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Featured Replies

On 2/5/2025 at 12:59 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Despite my best efforts, I have been unable to find a single electrician, plumber, or HVAC contractor in Houston who is not a straight-up crook

Maybe that's why they are single...

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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My wife’s, daughters’c, and the girl that watches them after school in ability to properly load a dishwasher.

Jesus Christ people. It’s not hard!

People who give a shit how the dishwasher is loaded

8 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

My wife’s, daughters’c, and the girl that watches them after school in ability to properly load a dishwasher.

Jesus Christ people. It’s not hard!

My wife can “load” the dishwasher and have half a sink of dirty dishes left for the next cycle.   I can then get them all to fit and get cleaned properly.   Had a heated discussion about this earlier in our marriage and my wife strongly indicated there was not a right or wrong way to load the dishwasher.   I agreed but did indicate there were certainly more and less efficient ways to do so.

While she has never agreed to my point, she has committed that I will always do the dishes.To be fair, I think her position was the asshole in our house will do the dishes, and based on her evaluation my reign has been unbroken.

4 minutes ago, ABSR said:

My wife can “load” the dishwasher and have half a sink of dirty dishes left for the next cycle.   I can then get them all to fit and get cleaned properly.   Had a heated discussion about this earlier in our marriage and my wife strongly indicated there was not a right or wrong way to load the dishwasher.   I agreed but did indicate there were certainly more and less efficient ways to do so.

While she has never agreed to my point, she has committed that I will always do the dishes.To be fair, I think her position was the asshole in our house will do the dishes, and based on her evaluation my reign has been unbroken.

Strange.

I too am an asshole any time I point out something like this that’s objectively incorrect or an easily fixed problem.

And yet, when she lets me know of my many, many, MANY character faults she is only helping.

I like watching other people load their dishwashers.

#Pornhub

I load it, she puts them away. I am cool with that. I hate dealing with tupperware. Fuck that.

Lost tupperware lids make me surly. Up there with that 1 missing sock.

(Oh, and tupperware convincing spell check it needs to be capitalized.)

I believe I have the most trivial surly item ever. 

I made a sandwich the other day and accidentally misaligned my two pieces of bread. The top crust of one piece was aligned with the bottom crust of the other piece, producing a very disappointing first bite of the sandwich.

It was devastating and I may never recover. Pray for me  


 

 

 

Food pickers in the grocery stores make me surly. Constantly blocking the aisles and the items you need to get to. You lazy idiots who cause this make me surly. Get off your couch and go shopping yourselves. 

2 minutes ago, nnm said:

Food pickers in the grocery stores make me surly. Constantly blocking the aisles and the items you need to get to. You lazy idiots who cause this make me surly. Get off your couch and go shopping yourselves. 

They also take corners like they have the inside track at the Indy 500 

5 hours ago, tbone_ said:

People who give a shit how the dishwasher is loaded

You are obviously a poor that does not have a dishwasher.

I feel sorry for you.

32 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

You are obviously a poor that does not have a dishwasher.

I feel sorry for you.

Growing up, this was definitely the case. Only rich people had them.  I don’t know if there was a single automatic dishwasher in my entire village growing up. 

  • Author

there's 5 grams of toothpaste left in the tube that i just can't get to squeeze out.

9 minutes ago, elfenix said:

there's 5 grams of toothpaste left in the tube that i just can't get to squeeze out.

https://a.co/d/h1ZkxwW
 

It’s definitely a design flaw but there are also engineered solutions.

#indeliblehumanspirit

image.thumb.png.6421d93f31676d30c294d7f469633447.png

3 hours ago, Js1 said:

They also take corners like they have the inside track at the Indy 500 

Rubbin’ is shoppin’ 

  • Author
2 hours ago, Dnaguy said:

https://a.co/d/h1ZkxwW
 

It’s definitely a design flaw but there are also engineered solutions.

#indeliblehumanspirit

image.thumb.png.6421d93f31676d30c294d7f469633447.png

You can just bend the tube on a sharp edge of a cabinet or counter to get out most of the remainder. But even that thing won't help this:

 

 

 

PXL_20250209_001124847.MP.jpg

Edited by elfenix

6 hours ago, nnm said:

Food pickers in the grocery stores make me surly. Constantly blocking the aisles and the items you need to get to. You lazy idiots who cause this make me surly. Get off your couch and go shopping yourselves. 

