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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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1 hour ago, Superhero said:

My weight stays the same, but my neck gets fatter every year.

I've always had a fat 16" neck, but managed to maintain it for the past 10 years. I would likely choke me to death if I have to button it up.

Time to order some fat neck shirts.

 

On 9/7/2023 at 1:29 PM, 52-80 said:

Finally had it with my Microsoft Sculpt Ergo keyboard.  Damn thing drains battery randomly.  The keyboard and keypad are separate, so they drain independently.  Worse, they each use a different type of battery.  One doesn't have a battery indicator, and the other has a microscopic red dot buried between and below 2 keys which is only visible if you view it from the right angle.  Worst of all, despite being only a few years old, it has no bluetooth and requires a proprietary dongle (something I had not known at the time).

Replaced it today with a Logitech K860.  Thank god it has bluetooth.  But the typing action is worse than the Microsoft's, and is inflicted with this weird modern where the left Shift key is midget sized and shape of Enter "L" is inverted. 

 

So we remember thee, Microsoft Natural Ergo Pro, the greatest keyboard of all time.  RIP you magnificent bastard.

b8bcc280f7cd97c9f66d5b53eec309d4.jpg

 

My Logitech K350 with M705  has been great for years.

 

On 9/7/2023 at 1:29 PM, 52-80 said:

Finally had it with my Microsoft Sculpt Ergo keyboard.  Damn thing drains battery randomly.  The keyboard and keypad are separate, so they drain independently.  Worse, they each use a different type of battery.  One doesn't have a battery indicator, and the other has a microscopic red dot buried between and below 2 keys which is only visible if you view it from the right angle.  Worst of all, despite being only a few years old, it has no bluetooth and requires a proprietary dongle (something I had not known at the time).

Replaced it today with a Logitech K860.  Thank god it has bluetooth.  But the typing action is worse than the Microsoft's, and is inflicted with this weird modern where the left Shift key is midget sized and shape of Enter "L" is inverted. 

 

So we remember thee, Microsoft Natural Ergo Pro, the greatest keyboard of all time.  RIP you magnificent bastard.

b8bcc280f7cd97c9f66d5b53eec309d4.jpg

 

My Logitech K350 with M705  has been great for years.

81w-0pZYH4L._AC_SX679_.jpg

 

On 9/7/2023 at 1:29 PM, 52-80 said:

Finally had it with my Microsoft Sculpt Ergo keyboard.  Damn thing drains battery randomly.  The keyboard and keypad are separate, so they drain independently.  Worse, they each use a different type of battery.  One doesn't have a battery indicator, and the other has a microscopic red dot buried between and below 2 keys which is only visible if you view it from the right angle.  Worst of all, despite being only a few years old, it has no bluetooth and requires a proprietary dongle (something I had not known at the time).

Replaced it today with a Logitech K860.  Thank god it has bluetooth.  But the typing action is worse than the Microsoft's, and is inflicted with this weird modern where the left Shift key is midget sized and shape of Enter "L" is inverted. 

 

So we remember thee, Microsoft Natural Ergo Pro, the greatest keyboard of all time.  RIP you magnificent bastard.

b8bcc280f7cd97c9f66d5b53eec309d4.jpg

 

My Logitech K350 with M705  has been great for years.

81w-0pZYH4L._AC_SX679_.jpg

 

Rocking the early 90's IBM classic keyboard. have a couple from Austin IBM surplus store. They go for a lot on the bay. Easily the best keyboard I have ever used.

13 hours ago, Superhero said:

My weight stays the same, but my neck gets fatter every year.

I've always had a fat 16" neck, but managed to maintain it for the past 10 years. I would likely choke me to death if I have to button it up.

Time to order some fat neck shirts.

PM Frank Beamer

There's a tendency for many podcasts to be narrated by a nasally, shrill dude who sounds like he looks like this

2d3643da-c6b3-4842-9a04-6e233956efe9-large1x1_AP17213596470689.jpg


And then the script is done in a sing-songy Sorkin'esque way where they rapidly cut back and forth between the narrator and the subject:

today we're going to hear a story about a farmer--

-my name is bubba jenkins and im a farmer

whose love of beets got him into beet farming

-ive been farming beets all my life

that is, until he discovered the love of plantains---

-but one day i fell in love with plantains

 

they all seem to be affiliated with NPR gigantic's podcasting network so maybe that shouldn't have surprised me

 

 

My weight stays the same, but my neck gets fatter every year.
I've always had a fat 16" neck, but managed to maintain it for the past 10 years. I would likely choke me to death if I have to button it up.
Time to order some fat neck shirts.

giphy.gif
7 hours ago, 52-80 said:

done in a sing-songy Sorkin'esque way

Damn. That's good.

