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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#9802
99 times out of a hundred the book is better.  Exceptions:
Deliverance.
The old man and the sea
Last of the Mohicans
Forest Gump
#9803
8 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

It's almost as if trying to condense 3,000 pages of character development into a 1:45 film takes something away from it. Shocking, I know.

People always overlook this; Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me don’t lose much if anything when translated to film, but they were like 130 page stories..

#9804
9 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

99 times out of a hundred the book is better.  Exceptions:

Deliverance.

The old man and the sea

Apocalypse Now >>>>>>>>>>>> Heart of Darkness

#9805
2 hours ago, nnm said:

Apocalypse Now >>>>>>>>>>>> Heart of Darkness

Conrad is a wordy motherfucker, I'll say that for him. Not in a bad way really but gotdamn he does love him some words.

#9806
57 minutes ago, nnm said:

Apocalypse Now >>>>>>>>>>>> Heart of Darkness

I agree with your relative rankings, but I thought Heart of Darkness was a good read, and probably one of the few instances when it's better to see the movie first. 

#9808
12 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

99 times out of a hundred the book is better.  Exceptions:

Deliverance.

The old man and the sea

Horseshit. Deliverance is quite possibly THE Great American Novel. The Old Man and the Sea won both the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Read ‘em again, man!

#9809
6 minutes ago, Horn Draoi said:

Horseshit. Deliverance is quite possibly THE Great American Novel. The Old Man and the Sea won both the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Read ‘em again, man!

I have, and the movies capture the feeling, and themes in a more visceral way than the books, especially Deliverance (IMO).  

Pssst the great American novel is The Great Gatsby of course.

#9810
21 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I have, and the movies capture the feeling, and themes in a more visceral way than the books, especially Deliverance (IMO).  

Pssst the great American novel is The Great Gatsby of course.

I thought it was To Kill a Mockingbird. 

Written by Kurt Cobain, of course. 

#9811

You know what really grinds my gears?

How most "fitted" bed sheets are now made for mattresses > 15" thick deep.  Now I have to use bedsheet grippers to keep the sheet taut. It's a collusion between the bedsheet makers and the bedsheet grippers I tell you. 

 

#9812
4 hours ago, Superhero said:

You know what really grinds my gears?

How most "fitted" bed sheets are now made for mattresses > 15" thick deep.  Now I have to use bedsheet grippers to keep the sheet taut. It's a collusion between the bedsheet makers and the bedsheet grippers I tell you. 

 

so you make your wife/ SO hold the sheets down?

#9813
6 hours ago, Superhero said:

You know what really grinds my gears?

How most "fitted" bed sheets are now made for mattresses > 15" thick deep.  Now I have to use bedsheet grippers to keep the sheet taut. It's a collusion between the bedsheet makers and the bedsheet grippers I tell you. 

 

bro upgrade your tatami mats

#9814
On 9/19/2020 at 7:27 AM, Knoxtnhorn said:

Not only that, but the slate of games this week... ugh.

You weren't lying about that.  I turned on the TV Saturday afternoon, scanned the listings for about 30 seconds and said fuck it, turned it off.

#9815
On 9/20/2020 at 10:50 AM, Brisketexan said:


Wait....you drink two POTS of coffee a day?

Dude....that’s an insane amount of caffeine.

Shit, when I got up to 4-5 cups a day, I realized it was a bit much, dialed it back to 2-4 cups. Maybe try mixing in some water?

 

#9816

 

I might have already posted this, but it happened again at lunch-- when the cashier hands you your change with the coins stacked on top of the bills so that you have to grab it all at once. Is it really that hard to hand me the coins first, let me drop those in my pocket, and then hand me the bills so I can put those in my money clip?

Or even better, count that shit back to me.

 

Or, in the new days of covid, slide it across the counter and let me pick it up so I don't accidentally touch your filthy hand.

#9818
36 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

I might have already posted this, but it happened again at lunch-- when the cashier hands you your change with the coins stacked on top of the bills so that you have to grab it all at once. Is it really that hard to hand me the coins first, let me drop those in my pocket, and then hand me the bills so I can put those in my money clip?

Or even better, count that shit back to me.

 

Or, in the new days of covid, slide it across the counter and let me pick it up so I don't accidentally touch your filthy hand.

Bills, change, and the receipt all in one sloppy pile.  Pisses me off to the point of triviality, and that's annoying...

#9819

Surly high rollers don't even expect the change...

#9820
20 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Bills, change, and the receipt all in one sloppy pile.  Pisses me off to the point of triviality, and that's annoying...

If the person in line behind you seems like an asshole anyway, just stand at the register and take your time putting all your shit where it goes. Maybe they'll eventually get the hint if enough people do this... 

#9821
2 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

If the person in line behind you seems like an asshole anyway, just stand at the register and take your time putting all your shit where it goes. Maybe they'll eventually get the hint if enough people do this... 

Yeah, I hear ya. I just never want to add to the clusterfuck if at all possible.

#9823
1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

I might have already posted this, but it happened again at lunch-- when the cashier hands you your change with the coins stacked on top of the bills so that you have to grab it all at once. Is it really that hard to hand me the coins first, let me drop those in my pocket, and then hand me the bills so I can put those in my money clip?

Or even better, count that shit back to me.

 

Or, in the new days of covid, slide it across the counter and let me pick it up so I don't accidentally touch your filthy hand.

You're using cash?  You poor luddite.

#9824
11 minutes ago, DallasHorn26 said:

There is horrible cell reception in my office and no wi-fi available. Makes it very difficult to browse surly from the shitter.

