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#8651

I’m sitting here at Safelite getting a windshield replaced and some dipshit is watching WWE wrestling on his phone with the audio cranked up.  He’s lucky I’m not carrying right now. 

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#8652
17 hours ago, 52-80 said:

thats exactly what i would expect a fattie to say. 

 

 

 

 

You is smart, you is important, and you is a fat ass....

#8653
6 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

I’m sitting here at Safelite getting a windshield replaced and some dipshit is watching WWE wrestling on his phone with the audio cranked up.  He’s lucky I’m not carrying right now. 

awesome. you should snap a pic of said dipshit

#8654
9 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

I’m sitting here at Safelite getting a windshield replaced and some dipshit is watching WWE wrestling on his phone with the audio cranked up.  He’s lucky I’m not carrying right now. 

I thought Safelite came to you ?

#8657

Yeah, you were gonna threaten a guy with your weapon because he was listening to his phone too loud because one of his ears doesn't work?  

Plus, you're at a Safelife repair waiting room.  If it was a doctor's office or even a barber shop, I'd say he was outta line.  But it's a Safe-Lite, the Jiffy Lube of windshield repair.

Kinda reminds me of this exchange two students had in my class awhile back.  This young man is giving his portion of the group presentation and this female students asks him a question about how he arrived at one of this cash-flow number or something.  It was a math/explain your philosophy type of bundled question.  She asked it quickly and politely.  Well he goes off on this 2-minute answer that's very monotone and matter-of-fact and even teeters towards a "how could you not understand this?" vibe...There's no other way but this was as the logical conclusion."  Almost sounded like Spock.  So the female is pissy as hell, huffs and says he's insulting to her for "Mansplaining" this answer in such a rude tone and looks around to her team and mumbles something about "am I the only one who is tired of all this Mansplaining bullshit?" (it was my first encounter with the word in public).  The guy simply says, "I have Asperger's.  This is the only way I know how answer questions."  Her face was like she just found out the loud phone guy was missing an ear.  /csb

#8659
2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

awesome. you should snap a pic of said dipshit

I'm pretty sure that MNLonghorn *is* the guy, and he knew that Cabo was posting about him here, and he indirectly made Cabo dunk on himself by telling him to photograph his missing ear. 

Well played! 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

#8660
3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So mansplaining is using tone when answering stupid questions from females using simple words they can understand

Pretty much.  It's an upper division finance course at one of the top business schools in the country---so yeah, you're expected to know the nuances of not only your presentation, but also what to look for/listen for in the presentations of your classmates (whom your feedback form for, is taken into account in their overall project grade...which helps determine which of the class startups goes into the real life incubator at UT where tens of thousands of dollars in angel/seed money are on the line).  Her question(s) was nice enough, she wasn't trying to show him up but he just answered factually, probably got a little elementary for her but I actually liked that because in real life pitches, there's always some LP in the room who needs more elementary clarification.  But because "tone" and shit, she takes total offense and calls it Mansplaining.  

Now, if you were so say, "Listen here Sweet-Tits, there's a lot of math behind our pro-forma that I don't want to confuse you with...so let me skip ahead and just show you the bottom line and you can use that extra time to get us some sandwiches."  Then yes, that's mansplaining.  But one colleague talking to another one, if you don't like the way he's answering you, show him up by asking a tougher follow up question or challenge one of the assumptions, etc.  Don't just throw your arms up, declare sexual discrimination, and whine to your professor about a guy who probably had to spend 3x as long preparing for this presentation so as not to come across like Mark Zuckerberg on Nyquil.  

#8661
I’m sitting here at Safelite getting a windshield replaced and some dipshit is watching WWE wrestling on his phone with the audio cranked up.  He’s lucky I’m not carrying right now. 
Thata when you put on pandora at full volume on your phone speaker. He'll get the hint.
#8662
3 hours ago, Lobo said:

"Listen here Sweet-Tits, there's a lot of math behind our pro-forma that I don't want to confuse you with...so let me skip ahead and just show you the bottom line and you can use that extra time to get us some sandwiches."   

Poetry.  Brilliant. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. 