No

My in laws load the silverware pointy ends up. Not only do I not want to get stabbed when unloading them, but I would also rather not grab them by the part that I will later eat with. They have handles for a reason. 

3 hours ago, elfenix said:

there's 5 grams of toothpaste left in the tube that i just can't get to squeeze out.

Cut it open and scrape it on the brush

8 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

I must be getting the olds. I swear 1 out of 3 cars drive with brights on in our town.

Better than people who drives without their lights on. EVERY SINGLE EVENING when I drive home from work, there is at least one car that has no taillights on, and sometimes no headlights either.

What is the etiquette to let someone know they are a moving hazard?

Better than people who drives without their lights on. EVERY SINGLE EVENING when I drive home from work, there is at least one car that has no taillights on, and sometimes no headlights either.
What is the etiquette to let someone know they are a moving hazard?

The etiquette is to flash your lights at them, even turning them on and off.
But here’s the thing….it doesn’t work. I usually drive home from work after dark. And every week, I come across at least one (usually more than one) person with no lights on. So, I’ll get behind them and flash my lights. Hell, if we stop at a light, I’ll even tap my horn, and flash my lights to get their attention. 95% of the time…nada. Zero reaction. There’s a dude honking at you and turning his lights on and off in your rearview, repeatedly…and you do nothing. I don’t fucking get it. I’ve had someone flash their lights at me, I immediately wonder what is up.
16 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

I must be getting the olds. I swear 1 out of 3 cars drive with brights on in our town.

I think part of this is the migration to very bright leds as well as the proliferation of suvs. 

Early in our marriage, my wife gently chided me about how I wasn't very good at loading the dishwasher and that she could do it better. I said I would just leave that task to her from now on. I do the laundry, she does the dishes. Works for me.

I think part of this is the migration to very bright leds as well as the proliferation of suvs. 

Yep. We rented a jeep for a Grand Canyon road trip back in early 2021, lotta country road driving. Every time we drove at night, people would flash their brights at me telling me to turn my brights down. I’d flash my brights back at them to say “dude…these are my low-beams.” They must have been bright as shit, and jeeps do ride high.
1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:


The etiquette is to flash your lights at them, even turning them on and off.
But here’s the thing….it doesn’t work. I usually drive home from work after dark. And every week, I come across at least one (usually more than one) person with no lights on. So, I’ll get behind them and flash my lights. Hell, if we stop at a light, I’ll even tap my horn, and flash my lights to get their attention. 95% of the time…nada. Zero reaction. There’s a dude honking at you and turning his lights on and off in your rearview, repeatedly…and you do nothing. I don’t fucking get it. I’ve had someone flash their lights at me, I immediately wonder what is up.

It's not a Brisket problem.  It's a "I am engaged in the activity of driving this vehicle exactly 0%" problem.

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:


Yep. We rented a jeep for a Grand Canyon road trip back in early 2021, lotta country road driving. Every time we drove at night, people would flash their brights at me telling me to turn my brights down. I’d flash my brights back at them to say “dude…these are my low-beams.” They must have been bright as shit, and jeeps do ride high.

I have a 2021 F-150. I have this exact problem all the time. I don’t like blinding people with my low beam lights, but when I flash my brights, they see just how bad it can be. 

1 hour ago, HRSchenker said:

Stop saying "bless you" when someone coughs. It's fucking weird. 

Yeah, fuck a bucketful of "bless you". I ride with "gesundheit"... soundness over blessedness.

 

13 minutes ago, nnm said:

I have a 2021 F-150. I have this exact problem all the time. I don’t like blinding people with my low beam lights, but when I flash my brights, they see just how bad it can be. 

Does the f150 have a dial to adjust the beam from teh driver seat. My tundra had that, my 4runner does not. I get it. I can see the beam pattern and it is too high, just no way to adjust it. 

4 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

Does the f150 have a dial to adjust the beam from teh driver seat. My tundra had that, my 4runner does not. I get it. I can see the beam pattern and it is too high, just no way to adjust it. 

Good question. I don’t think it does, but now I’m going to look for it!

