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#12851
1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Ya know what’s worse ? Dentists handing out toothbrushes and toothpaste 

Life lesson.  You learn to skip that house after a year or two as a kid.

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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#12852
6 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

Life lesson.  You learn to skip that house after a year or two as a kid.

Parents: Why didn't you get a toothbrush this year? Fuck!

#12853
2 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Ya know what’s worse ? Dentists handing out toothbrushes and toothpaste 

It's the responsibility of the older kids in the neighborhood to make sure that toothbrushes get jabbed into the lawn, and toothpaste gets squeezed onto the driveway at the end of the night. 

#12855
30 minutes ago, Colonel Sanders said:

Trying to cut plastic wrap using the serrated edge on the outside of the box.

Hell is nothing but using Saran Wrap and untangling wire coat hangers. 

#12857
2 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

and opening toy packaging

And being married to a stripper. 

#12859
7 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Local radio station has already started with the Christmas music…. I want to burn them down. 

Fuck, walked in to Lowe’s Monday, and was assaulted by a forest of Christmas trees.  Not even fucking thanksgiving yet !!!

#12862
On 10/26/2021 at 3:42 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

When I first started working for CompuServe, I meant to send an email to my dept. but accidentally addressed it to “All” which would make it company-wide. Fortunately they had a function where you could go to a command line interface and issue a command to delete the message so that anyone who hadn’t read it already would never see it. I never received a single reply.

That was such a cool place to work. 

The glory of the VMS mail, pre Exchange/Outlook days…

#12863

Buying 9 separate and very specific to-go lunches from Luby’s.  Holding up the entire line. 
 

She pays for each lunch separately to ensure each order gets its own correct change.   
 

Lawdy lawdy. 

19F179DD-2EFE-45EC-8627-A31EEE0F7F5C.jpeg

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#12866
2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Buying 9 separate and very specific to-go lunches from Luby’s.  Holding up the entire line. 
 

She pays for each lunch separately to ensure each order gets its own correct change.   
 

Lawdy lawdy. 

19F179DD-2EFE-45EC-8627-A31EEE0F7F5C.jpeg

30D6D88D-42E9-4DAB-90A6-AD680F78973D.jpeg

Yeah she's eating 'em all. The each separate order thing is just a red herring.

#12868
On 11/2/2021 at 3:03 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

Fuck, walked in to Lowe’s Monday, and was assaulted by a forest of Christmas trees.  Not even fucking thanksgiving yet !!!

The Lowes in Nastydouches was putting out some Christmas stuff before November.

 

#12870

Saw a guy run over a squirrel without as much as tapping his breaks this morning.  Saw it coming a mile away and he had plenty of room to avoid it. Mother fucker.

#12871
7 minutes ago, troph said:

Saw a guy run over a squirrel without as much as tapping his breaks this morning.  Saw it coming a mile away and he had plenty of room to avoid it. Mother fucker.

Fuck those people. Psychopaths. 

#12872
Just now, Cheeseweasel said:

Fuck those people. Psychopaths. 

I almost followed him, I did honk. I wanted to yell at him like a psycho bitch.  But then I realized he’d post about it here or kill me, neither of which I wanted. 

#12874
9 minutes ago, troph said:

Saw a guy run over a squirrel without as much as tapping his breaks this morning.  Saw it coming a mile away and he had plenty of room to avoid it. Mother fucker.

If it was the same squirrel who constantly eats the cushions on my patio furniture I have no problem with it.  Any other well behaved squirrel and he’s an asshole

#12876

Don't know the exact circumstances, but if there's any question between my safety and that of a critter, the critter loses every time.  In other words, if the road conditions mean that there's the slightest possibility of my losing control to avoid the critter, then I'm proceeding with critter euthanasia.  

I will brake, if possible and safe, and turn, if possible and safe, but if it's on a curve, or wet/slick roads, or oncoming traffic will be forced to take evasive action, or I might slip off a shoulder into a ditch, etc., etc., then bye bye critter.  

#12878

Being blocked on Twitter by someone you've never spoken to at all. I've noticed this trend lately and it's so damn annoying. At one point I was blocked by Pecan Lodge and my one and only tweet to them was bragging about their beef rib.

#12880
3 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

You can turn right on a red light you dumb fucks.

yeah...and you can also turn left on red from a one-way street onto another one-way street...you double dumb fucks!

#12881
2 hours ago, Hpara759 said:

yeah...and you can also turn left on red from a one-way street onto another one-way street...you double dumb fucks!

I'll bet you just blew some minds.......

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#12882
3 hours ago, Hpara759 said:

yeah...and you can also turn left on red from a one-way street onto another one-way street...you double dumb fucks!

ballers do it from the right lane.

#12883

The next person I see who completely ignores the dotted line guiding your path from double left turn lanes is getting cunt punched.

#12884

There's a triple lane left turn real near my house.  I've learned to avoid the middle turn lane at all costs.  I've driven in numerous shit hole countries and Houston has by far the worst drivers I've encountered

#12885
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

There's a triple lane left turn real near my house.  I've learned to avoid the middle turn lane at all costs.  I've driven in numerous shit hole countries and Houston has by far the worst drivers I've encountered

Because all of the people from those crap hole countries moved to Houston and amalgamate their horrible driving habits. 
Driving in Caracas is terrifying until you figure out that everyone is crazy in the same way, and then it gets predictable. Same in Rio, Bogota, Lagos, etc. But the bad driving habits are different from country to country. In Houston, they’re all together, and you have no freaking idea what the rules are in the person’s head in the car approaching you. 
I’m not positive it’s true, but I’ve heard (and would believe) that Houston is the most diverse city in the country. Whether or not it’s true, it is a melting pot, and the driving is horrendous. 