#8663

I've mentioned before that I share an office with another guy. He called in on my day off and they stuck some random new guy in his place. I come in today look around and my fucking insulated coffee cup is missing. It's not a big office and I figure it out pretty quick. New guy happens to be working today so I call him and ask WTF is my coffee cup? He replied "That was yours? I thought it was mine and I lost it." I asked him if his name was written on the bottom. "I didn't look." Well take a peek and tell me what it says. "RPM. Hmm, I'll get it to you tomorrow." No, you'll get off your ass and bring it to me right fucking now and keep your hands off my shit in my office.

#8664

Calm down, Milton.  

#8665

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

#8666
Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 
I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

Shouldn’t matter since ketchup is used for French fries and not for burgers or hot dogs etc
#8667
38 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


Shouldn’t matter since ketchup is used for French fries and not for burgers or hot dogs etc

Another trivial thing that makes me surly.... When someone gives a fuck what condiments another puts on their food. 

#8668
1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Calm down, Milton.  

Fuck that. It's a $20 coffee mug.

50 minutes ago, pops said:

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

I'll one up this. Pump bulk condiment dispensers. You get an ocean of ketchup/mustard instead of a squirt. You try to do it slow and the damned thing won't pump.

#8669

I’ll be happy to sign off on this expense report RPM.   But I will have to see this mug. 

#8670
1 hour ago, pops said:

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

I can't say I've encountered that with Heinz ketchup bottles but I don't use ketchup much and when I do I'm just squirting out a big puddle in which to dip French fries.

I just checked my bottle of Heinz ketchup in the fridge. Nope, it doesn't have that issue. It has a small nozzle and a narrow stream that's easy to control. (It's also very nearly full and probably hasn't been used more than once. I'm not sure how old it is but I'm confident it's less than a year old.)

I have encountered that with mustard bottles, though, both Heinz and French's. I had a bottle of Heinz Spicy Brown Mustard with a wide nozzle and four little quarter-circle plastic flaps that forced you to squeeze the bottle really hard just to get the contents past that barrier. So I know what you're talking about. 

Also, the nozzle on a squeeze bottle of Zatarain's Creole Mustard is too wide and the contents flow too freely. That's the opposite effect where you have to be careful not to squeeze hard at all. 

#8672

The pre-mustard fluid that comes out of the squeeze bottle before the real mustard. 

#8673

people getting their asses kicked by condiments.

Are you fucking kidding me?

#8674
46 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I'm still processing the no ketchup on Burgers post...  Hot dogs ?  No fucking way.  Burgers ?  Hell yeah.

That's what the tomato is for.  You probably put ketchup on your pizza, too.  

#8675
13 minutes ago, Lobo said:

That's what the tomato is for.  You probably put ketchup on your pizza, too.  

Yeah, I'll just ignore  this cause as both comments are wrong.

#8677
10 minutes ago, happyhookem said:

 

Mustard pre-cum?

Pre-tard.  In Chicago, that's what we call people who put ketchup on their hot dogs.  

#8679
Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 
I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 
Give me this all day looking over Hunt's. Went to a diner today where that's all they had. It literally just flowed out by turning the bottle over.
#8680
9 hours ago, DCA_HORN said:
13 hours ago, pops said:
Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 
I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

Give me this all day looking over Hunt's. Went to a diner today where that's all they had. It literally just flowed out by turning the bottle over.

You should’ve had the diner page Mike Hunt so you could complain. 

#8681
13 hours ago, pops said:

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

yhst-59118648745518_2272_144141815

#8682
11 hours ago, Lobo said:

That's what the tomato is for.  You probably put ketchup on your pizza, too.  

Whataburger spicy ketchup >>>>> tomato.

#8683
4 minutes ago, VolenteHawk said:

Whataburger spicy ketchup >>>>> tomato.

Don't know about the Whatabugrer spicy ketchup, but you can usually count on ketchup being the same flavor, and actually having flavor. Ya can't count on a fucking tomato outside of about 3 moths a year.

Ketchup in a burger is as American as ketchup on meatloaf, and ice cream on apple pie.

#8684
On 2/22/2020 at 11:06 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So mansplaining is using tone when answering stupid questions from females using simple words they can understand

Yeah...I get in trouble for this at home all the time.

Driving home on a roadtrip yesterday, and I had driven 2/3 of way home after sleeping only 3 hours night before.  I had told her in the next toen we needed to turn left before the railroad tracks and that the signs sucked, but TURN BEFORE THE TRACKS.  I’m reading on my Ipad and we go over the tracks. ‘ You missed your turn.”

