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1 hour ago, elfenix said:

lost internet while on the can and pondered whether bowels even work without internet anymore

thats when you re-learn all of the ingredients in the shampoo bottle

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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poly-syllabic hell on the back of a shampoo bottle.

8 minutes ago, slorch said:

poly-syllabic hell on the back of a shampoo bottle.

How in the hell are you guys reading shampoo bottles?  When I'm in the shower I don't have my reading glasses on and I can't read the large font logos, let alone the small print on the back.  

I know, getting old sucks thread is that way---->

1 minute ago, nnm said:

How in the hell are you guys reading shampoo bottles?  When I'm in the shower I don't have my reading glasses on and I can't read the large font logos, let alone the small print on the back.  

I know, getting old sucks thread is that way---->

I thought we were talking about being on the can...and in one of our bathrooms, you can easily reach the shower caddy for reading material.

Now, did you mean to say you get in the shower just to take a dump?

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20 minutes ago, nnm said:

How in the hell are you guys reading shampoo bottles?  When I'm in the shower I don't have my reading glasses on and I can't read the large font logos, let alone the small print on the back.  

I know, getting old sucks thread is that way---->

That was one of the final straws before deciding to get contacts. 

On 1/12/2023 at 1:16 AM, SHOOTER12 said:

,"finna"

Fit-N-Da. Probably a local dialect. 

  • Author

"Super" Wildcard Weekend

"Super" Wildcard Weekend
It's because they expanded the field to add worthless 7 seeds so we get 2 extra games! Fuck yeah!!

 

 

On 1/11/2023 at 8:17 AM, FirstTimeCaller said:

What's wrong with this? That's a wide street and they aren't taking up more space than the car that's parked on it two doors down.

I've gotten more and more "cars suck" as I get older. The shit you see on sidewalks is mind-numbing until you realize how much priority is given to cars versus actual people. Our walk to school with the kid includes bushes taking over half the walk... a telephone pole literally in the middle of the walkway... and narrow spots where you can't walk side by side while the residential street could literally fit four lanes.

 

 

assholes completely blocking the sidewalk when they park in the driveway.

 

 

59 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:
1 hour ago, elfenix said:
"Super" Wildcard Weekend

It's because they expanded the field to add worthless 7 seeds so we get 2 extra games! Fuck yeah!!

 

I know, I hate having more football.

 

 

  • Author

more football = good

branding = surly

Anyone playing anything out loud on their phone in public should be beaten with a bag of oranges. 

Please don't waste good oranges, thx.

People who will type the word "fixing" and mean "about to." I can tolerate if that's the way you speak casually, but something about seeing it typed out fucking annoys the hell out of me. Same to a lesser extent with seeing "yall" written. And this is from someone who was born in Texas and lived here my entire life. 
I always go with 'finna'.

Or you could just take that money and buy fucking 22-30 DOZEN eggs per month. Are these people slangin yolks as a side hustle? 

4 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Please don't waste good oranges, thx.

Seriously. It's not like 'bar of soap in a sock' is broken 

This is a really great way to ensure that I create a password that I definitely will remember and never have issues recovering.

image.thumb.png.4b0bff70bfd5b28ca8c2528045b62195.png

Will try to keep this as apolitical as possible, so here goes.

Wyoming is an ass backward state that is under the thumb of lobbyists. The want to ban electric car sales by 2035.

 

Wyoming lobbyists want to ban sales of electric vehicles

 

Quote

Legislators of the nation's least-populous state are taking a brave stand against modernity and climate action. They're sponsoring SJ0004, "Phasing out new electric vehicle sales by 2035," an uncomplicated bill that expresses the state's goal to phase out sales of new EVs by 2035 and asks Wyoming's industries and citizens to do their civic duty in resisting the EV. Copies of the resolution would be sent to the White House, leaders in Congress, and the governor of California.

The motivation, according to the bill's preamble, is that the oil and gas industry is important to the state, a state with fewer than 600,000 residents. Wyoming is proud of its oil and gas industry, and that gas—here presumably meaning "gasoline" and not the natural gas referred to in the bill's early sentences—powers vehicles that drive on the state's vast stretches of highway.

The bill's authors think Wyoming's interstate network is too desolate for electric vehicles, particularly since there is no existing EV charging infrastructure, they claim.

The authors also decry the fact that EVs require certain critical minerals—not currently supplied by the state of Wyoming—and that these could end up polluting landfills in Wyoming, in obvious ignorance of the enormous recycling potential for EV batteries.