Edit: Last year we moved out of the Houston area after almost 20 years. Most of that I was driving 1+ hours each way in Houston traffic. I never had an accident. Part of that is the advanced defensive driving classes I took multiple times in the O&G industry. Most of it is the sheer grace of God. 

Edited by nnm

#12886
2 hours ago, nnm said:

Because all of the people from those crap hole countries moved to Houston and amalgamate their horrible driving habits. 
Driving in Caracas is terrifying until you figure out that everyone is crazy in the same way, and then it gets predictable. Same in Rio, Bogota, Lagos, etc. But the bad driving habits are different from country to country. In Houston, they’re all together, and you have no freaking idea what the rules are in the person’s head in the car approaching you. 
I’m not positive it’s true, but I’ve heard (and would believe) that Houston is the most diverse city in the country. Whether or not it’s true, it is a melting pot, and the driving is horrendous. 

Also applies to Miami. 

Incidentally, South Florida is a lawless wonderland if you're an aggressive driver. 

#12888

I work with a VP who wants to over-do every. fucking. thing.

The project we’re working on is $100M over budget spread out over 5 buildings and a lot of site work. She wanted to go line by line to see where we could have some savings. Our estimate is easily over 5,000 lines…

After 3 hours (with another guy waiting patiently on the phone in case she had any questions) we had cut $5M. That’s $1.6M per hour. Probably need another 12 days to get find the other $95M. We hit print on Friday and there’s no fucking way we’re gonna get it done the way she wants.

 

Additional ranting below…

Once we cut out the remaining $95M, she wants to get into the minutia that no one but her would care about. She wants me to personally take care of it (because apparently I’m the only detail oriented person she trusts), but I told her fuck no. I’m not going to work for 48 hours straight for something that no one gives a shit about. She got annoyed at me but I didn’t budge. Then one of the guys got tired of her and absolutely lit into her. It was fucking glorious.


More ranting... 

This woman wanted my team of 7 to drive up to LA everyday, JUST in case she wanted to talk to us about something. Everyone gets to LA angry because they’ve either woke up early to get there; or sat in traffic for 1.5 hours. By 3pm, no one got much done because we’re working off our single laptop screens instead of double 27” monitors. Everyone is checked out and just waiting to make a jailbreak when she disappears to make a phone call. I can honestly say there were a few days when she didn’t even talk to anyone.

 

I actually get along with her and we work pretty well together. But sometimes it’s a fucking beating. 

#12891
16 minutes ago, Carl Spackler said:

I want to strangle every person who refers to their pets as "furbabies."

Please let’s not drag that kind of talk in here.

#12892
37 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

Can you pawn it off on the Seattle team?

Seattle team are shit bags. Pawning off shit right before Christmas so they can take a break. 

 

At least this VP will step up and do the work herself. Unfortunately she'll also keep you until 3AM (and she has) until the work is done. I enjoy what I do and don't mind putting in more hours. But holy hell, she takes it to the next level.

Edited by Superhero

#12893
On 11/5/2021 at 11:06 AM, troph said:

Saw a guy run over a squirrel without as much as tapping his breaks this morning.  Saw it coming a mile away and he had plenty of room to avoid it. Mother fucker.

I’ve shot more danged WTD, mule deer, speed goats, elk, hogs and dogs than I can recount. 
 

And I will brake for a tree rat every time. 

#12894
On 11/8/2021 at 7:26 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

There's a triple lane left turn real near my house.  I've learned to avoid the middle turn lane at all costs.  I've driven in numerous shit hole countries and Houston has by far the worst drivers I've encountered

Gessner and I-10; Dairy Ashford and I-10.  
 

Triple turn lane Lindy free for all.  

#12895

The three left turn lane deal at 360 to go west on 2244 is a shitshow.  I need to be in the far right one for the next quick turn to DFA.  But inside two lane mutha fuckers wanna play Tokyo Drift.  
 

also the three lanes of southbound Guadalupe veer left onto the south 1st street bridge.  Not a true left turn but people do not stay in their lanes and fuck up traffic on both those streets and Cesar Chavez.  

Edited by Lobo

#12897
8 hours ago, Superhero said:

The project we’re working on is $100M over budget spread out over 5 buildings and a lot of site work. She wanted to go line by line to see where we could have some savings. Our estimate is easily over 5,000 lines…

Damn. Isn't that her job? Slap it into a comparative spreadsheet and sort by "max" (percentage or dollar). Job done in 5 minutes.

#12898
On 11/8/2021 at 7:26 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

There's a triple lane left turn real near my house.  I've learned to avoid the middle turn lane at all costs.  I've driven in numerous shit hole countries and Houston has by far the worst drivers I've encountered

I may have encountered this yesterday, from West bound I 10 feeder road onto southbound Gessner.

Everyone miraculously abided, and I was grateful AF in that middle lane turn with a pickup loaded with 2 pinball machines… my agility/ elusivity was virtually zero had someone been off kilter.  I mumbled to my buddy,’ Who thought of that eveil shit? I didn’t even know 3 lane turns existed!’

Edited by slorch

#12900

 

Not sure which thread to post in.  Theft in general sucks the big one, but I once sat on a flight from Denver to Milwaukee next to a area manager for some WalMart stores in Wisconsin.  He said that Detergent was the highest theft item they have and that there are crime rings that roam the midwest to do exactly the above.  I had not seen it before though.

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