Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

When you're 10 minutes into the in flight movie, and it's paused because the flight attendant announces over the loudspeaker that in flight movies are provided.

Edited by HenryJames

  • Replies 21.1k
  • Views 1.4m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

The half-moon shaped ice that most refrigerators dispense from the ice maker.  Damned near impossible to get it arranged in your cup in a drink without one piece going rogue upright and poking you in the nose.  

32 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

The half-moon shaped ice that most refrigerators dispense from the ice maker.  Damned near impossible to get it arranged in your cup in a drink without one piece going rogue upright and poking you in the nose.  

Do any of them make the pure cube shaped pieces of ice? I have yet to own one or use anyone else's that make this shape. Just the half moon pieces as you mentioned.

1 minute ago, Celery Man said:

Real ice makers are expensive and break all the time, but are awesome.

I have one that makes about 200lbs. My dad found it for cheap on Craigslist years ago. But I just use that ice to ice beer down and other items. I never use it for drinks. The pieces are a little too big.

Fan apparel that come in non-team colors. Who the fuck wants a blue Ohio St shirt? Or a yellow Yankees hat? I'm a San Francisco Giants fan and I saw a guy today wearing a red Giants hat. Is he a fan or just some fashonista that wanted to be different? I was in OKC and he looked hispanic, if that makes a difference.

Order something online...wait for like a week expecting it any day now...get a notice saying your item is no longer in stock and your order has been canceled.  You really couldn’t have told me that when I ordered it?  I needed that shit in like a week.

All of these pointless "graduations" they have for kids these day in every single grade. There should be one graduation ceremony and that is to finish high school.

No, it's not a big deal that your child is moving on with the rest of their peers to the next grade. It's pretty impossible to fail these days as long as you just show up. No one gives a shit that your child is going from 3rd to 4th grade.

Big sign on door.  Please keep door closed while waiting in line

dumbasses stand in doorway letting a/c air out and heat in

Update:  manager asked offending dumbasses to please keep door closed.  Next person in line opened up door and stood in doorway, leaning on sign that says please keep door closed.  

Chucklefuck drivers who enter the freeway to avoid the light at an intersection as I am trying to exit. They sit in that lane and I am expecting them to merge into traffic. Fuck you.

1 minute ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Chucklefuck drivers who enter the freeway to avoid the light at an intersection as I am trying to exit. They sit in that lane and I am expecting them to merge into traffic. Fuck you.

Porpoising is a scourge 

16 hours ago, Sandman said:

Fan apparel that come in non-team colors. Who the fuck wants a blue Ohio St shirt? Or a yellow Yankees hat? I'm a San Francisco Giants fan and I saw a guy today wearing a red Giants hat. Is he a fan or just some fashonista that wanted to be different? I was in OKC and he looked hispanic, if that makes a difference.

Women.

3rd to 4th grade is a big moment in Ky, also the year you get your drivers license. 

 

Neighbors who don’t clean up their grass trimmings off the street after they have mowed their yard. 

1 hour ago, Jersey Man10 said:

When I turn on my rotating fan and it starts turning away from me.

Clearly the other appliances picked the fan to be the one to tell you.

"I can't even [with]..." 

 

And the semi-annual flying pet peeves:

What the hell happened to the day when people wore decent clothes when flying?  I'm not talking wearing your tux on a plane, but workout clothes and flip flops?! 

Keep your damn shoes on while the cabin doors are closed.

And there's a special place in hell for those who are abusing the "service animal" loophole so their dogs can fly free... 

All of these pointless "graduations" they have for kids these day in every single grade. There should be one graduation ceremony and that is to finish high school.
No, it's not a big deal that your child is moving on with the rest of their peers to the next grade. It's pretty impossible to fail these days as long as you just show up. No one gives a shit that your child is going from 3rd to 4th grade.

Yes this. I told my wife I wasn’t going to the kindergarten graduation. She said I was a bad parent. Didn’t argue.
5 hours ago, Jersey Man10 said:

When I turn on my rotating fan and it starts turning away from me.

Most trivial thing on either the shag or surly ever posted. Nicely done.

When you check your phone 1st thing in the morning and its too bright

People who are clueless about the difference between Sicilians and Italians.