Quit your job

#9826
16 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I have, and the movies capture the feeling, and themes in a more visceral way than the books, especially Deliverance (IMO).  

Pssst the great American novel is The Great Gatsby of course.

 

16 hours ago, ztejas said:

I thought it was To Kill a Mockingbird. 

Written by Kurt Cobain, of course. 

All the King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren in second place, ahead of “Gatsby;”  Southern writers just do better.  “Mockingbird” for honorable mention.  Why do I love headcase, alcoholic Southern writers so? (Now avoiding mirrors........)

#9827

Do you even National Coin Shortage, bro?  

#9828
2 hours ago, DallasHorn26 said:

There is horrible cell reception in my office and no wi-fi available. Makes it very difficult to browse surly from the shitter.

Do you work at a damn prison?  

#9829
On 9/21/2020 at 10:01 AM, Llogg said:

Coffee mugs that have a handle that becomes their hottest part in the microwave.

If that's the case it might not be microwave safe.

#9830

Half-ass passers. Wanna get right next to me, then ALMOST pass me for a full fifteen minutes. Fuck you. Get the fuck around me, or get the fuck away from me. Ain't nobody got time for your shit, asshole.

#9832
4 hours ago, Lobo said:

Do you even National Coin Shortage, bro?  

Kroger does. The self checkout lane is the only place they'll give you coins in change. 

#9834
3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

The so called “national coin shortage” was created by the feds as an excuse to eliminate the use of cash. Can’t have the sheep using payment methods that can’t be traced.

Wrong. The CIA will always need to use cash. 

#9836
My VA doc is a female. I have to ask her to do a prostate check. 


How much does she charge? Asking for a friend.
  • Author
#9837

The closed captioning on prime video is displaying tagalog, even though it is set to english. Must have been hit by a cosmic raydog or some shit.

#9838
On 9/23/2020 at 9:04 PM, luke duke said:

 


How much does she charge? Asking for a friend.

3 fingers

#9839
On 9/22/2020 at 5:48 PM, El Diablo said:

My VA doc is a female. I have to ask her to do a prostate check. 

Now This using his alternate handle. 

#9843

The zoo.

Wife bought passes this summer.  We've been 5 times.  Same animals.  Same habitats.  Add to that more people and my SIL yapping about fucking macaroons for an hour.  And, no, I did not get autocorrected from macaw or baboons.  She really did talk about the dessert for an hour.  F's sake.

#9844

Not trivial. But I hate open offices with the passion of a hundred suns.

Only select VPs get offices, the remaining VPs, directors and little people sit in open offices.

I get my work done either when I'm working from home, or after 5PM at office after everyone leaves. 

#9846

When physics defies itself in order to fuck me over.

I'll give you an example: try to pour liquid gently from one glass into another. Not water, it's too easy to clean up. Use something like gatorade or soda-pop. The more sugar the better. 

Watch as it runs UPHILL along the side of the glass and onto the floor (or counter), making a nice mess that now needs cleaned up.

Fuck you, science. 

Edited by Deamerxt

#9847
21 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

The zoo.

Wife bought passes this summer.  We've been 5 times.  Same animals.  Same habitats.  Add to that more people and my SIL yapping about fucking macaroons for an hour.  And, no, I did not get autocorrected from macaw or baboons.  She really did talk about the dessert for an hour.  F's sake.

I went to the Knoxville Zoo about a year ago, and I found the people there to be far more fascinating than the animals. It was a riveting menagerie of obesity - all manner of exotic and rare varieties of Morbos collected in one location was definitely worth the price of admission. There is a tremendous biodiversity of fatness in east Tennessee. 

And here's a picture of the Doomlet raptly observing the ants in front of the elephant enclosure. 

 

20190824_124203.jpg

#9848
26 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I went to the Knoxville Zoo about a year ago, and I found the people there to be far more fascinating than the animals. It was a riveting menagerie of obesity - all manner of exotic and rare varieties of Morbos collected in one location was definitely worth the price of admission. There is a tremendous biodiversity of fatness in east Tennessee. 

And here's a picture of the Doomlet raptly observing the ants in front of the elephant enclosure. 

 

20190824_124203.jpg

Ha!  We had zoo passes when we lived in Knoxville as well.  The nice thing about the Knoxville Zoo is that they have a cool kids area AND a building that has some smaller exhibits and another play area.  It wasn't too bad of a thing to let the two boys run around either place for awhile while the two of us relaxed.  Plus, it was about 5 mins from our house.

My post (above) is in reference to the Dallas Zoo.  I mean, zoos are cool and all.  It' just... 5 trips in about 2 months.  

Edited by Knoxtnhorn

#9849
57 minutes ago, Deamerxt said:

When physics defies itself in order to fuck me over.

I'll give you an example: try to pour liquid gently from one glass into another. Not water, it's too easy to clean up. Use something like gatorade or soda-pop. The more sugar the better. 

Watch as it runs UPHILL along the side of the glass and onto the floor (or counter), making a nice mess that now needs cleaned up.

Fuck you, science. 

My advice, drink less.

#9850
Ha!  We had zoo passes when we lived in Knoxville as well.  The nice thing about the Knoxville Zoo is that they have a cool kids area AND a building that has some smaller exhibits and another play area.  It wasn't too bad of a thing to let the two boys run around either place for awhile while the two of us relaxed.  Plus, it was about 5 mins from our house.
My post (above) is in reference to the Dallas Zoo.  I mean, zoos are cool and all.  It' just... 5 trips in about 2 months.  

Don’t go. I don’t.

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