”Why didn’t you tell me?”

’I did’

 

Lolz. Silence for the next 30min... enjoyable and LOLz at the same time.

#8686
14 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I can't say I've encountered that with Heinz ketchup bottles but I don't use ketchup much and when I do I'm just squirting out a big puddle in which to dip French fries.

I just checked my bottle of Heinz ketchup in the fridge. Nope, it doesn't have that issue. It has a small nozzle and a narrow stream that's easy to control. (It's also very nearly full and probably hasn't been used more than once. I'm not sure how old it is but I'm confident it's less than a year old.)

I have encountered that with mustard bottles, though, both Heinz and French's. I had a bottle of Heinz Spicy Brown Mustard with a wide nozzle and four little quarter-circle plastic flaps that forced you to squeeze the bottle really hard just to get the contents past that barrier. So I know what you're talking about. 

Also, the nozzle on a squeeze bottle of Zatarain's Creole Mustard is too wide and the contents flow too freely. That's the opposite effect where you have to be careful not to squeeze hard at all. 

Fail !

Ketchup has no business in the fridge....EVER !

 

#8687
14 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I can't say I've encountered that with Heinz ketchup bottles but I don't use ketchup much and when I do I'm just squirting out a big puddle in which to dip French fries.

I just checked my bottle of Heinz ketchup in the fridge. Nope, it doesn't have that issue. It has a small nozzle and a narrow stream that's easy to control. (It's also very nearly full and probably hasn't been used more than once. I'm not sure how old it is but I'm confident it's less than a year old.)

I have encountered that with mustard bottles, though, both Heinz and French's. I had a bottle of Heinz Spicy Brown Mustard with a wide nozzle and four little quarter-circle plastic flaps that forced you to squeeze the bottle really hard just to get the contents past that barrier. So I know what you're talking about. 

Also, the nozzle on a squeeze bottle of Zatarain's Creole Mustard is too wide and the contents flow too freely. That's the opposite effect where you have to be careful not to squeeze hard at all. 

Does your ketchup bottle look like this guy?

Image result for hank hill has a narrow urethra

#8688
1 hour ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Fail !

Ketchup has no business in the fridge....EVER !

As infrequently as I use it, it does. 

  • Author
#8689
On 2/23/2020 at 3:59 PM, pops said:

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

this looks like a squeeze bottle:

e1f98e89-5997-45f3-b8fb-ac97bfc51e4a-1-4

it's not.  squeezed it with slightly wet hands and the thing shot across the kitchen, breaking on the floor, getting sauce all over

Edited by elfenix
rehost image

#8690
8 minutes ago, elfenix said:

this looks like a squeeze bottle:

e1f98e89-5997-45f3-b8fb-ac97bfc51e4a_1.4

 

it's not.  squeezed it with slightly wet hands and the thing shot across the kitchen, breaking on the floor, getting sauce all over

Ummm... well .............. ya gotta open the top thingy ...

  • Author
#8691
8 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Ummm... well .............. ya gotta open the top thingy ...

do they teach that on the second day of architecture school, or the last?

#8692
19 minutes ago, elfenix said:

squeezed it with slightly wet hands and the thing shot across the kitchen,  getting sauce all over

Image result for that's hot gif

#8693
25 minutes ago, elfenix said:

do they teach that on the second day of architecture school, or the last?

Nah, they figure you know that kind of shit before you go to A school.   

#8696
On 2/22/2020 at 3:03 PM, Lobo said:

Now, if you were so say, "Listen here Sweet-Tits, there's a lot of math behind our pro-forma that I don't want to confuse you with...so let me skip ahead and just show you the bottom line and you can use that extra time to get us some sandwiches."  Then yes, that's mansplaining.

<------ scribbling notes furiously

#8697
On 2/22/2020 at 10:49 AM, Lobo said:

Plus, you're at a Safelife repair waiting room.  If it was a doctor's office or even a barber shop, I'd say he was outta line.  But it's a Safe-Lite, the JGiffy Lube of windshield repair.

FIFY

#8699
53 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Giffy - Is that a hard or soft G? 

It’s an “h” sound as in Spanish “Girasol”

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