55 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Fuck you if your truck has four headlights.

 

600$$IMG_2422.jpeg

That is a great pic!!!

 

Surly illuminati already running the plates to check for grievances.

Edited by Iceman

I can live with 4 lights. Fuck the idiots who run their roof fog lights on the highway. I just automatically put them in the Cajun Swamp ass category.

Tom Jones had a world wide hit with the song Brown, brown grass of home.

My dads group took our boys snow tubing over the weekend. One of the little boys, probably 4 years old, slid down and was picking up his tube when some shithead 18 year old ran him over, and the boy hit his head.

Instead of apologizing, just start laughing. My friend went over to the shithead, and he got defensive, saying "it was an accident, chill out". Then flipped out, yelling at my friend saying "I'm a grown man, put your kid down and let's go motherfucker"

 

All he had to do was say "oh shit, are you okay kid?" But he chose to be a low life shit and laugh about it.  It's not worth our time to fight shitheads with nothing to lose but their pride. Hope he gets his comeuppance.

3 hours ago, Iceman said:

That is a great pic!!!

 

Surly illuminati already running the plates to check for grievances.

Good luck on that 30 year old plate.

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

My dads group took our boys snow tubing over the weekend. One of the little boys, probably 4 years old, slid down and was picking up his tube when some shithead 18 year old ran him over, and the boy hit his head.

Instead of apologizing, just start laughing. My friend went over to the shithead, and he got defensive, saying "it was an accident, chill out". Then flipped out, yelling at my friend saying "I'm a grown man, put your kid down and let's go motherfucker"

 

All he had to do was say "oh shit, are you okay kid?" But he chose to be a low life shit and laugh about it.  It's not worth our time to fight shitheads with nothing to lose but their pride. Hope he gets his comeuppance.

That shit is always a risk.  Do I try to impart respecting others to some dipshit who doesn't respect themselves enough to act right in the first place?

Best case is another adult, not the dad, straightens their ass out and basically says, "Read the room, shithead!"

 

"I appreciate you"

Getting tired of hearing this banal trite bullshit.

Guess what, I do not appreciate you.

9 minutes ago, freyguy said:

"I appreciate you"

Getting tired of hearing this banal trite bullshit.

Guess what, I do not appreciate you.

I feel like this came out of nowhere just a few months ago, and now it's everywhere like dog shit. 

  • Author
5 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Good luck on that 30 year old plate.

nice truck your great grandson had

People who say bye by waving both arms.

Waving Family Guy GIF

Oh, and stop carrying your cat around in a backpack.

12 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Stop saying "bless you" when someone coughs. It's fucking weird. 

 

 

4 hours ago, freyguy said:

"I appreciate you"

Getting tired of hearing this banal trite bullshit.

Guess what, I do not appreciate you.

Agreed.  See also: ‘I am proud of you’ from another grown ass adult. I think they mean well, but it’s also condescending as hell.  I’m not doing it to earn your adoration.  Just say, ‘Nice work’ or ‘Good job,’ like everybody else. 

7 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I feel like this came out of nowhere just a few months ago, and now it's everywhere like dog shit. 

I’ve been hearing it for a couple years. I think I can tell the difference between when it’s sincere and when it’s trite, superficial, and even pandering. 

6 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

Oh, and stop carrying your cat around in a backpack.

Easier to throw them in a river that way.

(Really, autocorrect? You thought river should be capitalized? Fuck you. I’ve had to manually correct your autocorrect twice now.)

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Easier to throw them in a river that way.

(Really, autocorrect? You thought river should be capitalized? Fuck you. I’ve had to manually correct your autocorrect twice now.)

I like cats. But they don't belong in a bar/cafe. Nor does your obnoxious puppy or rottweiler.

Next time I hear "can you watch my dog" going to say sure, then leave with it.

On 2/8/2025 at 12:42 PM, nnm said:

Food pickers in the grocery stores make me surly. Constantly blocking the aisles and the items you need to get to. You lazy idiots who cause this make me surly. Get off your couch and go shopping yourselves. 

I counted yesterday at HEB.  Each one of those carts holds 12 orders.  I would rather have one person filling 12 orders than twelve shoppers getting their own groceries; some with kids, many shopping as couples, some with multiple generations, etc.  

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