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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

#16402
9 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

In a similar vein, people that leave 1+ car lengths in front of them at lights. I used to work out of a house on Bull Creek and 45th and would watch this happen all day. Sometimes 2-3 car lengths, which would ultimately fuck over at least 5 cars from getting through the light. I’m not asking people to be right up on the bumper of the car in front of them, but you don’t need a 15 foot gap. 

People who do this in the drive thru lane should be hung. 

~~~~~

When I'm at a stoplight that includes occupied left turn lanes on both sides, I'm continually amazed by how many people first in line and heading straight begin inching forward when they see the light turn yellow for the cross street traffic. 

How do you not understand that you're still going to have to wait for the people turning left before it turns green to go straight? 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

#16403

people who've already stood in line for a while with the menu just ahead of them, and when they go up to the counter still ask incredibly dumb questions.

"do you have french fries"

motherfucker did you not read?

#16408

So, I follow the "Houston Heights Foodies" group on FB that's actually quite useful for news about restaurant openings and reviews of new places. However, there are lots of simpletons on there that ask extremely broad, dumb questions.

"Looking for a good place to eat inside the Beltway that serves alcohol" Oh, that narrows it down!

Or the morons in the comments that didn't read the original post. 

Somebody will be like "Tried (restaurant) on (street) in (neighborhood). Really loved the fajitas and the margaritas were strong but tasty!"

In the comments: "Looks good, what restaurant and where is it located?"

#16409
14 hours ago, Ignatius said:

People who take forever to ask a simple question…

Wives?

I just want to know where you hid the trash bags, not a laundry list of everything you bought at the store that day.

#16410
23 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

People that call me "brother" when I'm not their brother. 

Me too buddy!

#16411
On 5/11/2023 at 9:23 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

That would never be me.

When I am first in line at a light, my preferred spot, I treat that light like a drag racer. I will be gone and up to the speed limit within 4 seconds even if it 55MPH.

 

you gonna get t-boned

 

 

#16417
14 hours ago, HOOKEM4 said:

Damn straight, hoss.

That was my first longhorn internet handle way back in the days when you started to download an album when you went to bed and hoped it was done by the time you woke up.

#16418
On 5/2/2023 at 6:06 AM, GoPokes83 said:


I’m a Pepsi guy. For some reason Buc-ees has stopped carrying all Pepsi products. It’s the only decent c-store in this town.

Probably because the Coke products sell more.  I'd rather go in a store and box of tampons for the wife than go buy a pepsi.

Edited by Bevo&Pevo

#16419

something, something, Code Red...giggle.

#16420

Heading into work, there's a light that is roughly a 5 minute cycle.  Coming up to the left turn lane, there's maybe 10 cars in front of me.  9 of them follow each other pretty tightly to get through the light, and I'm stuck behind the dolt that leaves a 10 car gap between her and the car in front of her.  She's three car lengths from the light, and it turns yellow.  She stops at a solid yellow and makes me and three behind me miss the light.  5 minutes of precious twitter / surly time I missed due to her most likely texting and driving.

Edited by PvilleStang

#16421
12 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

I'm stuck behind the dolt that leaves a 10 car gap between her and the car in front of her.

I've seen a bunch of people doing that lately. Asking around I get "if you are too close tot he car in front of you and you get rear ended, you'll get hurt worse".

Ok. Probably true, but 3 car lengths? Are you planning on getting hit from behind by a train?

#16422

I don't know who needs to hear this, but whoever is in charge of sizing mens polo's etc.

WTF are you doing?

As a pretty standard sized male human, I fully expect to be relegated to the kids section soon.  Got a polo from work, it fits great.  It's a fucking M.  I haven't worn a Medium anything since middle school.

Found a Large Adidas golf polo at Marshalls, it might as well have been a 3X.

 

C'mon man.

 

#16425
I don't know who needs to hear this, but whoever is in charge of sizing mens polo's etc.
WTF are you doing?
As a pretty standard sized male human, I fully expect to be relegated to the kids section soon.  Got a polo from work, it fits great.  It's a fucking M.  I haven't worn a Medium anything since middle school.
Found a Large Adidas golf polo at Marshalls, it might as well have been a 3X.
 
C'mon man.
 
Sizing in footwear and clothes in general. Why isn't there any consistency from brand to brand? There is brands of shoes that run smaller or bigger than others.
#16426
9 hours ago, Tylerocks said:

I don't know who needs to hear this, but whoever is in charge of sizing mens polo's etc.

WTF are you doing?

Not only that, but brands fucking with their established sizing and fits! Ralph Lauren managed to push me away by adjusting, adding, and removing random fit options every few years to the point where I now don't know wtf size actually fits me, and gave up on trying. Custom Fit, Custom Slim Fit, Slim Fit, Regular Fit, but a Regular M is not the same size as a Regular M from 5 years ago is not the same as a Regular M from 10 years ago. I can somewhat forgive lack of standardization across different brands, but within a brand???

WTF are you doing?

#16428
