.

Wtf.

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