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#8901
On 4/12/2020 at 8:56 AM, HRSchenker said:

Maybe I've worked with women way too long but if I send someone an email and they begin their response with "Hi [first name]!" I get incredibly pissed. That's what women do when they want to be condescending and arrogant but can't let their bitchy voice do all of the heavy lifting.

How would you prefer one responds to emails?  Dear sir?  Salutations?  Ahoy hoy?

Edited by Biff Tannen

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#8902
7 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

How would you prefer one responds to emails?  Dear sir?  Salutations?  Ahoy hoy?

"Hey Mother Fucker"

#8903
31 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

How would you prefer one responds to emails?  Dear sir?  Salutations?  Ahoy hoy?

I like @SHOOTER12's answer but just get to the damn point. Type the email out and remove the condescending greeting.

#8907
12 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Hi is condescending ?  

In context it absolutely is condescending. I've worked with enough women to know when to hit delete on an email that begins like that.

#8908
On 4/14/2020 at 8:04 AM, HRSchenker said:

In context it absolutely is condescending. I've worked with enough women to know when to hit delete on an email that begins like that.

yeah, you are fucking high if this is your thinking

#8910

I know it has been covered....but fuck any asshole who uses a speaker in public instead of headphones.  WTF.  No one wants to hear your shitty fucking music.  Get the China Virus and DIAF

#8912
1 hour ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

When did fortune cookies stop containing fortunes? Now it's just a cliche cookie.

They're advice cookies. 

#8913
3 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

They're advice cookies. 

Ancient Chinese secret.

#8914
15 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

I know it has been covered....but fuck any asshole who uses a speaker in public instead of headphones.  WTF.  No one wants to hear your shitty fucking music.  Get the China Virus and DIAF

Ha.  Husband and wife neighbors biking past my house just this past Tuesday had Marilyn Manson The Beautiful People blaring on some portable speaker.  I was LOUD.

WTF??

#8915
1 hour ago, deadshank said:

Ha.  Husband and wife neighbors biking past my house just this past Tuesday had Marilyn Manson The Beautiful People blaring on some portable speaker.  I was LOUD.

WTF??

Evidently the poors, ie; people that listen to MM, cannot afford Bluetooth headphones.

#8916
17 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

I know it has been covered....but fuck any asshole who uses a speaker in public instead of headphones.  WTF.  No one wants to hear your shitty fucking music.  Get the China Virus and DIAF

Drives me crazy. 

#8917

"Our primary focus at X corporation is the health and safety of our customers'.

Bullshit. Your primary focus is making money to stay in business. At least it should be, anyway.

  • Author
#8918

the increasing number of names for small, easy to peel citrus.  mandarin wasn't cute enough so they went with clementine, which also wasn't cute enough so they came up with cuties, then halos when the two companies that used the cuties brand split, and now everyone has their own goddamn brand name for a sack of mandarins. 

 

 

(and before you @me, i know that mandarin is one of the original citrus, clementine is a hybrid of a mandarin and another citrus, and there's several other hybrids that are also sold as mandarins or clementines depending on the season and orchard, which only a botanist would care about because they're all pretty much the same culinarily)

Edited by elfenix

#8919
6 minutes ago, elfenix said:

...because they're all pretty much the same culinarily)

Aren’t you the cunning linguist. 

  • Author
#8920
1 minute ago, nnm said:

Aren’t you the cunning linguist. 

your mom certainly thinks so

#8923
On 4/17/2020 at 5:22 PM, elfenix said:

the increasing number of names for small, easy to peel citrus.  mandarin wasn't cute enough so they went with clementine, which also wasn't cute enough so they came up with cuties, then halos when the two companies that used the cuties brand split, and now everyone has their own goddamn brand name for a sack of mandarins. 

 

 

(and before you @me, i know that mandarin is one of the original citrus, clementine is a hybrid of a mandarin and another citrus, and there's several other hybrids that are also sold as mandarins or clementines depending on the season and orchard, which only a botanist would care about because they're all pretty much the same culinarily)

I thought it was just different company names like Sunkist, Dole, etc.

#8924

is anyone else just nauseated by the preface "in these trying times" "in this time of covid" "in times such as these"

 

motherfucker unless you live under a rock on the surface of mars, errbody knows what time it is

#8925
3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

is anyone else just nauseated by the preface "in these trying times" "in this time of covid" "in times such as these"

 

motherfucker unless you live under a rock on the surface of mars, errbody knows what time it is

Of course we do ..it's hammer ti... no wait it's 1999... no wait that isn't it either...

