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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

#12802
12 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

For scale

How you gonna weigh it using glasses? 

#12803
14 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

If you perforate a mailed bill, make sure the fold isn't 1/2" off of the perforation. If you do, expect it to be torn like a drunk monkey did it.

Its 2021, who the fuck mails a check for a bill vs paying online?

#12804
2 minutes ago, davidg said:

Its 2021, who the fuck mails a check for a bill vs paying online?

Which leads me to my next "trivial things that make you surly": businesses that haven't gone to online bill pay. 

#12805
8 minutes ago, davidg said:

Its 2021, who the fuck mails a check for a bill vs paying online?

I’m very sorry about the loss of your parents.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

#12808
5 hours ago, Llogg said:

Why do you need a scale? It's not like it's a mattress or something.

Don't be ridiculous.  Nobody can sleep on a pair of eyeglasses.  

#12809
54 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Don't be ridiculous.  Nobody can sleep on a pair of eyeglasses.  

Is I was a little drunk still an acceptable excuse around these parts?

  • Popular Post
#12810

Commercials with a door bell. WTF? My dog goes crazy during just about every commercial break.

#12811
1 hour ago, HouTex said:

Commercials with a door bell. WTF? My dog goes crazy during just about every commercial break.

I hear that.   Absolutely annoying as shit.  

#12813
10 hours ago, HouTex said:

Commercials with a door bell. WTF? My dog goes crazy during just about every commercial break.

Commercials in general.  Over 50% seem to feature someone screaming and acting like an idiot.  

I have worn the paint off of the mute button on my remote control.  

#12814
13 hours ago, HouTex said:

Commercials with a door bell. WTF? My dog goes crazy during just about every commercial break.

Yep.  In one of the last couple of election cycles, there was a candidate who had a doorbell ringing throughout the :30 spot.  My dog took it as go-time. 

#12815
10 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Yep.  In one of the last couple of election cycles, there was a candidate who had a doorbell ringing throughout the :30 spot.  My dog took it as go-time. 

Talk about an unforced error with a substantial section of the voting population. I have to assume (and hope) that the candidate lost. 

#12816
8 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Talk about an unforced error with a substantial section of the voting population. I have to assume (and hope) that the candidate lost. 

No clue, can't recall who it was.  Just glad it's not on anymore. 

#12817

Work for a pretty large company and someone sent an email to what I can only imagine is the entire fucking company distribution list. Instead of everyone reading it and just moving on with their day I’m up to 200+ “Replay All” emails saying they didn’t need to be on the list.

What’s worse? There’s another 100 “please don’t hit reply all”.

Innanet is hard.

#12819
1 hour ago, Fudbelty said:

Work for a pretty large company and someone sent an email to what I can only imagine is the entire fucking company distribution list. Instead of everyone reading it and just moving on with their day I’m up to 200+ “Replay All” emails saying they didn’t need to be on the list.

What’s worse? There’s another 100 “please don’t hit reply all”.

Innanet is hard.

When I first started working for CompuServe, I meant to send an email to my dept. but accidentally addressed it to “All” which would make it company-wide. Fortunately they had a function where you could go to a command line interface and issue a command to delete the message so that anyone who hadn’t read it already would never see it. I never received a single reply.

That was such a cool place to work. 

#12820
8 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

Work for a pretty large company and someone sent an email to what I can only imagine is the entire fucking company distribution list. Instead of everyone reading it and just moving on with their day I’m up to 200+ “Replay All” emails saying they didn’t need to be on the list.

What’s worse? There’s another 100 “please don’t hit reply all”.

Innanet is hard.

 

level 10 trolling opportunity

 

#12821
6 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

When I first started working for CompuServe, I meant to send an email to my dept. but accidentally addressed it to “All” which would make it company-wide. Fortunately they had a function where you could go to a command line interface and issue a command to delete the message so that anyone who hadn’t read it already would never see it. I never received a single reply.

That was such a cool place to work. 

I spent many a late night playing Megawar on CompuServe on my Apple II+.

#12822
1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

level 10 trolling opportunity

<guilty> I've definitely joined a few Reply All trains just to keep the party going.

#12823
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I spent many a late night playing Megawar on CompuServe on my Apple II+.

That probably cost a pretty penny. Their greatest flaw was that they grossly overcharged for their service. And they knew it. 

#12824
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I spent many a late night playing Megawar on CompuServe on my Apple II+.

Well that was a Wikipedia rabbit hole.

#12825

Not trivial, but need to vent.  Almost 2000 acres burned up because some absolute selfish prick throws a cig butt out the window with 40-50mph winds and very dry conditions. Median catches fire and then with winds like that, it's rolling across the prairie grass like kindling.

I drove by it on the south bound side as the first trucks arrived.  They closed north bound traffic because of the grass in the median burning.

https://www.myhighplains.com/news/local-news/grass-fire-south-of-dumas-closes-us-287/

#12826
17 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Goddamn project managers with supposedly 15 years in the industry that can not (or will not) read a goddamn project schedule. Stop being fucking lazy.

Welcome back, Patty. 

#12827

Not sure this is the best thread, as it's not exactly trivial, and not applicable to me personally, but I know several people currently on the job hunt (including my wife), and it seems like every single professional accounting/finance/fp&a job that gets posted wants somebody with 3-7 years of experience, no more or less, unless it's an executive-level position that requires 15-20 years in a similar role. Basically, they want someone they're not going to have to train, but not anyone too experienced b/c they'll cost too much. Oh, and they also want CPA and/or MBA, prior Big 4 experience, and several years in their specific industry.