Therefore, in order to protect the incomes of people who earn money extracting hydrocarbons from the ground or moving them around the state, sales of new EVs must be banned in Wyoming by 2035, the bill argues.

The date is no coincidence; 2035 is the year by which California wants to phase out sales of new internal combustion engine-powered vehicles. And that same year is when US President Joe Biden wants at least 50 percent of all new vehicles sold in the US to be EVs.

The politics of resentment come through loud and clear from the bill's primary sponsor, State Senator Jim Anderson. Anderson told the Cowboy State Daily that if successful, Wyoming's legislature would inform the rest of the world that "if you don’t like our petroleum cars, well, we don’t like your electric cars."

But even if the bill passes—not impossible, given the tight ******** control of both chambers of Wyoming's legislature—it does not bind the state to any action other than a general sense of opprobrium toward cars powered by batteries.

Indeed, the Cowboy State Daily quotes State Senator Brian Boner, another politician behind the bill, as saying some might describe the bill as "tongue-in-cheek, but obviously it’s a very serious issue that deserves some public discussion."

 

"Senator Boner claims the bill is tongue-in-cheek"

Checking out at any Walgreens or CVS. I swear to God they must have a system for hiring the slowest motherfuckers in the history of time to work at those places.

27 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

"Senator Boner claims the bill is tongue-in-cheek"

Waste of tax payer money. The senator should earn his keep by putting a boner in his cheek.

4 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Checking out at any Walgreens or CVS. I swear to God they must have a system for hiring the slowest motherfuckers in the history of time to work at those places.

Thank god my CVS has two self checkouts 

6 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Checking out at any Walgreens or CVS. I swear to God they must have a system for hiring the slowest motherfuckers in the history of time to work at those places.

KFC says not so fast. 

7 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Checking out at any Walgreens or CVS. I swear to God they must have a system for hiring the slowest motherfuckers in the history of time to work at those places.

Next to Whataburger.

I’ll put Walgreens up against anywhere for maximum ass whip at the register

Fat slob Gypsy begging for money at Bunker Hill HEB fuel pumps.  At least 8 snot-nosed brats in the back of her Suburban. 
 

She didn’t like my reply.  

9350B059-3219-4EEF-A364-C5CED6BFB839.jpeg

I must have been distracted by yoga pants, because the box of Topo Chico I picked up at HEB the other day appears to be those pussy-ass 6.5 oz bottles. What the hell is the point of those fucking things? I am more surly than I should be about this. 

1 hour ago, Blotto said:

I must have been distracted by yoga pants, because the box of Topo Chico I picked up at HEB the other day appears to be those pussy-ass 6.5 oz bottles. What the hell is the point of those fucking things? I am more surly than I should be about this. 

I use those for cocktails.

I must have been distracted by yoga pants, because the box of Topo Chico I picked up at HEB the other day appears to be those pussy-ass 6.5 oz bottles. What the hell is the point of those fucking things? I am more surly than I should be about this. 

I switched to the HEB 1877 Mineral Water. Tiniest bit saltier than Topo, but I’m actually liking it better. Sourced and bottled in Mineral Wells. Cheaper doesn’t hurt.

This is pretty damn trivial so I think it qualifies. 
I hate that ESPN.com has been listing men and women’s college basketball score intermixed.  I don’t follow really closely but I like to scan the scores.  I don’t like to review scores then look at whether it’s the men’s or women’s score to decide how much of a shit I give.  Sorry, but people care about women’s and men’s basketball to a different degree.  

10 hours ago, Lhorn said:

This is pretty damn trivial so I think it qualifies. 
I hate that ESPN.com has been listing men and women’s college basketball score intermixed.  I don’t follow really closely but I like to scan the scores.  I don’t like to review scores then look at whether it’s the men’s or women’s score to decide how much of a shit I give.  Sorry, but people care about women’s and men’s basketball to a different degree.  

I hate when they mix volleyball/basketball/etc during football season. 

Holy shit, Vandy is beating Alabama?

Oh fuck, that's a volleyball score.

  • Author
I hate when they mix volleyball/basketball/etc during football season. 
Holy shit, Vandy is beating Alabama?
Oh fuck, that's a volleyball score.
25-19 should have tipped you off
44 minutes ago, elfenix said:

25-19 should have tipped you off

You've never watched a Vandy game.

  • Author

i'm surly that i didn't go with 25-18.  that was my first thought for unlikely football but likely volleyball score, but thought 19 would be even more unlikely.  also, prime number.

then checked scorigami.  7 NFL games have ended 25-19. no NFL games have ended 25-18.