44 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Damn. That's good.

They fucking catfish me because the titles of the series and the episodes sound good….and then i listen to one and it sounds like 2 dudes trying to tell the same story at the same time

  • Author
On 9/11/2023 at 3:49 PM, Elvis said:

My Logitech K350 with M705  has been great for years.

81w-0pZYH4L._AC_SX679_.jpg

 

had one of these for a few years, the key action got gummy and hard to type on.  replaced it with a G613 wireless mechanical.  not ergonomic but the key strokes are so good. 

15 hours ago, elfenix said:

had one of these for a few years, the key action got gummy and hard to type on.  replaced it with a G613 wireless mechanical.  not ergonomic but the key strokes are so good. 

I found if you don't splooge on your keyboard, the typing action doesn't degrade so much.

  • Author
28 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

I found if you don't splooge on your keyboard, the typing action doesn't degrade so much.

Shark Tank Writing GIF

Made an appointment to get my car serviced. Get here by 7:45 they said. Angel will be your service manager they said.

What they didn't say was Angel gets to work at 8AM.

Ordering multiple kinds of breakfast tacos, putting them in one bag and not labeling.

Nothing better than unwrapping foil and playing seek and find as part of a unplanned team building exercise. 

58 minutes ago, Wally Pryor said:

Ordering multiple kinds of breakfast tacos, putting them in one bag and not labeling.

Nothing better than unwrapping foil and playing seek and find as part of a unplanned team building exercise. 

Our office is in a food desert here, so we order Door Dash almost daily.  Certain restaurants we order from (Indian might be the worst about this) don't label anything, and when 2/3rds of your foods look nearly identical, it's a PITA.  6 orders of curry from Tarka, and 5 of them look almost identical, but no one got the same thing... Learn from some of your competition and invest in a black sharpie.

Fuck that, your people are too spoiled. You will eat whatever mystery unlabeled item you are handed and you will like it.

3 hours ago, Superhero said:

Made an appointment to get my car serviced. Get here by 7:45 they said. Angel will be your service manager they said.

What they didn't say was Angel gets to work at 8AM.

I had an allergist do this to me recently. Fucking morons. 8 am appt - "be sure to arrive 15 minutes early". Well, they don't actually open the door until 8 am. 

20 hours ago, elfenix said:

the key action got gummy

Hate when this happens when I've had too much to drink. 

8 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

Fuck that, your people are too spoiled. You will eat whatever mystery unlabeled item you are handed and you will like it.

Breakfast roulette. Team building!

 

2 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

Ordering multiple kinds of breakfast tacos, putting them in one bag and not labeling.

Nothing better than unwrapping foil and playing seek and find as part of a unplanned team building exercise. 

You must be white. You can usually guess what breakfast taco is which by weighing it in your hand.

2 hours ago, Helobious said:

You must be white. You can usually guess what breakfast taco is which by weighing it in your hand.

I think you mean breakfast burrito. 

Could go in wives thread, but really applies to everyone:

When people try and explain their dreams to you. If they could open their eyes and have the dream project onto the wall, then maybe, but otherwise, just keep it to yourself. I’m not going to be able to comprehend the crazy ass world your mind dreamt up last night by your poor attempt at verbalizing it. 

Edited by Biff Tannen

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

Could go in wives thread, but really applies to everyone:

When people try and explain their dreams to you. If they could open their eyes and have the dream project onto the wall, then maybe, but otherwise, just keep it to yourself. I’m not going to be able to comprehend the crazy ass world your mind dreamt up last night by your poor attempt at verbalizing it. 

I had this dream, that we waltzed into Tuscaloosa and wiped our asses with Saban's finest.

 

Oh wait, that wasn't a dream...

My weight stays the same, but my neck gets fatter every year.
I've always had a fat 16" neck, but managed to maintain it for the past 10 years. I would likely choke me to death if I have to button it up.
Time to order some fat neck shirts.

Other end of the spectrum. My wife’s neck had stayed the same but I noticed the last couple of years her shirt neck holes keep getting larger and larger to the point it’s nearly impossible to keep them on a hangar! She’s turning 59 next month so I’m chalking it up to middle age lady styles.

* Screw it… Rules!! I ain’t scared!!!7e95c9c2417b4d678b2a49da463cf307.jpg
12 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Man, hate to tell you, but she seems to have lost her ring...

