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On 9/15/2023 at 10:34 PM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I was firing up the grill, and decided to shift it a bit. Grabbed the corner of the side shelf, and I felt a sharp pain on the tip of my left index finger.

Two of these mother fuckers were stinging me.

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We have a bowl on the entry way where I dump my keys and change and stuff. Went to grab my keys a few weeks ago and one of those fuckers was at the bottom of the bowl.

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  • Scheiss Meister
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    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

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    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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Airport coffee shops make me surly.  They should have a separate line for people who only want a plain black cup of coffee.  Karen who wants her mochalattefrappuccinotriplepumpmacciato should not hold up the rest of humanity that only want to avoid the caffeine headache.  Yes, I had a 6:00 am flight from COS to DFW this morning.  And yes, I almost missed my flight because I wanted the aforementioned cup of coffee, but there was a whole raft of Karens in front of me ordering their grownup milkshakes.

34 minutes ago, nnm said:

Airport coffee shops make me surly.  They should have a separate line for people who only want a plain black cup of coffee.  Karen who wants her mochalattefrappuccinotriplepumpmacciato should not hold up the rest of humanity that only want to avoid the caffeine headache.  Yes, I had a 6:00 am flight from COS to DFW this morning.  And yes, I almost missed my flight because I wanted the aforementioned cup of coffee, but there was a whole raft of Karens in front of me ordering their grownup milkshakes.

All is this, but a good cappuccino is hard to beat.


The same Karens are also the ones who order cocktails at bars. At the bar, I get beer, or drinks with 2 ingredients max - gin & tonic; martini with an olive. 

45 minutes ago, nnm said:

Airport coffee shops make me surly.  They should have a separate line for people who only want a plain black cup of coffee.  Karen who wants her mochalattefrappuccinotriplepumpmacciato should not hold up the rest of humanity that only want to avoid the caffeine headache.  Yes, I had a 6:00 am flight from COS to DFW this morning.  And yes, I almost missed my flight because I wanted the aforementioned cup of coffee, but there was a whole raft of Karens in front of me ordering their grownup milkshakes.

Pro tip: pre-order Starbucks on the app on the way to the airport and just pick it up from the mobile pick up area when you walk by

24 minutes ago, Superhero said:

All is this, but a good cappuccino is hard to beat.


The same Karens are also the ones who order cocktails at bars. At the bar, I get beer, or drinks with 2 ingredients max - gin & tonic; martini with an olive. 

On the bar. Yes if it's like a sports bar or casual type of place. My normal go to is cranberry and vodka. But if I'm at an nicer restaurant I'm ordering an old fashion. or if it's a Mexican place, a mojito

 

3 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Pro tip: pre-order Starbucks on the app on the way to the airport and just pick it up from the mobile pick up area when you walk by

He said he wanted coffee. 

On the bar. Yes if it's like a sports bar or casual type of place. My normal go to is cranberry and vodka. But if I'm at an nicer restaurant I'm ordering an old fashion. or if it's a Mexican place, a mojito
 

So you’re just assuming Mexicans know how to make a Cuban cocktail? I dunno man, sounds a little racist.

They "upgraded" the workstation computers at work and now 90% of my shit is borked. Can't IT do something right for a change? /rage

14 hours ago, Superhero said:

All is this, but a good cappuccino is hard to beat.


The same Karens are also the ones who order cocktails at bars. At the bar, I get beer, or drinks with 2 ingredients max - gin & tonic; martini with an olive

Uhhh...

On 9/16/2023 at 5:34 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I was firing up the grill, and decided to shift it a bit. Grabbed the corner of the side shelf, and I felt a sharp pain on the tip of my left index finger.

Two of these mother fuckers were stinging me.

IMG-9590.jpg

mnet_106556_matchsticks_wikimedia_common

7f8e795dec6c678a109f93afd3f42a6a.jpg

 

9 hours ago, RPM said:

They "upgraded" the workstation computers at work and now 90% of my shit is borked. Can't IT do something right for a change? /rage

Sounds like they DID do something right.

33 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Sounds like they DID do something right.

A) They transposed all my screens. L -> = R <-

B) Erased all my saved files

C) Left my sign-in timeout setting alone

D) Locked me out of mission critical programs

 

Guess which of the above is false

5 minutes ago, RPM said:

A) They transposed all my screens. L -> = R <-

B) Erased all my saved files

C) Left my sign-in timeout setting alone

D) Locked me out of mission critical programs

 

Guess which of the above is false

Did they at least take you out to dinner first?

3 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Did they at least take you out to dinner first?

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11 hours ago, RPM said:

Can't IT do something right for a change?

How can IT solve problems if there are none? Job security.

39 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

How can IT solve problems if there are none? Job security.

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The phrases “I am him” or “he is him”

9 minutes ago, Fudbelty said:

The phrases “I am him” or “he is him”

What about "I am her" or "she is her"?  Masculine pronouns triggering you?  I am they, or they is them?

Channeling the Beatles? I could care less.

I've given up at this point. We're beyond hope on this one. May as well go with it. 

2 minutes ago, Wally Pryor said:

Channeling the Beatles? I could care less.