I guess it's a good market out there for the 26-31 crowd, but I know a lot of folks 35-45 that keep striking out repeatedly despite having stellar credentials. When they even get interviews it's like "wow, this is really impressive, why do you wan't to do this job again?" Clearly "because I need to work and make money and I can definitely handle this job" is not an acceptable answer. 

Also, I've seen numerous positions that get re-posted multiple times over the course of 6+ months and each time it has upwards of 100+ applicants. You're telling me they haven't found one single hire-worthy individual that whole time?

 

#12828

DJ’s. Those no talent ass clowns and the crowds that go to see them make me surly. Learn to ply an instrument. Write a song.

#12829
On 10/26/2021 at 1:44 PM, Patricio Swayze said:

Goddamn project managers with supposedly 15 years in the industry that can not (or will not) read a goddamn project schedule. Stop being fucking lazy.

Hey now. The schedule is what I say it is.  Insert cost before some controller wants to  pop off. 

#12830
1 hour ago, Hate said:

DJ’s. Those no talent ass clowns and the crowds that go to see them make me surly. Learn to ply an instrument. Write a song.

While I partially agree regarding the second half of your comment (live performances/concerts), I totally disagree with "no talent."

#12831
9 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

While I partially agree regarding the second half of your comment (live performances/concerts), I totally disagree with "no talent."

No, he's right.

#12832
Work for a pretty large company and someone sent an email to what I can only imagine is the entire fucking company distribution list. Instead of everyone reading it and just moving on with their day I’m up to 200+ “Replay All” emails saying they didn’t need to be on the list.

What’s worse? There’s another 100 “please don’t hit reply all”.

Innanet is hard.

Our email finally leveled out yesterday afternoon.

Final numbers
Original email was to over 100k email addresses

500+ reply all emails also went out

That’s a lot of emails.
#12834
12 hours ago, Hate said:

DJ’s. Those no talent ass clowns and the crowds that go to see them make me surly. Learn to ply an instrument. Write a song.

This right here.....also the no talent ass clown rappers.

Rap suck ass.

#12838

I help coach my son’s soccer team. I have no qualifications other than I have a loud voice and don’t put up with any shit.

My friend’s kid is unfortunately on the same team. He fucks around and I put up with it because I don’t care. BUT, he likes to kick other peoples’ balls away and make them chase after it.

He did that to the coach who’s team was playing next to us.

I fucking lost and yelled at him, calling him a brat, and told him he better go look the other coach in the eye and apologize.

His mom texted my friend, who then texted me to be more gentle on their kid.

Our families are pretty close, but every time I see him, I just want to hold his head underwater until the bubbles stop. 

#12839
25 minutes ago, Superhero said:

I help coach my son’s soccer team. I have no qualifications other than I have a loud voice and don’t put up with any shit.

My friend’s kid is unfortunately on the same team. He fucks around and I put up with it because I don’t care. BUT, he likes to kick other peoples’ balls away and make them chase after it.

He did that to the coach who’s team was playing next to us.

I fucking lost and yelled at him, calling him a brat, and told him he better go look the other coach in the eye and apologize.

His mom texted my friend, who then texted me to be more gentle on their kid.

Our families are pretty close, but every time I see him, I just want to hold his head underwater until the bubbles stop. 

You could tell your friend to teach his kid some fucking manners. Or get his fat fucking ass down there to help you coach. Or just fuck off, in general. 
 

 

#12840
31 minutes ago, Superhero said:

I help coach my son’s soccer team. I have no qualifications other than I have a loud voice and don’t put up with any shit.

My friend’s kid is unfortunately on the same team. He fucks around and I put up with it because I don’t care. BUT, he likes to kick other peoples’ balls away and make them chase after it.

He did that to the coach who’s team was playing next to us.

I fucking lost and yelled at him, calling him a brat, and told him he better go look the other coach in the eye and apologize.

His mom texted my friend, who then texted me to be more gentle on their kid.

Our families are pretty close, but every time I see him, I just want to hold his head underwater until the bubbles stop. 

You had me until the last clause. Wow. 

#12841
3 hours ago, Superhero said:

I help coach my son’s soccer team. I have no qualifications other than I have a loud voice and don’t put up with any shit.

My friend’s kid is unfortunately on the same team. He fucks around and I put up with it because I don’t care. BUT, he likes to kick other peoples’ balls away and make them chase after it.

He did that to the coach who’s team was playing next to us.

I fucking lost and yelled at him, calling him a brat, and told him he better go look the other coach in the eye and apologize.

His mom texted my friend, who then texted me to be more gentle on their kid.

Our families are pretty close, but every time I see him, I just want to hold his head underwater until the bubbles stop. 

That would be mom and dad you wanna hold down until the bubbles stop.  The kid is a reflection of them.

#12843
24 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Fuck the Monster Mash in the goatass. 

Why?  I mean it’s a graveyard smash and what not.  

#12846
12 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Dickheads who hand out Jesus propaganda with Halloween candy. Fuck off you fucking fuck.

Ya know what’s worse ? Dentists handing out toothbrushes and toothpaste 

#12847

Dickheads who hand out chocolate chip cookies instead of candy. I'm looking for a Reese's, Twix or Nerds when I raid my kid's candy bucket. Not your shitty overbaked Pillsbury nonsense.

#12848
5 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Ya know what’s worse ? Dentists handing out toothbrushes and toothpaste 

Yep.  Prominent DDS in town where I grew up did this BS.   

So when I went in to his office to get fitted for braces, the night before  I had extra garlic and onions on my linguine.  
 

Fixed him right up. 

#12850
11 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So you pissed off the guy spending a couple of hours digging around in your mouth with sharp instruments?  Did you also piss on the urologist while he was performing your vasectomy?

He started it.  

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