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2 hours ago, Felix said:

Mexican bus' in the left lane on I35.  Seriously, a bus should NEVER be in the left lane.  EVER!

FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES!!!

 

And back to the situational awareness.  EVERY... DAMN... DAY!  Driving home, some asshat is in the left lane and WON'T get over, then get's butthurt when they get passed on the right and cut off.  Especially fun when it's right next to the sign that says "LEFT LANE FOR PASSING ONLY".  95% of those are soccer moms on their damn phones not paying attention doing 55 in a 60.

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    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

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    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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2 hours ago, Felix said:

Mexican bus' in the left lane on I35.  Seriously, a bus should NEVER be in the left lane.  EVER!

Random apostrophes.

 

That's a pluralization homie.

2 minutes ago, Felix said:

That's a pluralization homie.

I typically type buses if I want the plural of bus.  But hey, that's just me.

Makes a better explanation than "not sure where that fucking apostrophe came from". 

6 minutes ago, Felix said:

That's a pluralization homie.

Apostrophes indicate possession, not pluralization. 

Apostrophes indicate possession, not pluralization. 
Only idiot's believe that.

If you walk slowly or need to check your messages on the phone...

 

Be aware of your presence in a public place and GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rather than start a new thread:

What is the earliest I can mow my lawn on a weekday? Or a weekend?

 

I figure 8:00am is about as early as I'll get out there and consider myself a decent neighbor. By the time I get my shit together it's after 8:30 before I crank the mower. If you fuckers sleep past then, you should be living in an apartment.

5 hours ago, SuperSurly said:

I walked into the restroom at work today and someone had turned off the light.  Actually had to reach up and turn it back on - big inconvenience that added to my Friday morning surliness...

Ours has three stalls, I like to wait until at least two are occupied, and then turn out the lights after I finish pissing.

6 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Ours has three stalls, I like to wait until at least two are occupied, and then turn out the lights after I finish pissing.

Thank you.  I prefer fapping in the dark.

Self-absorbed people who seem completely unaware of their surroundings.

Edited by DougO

When I take my family out to dinner and sit there long enough with no service that I have to get up and ask where the fuck my waiter is. Normally I'd just leave, but that's more of a hassle lugging two kids around.

^ Happened to us at Cheddars years ago, after about 10 minutes when several personnel walked by our table, we finally gave up and walked out.  I never went back to Cheddars, fuck'em. 

^ Happened to us at Cheddars years ago, after about 10 minutes when several personnel walked by our table, we finally gave up and walked out.  I never went back to Cheddars, fuck'em. 
Same shit has happened to me and my wife (no pics) more than once. We've had to walk out before and never went back.

Fuck Cheddars. They’ll cut you off after two drinks in the afternoon when you’re just waiting for a tow truck.

3 hours ago, Okie State said:

When I take my family out to dinner and sit there long enough with no service that I have to get up and ask where the fuck my waiter is. Normally I'd just leave, but that's more of a hassle lugging two kids around.

not trivial

 

When the 2 dumbest members of the family are the ones that play fast money on Family Feud

Laugh tracks
This. Tried to watch The Ranch on Netflix. Can't do it because it has a laugh track. Why the fuck is a Netflix Original using a laugh track anyways?
This. Tried to watch The Ranch on Netflix. Can't do it because it has a laugh track. Why the fuck is a Netflix Original using a laugh track anyways?
This is exactly why I can't watch it. It has some people I really like in it, but damn, I can't get past the laugh track.

People who can't walk in a fairly straight line at the airport. They're strolling along, drifting around in the breeze when I'm trying to pass. Now, I get to the terminal gate, and there is a woman snacking and popping gum.

Coming up to a 4-way stop with another car. You're the first person there, and they wave you on. It's a control issue (thanks, alcoholism).

Chewing gum in line!?!?!?!?
Seated at the gate. I got up and moved.