I've given up at this point. We're beyond hope on this one. May as well go with it. 

caring.png

You know, it’s not actually possible to pull oneself up by one’s own bootstraps. 

On 9/19/2023 at 4:33 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

This hits close to home....

On 9/14/2023 at 3:06 PM, GoPokes83 said:


I thank God every day that overweight, fugly, not that bright guys with questionable hygiene are her kryptonite.

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Handicapped tags hanging from the rear view mirror while driving.

It’s a fucking parking tag. Take it down while you are driving. You’re supposedly an afflicted cripple as it is (most likely just a lazy fat fuck) so the last thing we need is for half of your field of vision to be blocked.

Besides all that…who the fuck drives around announcing to the world I’M A FUCKING BROKEN DOWN IN VALID!

Edited by MirrOlure

4 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Bulk trash pickup week in south Austin is fun.  At least one dog pissed on it.  
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Why the hell do dog owners let their dogs piss on scooters, I'll never understand!

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Taking a piss at minute maid, my gaze drifts upward and what do I see? Green and gold tiles. Fuck you, Drayton

People who use High Importance on almost every email they send in the work world. And it's nowhere near importance. Fuck off.

On 9/21/2023 at 6:31 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

You know, it’s not actually possible to pull oneself up by one’s own bootstraps. 

Bullshit...

21 hours ago, MirrOlure said:

Besides all that…who the fuck drives around announcing to the world I’M A FUCKING BROKEN DOWN IN VALID!

Better than being broken down outside Valid.

On 9/21/2023 at 3:28 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

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Bbbbut, how much Don't you care?

On 9/22/2023 at 9:03 AM, MirrOlure said:

Handicapped tags hanging from the rear view mirror while driving.

It’s a fucking parking tag. Take it down while you are driving. You’re supposedly an afflicted cripple as it is (most likely just a lazy fat fuck) so the last thing we need is for half of your field of vision to be blocked.

Besides all that…who the fuck drives around announcing to the world I’M A FUCKING BROKEN DOWN IN VALID!

STFU

I’m discovering a huge percentage of the population doesn’t iron, and may not even own an iron. I’m terribly vexed by this. A lot of polyester clothing can stink after awhile. Clothing with cotton is good. Cotton may need ironing. What is the world doing? Ironing sucks. 

On 9/22/2023 at 5:27 AM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Bulk trash pickup week in south Austin is fun.  At least one dog pissed on it.  
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The fact that Austin only has bulk pick up twice a year, while Dallas has it every month.

2 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

I’m discovering a huge percentage of the population doesn’t iron, and may not even own an iron. I’m terribly vexed by this. A lot of polyester clothing can stink after awhile. Clothing with cotton is good. Cotton may need ironing. What is the world doing? Ironing sucks. 

That’s what dry cleaners are for. 

3 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

I’m discovering a huge percentage of the population doesn’t iron, and may not even own an iron. I’m terribly vexed by this. A lot of polyester clothing can stink after awhile. Clothing with cotton is good. Cotton may need ironing. What is the world doing? Ironing sucks. 

Strike while the iron is hot is what I always say. 

2 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

The fact that Austin only has bulk pick up twice a year, while Dallas has it every month.

Do what?   Houston area is monthly or every third Friday or some shit like that.  Thinking back now though, every single thing I’ve ever put on the curb (semi bulky or not) gets picked up.   

5 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

I’m discovering a huge percentage of the population doesn’t iron, and may not even own an iron. I’m terribly vexed by this. A lot of polyester clothing can stink after awhile. Clothing with cotton is good. Cotton may need ironing. What is the world doing? Ironing sucks. 

I rarely iron now that ive bought a steamer

#teamsteamer

 

(not #clevelandsteamer)

I used to watch my wife iron. Now I watch her use the steamer. Fuck ironing.

  • Author

Why the fuck are Kia turn signals down on the bumper instead of in the light cluster?

6ad07bd9e7bfac58f3ecb5c37555a002.jpg

Grocery store baggers that put everything into 2 bags weighing 45 pounds each and handing back 2 empty bags like they’re doing me a favor.

It was never like this until the past 6 months. Maybe I should ask to speak to the manager. 

48 minutes ago, elfenix said:

Why the fuck are Kia turn signals down on the bumper instead of in the light cluster?

6ad07bd9e7bfac58f3ecb5c37555a002.jpg

 

Have you seen how short Korean people are???IMG_0041.thumb.jpeg.7c473bdd63271cd11c89e6572786607a.jpeg

 

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

 

Have you seen how short Korean people are???IMG_0041.thumb.jpeg.7c473bdd63271cd11c89e6572786607a.jpeg

 

Look like they're getting ready for an anal probe.

When you open resealable bags (like a beef jerky bag) you have to tear off the top to access the seal. It drives me fucking bonkers when someone rips the seal off instead of cutting it nicely with a pair of scissors.

Grocery store baggers that put everything into 2 bags weighing 45 pounds each and handing back 2 empty bags like they’re doing me a favor.
It was never like this until the past 6 months. Maybe I should ask to speak to the manager. 
I like when they toss the raw meat in with the fruits and vegetables.
6 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Look like they're getting ready for an anal probe.

image.png.e70e8f654bec77615b1cc6f02e4b58bc.png

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