Further, idiots who don't know the difference between northern and southern Italians.

Finally, dumbasses that don't understand that Italian food is different from Sicilian and varies greatly by region in Italy, then have the audacity to claim something is not "Authentic" Italian. 

Side note, the food issue also extends to Mexican food.

What the hell are you talking about

 

Did dago put you up to this?

Apparently he hates the north. The south will rise again! Sicialian ravioli bologna for everyone!

People who are clueless about the difference between Sicilians and Italians.
Further, idiots who don't know the difference between northern and southern Italians.
Finally, dumbasses that don't understand that Italian food is different from Sicilian and varies greatly by region in Italy, then have the audacity to claim something is not "Authentic" Italian. 
Side note, the food issue also extends to Mexican food.


You’re so right!

paulie-bann.jpg?quality=95&w=650

Would you like some gravy with your macaroni?
7 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Chucklefuck drivers who enter the freeway to avoid the light at an intersection as I am trying to exit. They sit in that lane and I am expecting them to merge into traffic. Fuck you.

Agreed. And pos rep for the word "chucklefuck".

I keep seeing various Texas themed T-shirt company ads pop up in my Instagram feed. They often use saguaro cactus imagery to represent the Texas portion of the chihuahuan desert. Saguaros are not native to the chihuahuan desert. Stop doing that, it’s annoying. Use a prickly pear or some native yucca.

3 uninals at work, the guy that chooses the middle one when nobody is in there, wtf

7 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

3 uninals at work, the guy that chooses the middle one when nobody is in there, wtf

Don't ever break The Code:

 

Choosing+the+Correct+Urinal.jpg

In a multi-floor office when some guy goes up or down a floor to take a shit. Keep it on your own floor.

13 minutes ago, HouTex said:

In a multi-floor office when some guy goes up or down a floor to take a shit. Keep it on your own floor.

Why? So he can smell it?

1 hour ago, HouTex said:

In a multi-floor office when some guy goes up or down a floor to take a shit. Keep it on your own floor.

Busted

  • Author
1 hour ago, HouTex said:

In a multi-floor office when some guy goes up or down a floor to take a shit. Keep it on your own floor.

the bathrooms on each floor of this building are different and i will go to the better one (one floor up) to do my shitting, thank you very much. 

the bathrooms on each floor of this building are different and i will go to the better one (one floor up) to do my shitting, thank you very much. 

In my case all of the restrooms on the different floors are identical.
1 hour ago, HouTex said:

In a multi-floor office when some guy goes up or down a floor to take a shit. Keep it on your own floor.

True story...we put locks on our bathrooms.  there is a usaa call center upstairs and they would murder our bathroom.  

when a floor is vacant and so you go to destroy the bathroom on that floor but someone else already had the same idea.

One section of our building is all inside sales reps, which are about 95% women. The men's bathroom over there is a glorious place to shit. 

Building I used to work in, we were on the 2nd floor, and Time Warner was on the first floor.  I used to go wreck their handicap stall daily out of pure spite.

We have 2 shitters in our office.  They are just half bathrooms inside the office.  I will not shit in there, and if my co-workers realize it then they should thank me for being considerate.  Outside of our office is another half bathroom and the other tenants are rarely here (mostly CPAs, so I assume that they only work in these offices during tax season).  Basically, what I'm saying is that I have my own private shitter. 

I usually hit the closest shitter to my office (2 stalls, 2 urinals), and the backup is the shitter a floor below (5 stalls, 3 urinals).  Depends on if they're full, and then how clean they are. 

 

Used to choose my shitter depending on where the middle eastern dude would go.  The whole wet paper towel and not holding your dick while pissing on the toilet seat made half our office ragey as hell.  But, alas, his contract came up for renewal, and they opted to terminate.

Edited by PvilleStang

This one has come up at work recently and I don’t know why it gets to me so bad... “the third leg of the stool”. I generally shrug off most meaningless business buzz speak, but this sticks in my craw

Ah, yes, the stool's dick analogy.  That person has middle management written all over them!

Look, the trade off of working on the floor with the best shitters, is that sometimes you might have to deal with carpetbaggers coming to your floor to take advantage of your pearly white toilets.  You can't have it both ways.

 

 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.