And that should have read "smacking" not "snacking". Apparently, with my autocorrect, I have to tap the word I want twice, which also makes me surly.

759 pages and the search function is outdated ccf9dc6cc3e9a21828593e0ce56e095a.jpg

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12 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
13 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:
Laugh tracks

This. Tried to watch The Ranch on Netflix. Can't do it because it has a laugh track. Why the fuck is a Netflix Original using a laugh track anyways?

You're not kidding - I tried watching an old Friends episode once an it was awful

13 hours ago, skipperj said:

Fuck Cheddars. They’ll cut you off after two drinks in the afternoon when you’re just waiting for a tow truck.

Was that the Ceddar's in Allen by chance? Because we had that same experience. By the time we actually got our food, we asked for them to make it to go since it was already so late by that time.

4 hours ago, Quasimofo said:

Seated at the gate. I got up and moved.

And that should have read "smacking" not "snacking". Apparently, with my autocorrect, I have to tap the word I want twice, which also makes me surly.

Image result for hedley lamarr chewing gum on line

4 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Was that the Ceddar's in Allen by chance? Because we had that same experience. By the time we actually got our food, we asked for them to make it to go since it was already so late by that time.

South Mopac. A hose or something blew on my wife’s car so I pulled in there and parked. Sent the family home in a cab. While I was waiting for AAA, popped in for a couple drinks. AAA took forever, so I made it to drink three. Fuck that place.

When you crack an egg and get that random egg white spurt that always lands somewhere that isn’t the pan.

When you crack an egg and get that random egg white spurt that always lands somewhere that isn’t the pan.


I suspect you’re cracking your eggs wrong.

Go in to Walmart at 10PM on a weeknight and there is 1 cashier. Fuck a bunch of self checkout. Hire another cashier.

Edited by RPM

When they also shut down the self-checkout.

so no cashiers...and no self check-out?

 

Were you in an HEB?

7 hours ago, slorch said:

so no cashiers...and no self check-out?

 

You can check out any time you like. But you can never leave.

On 4/20/2018 at 8:00 PM, skipperj said:

Fuck Cheddars. They’ll cut you off after two drinks in the afternoon when you’re just waiting for a tow truck.

Was this before or after they asked you to put your pants on?

When I’m buying a drink at the convenience store and the grubby clerk who maybe washes his hands once a month hand molests the entire top of the drink while scanning and bagging it.  

21 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

When I’m buying a drink at the convenience store and the grubby clerk who maybe washes his hands once a month hand molests the entire top of the drink while scanning and bagging it.  

That's why God invented Purell.

28 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

When I’m buying a drink at the convenience store and the grubby clerk who maybe washes his hands once a month hand molests the entire top of the drink while scanning and bagging it.  

Every once in a while this fact dawns on me.  There is absolutely nothing that suggests the top of a beer can is clean.  

On 4/20/2018 at 7:35 PM, Okie State said:

When I take my family out to dinner and sit there long enough with no service that I have to get up and ask where the fuck my waiter is. Normally I'd just leave, but that's more of a hassle lugging two kids around.

I've pissed of a waiter by walking to the bar to order a drink because the waiter took forever to take or drink order.

When i pull up along side a terrible driver while passing them and they have BOTH hands on the steering wheel. 10 & 2. It makes me angry that driving has them so nervous.

When I'm in a hurry as I'm walking in the grocery store with a cart, and an old lady with her cart in front of me just stops in the middle of the entrance door, and there's no room to go around her....so you have to wait while other people with carts also trying to get in the store stack up behind you.

 

That's your bad for being in a hurry.

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43 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

That's why God invented Purell.

Yep. I keep it in my truck and use it. But the lack of awareness of people is something. And it’s usually some immigrant from Pakistan who wipes his ass with his hand dragging his filth all over the top of my tall boy. 



I suspect you’re cracking your eggs wrong.


Don’t you condescend to me man

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