#8926
On 4/16/2020 at 2:30 PM, ChickenSandwich said:

I know it has been covered....but fuck any asshole who uses a speaker in public instead of headphones.  WTF.  No one wants to hear your shitty fucking music.  Get the China Virus and DIAF

Too much to FIFY, but it’s even worse when you’re walking through the grocery and some fuckface is talking on their speaker phone with their mom or some shit, all loud and obnoxious and not paying attention to where they’re going 

#8927
5 hours ago, 52-80 said:

is anyone else just nauseated by the preface "in these trying times" "in this time of covid" "in times such as these"

motherfucker unless you live under a rock on the surface of mars, errbody knows what time it is

Happy 4/20!

#8928

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

#8929
12 minutes ago, nnm said:

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000Z5E4IE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I put these up to get rid of them.

#8930

When you've got one of those rock-hard and semi-jagged BB shaped boogers at the top of your nostril, and instead of coming out quickly and quietly, it retreats into that little secret trapdoor that feels like a direct connection into the depths of your brain and then makes you fight like you're reeling in a fucking marlin. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

#8931
On 4/20/2020 at 11:44 AM, nnm said:

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

Spray some bleach on those areas before the start to nest.

They will not come after that.

#8933

Those little yellow stickmen holding the orange flag does not give you and your bike riding kids the right to take over the entire street while I'm trying to drive on it.

#8935
20 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

Those little yellow stickmen holding the orange flag does not give you and your bike riding kids the right to take over the entire street while I'm trying to drive on it.

That stickman looks like such a fucking simpleton, too. 

#8936
On 4/20/2020 at 11:44 AM, nnm said:

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

Paint the porch ceiling sky blue and they won't come back. They think it is open sky. We did it and it worked for us. We first hung the plastic owls and they built nest on the Owls head. I kid you not.

 

#8937
1 hour ago, Alex Karev said:

Paint the porch ceiling sky blue and they won't come back. They think it is open sky. We did it and it worked for us. We first hung the plastic owls and they built nest on the Owls head. I kid you not.

 

Haint blue.  My front porch is the same way.  No mud daubers, no bugs, all clean all the time.  

#8938
1 hour ago, Lat22 said:

Those little yellow stickmen holding the orange flag does not give you and your bike riding kids the right to take over the entire street while I'm trying to drive on it.

They're tortoises, you dummy.

And you have two of them on opposing sides of your street.  I laugh at them everytime I walk my dogs down your street in the morning.

Gonna relocate them to your driveway while your hugging your pillow.

#8940
2 hours ago, deadshank said:

They're tortoises, you dummy.

And you have two of them on opposing sides of your street.  I laugh at them everytime I walk my dogs down your street in the morning.

Gonna relocate them to your driveway while your hugging your pillow.

You've never noticed the green laser dot have you?

I just drove down the street and two of the three stick men are laying on their sides. 

Edited by Lat22

#8941

Why the fuck doesn't anyone seem to make a really lightweight, low-impact, no-BS free antivirus program. Over the years I've been through AVG, Bitdefender, and now Kaspersky Free and they inevitably decide that their shit needs a bunch of extra modules and "features" I don't want, and past a certain point you're forced to accept it because they won't release virus database updates unless you update the core application to the bloated version.

 

#8942
11 minutes ago, Paper_jam said:

Why the fuck doesn't anyone seem to make a really lightweight, low-impact, no-BS free antivirus program. Over the years I've been through AVG, Bitdefender, and now Kaspersky Free and they inevitably decide that their shit needs a bunch of extra modules and "features" I don't want, and past a certain point you're forced to accept it because they won't release virus database updates unless you update the core application to the bloated version.

 

Have you tried Malwarebytes?

#8943
On 4/20/2020 at 6:54 AM, Trey3216 said:

Too much to FIFY, but it’s even worse when you’re walking through the grocery and some fuckface is talking on their speaker phone with their mom or some shit, all loud and obnoxious and not paying attention to where they’re going 

You've met my wife?

  • Author
#8944

when you've already watched one several minute long ad on youtube because they've got to make money somehow and it queues up another right behind it.  fuck that.  i already sat through motley fool trying to sell me an electric car pyramid scheme, i don't need your fucking douchebag jumprope too

#8945
Have you tried Malwarebytes?


This is the correct answer. Once I enabled Windows Defender and put Malwarebytes on my parents’ computer, they’ve managed not to fuck it up for the past several years.

Before that I would have to wipe their hard drive once or twice a year because it was unusable with all the malware. They’re olds that click on every link they are sent.
#8946

We had birds trying to nest over our front door. A realistic looking rubber snek did the job. 

Edited by NorthLoop

#8947
On 4/22/2020 at 7:51 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

Spray some bleach on those areas before the start to nest.

They will not come after that.

Take it to the fucking CR!!!!

 

Oh wait. NM.

#8949

The whole giving and accepting money between friends.  Whether you are giving and the party does not want to accept, or receiving money that you do not want to accept.  

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