5 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Not only that, but brands fucking with their established sizing and fits! Ralph Lauren managed to push me away by adjusting, adding, and removing random fit options every few years to the point where I now don't know wtf size actually fits me, and gave up on trying. Custom Fit, Custom Slim Fit, Slim Fit, Regular Fit, but a Regular M is not the same size as a Regular M from 5 years ago is not the same as a Regular M from 10 years ago. I can somewhat forgive lack of standardization across different brands, but within a brand???

WTF are you doing?

Modern Fit, Athletic Fit, Tailored Fit, New York Fit…

#16429

Where's fat ass fit?  Beer drinkers' fit?  Extra-ball-room fit?  

But honestly, Polo t-shirts seem to get smaller vertically as of late.  I'm not a big and tall guy, but when I wear a polo, I'd expect to raise my arms and my belt or belly button not make an appearance.

#16431
25 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Does that account for the baseball bat you carry?

furies.jpg

Don’t forget the Timbalands

#16432
2 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Where's fat ass fit?  Beer drinkers' fit?  Extra-ball-room fit?  

But honestly, Polo t-shirts seem to get smaller vertically as of late.  I'm not a big and tall guy, but when I wear a polo, I'd expect to raise my arms and my belt or belly button not make an appearance.

 

Dad bod fit?

 

#16433

I get this call at work almost every day:

"I have questions about the paperwork you sent me"

Ok, what's the ID number on the paper?

"Uhh, hang on. I'm driving and it's hard to read this, ha ha".  Or  "I don't have the forms in front of me, I'm currently driving"

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

#16434
29 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

Wives thread----------->

#16435
6 hours ago, Sandman said:

I get this call at work almost every day:

"I have questions about the paperwork you sent me"

Ok, what's the ID number on the paper?

"Uhh, hang on. I'm driving and it's hard to read this, ha ha".  Or  "I don't have the forms in front of me, I'm currently driving"

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

Related- dumb motherfuckers cannot navigate our reporting systems and data( see also: set bookmarks/ favorites,) but this behavior is compounded by the utter lack of respect they have by calling me while in the market as if I should walk them through it over the phone( blind.).  Just fuck you, you lazy, inconsiderate motherfuckers.  The old guy(me) shouldn’t be the tech guru.  Put in your own work, assholes. I’m not a fucking helpdesk. 

Edited by slorch

#16437

I ordered some pants from a store online and it was the wrong size so I went to the store to swap it. 

Wasnt sure if the other sizes would fit, so I decided to do a return first, instead of an exchange, and try on the other sizes later while perusing the store.

When I got home I realized the online order was bought during sale at half off, and the replacement I bought back was for full price. 

#16438
12 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

I ordered some pants from a store online and it was the wrong size so I went to the store to swap it. 

Wasnt sure if the other sizes would fit, so I decided to do a return first, instead of an exchange, and try on the other sizes later while perusing the store.

When I got home I realized the online order was bought during sale at half off, and the replacement I bought back was for full price. 

You learned that shit from my wife didn't ya?

#16439

People who text work related shit like an infantile idiot who thinks I share their brain.

"John Smith is coming!"

Ok, is he bringing x, y or z? Is Jane Smith coming who provides similar services and was there the previous week?

I text back.

No answer.

Motherfucker you had your fucking phone in your hand 3 seconds ago, unless you scheduled that text like a fucking lunatic. So answer and give the required details.

#16440
1 hour ago, gofuckyourself said:

you had your fucking phone in your hand 3 seconds ago

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

Silence...

#16441
1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

 

Her: "To grab dinner, dipshit. I just told you that."

#16442
On 5/16/2023 at 9:57 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

Ok. Probably true, but 3 car lengths? Are you planning on getting hit from behind by a train?

Maybe it was South Austin’s mom. 

#16444
People who text work related shit like an infantile idiot who thinks I share their brain.
"John Smith is coming!"
Ok, is he bringing x, y or z? Is Jane Smith coming who provides similar services and was there the previous week?
I text back.
No answer.
Motherfucker you had your fucking phone in your hand 3 seconds ago, unless you scheduled that text like a fucking lunatic. So answer and give the required details.

You work with my wife? So to speak.
#16445
4 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

Silence...

They don't care what you have to say. They just HAVE to get their words out to someone. The text is just a way for her thoughts to reach the universe. 

#16447
6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

Silence...

She’s going to drive your nuts. Not sure what you’re complaining about. 

#16448
On 5/18/2023 at 12:18 PM, Sandman said:

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

Jack Kerouac. 

#16449

Not so trivial.
Left the place I was staying in Dakar, Senegal at 11:30 am Texas time Thursday. After a long layover in Brussels and a short one in Newark, I just enjoyed a 5 hour delay because of weather at DFW, during which we got diverted to Houston. I finally arrived at DFW at 10:00 pm Friday.

After getting my truck and driving home to ETX, I should be home around midnight. 36+ hour trip. 
Oh, and as mentioned in the shart thread, the squirts on the planes and in the airports were fun too. 

Edited by nnm

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