She's in the office. Doesn't want to make her office husband jealous. 

40 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Man, hate to tell you, but she seems to have lost her ring...

I thought you were going to say “mind.”

Man, hate to tell you, but she seems to have lost her ring...

LOL She actually did lose it on a fishing trip like 8 years ago and refuses to get a replacement because apparently it wouldn’t be the same. Probably do a renewal thing next year for our 30th and do an upgrade.
1 minute ago, GoPokes83 said:


LOL She actually did lose it on a fishing trip like 8 years ago and refuses to get a replacement because apparently it wouldn’t be the same. Probably do a renewal thing next year for our 30th and do an upgrade.

We caught a lot of fish. They were tasty. 

6 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:


LOL She actually did lose it on a fishing trip like 8 years ago and refuses to get a replacement because apparently it wouldn’t be the same. Probably do a renewal thing next year for our 30th and do an upgrade.

How does one upgrade their wife for the 30th?

How does one upgrade their wife for the 30th?

Win the lottery? IDK
15 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

How does one upgrade their wife for the 30th?

It's expensive.

1 hour ago, GoPokes83 said:


Other end of the spectrum. My wife’s neck had stayed the same but I noticed the last couple of years her shirt neck holes keep getting larger and larger to the point it’s nearly impossible to keep them on a hangar! She’s turning 59 next month so I’m chalking it up to middle age lady styles.

* Screw it… Rules!! I ain’t scared!!!7e95c9c2417b4d678b2a49da463cf307.jpg

She belongs in the Woman over 40 that still got it thread. 

She belongs in the Woman over 40 that still got it thread. 

I thank God every day that overweight, fugly, not that bright guys with questionable hygiene are her kryptonite.

But back on track, I’m going to have to start cutting hula hoops in half to make hangars for her shirts!
53 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

How does one upgrade their wife for the 30th?

Half of everything you own. Actually, probably more like 2/3. Far more than I can afford, that’s for sure. 

On 9/11/2023 at 2:12 PM, Sam Lin said:

16 is fat??

No shit, I'm thin and have a 16 neck.

On 9/11/2023 at 12:12 PM, Sam Lin said:

16 is fat??

 

1 hour ago, SHOOTER12 said:

No shit, I'm thin and have a 16 neck.

 

Yeah, but I bet you're taller than 5'-8".

4 minutes ago, Superhero said:

 

 

Yeah, but I bet you're taller than 5'-8".

True, hair under 6'. Hadn't thought about height.

This is borderline non-trivial.

I bought a box of these:

IMG_9143.thumb.jpeg.22abb0120c70ac04220091998fb1048f.jpeg

It contained only 17 shells.

😡

This is borderline non-trivial.
I bought a box of these:
IMG_9143.thumb.jpeg.22abb0120c70ac04220091998fb1048f.jpeg
It contained only 17 shells.
[emoji35]

giphy.gif

Apparently the Zac Brown band decided to cover Bohemian Rhapsody.  And some cocksucker decided to play it at the bar I’m hanging out at.

It sucks so bad, it makes me ragey.

4 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Apparently the Zac Brown band decided to cover Bohemian Rhapsody.  And some cocksucker decided to play it at the bar I’m hanging out at.

It sucks so bad, it makes me ragey.

I was just listening to Jake singing that song on a rerun of Two and a Half Men when I read your post. You just blew my mind.

Jake’s rendition sucks too. 

I was firing up the grill, and decided to shift it a bit. Grabbed the corner of the side shelf, and I felt a sharp pain on the tip of my left index finger.

Two of these mother fuckers were stinging me.

IMG-9590.jpg

18 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

IMG_9126.thumb.jpeg.56f87b0f94356d6acb9df9c32ae88271.jpeg

Give your grandmother back her plate and get with the program, this is the only acceptable plate pattern on Surly... 

image.thumb.png.15f7dd199818cf98b1ea6c1061f5ab36.png

When my fingerprint login randomly resets on an app. I set that up so I wouldn't have to remember my password.

When it rains while you’re taking down your tent. 2 weekends in a row. Had to pitch the tent again after I get home to let it dry. 

15 hours ago, Superhero said:

Had to pitch the tent again after I get home to let it dry. 

jiggity GIF

I have this lady who works for me and she brings a big dish of cauliflower once a week at least. Heats it in the microwave.  Not as bad as tuna but it makes the whole gottdamn office smell like buttholes. 

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