Edited by elfenix

1 minute ago, elfenix said:

i'm surly that i didn't go with 25-18.  that was my first thought for unlikely football but likely volleyball score, but thought 19 would be even more unlikely.  also, prime number.

then checked scorigami.  7 NFL games ended 25-19. no NFL games ended 25-18.

Cowboys have the 18 down pat.

19 minutes ago, elfenix said:

i'm surly that i didn't go with 25-18.  that was my first thought for unlikely football but likely volleyball score, but thought 19 would be even more unlikely.  also, prime number.

then checked scorigami.  7 NFL games have ended 25-19. no NFL games have ended 25-18.

Cowboys_Redskins_Football_10137_59785424

Centerpoint trying to sell me gas line insurance. When did this new racket start? Da fuq do I need gas line insurance for?

Centerpoint trying to sell me gas line insurance. When did this new racket start? Da fuq do I need gas line insurance for?
I like how it was my 'last chance!' about 85 notices ago. Fuck them.
18 minutes ago, Okie State said:
21 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:
Centerpoint trying to sell me gas line insurance. When did this new racket start? Da fuq do I need gas line insurance for?

I like how it was my 'last chance!' about 85 notices ago. Fuck them.

They just installed new gas lines all the way up to my house including a new meter and then sent me that letter about gas line insurance.

10 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

You want to cook this recipe?  Good luck scrolling through 68 paragraphs of my AIDS infested page to get there. 

Agreed.  It's more and more now.  I'm like "Where the fuck are the actual ingredients?  Oh here they are, after 8 pages of scrolling ads..."

17 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Cowboys have the 18 down pat.

or wide pat, to be more um...accurate.

Nice work though.

12 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

You want to cook this recipe?  Good luck scrolling through 68 paragraphs of my AIDS infested page to get there. 

Those are two separate issues. First, I hate having to scroll past someone’s life story to get to the recipe. I don’t care about your mom or your childhood or your vacation where you discovered this dish. I’ve already heard about the dish and I’m looking for a recipe. I don’t care how you first learned about it or when you like to eat it or what your friends thought about it when you made it for them. The better sites include a link to scroll you past all that and straight to the recipe.

Second, fuck the pop up ads. I’m not even looking at those pages. I’m backing out as soon as I see them. Those sites are off limits.

11 hours ago, Brothahorn said:

Centerpoint trying to sell me gas line insurance. When did this new racket start? Da fuq do I need gas line insurance for?

You know anything they push that hard is a fucking racket.  If they would just give me the gas line insurance and stop sending me shit trying to get me to buy it, I think they would actually save money.

On 1/16/2023 at 2:46 PM, Superhero said:

Will try to keep this as apolitical as possible, so here goes.

Wyoming is an ass backward state that is under the thumb of lobbyists. The want to ban electric car sales by 2035.

 

Wyoming lobbyists want to ban sales of electric vehicles

 

 

It's just as dumb as California trying to only sell EVs. 

I'm not sure why you'd want one in WY anyway. They apparently don't do well in the cold. 

It's just as dumb as California trying to only sell EVs. 
I'm not sure why you'd want one in WY anyway. They apparently don't do well in the cold. 

Even if there’s a charging station in every town that’s still going to be way too far apart

a guy i worked with a few years ago (who my wife even remembers because he was a PM who would always fucking call me out of the blue and I complained about him a lot) is hitting me up on linkedin wanting to connect on the phone. "Hey man, have a few minutes to explain what you're up to over at <insert celery man employer>." I'm not going to not give this guy half an hour of time because.... whatever, it is good to stay connected to people and maybe someday etc. But I am 99% positive this guy has some kind of pitch for me and I wish he'd just fucking give it so I could say nah dude stay well

a guy i worked with a few years ago (who my wife even remembers because he was a PM who would always fucking call me out of the blue and I complained about him a lot) is hitting me up on linkedin wanting to connect on the phone. "Hey man, have a few minutes to explain what you're up to over at ." I'm not going to not give this guy half an hour of time because.... whatever, it is good to stay connected to people and maybe someday etc. But I am 99% positive this guy has some kind of pitch for me and I wish he'd just fucking give it so I could say nah dude stay well
He's for sure in a pyramid scheme setup he wants to drag you into...

My asshole BIL that moved to Kentucky 13 months ago and insists we call Louisville “Loo a vll”. I keep telling him it’s named after King Louis, not Loua. BTW he’s super proud to tell me about his wife and her fake ass Louis Vuittan purses she’s into selling at the flea market, so I know it’s not some speech impediment he’s suddenly picked up.

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